Akaashi Angst - Blog Posts

akaashi cheater au :( with the song rose by jereena montemayor pls pls make it super angsty 🥺🥺

Rose of Thorns (Akaashi x Reader)

*GIF not mine*

Summary: Akaashi was much like a rose. He was beautiful, soft and enchanting. But he also had many undeniable thorns. (Based on “Rose” by Jereena Montemayor)

A/N: I’m really sorry I waited so long on this request!! I just haven’t been in the mood to write angst in a while, but I swear I’m working on it! Also, I should’ve focused on the cheating aspect in this fic, but eh. I tried. Mega angst, so watch out. Side note: good lordy that song put me in my feels GODDAMN! Hope you like it!

Word count: 1285

        You loved him.

        You loved him so much. 

        But you knew what was happening too. 

        He was drifting away from you, bit by bit. Every day, he seemed a little more out of it with you. A little less passionate with his words. A little less adoring with his eyes. 

        They were filled with more guilt than anything. 

        Every time you kissed him, told him you loved him, hugged him after a long day, his responses always seemed a bit slower than the time before. He was slipping through your fingertips day by day, but you didn’t want to lose him. 

        It started with a kiss, as it always does.

        Akaashi’s team won the game, and after lining up to shake the other team’s hand, Akaashi’s eyes skimmed the crowd. You were smiling and cheering and waving at him, but they didn’t reach you. 

        No, instead they stopped on another. She was beautiful too. Her hair looked softer than yours. Her legs were longer, more slim and toned. Her large eyes were enchanting as well, even you yourself could understand how one could get lost in them. 

        You didn’t know her name, all you knew was the pain that stabbed through your heart. Every beat seemed to drain you of life. 

        Oh.

        Then Akaashi’s eyes finally drifted to you in the crowd, and the blue orbs were pouring with guilt as you made your way down to him. 

        Like normal, you hugged him and smiled, muttering a congratulations. But it was all lifeless and soft. He knew you had seen it, and his face seemed to twitch nervously. 

        Akaashi was always composed and calm, so maybe that was how he recovered from the shock so quickly. His hands soon cupped your cheeks, and a gentle, loving smile soon encompassed his face, causing you to instinctively relax and return the gesture. 

        He leaned in and pressed his lips to yours. 

        Oh God. 

        It hurt so much to feel how little passion was in it. By definition, it was a kiss, but you knew it was so much more. It was a brush of lips, so light and compulsory, like an obligation to keep up a lie. 

        “I love you.” The words tickled your lips thanks to his proximity. His thumbs caressed the tips of your cheeks gently while he leaned his forehead against yours and stared into your doting gaze. 

        “I love you too.”

                                ~~~

        A rose sat on your desk in your room. Homework laid forgotten underneath it, and you hugged your knees to your chest and wept. 

        Your eyes hadn’t left the flower once. Like Akaashi, it was beautiful, gentle and soft. But thorns ran along the stem like vicious pricks of reality. 

        He was the one who had given it to you too. After all, it was Valentine’s Day. But where was he? 

        Doing homework, stuck at practice with Bokuto, spending time with his family. Any number of the excuses he had texted you in the past few days. 

        God, I love him so much.

        Of course you didn’t want to. Who wanted to be in love with a cheater?

        With an outstretched hand, you shakily picked up the rose, careful to avoid the thorns. One pricked you anyways, no matter how much you thought you avoided it, but you only whimpered at the pain. You didn’t drop the rose. 

        You held it closer to your face, finding small waves of comfort in its flowery scent. The rose was alluring, spirals of petals enticing you to come closer, to embrace the soft touch of each blood red petal. 

        But at the end of the day, it was just a rose. 

        Your phone buzzed, but it was just one of your friends in a group chat. No, nobody was talking to you personally. Your boyfriend was somewhere else, with only the physical, basic show of affection left in your hands to remind you of him. 

        The screen lit up your dim bedroom and stung your bloodshot eyes. And the background picture came clearer as the notification finally faded. 

        It was you and Akaashi. You were draped over his shoulders with a large smile on your face, beaming like the sun. His eyes were rolling at the dramatic act, but a hint of a grin was displayed through an upturned corner of the mouth. Adoring. That’s what he was. 

        Was. 

        Gulping, you grasped the phone in one hand and opened it, entering your photos. All of it was there. Pictures from the beginning of your relationship all the way to the end were in albums, dating back a year. 

        You clicked on the very first one that held him. 

        Akaashi was holding a sign, his cheeks burning bright red. One of his arms was draped around your shoulders, and your own were wrapped around his waist in a tight hug. His gaze was locked on you, but you were smiling brightly at the camera. He had asked you to prom, and you distantly remember your first dance. 

