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Anxeity - Blog Posts
I need someone who will do this
Imagine a magical modern world where everyones ability is to manifest their personality/mental state/subconscious into a physical thing, and scientists find that theres a pattern within manifestations that allows doctors to diagnose people with a simple examination of their manifestation.
Trigger warning
And everything im about to list off would be traits if their abilities, not the actual abilities themselves
They stack, but are as powerful as the impact they have on the user
Narcs' manifestation would probably have something to do with themselves, or having themselves as the center
DID would probs be the ability to manifest multiple small/weak/incomplete symbolic (or not) things representing their alters or a single materialization of something cracked/split (necromancer except they bring to life their alters)
Id imagine depression would involve an ability with the perk to draw people in, like a siren
Anxiety would involve something to do with an unnerving type sensation, sounds, vibrations, disruptions, the sense of slowed or sped up time
Bipolar, a changing, fast, or sudden type ability
Ptsd/cptsd would probably have a flashing, sudden, or jarring type ability
Schizophrenia would be hallucinogenic, (that one spiderman scene from homecoming with that bastard man showing spidey things that arent real), aoe tyoe ability
Ocd maybe would have something to do with controllingness, intrusive/invasive actions (the itrusive thoughts in ocd becomes the premise of what happens to who ever their using their ability against? Idk ocd that well)
Phobias - depending on the phobia, the way you'd deal with what your afraid of being your ability. Arachnophobia - your ability being pest amd spider resiliant, agoraphobia - your ability having something to do with being able to hide somewhere safe that youve made (small portable inner world? Invisibility??)
ED; makes the person feel the opposite of their disorder (if the user has binge eating issues, then their power would make others feel empty/hungry/hollow; anorexia or restrictive would be like overwhelming the sense with a feeling of fullness, stuffiness, claustrophobia; etc)
Disassociative having something to do with an incredible europhoric/dream feeling or with an incredibly grounding, kind of like "oh yea i just remembered my entire life situation and cant escape" type feeling
ADHD either has something to do with the inability to have others activate their powers, control them well, or consistantly.
Addiction/substance abuse would be kind of like the helplessness, constant incessant need for something, anxiety, etc
“sorry haha, i was just seeking attention.”
GAD
GAD = Your Brain : So in general, fuck you.
When I joined tumblr and found out that I am able to post, I thougt my social anxiety would go away because i'm behind a screen. Well...that's not really the case...
Health anxiety sucks because
You know what I changed my mind I’m not elaborating. Health anxiety sucks. That’s it, that’s the tweet.
having adhd and anxiety at the same time is so overwhelming bc i constantly have like 6-10 trains of thought going on at the same time and sometimes I just want my brain to be quiet but then i start thinking about how I want my brain to be quiet and that just ads another train of thought
I hate having an anxiety disorder.
I've been getting increasingly worried about a collection of symptoms that I have been developing this past week.
Just figured out that it's Hayfever.
The thing that has happened every year
For over three decades
My brain did not get the memo apparently
fear of abandonment? abandon them first.
abandon them first :)
Thoughts
Memories are popping like zombies from a movie.
Ready to fight and unsure if I'm ready to die.
Doubts ready to devour me like the undead.
Ready to fight and unsure if I'm ready to die.
Fear filling me as I pretend I'm fine.
Ready to fight and unsure if I'm ready to die.
Grabbing any and all the weapons I can so I can be a hero of my own story.
I need to out of this school.
There's nothing worth stressing over when there's only one month and a half left. These past few weeks I've been going nowhere, especially after getting a night shift job at Dollar Tree. "A job's a job, there's will be lazy ä$$hats galore so you gotta deal with it." But I'm sick of that motto. I'm sick of my dad saying this same degrading shït over and over again. I'm sick of these fūçkwåds at school being overdramatic anytime I walk past them cuz I got acne (aka ugly) and ig I stink now (yes. I'm self conscious abt that and figuring out how to stop it). And I physically, mentally, and emotionally can't deal with this. Say what u want. I can brush this crap off but for how long? It's draining and exhausting. Just like how ppl don't like me and can't deal me, I can't deal with them. But ig I'm the problem when I say that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Time for me to get personal, these past two months are some of the worst months in my four years of high-school. Hell not even that, all of my four years were shitty. Freshman year was trashy, I dont remember anything from Sophmore year (thx c0víd), Junior year was just... no, and now my Senior year is already off to a bad start. And on top of that, my urge to meet new ppl is hanuting me again. Like I definitely show signs of social anxiety (although I don't wanna self diagnose myself) and for my entire life, meeting new people is a struggle. And no not the "I hAtE tALkiNG tO lArGe CrOwDs" or "I HaTe pEoPLe" shit. I actually mean I physically cannot talk to people, whether it's a large or small group. Fuck I can't talk to another person unless they do it first, and even then I can't hold a convo for more than three seconds. And don't get me started with crushes. Never had a significant other. Ever. And the last time I caught feelings, he thought I was a creep. I'm literally months away from being legal and if I cannot talk to or ask people abt anything then this'll be the death of me.
Definitely not my best work for sure but its something I guess. Lol.
My Batman line Art in Pen.
Some are young rocks, arrows, spears, barrettes and jackhammers cant penetrate throw them. Opposite, lies the intricates the roses of this world the fragiles. For people like these it needs not much, a word, a gaze or silence and everything is shuttered.
Having anxiety means always aiming the A/C near your steering wheel at your hands cause they’re always sweaty
Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety
If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you
If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
People are allowed to be wrong about you
If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect
Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it
The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something
You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it
Most things are better after you sleep on them
Most things are better after you have a meal
Most things are better after you shower
Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"
If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction
If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction
"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier
If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two
You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction
When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery
People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves
If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it
If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable
If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it
If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it
Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step
Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary
If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike
Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP
No one cares what you look like
If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"
People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company
You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you
If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly
You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will
Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable
Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it
Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier
And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
I was practicing meditation last night and mentally traveled back to my childhood library. Upon waking up I obviously had to spend all morning googling and trying to find it because of how comforting those memories are for me. Unfortunately it’s a 9 hour drive to get there from where I currently live, but I was able to live vicariously through pictures and memories!
This lovely breakfast (that may or may not have at least a centimeter of cream cheese per bagel) really lifted my spirits after having (unemployed) anxious thoughts🕯💗
Today’s topic is my fucking abandonment and daddy issues. Because I’ve been fucking crying all day over literally nothing. Thanks mental illness.
So many people think anxiety is just being shy and nervous.
No. Anxiety is thinking the person you love the most hates you out of the fucking blue. It’s thinking everyone secretly can’t stand you. It’s feeling like you’re dying when all you’re trying to do is order food, it’s crying over seemingly nothing. Having a break down because something doesn’t feel right. I hate having anxiety it’s a mother fucking monster.