in light of recent events (bllk manga 282 - 283. im crazy about them) i wanted to post a part of the rinsagi zombie apocalypse au i was writing for bllk halloweek (and didnt finish. oops)
implied major character death, rinsagi typical freakishness, descriptions of a zombie bite wound. also guns
The zombie bites a huge chunk off Isagi's shoulder.
Rin punctures the zombie in the head with a bullet—feeling rage melt into dread, as Isagi crumples on the floor, clutching his bleeding shoulder with a hand. Blood spills all over it, trickling down and pooling at his elbow, a slow and painful drip, and Rin cannot feel his legs when he rushes to Isagi's side.
"I have you," Rin says, even though he can already spot the signs of Isagi losing himself, the hyperventilating, skin growing cold under Rin's touch. The sweat everywhere.
How everyone keeps leaving; Sae, Bachira, and now—
Rin brings his mouth to Isagi’s wound.
Isagi hisses. “What are you doing, you idiot?”
Rin doesn’t hear, doesn’t care. He sucks as much of Isagi’s blood as he can from the wound, almost drinking it, infection on his tongue, and at some point it gets too much, maybe. He spits it out on the sidewalk beside them.
Isagi groans, back arching, either away from Rin’s mouth or into it—and Rin wishes he was, wishes for vastly different circumstances. Wishes that this wound was one he made. “This won’t work, Rin. It’s an infection. Either kill me now, or run—”
“I’m not letting you turn before me,” Rin says, voice hoarse. There’s blood on his lips. There’s blood in his mouth. “You promised you would kill me. You have to be the one to do it.”
“Didn’t you say—you would, too? Kill me?” Isagi says. "You promised."
Rin closes his eyes, breathing heavily. His mouth hovers over Isagi’s wound. Blood and iron and rot. He imagines Isagi Yoichi, with purple veins and discoloured skin, green and grey and black in places that aren’t supposed to be. Eyes white.
An Isagi less alive. An Isagi less interesting. An Isagi reduced to a lump of mindless flesh.
Rin bites his cheek. “I lied. I can’t do it.” I can’t look at you like that.
“Do you realise what you’re asking of me, then? Rin, get up,” and Isagi pulls on Rin’s hair, even if the strength of it is weakened by the bite. “Get up, Rin! You have a life after me. You have a life beyond me. Live it.” Isagi growls.
“No!” and Rin is startled with how much he means it. Isagi must be too. He’s still beautiful: wide-eyed, despite the wound on his shoulder. Looking at him like biting into a cyanide pill, a heart-stopping brain death.
“If you turn, I turn. That’s my new rule. My new promise.” Rin brings his mouth to Isagi’s wound, lapping at it, ignoring the taste of metal on his tongue. Urging everything into his bloodstream. Wants to cauterise the wound with his own tongue. Wants to be burnt by him. These are the things that have made him stronger, before—wanting to have an effect on Isagi, wanting to be affected by Isagi. These are the things that will be his undoing.
There’s a hand in Rin’s hair, gently stroking, and then pulling him up into a kiss. Isagi heaves a heavy sigh, and Rin captures the feeling of life on his lips. Blood and saliva—Isagi licks into his mouth, like trying to clear Rin of the infection. Salvation. Once, Rin had wished for something like this: for someone to save him.
Rin feels Isagi push cold metal into his palm, and then guide his hand to the side of his temple. Isagi’s hands are cold and wet with blood and rotting. It’s hard to swallow.
“Close your eyes,” he hears Isagi whisper. His face is so close, flushed and pale at the same time, and Rin desires to commit it to memory. “It’s like you’re simply teaching me how to aim. Remember?”
The things Rin has seen of zombies—of humans, turning, that moments before it they turn delirious. Manic, even. And Isagi is here, purpling veins, cold sweat, bleeding, and still coherent, if to just tell Rin to kill him.
It's that easy, Rin hears himself say in a memory, revolver in hand—Isagi's, Rin remembers—before it became his. The makeshift target infront of them with a bullet through the head. What Rin means, now: It's that so easy to lose someone.
Maybe Isagi closes his eyes. Rin wouldn't know, because he's closed his too.
The gunshot that follows is the most deafening sound for miles.
kevin had seen worse
kevin had seen worse
kevin had seen worse
mannn i love this sm
TW: ABUSE, CHILD ABUSE
“He wants to air this dirty laundry to the world does he…? Dabi, you fiend…you’ve been waiting for this moment…when they couldn’t prevent mass destruction…and faith in heroes is wavering.” - chapter 292
I truly, wholeheartedly, believe that MHA as a story upholds the myth of the perfect victim. I do not want to discuss if Horikoshi did that on purpose, or subconsciously because of inner bias – I find no meaning in doing so. For me the execution of an idea, in the grand scheme of the narrative, holds more value than the intention of the author. I’ve also had my fair share of people infantilizing Asian authors in the anime community for their poor writing decisions for one lifetime. It’s patronizing to both the author and the people reading it. Whether or not Horikoshi intended for his themes of abuse to paint the picture they did does not matter, because that’s how it reads as.
MHA puts victims of abuse in narrow boxes and softly dictates what’s an acceptable reaction to said abuse. Victims are continuously walking a tightrope between being deserving of compassion and sympathy and being unredeemable monsters who are too far gone and are only good for martyrdom after being put down.
