cherryc0lal1m3

Latest Posts by cherryc0lal1m3

Henry, come on

Let me bleed for you like Jesus bled for me

Monday, March 31st, 2025

Hi sorry for not writing any blog posts, I'm really depressed lol.

Hmmm I'm gonna make an April in's and out's list

In:

90s music, black combat boots, floral scents, white bedding, vanilla lattes, wearing tights, scrapbooking, history documentaries, keychains, claw clips, tote bags

Outs:

Hoka gym shoes, gymshark brand clothes, hot coffee, the color orange, Taylor Swift, choker necklaces, buying overpriced things you can't afford

I'm really into music right now, I kinda just listen to music and do schoolwork all day. It isn't the worst thing ever. I value the time I've spent with my friends lately. Last night, my best friend and I watched a movie yesterday and ate gyros. My last midterm of the semester is tomorrow. My friend and I picked our dorm for next year, we have a lake view which will be nice. The medieval times trip was fun, the food was actually pretty decent, and the show was entertaining. I was super tired after that trip though.

I've been feeling tired constantly, no matter how long I sleep. I'm eating balanced meals, taking walks, and practicing self care, so I can't think of a reason why I feel so tired. Maybe I will feel better once midterms are over. I must admit, I have been anxious and I think about the future a lot, and worry about things I need to do. I am constantly building a schedule in my brain. So many things to do, so little time.

She's the angel on top of the tree

Sugar heart, here she comes

She's goin' to fall on me

angel

I want the imaginary man I made up in my head to give me cigarette burns and make fun of me when I cry because it hurts

Saturday, March 22nd 2025 "trauma"

I said this yesterday, but I need a lobotomy. I wish I could start from a clean slate. I reflect a lot and I still don't know why I'm like this. Therapy, antidepressants, etc...what's the point? I wonder what it would be like to just wake up and be a different person, is it possible? It truly feels like I am not meant to be here. Is life a endless cycle of finding coping mechanisms? Living shouldn't have to require an endless lists of coping strategies, all of this work to just manage living. I don't want to die, but being alive is exhausting.

I'm tired of feeling like a victim. I have power and can simply do what I want, but I feel like a retard that doesn't know what to do. Trying to move on from childhood trauma as an adult is embarrassing. I don't wanna feel horrible anymore.

Current list of life goals: Get skinny, be happy with myself, stop feeling depressed.

My grandma yelled at me and called me stupid yesterday. I made a mistake I'm super mad at myself about. Feel like I can't function properly. Maybe I should embrace being a stupid bimbo.

— David Cronenberg, Consumed

I need a lobotomy

not my image, credit to @/HasnaKrib on pinterest <3

Thursday, March 19th 2025 "Reminiscing the old coquette community"

How do we feel about this font? I think it's okay, maybe I will use it for future blog posts.

This post might be hard to understand if you're younger or weren't active on tumblr at the time. I started using tumblr in 2019, when I was in 8th grade. Tumblr was the go to place for girls with eds. My best friend at the time also had an ed tumblr. It was pretty common.

Tumblr was how I discovered the coquette/nymphette aesthetic. Nymphette was the more common term at the time. The community seemed different from what it is now. Coquette wasn't just the color pink and bows; it was an aesthetic with many colors and was more vintage Americana-themed. Nowadays, coquette is more dollette. There's nothing wrong with that, but it feels different. Most people in the community bonded over their love for Lana Del Rey, and we romanticized Lolita. Lizzy Grant Summer and Key West Kitten were super popular in 2021; that was a time I remember very vividly. Listening to florida kilos was a daily activity (still is tbh). Wearing heart-shaped sunglasses and wearing gingham print was so fun. Fourth of July 2021, I listened to national anthem in the car on the way to a rural Wisconsin town. What a time to be a teenager.

That time in my life made me the person I am today. There were negative consequences of being in the community, such as being exposed to the older men who wanted to groom you, but all of those experiences made me who I am.

I miss my prime (2019)

. ۫ ꣑ৎ .

I'm such a sweet girl, why make me act like my dad?

🍒

baby blues.

you know how i like

that celebrity type

lasso 𐚁⋆｡˚ ⋆

Wednesday, March 19th 2025 "Migraines And Midterms"

Yesterday was a day that really made me want to end it (don't take me seriously). I suppose I'm doing okay; I'm just tired and stressed. I'm a person who has a hard time dealing with stress, and one once of them makes me have a breakdown. Probably not healthy at all.

Today I had a written midterm for my Japanese class, and the speaking midterm is on Friday. It's mostly just memorization, but it's still challenging.

I met my friend for dinner yesterday. We played baldurs gate :) I like the custom character I made for our playthrough. She's a half-elve rogue. Tonight we're going to buy tickets for a school trip to medieval times.

That's really all I have to write about right now. I really want to start writing about certain topics instead of just venting. Feel free to suggest topics or ask questions.