The Sad Thing Is I'm Always Resting But I Never Feel Rested

Confession: When I first try to RP with somebody I'll send a starter and if they don't reply (they're busy or something) I'll try sending a couple more, but if they don't reply to those I'll get embarrassed, assume they find my muse annoying, and never talk to them again because I feel inadequate.

Why don’t you try sending them a message asking if they got the starter or not or if they’d prefer to plot? 

There’s a new trend I’ve seen of roleplayers saying they won’t answer starters. Some people don’t even track their tags anymore. Check and see if a roleplayer mentions that in their rules page anywhere before sending them starters.

Also, some folks might feel a little crowded by your method, as you keep sending them starters it might seem pushy or invasive to them. The same goes for if you repeatedly post the same one to them.

Really the best thing to do in most of these cases is to send them a message. But no matter what there’s no reason to feel inadequate. If they’re the ones ignoring you then it’s their lose.  

If you have ever wondered what others would rate your looks out of 10 or what number you actually are, you have fallen victim to a sexist, abusive, opressive, objectivized mind fuck that is so harmful and laughable at the same time. Screw all of that, you are so cute. You are so pretty and attractive. You're the cutest cutiepie that ever walked earth.

i wish my brain didn't do that thing where i do something that annoys someone i care about and it gets paranoid that it's going to destroy our relationship

x

It's the insecurities about ourselves that make us look for confirmation of our own worth, lovability and general validation on the outside, in others. It's cause we probably never felt appreciated or validated as a person or human being, but we had to prove our worth somehow (maybe through good grades or behaviours).

But we need to take control of this and start realizing that we can validate ourselves. That we are humans and therefore worthy of love and appreciation despite anything else our mind and upbringing or any other issue that may have arised, want us to believe.

It's all inside of us since the first day we were born. We have nothing to prove to anyone. We don't have to reach any specific or particular goal in order to be deserving of love. We're already deserving. It's our natal right.

“It’s unfortunate that we live in such a technologically consumed world that when we try to sincerely speak we get tuned out because people are so tuned in to their devices.”

— -m.b. justalittlewildflower

The urge to fall back into all of my bad habits because i am too tired and they feel familiar.

If you're used to not having your needs met or not having your dreams/desires fulfilled, it's very likely that everytime you wish for something you don't belive it will ever happen to you. Maybe to others, but not to you. It has a lot to do with having been taught (even unconsciously, by always having been told "no") that you're not good enough to have what you want or wish for or need.

But that's not the reality of things. You're worthy, at least to try and believe you can have it. Maybe you won't have it all or you'll have something it in a different form (not everything is made for us and not is the way we wish it to be) but you are totally worth enough to allow yourself to try your best and get it. Life will let you know what it really is for you but don't stop yourself before even trying. Don't ever see not making it as a failure or as a confirmation of your unworthiness: that is not what it is about. Maybe you cannot have one thing but you'll have another (the same way you probably weren't good in math at school but were amazing in PE: it depends, it doesn't mean you're not worthy or lovable). You deserve to gift this chance to yourself. Try to believe a bit more: at least you will be able to say you have tried and sooner or later you'll finally have what you want. It's a matter of building trust, hope and believe in your own worth first and foremost: practice will make it better.

apologies for the shitty screenshot + repost from r/philosophymemes but YEAH and I love the way this is worded