Latest Posts by luvmon3t - Page 2

when I attempt to analyze Todoroki Touya's character, I get a distinct feeling Horikoshi's spreadsheet for him before chapter 290 looked like this:

'DABI IS TODOROKI TOUYA (hint at him being Todoroki Touya as much as possible) (make something up for his backstory later)

that's not how you write a secret evil relative subplots. the goal shouldn't be making the reveal as dramatic as possible. especially in the corruption 'break the cutie' type of stories. to make the readers feel for this character, you shouldn't be dedicating your time to teasing them with the possibility of the reveal, you need to also tell the actual damn story.

and Horikoshi just. forgot to do that.

to make the reveal hold any weight and not just serve as a delayed gratification clickbait after years of teasing the readers, you have to establish who the character actually was before they became the villain. if you don't do this, the reveal alone won't do anything to make the audience sympathize with the character, because by that point it will be too late to sway the established opinion with an angsty backstory alone.

Arcane tells a very similar story of the family conflict, but to have the audience be interested in the sisters reunion, to have them feel bad for Jinx despite the horrible acts she commits, you have to first see Powder, the troubled unfortunate and insecure child who loved her sister. only once we are emotionally attached to that innocent and unfairly suffering character, we will start questioning her motives and our emotions once the corruption starts.

if you show the before as a sympathetic character, the after becomes painful not only to the in-universe characters affected by what their once close person had become. if you show the after and hold off the before until after the characters have already reacted to the identity revealing event, your audience will react with 'cool motive, still murder', because they never developed any emotional attachment to said character, no matter how much you make them cry in the flashbacks.

loose reimagining of the family arc under the cut.

and it was so stupid to skip this step because Horikoshi didn't even have to do much. the first point of view we have on the Todoroki family history is Shouto, the youngest sibling who had been isolated from the rest for most of his life. he didn't know much about his siblings, but let him know something! especially with how closely his and Touya's stories are paralleled by design, he should know about Touya the most out of anyone, and Touya is the sibling he should be most curious about.

think about it from Enji and Shouto's pov. Touya was the heir Endeavor created for fulfilling his dream, and after Fuyumi he wasn't planning on having more kids. it was Touya's incompatibility with his own quirk, the eugenics experimentation failure, that is the only reason Natsuo and Shouto even exist. and Shouto is the chosen heir, perfectly fulfilling all conditions demanded by Enji. so he trains him like he wanted to train Touya, but that's not all of it. while Shouto is genetically fit to be a perfect replacement for the role Enji had prepared for Touya, his father had never emotionally connected with him the way he did with Touya. and he made sure Shouto was aware of that, because he talked to Shouto about Touya.

Shouto, who had been miserable because of his father for most of his life, knows that Touya was the older brother who should have been in his place, and he escaped that place. he stopped his training and left the dojo to live a normal life, together with his siblings. and Shouto wanted to have that life more than anything. he begged his father to let him join his siblings, he wistfully observed them through the windows, he imagined what his siblings are like, he asked his mother about them. and the entire time, the sibling he knew the most about was Touya, his eldest brother whom he had to replace as father's training dummy.

there's so much space for depth in there! you can do so much by briefly sharing the intensity of Shouto's complicated feelings, by giving a bare glimpse of his rumination about his siblings. just don't lump them all together into a faceless blob of happy children that unhappy little Shouto wanted to join, because their history is so much deeper than that.

inserting the flashback of Enji talking to Shouto about Touya during the Sports Festival arc would have been the best way to set up the intrigue. just a bare glimpse of Enji using Touya as the example little Shouto was failing to follow, cut to Shouto observing his three siblings through the window.

and that would be enough to connect the initial story threads of the Todoroki family and nudge the readers in the right direction. Iida also has an older brother who is a hero. with that example in mind Shouto not mentioning Touya at all would be suspicious enough to have people start questioning the mysterious older brother's identity, because surely, if the number one hero, who trained Shouto to be the most proficient hero in his class trained his older brother as well he would be a licenced hero already?

then, the lack of said brother's presence in the story starts to become glaring. the simple mention for Enji having trained Touya and telling Shouto how good his brother was with his quirk, separates him from the faceless group of Shouto's civilian siblings who are out there doing their boring civilian stuff and not necessarily needed to be in this story about kids becoming heroes. Touya being dead is a reveal put away for later, but to drive up the intrigue, he needs to be a ghost haunting the narrative. make it inconsistent and confusing, make characters talk about him and omit saying anything outright.

then you can use Natsuo as a red herring by not introducing the siblings by names when they visit Rei together. he's Shouto's older brother, he is weirdly hostile to Endeavor, he lives away from the family. well, this checks out. but wasn't this weirdly anticlimactic?.. also didn't he say he doesn't do well in hot temperatures?

later, during the Todoroki family dinner arc introduce Natsuo by name and confuse the readers even more, because the new brother turned out to not be Touya whom we have been anticipating to meet since Shouto had first talked about his family. make Shouto, who is still adjusting to being able to interact with his siblings, start asking about their childhood. he wants to express that happiness he feels about being together with them, so he wonders out loud if Touya also felt this happy when father allowed him to play with Fuyumi and Natsuo more. his brother and sister's faces turn weirdly grim at that remark. Fuyumi offers some stories from their childhood, trying to lighten the mood. that's the readers first proper glimpse at Touya in the flashbacks. Fuyumi talks about him always being on his computer, how impossible it was to drag him outside to play. Natsuo reminisces how the slightest stretch of intense activity was enough to have him fall to the ground and refuse to get up. Fuyumi talks about the time Touya and herself made 8 years old Natsuo carry both of them. Natsuo proudly reports that he didn't even break his back. the atmosphere in the room is light and comfortable, Shouto listening to their stories with undivided attention, his eyes glistening. after a moment of idle silence, Natsuo glances at him. he tells Shouto how usually it's hard to read his face, because he is so unexpressive. but he remembers when Shouto was little he was a total crybaby, just like Touya was.

with the picture of Touya the child painted and the question about adult Touya up in the air, Enji can join the dinner. Natsuo storms off and Shouto follows him and Enji, not understanding what caused his chill older brother to act like this. Fuyumi attempts to hold him back, to no avail. she doesn't want Shouto to hear what Natsuo has to say to their father. she also is no longer sure that keeping him in the dark is the correct decision. she sighs, 'mother, what should I do?'. she is too young for this.

insert Midoriya into the family dinner if you want your dramatic storytelling, and have him timidly ask Fuyumi why did their older brother not join them for dinner. cut to Shouto hiding behind the door, listening to Natsuo's shouts about Enji abandoning him and Fuyumi, stealing their mom and Shouto from them, ruining Shouto's childhood. 'but you know what you will never be forgiven for, not even in hell?' Natsuo asks, tears streaming down his face. cut to-

'Touya is dead', Fuyumi tells Midoriya, his pleasant smile frozen on his face, eyes growing wide.

cut back to Shouto, hyperventilating behind the palms covering his face. he doesn't even notice sliding down the wall. he barely registers the heavy footsteps of Enji going back in his direction and he can't be bothered to care about his eavesdropping being discovered. his mind is still echoing Natsuo's words on repeat.

