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I Need To Shut Up - Blog Posts
More train than dragon but I fold, metro train from the DC area cause public transit is cool
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Saturday, March 22nd 2025 "trauma"
I said this yesterday, but I need a lobotomy. I wish I could start from a clean slate. I reflect a lot and I still don't know why I'm like this. Therapy, antidepressants, etc...what's the point? I wonder what it would be like to just wake up and be a different person, is it possible? It truly feels like I am not meant to be here. Is life a endless cycle of finding coping mechanisms? Living shouldn't have to require an endless lists of coping strategies, all of this work to just manage living. I don't want to die, but being alive is exhausting.
I'm tired of feeling like a victim. I have power and can simply do what I want, but I feel like a retard that doesn't know what to do. Trying to move on from childhood trauma as an adult is embarrassing. I don't wanna feel horrible anymore.
Current list of life goals: Get skinny, be happy with myself, stop feeling depressed.
My grandma yelled at me and called me stupid yesterday. I made a mistake I'm super mad at myself about. Feel like I can't function properly. Maybe I should embrace being a stupid bimbo.
