Subtitles Should Be On Automatically. People Who Don’t Want Them Should Have To Turn Them Off

I guess today is “let’s not respond to me” Yeah okay that’s fine too

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You know what really makes you feel awful? Getting ignored. Everywhere. I know that my friends tend to easily get side-tracked but whenever they actually have a conversation I get ignored. I joined a server recently and I get ignored there too. *sigh* just kinda feels like I can’t get a break, you know? Since I have problems venting to people too, I do it here cause a) no one sees it and b) twitter is an asshole for having a character limit. Does anyone else feel ignored? It sucks, I know. Feel free to talk to me if you feel that way. I dont want other people feeling ignored.

Being ignored by someone who means everything to you is the worst feeling ever and I can feel that shit right now.

Literally cannot emphasize enough that my #1 writing advice is to stop being afraid. Stop being afraid of sounding too cringe, or too stupid, or too horrifying, or too horny, or too weird, or too much, or too little, or too you. You need to put your entire pussy into your art. Sure, it won't be to everyone's tastes, but if you keep yourself to the blandest tamest safest roads possible you will be of no one's tastes, not even yours.

It's so lonely and alienating, to be the person that doesn't have friends. I try to be friends with people, i see people i think it would be cool to have them as friends, and although from the outside it seems like we're friends. We talk, do projects together in school and stuff, it's only because I seek them out, if I don't talk to them and don't put out the first step always, they just let me fade into the background. I seek out their friendship, but they don't seek out mine, they seek out each others and I'm just there. I SoSoSo deeply wish to meet that person who will seek out me, who sees me and in the same way I think, they think "they looks nice, I would like to be their friend, I wonder what they think" and put out the first step, make the first effort and mutually continue the effort. Because I'm tired, I'm hallow, my throat is closing up, I don't want to make the first step anymore, i made the first step my whole life, when is someone make it towards me, when do I find that person who sees me.

The urge to fall back into all of my bad habits because i am too tired and they feel familiar.

You might have disappointed some people; this doesn’t mean you are a disappointment.

you might not have have met some people’s needs; this doesn’t mean you are a failure.

you might not have received the love you needed; this doesn’t mean you are unlovable. just because you did not meet other people’s expectations doesn’t mean you are fundamentally flawed or a waste of space. You are a human who is growing and learning and trying again.

It's the insecurities about ourselves that make us look for confirmation of our own worth, lovability and general validation on the outside, in others. It's cause we probably never felt appreciated or validated as a person or human being, but we had to prove our worth somehow (maybe through good grades or behaviours).

But we need to take control of this and start realizing that we can validate ourselves. That we are humans and therefore worthy of love and appreciation despite anything else our mind and upbringing or any other issue that may have arised, want us to believe.

It's all inside of us since the first day we were born. We have nothing to prove to anyone. We don't have to reach any specific or particular goal in order to be deserving of love. We're already deserving. It's our natal right.

I just had a small epiphany why you might like other people's art more than your own:

It's the lack of suspension of disbelief.

When you see something someone else has drawn or painted, you take in the content faster than you take in the technical aspects. You experience it as pseudo-real, the same way you stop perceiving animated characters as drawn or book characters as written as you get into the story.

On the other hand, when you yourself have made something, all you see is the machine behind the theater, so to speak. You're probably thinking about lines, shading, coloring in a "does this make sense? Is this the best decision I could have made?"-kind of way.

I think that's also why sometimes, pictures you haven't looked at for a long time starts looking nice to you again, à la: "Hey past-me was unto something! Why can't I replicate it nowadays?". It's probably specifically because you've forgotten the process of making it that you are now seeing it with fresh eyes.

Art is an illusion, but a magician has a hard time tricking themself. So don't be so hard on yourself: it's probably just that you can't see the magic right now, but that doesn't mean it's not there.