'you can play hero all you want, but you know what you really are is a murderer'.

boom. hook, line and sinker. no need to have the characters spell out who thinks what, the '[Natsuo thinks that] Enji killed Touya' was so stupidly unnecessary it turned a mystery drama thriller Todoroki subplot into a Law and Order episode. let the characters speak their minds and reach their own conclusions! when they learn something horrible, don't send the good and righteous character rushing to correct their assumption. let Shouto be actually curious about what happened to the members of his family, let him learn their different perspectives! dont make the Todoroki Touya reveal into a singular event, an award for the readers who have been arguing about it for years. turn it into something that holds weight for the actual characters inside the story, a mystery, an investigation with the reveal being at the finishing line the characters themselves need to reach, not an inescapable event that will happen despite the characters' actions.

letting Dabi interact with the non-Enji Todorokis wouldn't have ruined the mystery, it would have given much more depth the all the characters, defined the actual drama they are going through, given them more individuality by allowing them to have different opinions on the situation instead of joining them into a Frankenstein mindless blob of 'family' taking their collective 'responsibility'.

make Dabi and Shouto's first meeting an uncomfortably long moment of staring, Dabi looking at Shouto with sad condescension, Shouto being visibly confused by the villain's loaded expression. make this about the characters themselves, and not about the readers being smart enough to connect the only villain with a flame quirk to the only family of flame quirk users.

let Natsuo and Dabi meet, make Dabi kill Hood for attacking his brother because his father was too late. make Natsuo question the villain's identity together with the readers, make him and Shouto join their efforts to unfold the mystery of what had happened to their older brother.

the question should never have been 'is Dabi Touya Todoroki?' asked by the author to his readers. it should have been 'what does Dabi being Touya Todoroki mean to the characters associated with him?'. and it should have been answered by the characters themselves.

mha villains: i love my friends so much that with the power of friendship we will change this world so that everyone can live in peace and not get ridiculed and abused for their differences! and i kill people.

mha heroes: i think youre creepy so stand still while i bash your brains out. i like fighting so much i'll hurt anyone who crosses me. victims of abuse should shut the fuck up about it cause i dont care and neither does anyone else if they know what's good for them. i refuse to change if it means someone else's life might get better, but i'll be out of a job. and i kill people.

characters who dig themselves out of their graves (whether literal or metaphorical) are at the top of the list. nothing beats a character who should have died but didn't and comes back to haunt their own life and the world around them, benevolent or violent it doesn't matter, it's enthralling either way

give me a chance dabi pleaseeeee

fem dabi but y/n restrains themselves from jumping her pfft

wherever you are

"The struggle of brotherly love"

“What happened to arresting me, detective?!

I thought you were gonna show me the light…!”

Sorry to bother you but I’ve been getting into BSD and Chuuya’s my fave, but I’ve been seeing some contradictory things in fanfic so…

Does Chuuya actually have a god sealed inside him? I thought it was just like his power without limitations and was dubious of those takes, but since eldritch beings can apparently be a thing (and not an ability), I think it could be plausible either way.

Though even if it’s not I can see why people would use that route for some good angst.

This is not a bother at all! This is something I very much like to talk about

if you're really new I do recommend you go read both "Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old" and "STORM BRINGER" light novels (but SB especially), not only are they great books with Chuuya as the focal point but they will help answer your question in depth (you can buy the English translations but I can help you find the translation online if that's what you need, just message me again)

The short version is that Arahabaki being an actual god, a separate entity from Chuuya that has a personality/a voice/desires, is a common fanon trope, but not a canon fact. The truth is more complex and much more fun, lore-wise, in my opinion

And now the long version, because I'm passionate about this and this is my excuse to deep dive into it (spoilers for Fifteen)

In Fifteen, Chuuya says this:

Chuuya himself presents "Arahabaki" as nothing more than pure power. No thoughts, no personality, but powerful for sure.

That phrasing in Fifteen created a lot of confusion I think, talking about gods as real but also not:

But I think it's more of a symbolic reference, talking about immense power that seem out of this world. Because in practice, as Chuuya said before, "Arahabaki" is simply raw power, not an entity. You can't pray to it, it can't understand you, it can't perform miracles (which is why he knew the Old Boss couldn't have been brought back by Arahabaki and it was all nonsense from the start)

I'm also putting part of the blame on the anime, where they decided (while not being exactly wrong either, out of context it's weird) to illustrate Chuuya "floating in a bluish-black darkness, surrounded by a transparent seal" and being pulled out by a hand:

like this:

When, if you actually reread that part in the novel with knowledge about Storm Bringer, it's actually this moment that was being referred to:

Which brings us to Storm Bringer! (heavy spoilers I'm serious)

"Project Arahabaki" was the Japanese government's attempt to create an ability weapon from an individual. They wanted to craft a singularity that could be used multiple times, thus granting them access to power that should not be accessible normally. They based their research on what France had discovered through Verlaine. The objective is to create a massive energy output through a self-contradicting ability, for which you need a vessel:

Chuuya is the device. "Arahabaki" is the massive energy. That massive energy can control gravity to the point of being able to create localized black holes! N implied that part of the lab's work for the Arahabaki Project was to modify Chuuya's body to be able to withstand the constant gravity effects on it so he doesn't just die. Chuuya's normal use of his ability doesn't seem to have any drastic effects on him, and his physical resilience (to getting hit, stabbed, poisoned, shot, electrocuted, to going through a black hole) does seem to imply they did succeed at least in part.

And this bit here explains why "Arahabaki" was the chosen name for the project; unexplained phenomena across History that can be linked to an ability going haywire, but were attributed to god-like interventions at the time. So you're a funny little mad scientist, you read research papers from another mad scientist that named their own creation after a mythological monster, and you decide to do the same with your own local folklore.

But!

There's still something to be said about how "Arahabaki" is a singularity, and therefore, has its own set of rules. Chuuya does loose control, Chuuya does regress to a sort of destructive instinct while under Corruption. But "Arahabaki" is still no more than an ability singularity. Here's what is said about Guivre and Arahabaki:

They are both singularity life-forms. They exist because they are singularities; outside of it, they are nothing. The inner workings of abilities are still mysterious, but most of them have a link to their wielder's desires. For example, Atsushi's Tiger is there to protect him, a mirror to his will to live no matter what. Verlaine's Guivre is similar:

Guivre was a beast born out of Verlaine's loneliness and resulting hatred. He felt deeply alone in not feeling/being human, and through Pan's (his "creator") special "programming" of Verlaine's ability, N was able to trigger the true form of his singularity with that flare gun and metal powder, which took the form of Guivre. It's what the hat was supposed to prevent, but Verlaine had already lost it by then.

