COOPER! COOP! THE PEOPLE DOWN AT THE BUREAU ARE ACCUSING YOU AND THE SHERIFF OF SOMETHING KNOWN AS DOOMED

i have finally perfected my twitter feed

i feel like getting shot would feel so interesting for two seconds and then it would probably feel bad

hung out with cousin's DJ friend last night and he said the best compliment he's ever received was when he was DJing an orgy and did his research ahead of time and came prepared with Portishead/Massive Attack/Cocteau Twins/etc and halfway through the set, a woman stopped mid-blowjob and pulled the dick out of her mouth to say (to nobody in particular) "damn, this mix is incredible!"

It's sad when the person you want to play pervert with isn't available to be a pervert with you

when i was a kid i thought google maps was the coolest thing in the world. and now i just want to kill myself

the female half of my soul is always fag hagging for my male half that's why i am such a balanced individual

Albert Edward Sterner - Kiss of the Angel (1914)

alternative girl kneeling by her own bedside clasped hands asking god if Pjackk will come back if she quits vaping

me at 7 pm; i will go to bed by 2 am today because i have activities tomorrow

me at 4 am: the pancake emoji 🥞 is kind of erotic to be hinest