Eri fits the clean cut depiction of abuse victims that media usually gears towards. She is untouched by the cruelty around her - she preserves her innocence and kindness. She isn't assertive, but rather meek and passive. She doesn't fight back with force. And when offered help, she is receptive to it. That is not to say that Eri's depiction doesn't have a place in fiction, or that her portrayal can't be representative of the experiences of some - as we all deal with trauma and the inhumanity people throw at us differently. We see the same thing in the portrayal of Fuyumi, who shares many of the qualities discussed above. The same thing applies to her - i personally love the idea of all the siblings having different reaction to their childhood trauma and abuse. It shows that victims are not some type of monolith.
But the narrative treats the "forgiving" or "receptive to help/support" victims of abuse with more grace and with much more kindness. if you are willing to forgive, or the very least be quietly tolerant, the story grants you a happy ending. Forgiveness isn't a bad thing, it is an individual choice - but an abuse victim shouldn't have to do it for them to have a happy ending.
In a vacuum Eri and Fuyumi's character arcs and depictions of abuse are good but it becomes a problem when that's the only experience and type of victim we ever hold in high value or recognize as valid and deserving of compassion. Which the story reinforces.
Touya and Tenko's backstories aren't pretty nor comfortable or easy to sit through. Their responses to abuse aren't either. Reactive abuse is very much real.
Thinking about how we never saw Tiger Funeral, the only Ten Shadows Shikigami that's never been shown, and how it was only mentioned when Sukuna created Agito using Nue, Tiger, Serpent, and Deer.
There's:
Divine Dogs
Nue
Toad
Great Serpent
Max Elephant
Rabbit Escape
Round Deer
Piercing Ox
[Tiger Funeral]
Mahoraga
Hope it makes an appearance some day in the future 🥲
i am haunted by the character of nakahara chuuya. knowing there was a life before becoming a monster but not remembering it. questioning if you were always like this or you were made into this. trying to find a piece of the self that doesn't crawl to violence. being good despite all the odds. being good despite the self. being good in this twisted way because nobody believes youre capable of that anyway. not recognizing oneself as human but wanting it. violence and pain being the only thing you know. because even knowing that there was something before it doesn't change at all, you are what you are because the thing, the rage, the pain, within you, and thinking that taking this part away from you might just take all of you as well.
there must be more than blood by car seat headrest is a touya song btw. nervous like a wild dog waiting for the attack. you go back to the old house but you've been locked out and it wasn't for love that you went back home. they had all of your life to get it right they had all of that time just to change their minds. how could they treat you like a forgotten card? dear dad, I'm sorry thank you very much. what difference does it make when they throw you away?
this is like 9/11 to me
kevin day is like. he's a child star. he's experienced an incomprehensible amount of labor abuse and inhumane working conditions. he was taken from his home country by a close relative with bad intentions. he's a cult baby. he grew up in captivity underground. every bad thing that could happen to a human being has happened to him at some point. he is happier than most of us when he can kick a ball for a living.
Kevin Day pov fic rec list that no one asked for but I’m gonna make cuz I’ve been really feeling the Kevin Day brainrot lately
Canon and post-canon:
how will i know (when it’s gonna come back round?) by nebulousviolet
Neil says something to Andrew – Kevin doesn’t catch it, too busy gathering his things, but what he does catch is the look Allison gives Matt, and the way Matt’s eyebrows knit together in response.
And Neil – Neil doesn’t say anything to Kevin. Later, Kevin will wonder why. Later, Kevin will wonder if there was even anything to say.
The 1st half of Baltimore from Kevin’s pov
biting down by pipe_dream
kevin learns that in order to understand something, you have to allow yourself to learn, and talks to andrew about neil.
Good Kevin and Andrew friendship content
Proof of Life by mostly_maudlin/ @mostlymaudlin
Realistically, Kevin knows he is safe now. No one is after him anymore. No one is plotting to drag him down into the hole he’s clawed out of. He has people who will fight to keep it this way.
A morning in the life of Kevin Day, 10/10 characterization all around here
202607 by abramdeath/ @abramdeath
The Olympics and his life collide into one. Kevin is just trying to win gold with the people he trusts most in the world.
(or, a roulette of dreaming with your eyes open, loving too hard, and winning.)
Kevin has a sports anime flashback moment at the Olympics
Au:
Signs Of Life by moonix/ @annawrites
In which Kevin works the graveyard shift, Andrew is the witching hour cryptid, and Neil guards the ice-cream freezer.
Kevin works at a convenience store and gets befriended by his two strangest customers
Fuck Riko: The Musical by justwhatialwayswanted/ @birlwrites
“Okay, but we still need a show,” Dan says. “A very cheap one.”
“Andrew,” Aaron says.
“No,” Andrew says.
“You didn’t even wait for me to ask my question.”
“I know what you’re going to ask, and it’s a stupid idea.”
Neil looks back and forth between them and says, “But it would make Riko so mad. You could write him out of the show.”
“Fuck.” Andrew sighs. “I don’t know anything about music.”
“I do,” Jean says, so quietly that for a second Kevin thinks he’s imagined it.
“Just to be totally clear,” Nicky says. “Are we talking about Andrew and Jean writing us a musical?”
*
or: What happens if you piss off every other theater kid in your very insular theater kid friend group?
If you’re Riko Moriyama, they write and perform an entire musical as revenge.
Absolutely unhinged theater kid au