Chuuya's Arahabaki is probably similar. Its first apparition was when Rimbaud tried to absorb him and use his ability for himself, and any subsequent use is linked to grief and survival. Basically, if they're their own entities, they are still born in a specific context and deeply linked to the original ability user's character. And Arahabaki? Only exists if Chuuya uses his activation phrase to get rid of the limitations put into place to prevent him from exploding:

More about about Corruption: SB is kind enough to give us an explanation on how the nullification process works, right here:

Chuuya's self-contradicting ability makes him able to control gravity through the sheer amount of energy it creates by permanently interacting with itself. It is kept under control through the use of an activation phrase, O grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again, which, after being either said or thought by Chuuya, will open his "Gate" (which I'm interpreting as a blocker put in place by the lab so the singularity doesn't just kill him, like those poor people they mentioned existed through History), and by opening it, "free Arahabaki's true power" (aka Corruption). When Dazai uses his ability on him, the base self-contradicting ability is nullified, which cancels out the singularity taking place, which stops Corruption and allows that "Gate" to close again. The red markings are there because they're cool and fun.

To conclude, I'll let Dazai do the honors:

bonus: what does that mean for Chuuya's ability?

bons 2: Perceived timeline of Chuuya's past and what happened to to create confusion around his humanity

I am treating the Cannibalism stage play as, like, an official fanfic, but it gave me emotions about Chuuya and he is my blorbo I need to share more details about the infamous "Chuuya cries" moment with full context:

Since they did not have a costume or actor for Poe, they got rid of Chuuya and Ranpo getting stuck in his story, and instead gave Chuuya a mini arc about leadership. They made Chuuya doubt his own legitimacy as a leader (for the Port Mafia) every step of the way.

He started out by saying that as the ex-leader of the Sheep, an enemy organization, it made no sense for him to be the interim boss of the Port Mafia. He even told Kouyou she should take the role because he used to be her subordinate. Kouyou convinced him to step up to the challenge by pointing out he usually didn't hesitate to lead people ("but those times I was acting on the boss' orders") and that she had 8 boxes full of Steel Oracles written by subordinates who wanted and trusted him to be up to the task.

Steel Oracles were the stage play's answer to the Silver Oracles. If the Silver Oracles are the boss entrusting a subordinate with power to act, the Steel Oracles are the subordinates entrusting an individual with the power to lead them. They are check notes with the name of the individual being entrusted written on the back, signed by the person submitting it, and symbolizes the submitter entrusting that individual with everything that they have and are. Chuuya had 8 boxes with his name on it.

He later (obviously desperate) goes to request Verlaine help them assassinate Fukuzawa. Chuuya says the PM his family that he needs to protect. He wants Mori to live. He's having a very rough time. (Verlaine refuses but makes him realize Dazai is plotting something)

When all is said and done, he meets with Mori and Chuuya says he'll be returning the Steel Oracles to the subordinates. Mori jokes about Chuuya being more popular than him, so shouldn't he name Chuuya boss instead? Chuuya refuses immediately, saying that the people were only saying he was strong, not that he had their respect, and says he could never be a boss like Mori. He makes a comment about Mori having already said he wanted Dazai as the next boss anyway.

Mori agrees, Chuuya looks a little resigned and starts walking away. But then, Mori produces 5 new Steel Oracles: they're all signed by the Flags. Mori says he was given these long ago, by "experts" who had seen Chuuya's potential way back then. Mori says he had promised to look after Chuuya until the time came. He says that the people he considered family also considered him family. Chuuya hears the voices of the Flags calling out to him, takes the Steel Oracles with a stiff nod and excuses himself (the first anime ending, namae wo yobu yo, starts playing then). He avoids looking at Kouyou, who asks him if he's crying, and exits as quickly as possible.

During the outro section, we see Chuuya again, holding the Flags' Steel Oracles. He smiles (smirks really) and puts them in the interior pocket of his coat, before joining in on the choreography.

For bonus points, when Chuuya was the interim boss, he still had that "nobody needs to be hurt more than necessary" attitude he has in the manga. He fought Kyouka in Mori's room by using martial arts instead of gravity. He was also ruthless in filling in for the role of the Black Lizard for this story: he wanted to use Tanizaki as a hostage to get the ADA, and told him that once Tanizaki was no longer of use, he would be disposed of, just like every ADA member would be killed off until they got Fukuzawa. He wanted to cut Tanizaki's ear off to send to the ADA to tell them the deal was off. It was clearly business for him. He said he took no pleasure in it.

All in all, with tone, acting and context, Chuuya's hesitancy to lead the PM here was clearly an issue of self-confidence. Nobody would trust him with the role. Someone else would be better for it. He has too much baggage to be up to the task. People fear him more than they respect him.

And that issue is "resolved" (big word) when it turned out people he held in high esteem and cared about actually believed in him too. They saw him, they knew him, they cared for him, and they thought that, in time, he would be great. And that's what got to him.

I made some funny comics a little while ago about the potential effects of Fukuzawa's ability on Chuuya's, and how it perhaps could make it revert to a pre-Arahabaki state.

I realized later that some of you lack the context for where that came from, and that I might be creating confusion, so this is a (hopefully) comprehensive walkthrough of things we learned in Storm Bringer that lead to this conclusion.

tldr; The lab created "Arahabaki" by manipulating an ability into a destructive force. That ability existed before the lab, and the nature of that ability is heavily implied to be the power to enhance other abilities through touch.

Explanation and sources below (so you can judge yourself) ⬇

- spoiler warning for Storm Bringer, hopefully written in a way that you'd understand even if you haven't read it yet -

In Storm Bringer, Chuuya meets the scientist that was responsible for Project Arahabaki, Professor N.

Project Arahabaki, N explains, was the Japanese government's secret project to create an ability singularity they could have control over and freely use as a weapon.

What are singularities? Singularities are what happens when abilities clash in specific ways and create a new, unforeseen reaction. The easiest way to create a singularity is to pit two contradictory abilities against each other to create a paradox; examples included the ability to always deceive and the ability to always perceive the truth, and to have two ability users who can see into the future (*coughs* Oda and Gide) try to one-up each other. The result is usually much more powerful than the original abilities on their own.

Some singularities are said to have been explained as god-like interventions, because of their often destructive nature. This is what inspired the name "Arahabaki", after the mythical being (here's a post of the subject and I'll it link at the end too) These events are described as very rare.

Like mentioned in that passage, there is another way to create a singularity: to have a single ability user use their ability in a way that contradicts itself. This is what the lab was trying to do.

For that explanation, Professor N gives an example. He first shows a video of a child, whose face is hidden from the camera, holding a coin (described as having a certain melancoly to it), with a moon and a fox engraved on it. The video is from one of the lab's tests. The child is made to recite some activation lines, which are directly taken from one of Nakahara Chuuya's poems, Upon the Tainted Sorrow (which does mentions a fox, as a fun fact).

The coin then starts glowing, the glow turns into a black mass, and from there the experimentation goes bad: the coin starts attracting things and absorbing them, the space gets distorted, the child's vitals flatline, panic spreads and someone calls for an emergency stop, we hear a scream. The video ends.

N explains that the child in the video had the ability to enhance the ability of others. That child then used that ability on themselves, effectively enhancing the enhancement which enhanced the enhancing, in an infinite loop. That loop created a lot of energy; the surplus of energy was so intense its mass deformed space (physics!) and it created a black hole.

Here's where it gets tricky: N claims that child died during that accident, that the child was absorbed by the black hole created by their ability. We never actually learn their identity.

But N is a lying liar who lies; he said about one and a half truths the entire book. The only reason he was telling them any of this was that he thought he'd get rid of all of them within the next few minutes. His objective was always to regain control over Chuuya, his pet project.

Plus, during the epilogue, we learn that Chuuya was assumed to have died during the war. That's what his parents think. That's what is officially recorded.

Furthermore.

Project Arahabaki was based off French research papers; someone else had done this kind of experimentation before, and their result was Verlaine.

-

Verlaine's gravity-manipulation is a singularity. Better yet: Verlaine also has a Corruption state, named Brutalization. Their abilities are the same, because the lab copied the techniques that were used to create Verlaine when they worked on Chuuya.

Here's a passage of Dazai nullifying Corruption, at the very end of SB:

"The self-contradicting skill, which was supporting the energy of a singularity". This passage confirms that the source of Chuuya's ability is, in fact, like the child's and Verlaine's, if any doubts remained. "[...] weakening the singularity's output. It wasn't long before it returned to its normal state, and the Gate closed." The Gate refers to releasing Arahabaki, it's basically a limiter, just like the passage above when talking about Brutalization. When Dazai nullifies Corruption, he gives that limiter the opportunity to come back and seal Chuuya's power away again, but does not stop the singularity, only allows it to go back to its stable state.

From all that, we can say that Chuuya's ability wasn't always gravity manipulation, but that it was another, unconfirmed ability that was exploited in such a way that it became a permanent, stable singularity that allowed him to have control over gravity.

-

Bullet point recap:

Chuuya's gravity manipulation comes from a singularity, like Verlaine, like that child;

You need a self-referencing/self-contradicting ability to create that singularity;

Such an event is rare;

There is a substantial amount of time spent describing a "random" child that was experimented on during the war;

That child created a black hole through their singularity;

That singularity was activated using a passage from Nakahara Chuuya's poems, while holding a coin that references it;

That child supposedly died;

Chuuya's parents think he died during the war;

N is a pathological liar with an agenda.

So no, there is no "confirmation" that Chuuya's ability was ability enhancement before the lab took him. But an author writes a story with an intent, so I am asking what Asagiri's intent was when writing all this, and if perhaps we weren't indirectly given the answer already.

-

What is Arahabaki (Fifteen and Storm Bringer lore, with too many citations)

My own perceived timeline of the true events behind Storm Bringer (was originally gonna be part of this part, also with too many citations)

thinking about how ultimately it was dazai who was too sentimental to stay in the mafia

Just wanted to say, I just saw your post about Chuuya's loyalty again, and when I read the tag on it mentionning your theory about Mori's involvement in Chuuya's past... I was confused for a minute and then I scrambled for my notes to know when did Yosano join the War when did Mori write his theory on abilities' as weapons

You sent me in a spiral with that one comment I'm still reeling. Is that where you were going with it???

hehehe

Tbh I need to reread the manga because I totally forgot about Mori's theory on weponizing abilities until you reminded me but it sure as hell is adding fuel to my theory, huh?

Basically I read a post about how real life Nakahara Chuuya had ties to Mori Ougai through his family, to the point where the poet spread rumors that he was named "Chuuya" because of Mori (he wasn't). Here's the post if you're interested.

But basically it points out that "N" could be referring to "Nakamura", instead of "Nakahara" like N claimed in Stormbringer. N lied about Chuuya being a copy instead of the original, so why would he not lie about this, too?

Real life Nakamura and Chuuya's father served in the military under RL Mori Ougai's command. In the Light Novel, it's mentioned that Chuuya's father had a high military rank, and not only that, he was also a doctor.

My theory is this.

In the world of BSD, N, Mori, and the man we learn to be Chuuya's father all served together during the War(tm) and became close. Both N and Mori were interested in harnessing abilities for military warfare. They learn about Nakaraha's son, a kid who just so happens to have an ability that could be manipulated into a singularity and conspire to take him away (the video and N's speech in the LN implies Chuuya's original ability might have been? Amplifying other abilities?? Which is super interesting, considering, y'know, Dazai's nullification ability).

N implies that the original ability user died in the creation of the singularity, but we know that's not the case. Also, here's an interesting tidbit from N's monologue: "The Arahabaki Project was, more or less, a highly classified state secret after all. Only one person was granted insight authorization."

He couldn't be referring to himself, he was one of the researchers. So why is this an important tidbit to mention?

What if Mori is the person who was offered insight authorization. This makes sense timeline-wise, considering that by the end of the project Mori would have still been in the military and Yosano would have still been under his command.

Mori knew the whole time who Chuuya was. He also knew Chuuya was human the entire time, hence why he so easily pointed out the graphite scar at the end, how he knew who Chuuya's parents were. And at some point in the future, this is gonna be revealed, and Chuuya is gonna find out.

Aaand that's my theory. I could go on about how this might tie in to that "storm on the horizon" sequel the novel was hinting at, but- idk. I might be completely off to be honest XD.

you are so galaxy brain, I'm enjoying scrolling through your skk takes so much. I love the depth with which you see them both as individuals and their dynamic. I feel it's something sorely lacking in this fandom (I'm in the process of rage-writing Too Many fics in a fit of "if I want it done right I GUESS I have to do it myself") but I feel like you just Get It 😌😌😌I'm trying to think of a question to ask now so I have an excuse to hear you be right about them some more.

mmm, I've been seeing a lot of fics lately that depict dazai acting on his mental illness and harming himself in some way, and chuuya coming along to ~ save him ~ and being all "don't do it again" "okay I won't!" and it's really grinding my gears, what are your thoughts? How do you think chuuya would actually feel/think/react to witnessing or being acutely aware of dazai indulging his mental illnesses in that way? I think it's a really interesting thing to look at through Chuuya's eyes and I think his responses to it would be very complex.

Lets talk about Fifteen for a second.

It's something I noticed recently, that I immediately had to tell @originalartblog about because it comepletely made me re-think skk's entire relationship as well as their deal with mental illness.

(tw: in-depth talk about suicidal ideation, suicide, depression, you know, the works)

I think the fandom collectively tends to think of Chuuya as the "more stable" one, someone who, while maybe not being compeltely healthy, is still healthy enough to "take care of" other people, to take care of Dazai, specifically. And I kind of fell into that idea too, that while a lot of Chuuya's issues are similar to Dazai's issues, he has enough sense of purpose and companionship from the people around him to not be as bad as Dazai. If Chuuya is portrayed as suicidal, it's in a sacrificial sort of way, you know, the classic "I don't care if I live as long as everybody else gets to" type thing we see in a lot of heroic characters.

But then I reread the final fight in Fifteen and was like wait.

Consider this sequence of events:

Rimbaud reveals his true colors and urges Dazai and Chuuya to give him, Chuuya refuses, and fights the entire time with his hands in his pockets.

Dazai asks for his five minutes of "convincing Chuuya to die", at which Chuuya says "You can't convince me of anything."

Dazai says he changed his mind about dying, and Chuuya demands to know why, at which point Dazai gives his whole "living close to death" speech. They agree to team up.

Immediately after their talk, and Dazai saying "Chuuya convinced me not to die", Chuuya takes his hands out of his pockets.

5. A fight scene later, and Chuuya explains why he keeps his hands in his pockets the whole time, a mystery set up on par with the mystery of Arahabaki. Back in the arcade, Dazai asks why he's deliberately putting himself at risk: "It can't just be lazyness...You know someone stronger is gonna come around at some point, you can't afford to let your guard down in fights."

6. Then they beat Rimbaud. And what last words does he have for Chuuya? A plead for Chuuya to live.

I think Dazai's speech about finding a reason to live didn't just impact Dazai, but Chuuya, too. Chuuya convinced Dazai not to die yet, but the same goes the other way around, with Chuuya finally finding enough will to live to take his hands out of his pockets and finally protect himself properly. The hands in pockets thing (and by extension, the gloves) aren't a show of arrogance or boredom or even Chuuya's doubt of his own humanity - they are a show of how much Chuuya is willing to live at that moment, how much he wants to fight back to survive. And before Dazai urged him to beat Rimbaud? Chuuya was letting Rimbaud win.

By extension, the times when Chuuya uses Corruption are probably the times when he wants to live the most. Since Dazai is the only one alive who knows the reason for the gloves, it's a silent signal of "I trust you to keep me alive because I don't want to die yet".

My point is that passive suicidal ideation is *still* suicidal ideation. "If I don't fight back maybe at some point when I'm close to death I'll feel like I want to" is suicidal ideation. It comes back around in Stormbringer, when Chuuya questions why he should fight back against N when his own existence doesn't mean anything. Each one of his mistakes is treated as another reason he shouldn't exist. Chuuya was never okay and I don't understand why we keep pretending he was.

As for the specifics of the ask: Chuuya wouldn't "indulge" Dazai, because everything he hates about Dazai has to do with Dazai's depression and nihilism, because it is his own depression and nihilism. Honestly, if anything I see Chuuya's response to Dazai's mental illness being way more on the problematic side than people like to portray. He can't offer empathy, because he'll have to put himself in Dazai's shoes and that is actually mentally dangerous for him, because it's a mentality he's desperately fighting against in himself. Of course he lashes out. Of course he's angry. He's tried reaching out to Dazai (again, that phone call scene in SB), and Dazai doesn't want that, anyway, so why should he try?

That doesn't mean he's totally apathetic or cruel. Chuuya's acts of care have always been more on the physical side of things. We have Beast, where Chuuya is adamant about protecting Dazai's life both from others and from his own reckless behavior, but they never talk, and that's why the line "Dazai committed suicide without telling him anything" is so brutal. Chuuya honestly wanted Dazai to come to him and say something, but Dazai never did because they both have so many walls up a genuine conversaion seems impossible.

Do you think hauntings can go both ways. Like, if a ghost is a dead person who can't move on, what is an alive person who can't let go of someone dead? Grief as a form of haunting. Dragging the memory of a corpse with you because it's all that's left of them. Seeing them out of the corner of your eye sometimes. You know. It pairs nicely with obsession of revenge

Reading Storming Bringer, and the phrase in this quote's got me thinking

'That was when Chuuya noticed Verlaine's lingering gravity was absorbing the metallic particles'

But, at this point in the story, Verlaine was unconscious until a few seconds ago and he's not coherent when he wakes up and the narration doesn't mention him specifically activating his ability in relation to whats happening to him.

Just his 'lingering gravity'.

And a little before this, there's this quote:

'The battle was over, but the remnants of the gravitational waves were still rumbling through the woodlands'

Again more lingering effects of Verlaine's ability, this time affecting the landscape where he used his ability.

So like, what if, when Chuuya or Verlaine use their abilities an excessive amount, their person and/or the space they used it in gets distorted for a while.

Imagine Chuuya almost having a magnetic pull for a bit. He reaches for his mug and as his hand gets closer it slides towards him. He's walking down the street in autumn and the leaves keep sticking to him like he's full of friction.

Or sometimes it's a push and objects keep sliding away from him. Someone bumps into him in the hallway and they get pushed back. Chuuya has to try and explain he didn't just shove them. His pen keeps rolling away from him on his desk when he goes to note something down.

What if, for a while the gravity was just messed up in Suribachi City and anywhere else Chuuya activated Corruption??

Imagine if there was a myth that the centre of Suribachi was heavier than the outer circle, that you couldn't jump as high, that if you carried a crate towards he centre of the city you would literally feel it increasing in weight. The older houses all lean towards the centre, some people say it's the terrible craftsmanship of cheap houses, other say it the strange pull of Suribachi city. Rumours that you could never really leave the city because you would feel the heart of it pulling you right back.

Imagine the forest where he fought Lovecraft being literally scarred as the trees all seem lean into the clearing, their branches all stretching in and down towards the centre. The animals instinctively avoiding that space because they know something is off and they don't like it. If the birds fly too close to the ground they get confused.

People tell stories of the monster that appeared in the alley way one day and ate half the street. When they tried to rebuild houses there, accidents kept happening on the construction site, nobody could explain it, but the air just felt dense. As if the creature that ate the street did not want humans to reclaim it.

Just Chuuya unintentionally being the cause of many "supernatural" sites in Yokohama.

they match each other's freak

rip dabert you would’ve loved Charli XCX

Hi! I loved your web weaves, would you mind doing another one for isagi? I’m having shrimp emotions about him rn

ISAGI YOICHI - “Me, As The First Grave”.

Oscar Wilde, “The Picture of Dorian Grey” / Catherynne M Valente, “The Orphan’s Tales: In The Night Garden” / Jennifer Willoughby, “Beautiful Zero: Poems” / Virginia Woolf, “Orlando” / Cameron Awkward-Rich, “The Child Formerly Known As” / Sylvia Plath, “The Bell Jar”.

Blue Lock Nutrition Deep Dive

It’s common knowledge the food situation in Blue Lock is… not the best.  Well I made the glorious decision to do a deep dive on it and see just how bad the nutrition situation may have been.  I wanted to see just how much of a deficit everyone was getting put in, how much everyone is growing in spite of the horrid nutrition.  

Disclaimers because I feel the need to be thorough: 

Since I did some quantitative shenanigans, many assumptions and guesses had to be made for missing information.  I’m focusing on Isagi for simplicity. Some extrapolation can be done from there.  

I do try to be up to date on the basics, but I’m no nutrition expert.  These are just my thoughts from what I read and have learned over years in sports.  

I go into calories, macro and micronutrients, and other underfueling stuff that can get touchy.  Please read at your own discretion.

Okay let’s dive in! 

Early on, we learn everyone gets rice and miso plus one main for every meal, Isagi’s being natto.  Using general info in a food logging database and eyeballing quantities, we get this: 

Rice (~200g) and miso soup (~250g) : 336 calories (11g protein, 64g carbs, 4g fat, 2g fiber)

Natto (~50g): 118 calories (10g protein, 6g carbs, 6g fat, 3g fiber)

So every meal Isagi has is 454 calories (21g protein, 71g carbs, 10g fat, 5g fiber)

As a preworkout meal/ snack this would be relatively reasonable as it’s higher carb with moderate protein, lower fat, and lower fiber.  

Seeing Isagi eating this and only this 3 times a day means his daily macros look like this: 

1,362 calories (63g protein, 213g carbs, 30g fat, 15g fiber)

Already doesn’t look like much.  Let’s estimate Isagi’s needs for performance.  

I decided to use the Mifflin-St Jeor equation to determine Isagi’s basal metabolic rate (BMR).  BMR is basically the bare minimum your body needs to just exist (think pumping blood, beathing, etc. at rest).  From the BMR you multiply by a coefficient to estimate the rest of the calories needed to live your life (TEF, EAT, NEAT)

This equation uses both height and weight in its calculations.  SInce we don’t have Isagi’s weight I did a little googling and found an analysis of height/ weight of athlete’s at the 2018 world cup (source).  Isagi is reported as 179 cm, which is extremely close to the reported average height for a midfielder.  The average reported weight for a midfielder is 74kg so I’m using that to estimate.  Using this info, we now can estimate Isagi’s BMR is 1,760 calories.  Since Isagi is in Blue Lock, we will use the coefficient associated with a highly active lifestyle (1.9) and estimate Isagi needs 3,344 calories/ day.  

For estimating macros, I estimated 2.16g protein/kg (falls in a recommended range for athletes), 25% total calories from fat (common range for performance is 20-30%), and the rest as carbs, giving a macro distribution of 160g protein, 466g carbs, 93g fat.  (As a hyper generalized quick reference: protein is important for building and maintaining muscle, carbs are usually the preferred fuel source, and fats are important for hormone production and regulation.)  

I’m going to add another disclaimer here.  Equations and things are great for getting a ballpark of needs, but nutrition is dynamic and individualized.  Needs can vary a LOT. Also Isagi is still a youth athlete so he could very much still be growing and have even higher needs.  

Now that we have something to compare against, I’m going to reiterate numbers: 

Blue Lock day of eating: 1,362 calories; 63g protein, 213g carbs, 30g fat

Isagi’s needs: 3,344 calories (BMR 1,760 calories); 160g protein, 466g carbs, 93g fat

So Isagi isn’t even hitting his BMR.  He’s getting less than HALF the calories he needs, just over a third of the protein he needs and LESS THAN A THIRD of the fat he needs.  

That’s fucked.  And that’s dangerous.  As any human that’s dangerous.  As a trend, this is low energy availability, or LEA.  Leave that alone and it may turn into an extra fun version called RED-S, or relative energy deficiency in sports.  Both are problems and lead to increase in injury risk, trouble healing from said injuries, trouble thermoregulating, loss of menstruation if that’s applicable, increased risk of illness, GI issues, hormone issues, fatigue, it just keeps going.  Yeah, BAD.  

So total energy is bad, but how about other nutrients? Are those any better? Looking at some of the heavy hitters, here’s what Isagi is getting per day: 

Fiber: 15g  Fiber intake recs are 10-15g/ 1,000 cal, so minimum 30g for Isagi.  His poor gut health.  

Omega 3’s and 6’s: 1.26 omega 3, 8.5g omega 6 Recommended intake of omega 3s is 1.6-4g depending on the source in a 4:1 (omega 6: omega 3) ratio to omega 6’s.  These are fats that cannot be made in house and must be consumed.  They’re most famous for their roles in inflammation management.  Isagi might be okay on omega 6’s, but not omega 3’s.  

B vitamins: no B12, some of the others but not enough to worth writing out B vitamins are really important for metabolism, the brain, red blood cells, etc.  and Isagi is missing one of them completely!!!!!

Vitamins A and D: none NONE!!!!! Enough said, I don’t need to go into details for you to know how much of a problem this is.  

Vitamin C: 35mg Recommended intake is 90mg daily.  Vitamin C is famous for boosting the immune system, but that’s not the only thing it does.  

Iron: 25.8mg This one gets funky but actually looks okay.  Natto is saving Isagi’s ass with its solid iron content.  With male anatomy, 8mg/ day can be okay.  If he’s menstruating, 18mg/ day is a better target.  The big thing here, though, is we can absorb 2 types of iron: heme and nonheme.  Heme iron comes from animal sources and is significantly more bioavailable than nonheme.  For vegetarian or vegan diets, it’s recommended to increase those values by 1.8x to account for this bioavailability issue.  Here, Isagi is getting nonheme iron, so he really does need that extra iron.  I will also note, having issues storing iron is also a thing that can be connected to RED-S.  

Calcium: 576 mg Recommended minimum is 1,000mg.  The big thing calcium is best known for is bone health, which is kind of really important.  

Zinc: 8.5 mg  Recommended intake is minimum 11mg.  

Magnesium: 245mg Recommended intake is 400-420mg.  

Sodium and potassium:  These (as well as magnesium and calcium) are major electrolytes lost in sweat so needs are more individualized than I can reasonably estimate.  At the very least, the low calcium and magnesium to start with paint a not so good story here either. 

Looking at micronutrients, it’s important to note you would have to eat an obscene amount to hit 100% of all recommended daily intakes of all micronutrients. That’s part of why it is encouraged to eat a variety of different foods if you can. Isagi's Blue Lock diet dies not vary, which is part of what makes this problematic.

So what does this mean for the rest of Blue Lock? 

It's really hard to analyze main dishes that are described as "curry" or "stir fry" as closely as I did Isagi's natto, but I have some qualitative thoughts. A lot of the micronutrients could easily be boosted by letting Isagi eat some produce, so folks with more produce have a better chance of getting enough vitamins A and C, potassium, fiber, etc.  Those with no protein source, like Igaguri with his pickled radish,  are getting extra fucked on protein.  Isagi’s natto is actually a very bioavailable source of protein and is what’s giving him a LOT of his micronutrients, so switching it for things that are less calorie dense and/ or nutrients dense will hit very hard.  As my final note (for now), there are lots of characters who are much bigger than Isagi.  Bodyweight plays a huge factor in determining caloric needs, so assuming the rice and miso portions stay the same for everyone, others may be getting in even worse calorie deficits (like 188 cm high muscle mass Kunigami).  

In conclusion, shit’s BAD and Ego is just setting everyone up not only to not progress, but also to get hurt.  We knew this, but numbers are fun.  

This got REAL long so if you’re still here THANK YOU! 

sometimes i’m sooooo blown away by the fact that kevin is so smart……. like yes he is the fox with the highest grades despite being also the fox with the tightest training schedule and yes he canonically gets called an obsessive genius and yes the extra content explicitly says he is both very smart and very willing to teach people. but really i am thinking about kevin playing reporters like fiddles, jean calling kevin too good of a liar to ever let anything slip, kevin going up to andrew post-game and wordlessly helping cover up the fact andrew is off his medicine by pretending andrew’s racquet had broken (and then proceeding to discreetly crush it in his hand when the foxes gather around andrew), kevin living a lifetime of walking on the edge of riko’s knife, kevin hiding french, hiding thea, kevin spotting potential from a mile away, kevin who even riko thought was brilliant and sharp-tongued. yeah……..!

since you said it's time to talk numbers, i'd just like to share my estimations re: kevin's time at the nest since i have a timeline of pre-canon events. neil joins the foxes in summer 2006, kevin's birthday is in february. kevin left the nest in december 2005, which would make him 19 at the time, since the second book mentiones he's 20 right before the twins' birthday in november.

neil first met him and riko when neil himself was 10, so kevin was around 12. in the first book it says him and riko wrote the numbers on their faces with markers, tracing them over and over - which would imply their images as the 'sons of exy' was firmly in place and kevin had been there for a while. so based on all that i would guess he was there for at least 9 years in normal time, which would be around 13 years in raven time? something like that. but that's just my calculations :D

omg he left the nest in dec 2005 not 2004 🫢🫢 but yes in that sense if he take it as 9 years at normal time it would be 13.5 years and if we approximate it to him spending 13 years at the nest...guys we've hit another 13 in the nora sakavic universe

so what if kevin's a rich boy slut? his mother would endorse. maybe even encourage

interview with the vampire 2.05 / red dragon (2002) screenplay

Isagi Yoichi: problems with anger expression

Clickbait, right? One would think that what kind of anger expression problems could there be with a guy swearing on the field with war-crime level insults and joyfully bringing a child a few years younger to tears?

The kind where one derives from the the other.

Now, let's figure it out.

To do so, we'll have to go back to Isagi's novel (hoshi801_ translation is used for all of the quotes). From it, we know that Isagi grew up as a quiet and shy child. "He never gets into fights with his friends and never disobeys his teachers."

Nevertheless, it ended quite simply then - thanks to Noa, he learnt how to express his anger and negative feelings. Problem? Only on the football field. The novel says he "was fearless in running into his opponents, as if he had never been a crybaby." 

He was winning, and what he liked best about football - his football, Noa's football - was the beauty of Noa’s playstyle brutality. Because that's what made it an acceptable outlet for him - fighting with friends is bad, arguing with teachers is not allowed - but on the football pitch you are free. You can be angry. Football became his safe space.

Except that then Isagi entered the root of all his troubles - Ichinan.

Even before it, the novel mentioned and emphasised Isagi's inability to express himself. For a while, despite this, his plans worked: the coaches let him play the way he wanted, and he didn't have to come into direct conflict with them.

But that trick didn't work in Ichinan - the dream school suddenly turned out to be somehow strange, and Isagi felt that he wasn't allowed to fulfil his potential here.

But no one on the team was unsatisfied by the current system.

Even before the conversation with the coach where he was ridiculed Isagi had tried to test the waters. Specifically to test - he doesn't say anything outright in fear of being rejected. "Uhm, Tada-kun… don’t you think there’s something wrong with this?" he asks his club mate very cautiously, while in thoughts having more direct “Huh? Am I the only one who thinks that this is ridiculous?”. It's written out separately in the novel that "he watches the expression on Tada's face to see how he'll react" - Isagi already has problems. He's already learnt that he can be rejected if his opinion doesn't coincide with the majority - especially since the conversation wasn't taking place in 'football territory', where he was more or less able to talk straight. 

Having an opinion for Isagi means isolation.

But he still tries one last time - one that finally cracks him up, convincing him that the others know better and he just needs to be patient.

In the novel his friends are "Surprized, seeing the quiet and obedient Isagi talk to the coach" - again, he is used to keeping quiet and not risking. Still, he dares to - and is immediately ridiculed for allegedly trying to "show off". 

And this is what finally kills in him the will to resist. Because losing his friends and football is more terrifying for him than losing himself.

What does the novel says about Isagi after this episode? "He is afraid of being disliked for being assertive", "always timid", "compliant". "When his friends get excited, Isagi would say something like this: “Uh, yeah… me too”."

"He just goes with the flow."

Isagi agrees with Tada's taste in girls, agrees to eat what he doesn't want to, pleases in every way possible just so he won't be abandoned. He obeys the coach's strategy, and even on the field - the only thing that gave him joy and was a safe place for him - he ends up obeying the rules his surroundings have imposed on him.

He doesn't try to argue, he doesn't try to prove anything - he just chooses the safest path, the one where he doesn't do anything and doesn't fight, but he stays safe. Not abandoned.

What's the conclusion?

Isagi doesn't know how to express anger at all. He just hasn't learnt it because he hasn't tried it. And most importantly, doesn't know how to express it correctly.

Why is it necessary (and important) to know how to anger correctly in the first place? The point is that for the mentality anger is a kind of marker that lets us know when our interests are violated and our needs are not satisfied. Which by its presence helps us to build boundaries and achieve what we need. Anger is the power and energy to change an unpleasant world to suit us and achieve our goals.

But Isagi was shamed for showing negative emotions and for any attempt to express himself. He was shown non-verbally that any expression of self and attempt to argue, even just a different opinion would be received grudgingly, that you had to agree on everything, that if you tried to argue you would be rejected and not only that, you would lose the football.

And Isagi tamps down the anger inside himself - he no longer stands up for himself, and holds back the anger to the last, storing it up inside for years.

He develops a ban on anger.

And in general, not just anger - any negative emotion. He is unable to express even the despair of losing to Kira correctly; he tries to suppress it, to muffle it, the novel explicitly states that he attempts to lock it up inside, but in the end, having overflowed, this despair against his will burst out in a scream. Isagi suppresses all negative feelings in general. Aside from the crying part, this repressed anger is evident even in the first chapter, when he imagines the goalkeeper in tears from defeat, and dreams of crushing Kira. Without saying it out loud, though.

And in that 'against his will' lies the main problem of why exactly anger needs to be lived out properly. 

Because otherwise it'll spill out just like that scream - desperate, seething, expansive, and the worst part?

Uncontrollable.

What is the danger of not controlling the expression of anger? Why can't we just hide it inside and keep smiling, without causing anyone problems and without wasting the resources of our body on it, just adjusting? Yes, in doing so you lose your freedom of expression - so what? 

Because anger doesn't disappear over time. It is put inside layer by layer, day by day. 

And sooner or later you can't hold it back.

In life this rarely ends well: if a person holds themselves to a completely unhealthy level of control they may at some point experience an episode of derealisation - when repressed feelings become so abundant that the brain rolls out one of the strongest self-defence mechanisms - detachment. If it doesn't? One goes off the rails: he overreacts to the smallest of things, he is thrown from one-time hook-ups to drugs and alcohol. The accumulated anger begins to destroy from the insides.

But Isagi, as an adaptation specialist (unconsciously, most likely) has come up with a great answer to this, learnt from childhood and from the show with Noel Noa. Which one? Express anger where it would be considered normal.

Blue Lock with on-field swearing works for Isagi for many reasons at once. He got Bachira, who showed him that there's nothing wrong with expressing his angry-self - he'll be accepted, he would even be welcomed, it's okay to be angry! He got Chigiri and Kunigami, Nanase and Hiori, dozens of people accepting him no matter what (but in personal conflicts outside the field he usually still doesn't know how to behave - he prefers to withdraw and wait for things to resolve themselves - but that's for another time). Here, also, the issue of survival came into play, as expressions of anger and rage were cultivated by the Ego itself, sometimes specifically manipulating the players to do so.

There's also the application of the familiar pattern of his pre-Ichinan childhood ('I play football as rough as Noa - I'm doing well, I'm not alone, and I achieve my goals because it happens on the field, so it doesn't mean anything'), the general tense atmosphere, and a fair number of trigger characters who would drive even a saint to their grave (heh, Kaiser, heh). Isagi in general has more to do with football than almost all of Blue Lock's characters. Manifestations of anger and determination as a child (on the football field!)? Noa. Manifestations of them now? Blue Lock. He continues to use mechanisms familiar from childhood to protect himself, adapting them to new realities.

(basically, even the fact that Noa is around - who, again, once gave little Isagi the opportunity to express himself openly on the field - can have an impact on the escalation of Isagi's behaviour around Kaiser and Bastards. Whose presence and support is associated with a safe expression of himself)

like father like son

And uncontrollable anger bursts out, but for now like water from a cracked jug - in jolts, strong and those impossible to shut down, but from just one place. The swearing at the match and the opportunity to openly express himself and his objectives (remember how he shouted at Noa that his system doesn't allow him to score goals hahaha) allowed him to relax, to partially release the anger accumulated over the years - all without any realisation on his part. He doesn't even have to do anything - it all resolved itself. He's not being rejected, he's playing the way he wants to play and yet he's angry! That's great!

And everything seems to be fine, right?

The problem is that Blue Lock's setting just isn't going to work in the long run. Ego will be there for the rest of the project - another 2-3 months - and for training for the World Championship, for the Championship itself, and... that's it. The project ends, Isagi flies off to play in another country, but who can guarantee that the environment for such an expression of anger will be replicated there as well?

At one point, access to the field and, in principle, to the competitive and encouraging environment for such expressions of character in Blue Lock is bound to be cut off. There are gaps between seasons, injuries, end of career, and the simple fact that such expression depends on how much the coach allows to players - at some point Isagi may well be silenced.

And then all the accumulated, bubbling anger inside, which is now used to being expressed regularly, will spill out - and not on the safe field, where much can be blamed on adrenaline, but on his loved ones, his career and himself.

They don't fw each other (they're the same person)

The devil shall respond to the egoistic soul.

Okey HEAR ME OUT! Isagi with double personality in which the white version is his full egoistic persona 🫣 no cauz I'm soo invested on his metavision so much! Like my glorious white haired Isagi 24h on my mind 🫦

kaiser and isagi decided to get along for 5 mins and they've already trash talked the whole pxg team AND bastard munchen too. IN SYNC. they're insufferable I love them

KaisaRinSagiSae on vacation.

in light of recent events (bllk manga 282 - 283. im crazy about them) i wanted to post a part of the rinsagi zombie apocalypse au i was writing for bllk halloweek (and didnt finish. oops)

implied major character death, rinsagi typical freakishness, descriptions of a zombie bite wound. also guns

The zombie bites a huge chunk off Isagi's shoulder.

Rin punctures the zombie in the head with a bullet—feeling rage melt into dread, as Isagi crumples on the floor, clutching his bleeding shoulder with a hand. Blood spills all over it, trickling down and pooling at his elbow, a slow and painful drip, and Rin cannot feel his legs when he rushes to Isagi's side.

"I have you," Rin says, even though he can already spot the signs of Isagi losing himself, the hyperventilating, skin growing cold under Rin's touch. The sweat everywhere.

How everyone keeps leaving; Sae, Bachira, and now—

Rin brings his mouth to Isagi’s wound.

Isagi hisses. “What are you doing, you idiot?”

Rin doesn’t hear, doesn’t care. He sucks as much of Isagi’s blood as he can from the wound, almost drinking it, infection on his tongue, and at some point it gets too much, maybe. He spits it out on the sidewalk beside them.

Isagi groans, back arching, either away from Rin’s mouth or into it—and Rin wishes he was, wishes for vastly different circumstances. Wishes that this wound was one he made. “This won’t work, Rin. It’s an infection. Either kill me now, or run—”

“I’m not letting you turn before me,” Rin says, voice hoarse. There’s blood on his lips. There’s blood in his mouth. “You promised you would kill me. You have to be the one to do it.”

“Didn’t you say—you would, too? Kill me?” Isagi says. "You promised."

Rin closes his eyes, breathing heavily. His mouth hovers over Isagi’s wound. Blood and iron and rot. He imagines Isagi Yoichi, with purple veins and discoloured skin, green and grey and black in places that aren’t supposed to be. Eyes white.

An Isagi less alive. An Isagi less interesting. An Isagi reduced to a lump of mindless flesh.

Rin bites his cheek. “I lied. I can’t do it.” I can’t look at you like that.

“Do you realise what you’re asking of me, then? Rin, get up,” and Isagi pulls on Rin’s hair, even if the strength of it is weakened by the bite. “Get up, Rin! You have a life after me. You have a life beyond me. Live it.” Isagi growls.

“No!” and Rin is startled with how much he means it. Isagi must be too. He’s still beautiful: wide-eyed, despite the wound on his shoulder. Looking at him like biting into a cyanide pill, a heart-stopping brain death.

“If you turn, I turn. That’s my new rule. My new promise.” Rin brings his mouth to Isagi’s wound, lapping at it, ignoring the taste of metal on his tongue. Urging everything into his bloodstream. Wants to cauterise the wound with his own tongue. Wants to be burnt by him. These are the things that have made him stronger, before—wanting to have an effect on Isagi, wanting to be affected by Isagi. These are the things that will be his undoing.

There’s a hand in Rin’s hair, gently stroking, and then pulling him up into a kiss. Isagi heaves a heavy sigh, and Rin captures the feeling of life on his lips. Blood and saliva—Isagi licks into his mouth, like trying to clear Rin of the infection. Salvation. Once, Rin had wished for something like this: for someone to save him.

Rin feels Isagi push cold metal into his palm, and then guide his hand to the side of his temple. Isagi’s hands are cold and wet with blood and rotting. It’s hard to swallow.

“Close your eyes,” he hears Isagi whisper. His face is so close, flushed and pale at the same time, and Rin desires to commit it to memory. “It’s like you’re simply teaching me how to aim. Remember?”

The things Rin has seen of zombies—of humans, turning, that moments before it they turn delirious. Manic, even. And Isagi is here, purpling veins, cold sweat, bleeding, and still coherent, if to just tell Rin to kill him.

It's that easy, Rin hears himself say in a memory, revolver in hand—Isagi's, Rin remembers—before it became his. The makeshift target infront of them with a bullet through the head. What Rin means, now: It's that so easy to lose someone.

Maybe Isagi closes his eyes. Rin wouldn't know, because he's closed his too.

The gunshot that follows is the most deafening sound for miles.