        “You look gorgeous.” 

        You hadn’t felt like you did until that moment. Until that beautiful man himself looked you in the eyes and truthfully told you how captivating you were. Nobody had ever told you that before….

        Pluck. 

        Tears trailed slowly down your cheeks as you slowly dropped the petal into the trash can beside you. Knees wobbling, you relocated to your bed and sat criss-crossed on the mattress. You set your phone in your lap and held the rose in your hands. 

        The bedroom was cold. You almost shivered, your tank top and sleeping shorts barely keeping you warm, but it almost didn’t bother you. At least, you weren’t distracted by it. 

        Your phone screen lit up your whole room with another picture as you swiped your finger along. 

        Akaashi was pecking your cheek while you hugged him tightly after winning a volleyball game. 

        Pluck.

        Akaashi was kissing you in the rain after your one month anniversary. A new necklace glittered around your neck, the one currently sitting at the bottom of your trash bin. 

        Pluck.

        Akaashi was trapping you tightly against his side, holding you under an umbrella and affectionately scolding you about not wearing warmer clothes. You were wearing his sweatshirt. The one that still sat in your closet, waiting to be washed even though you cherished the scent it held. 

        Pluck.

        Akaashi was staring at you in amazement as you stepped down the stairs in a floor length dress. Heels made your legs seem endless, and they only appeared every couple steps thanks to a sultry cut on one side of the skirt. “I don’t deserve you, angel” he had mumbled against your lips.

        Pluck.

        Akaashi.

        Pluck.

        Akaashi.

        Pluck. 

        Pluck. 

        Pluck.  

*Are you sure you want to delete these 105 photos? This action cannot be undone.*

*105 photos deleted.*

        Maroon petals littered your bed. You tossed the bare rose stem into the trash can, now only consisting of green thorns. 

        Your cheeks were damp and your eyes felt heavy and tired. 

        I loved him so much. 

        You only had one thing left to do. 

You: We need to talk. 

*Message sent*

omg 🥺 this broke my heart

square ; akaashi keiji

warnings implied cheating

genre angst, fwbs

word count 0.6k

inspiration square, mitski + wonder what she thinks of me, chole x halle

synopsis you never were going to be able to fit in the structure of akaashi’s life, no matter how much he wanted you to

author’s note this certainly hurt 😁 but this is an old draft ‘cause i’m still in a slump :/

You heaved out a sigh as Akaashi rolled off of you. Immediately he covered you up with newly pressed sheets. Your head lying on his matching pillowcase. Together, you stared at his plain ceiling, like always. There was no creases, no dents, no marks.

Nothing.

Akaashi was the first to shift around, opting to having his back face you as he checked his phone. Like always. You spared him a quick glance before following suit. Nearly wincing when you were met with a nicely framed picture of him and her.

The one this side of the bed rightfully belonged to.

Swallowing your guilt, you let your eyes drift. Akaashi’s room was clean, like always. His wall art were even, his desk area was neat, his closer was even neater. Everything was orderly. Everything had a place. Then there was you,

It wasn’t like it was your first time picking up on this. You made note of this the first time you stumbled into Akaashi’s room. Messily making out with him amongst his spotless room. Even with your head in the clouds you knew then that you didn’t fit.

How could you when the spot you wanted was already taken? There’s never really any room for someone who’s usually just a late night call. No room for someone who’s just supposed to fill a space temporarily.

But for some reason Akaashi kept you around. Maybe it was because you both were— and still are good friends. He tried to make space for you. Yet, in the end you knew it would never work.

“Hey,” almost on cue, Akaashi called out for you. You didn’t look at him, bringing your attention back to the nightstand that belonged to her.

“Are you alright?” The bed shook slightly when Akaashi turned on his other side. You nodded. She was so pretty, and so sweet. So talented, so smart, so… perfect. Why would Akaashi want to sacrifice this perfect fit in his life to have something with you?

He sighed, the air meeting your back. Following was the pressing of his chest as he reached over you to lay down the frame. You frowned.

“Don’t worry ‘bout her, ‘kay?” Akaashi draped his arm over you, his lips meeting your neck.

You gulped. You couldn’t take this anymore, you couldn’t take being a burden. The words hurt you more to say than Akaashi to hear, “We can’t do this anymore. I, can’t do this anymore…”

You could feel air get caught in Akaashi’s throat. “What do you mean?” He knew what you meant, obviously.

His arm fell from your body as you sat up. “I don’t fit here, Akaashi. I should just go.” Your eyes started searching for you clothes that were thrown and scattered across his flawless carpet. No spots, no trash, nothing.

Akaashi sat up with you, a look of confusion twisted on his face. “What does that even mean, ___?”

You bit your tongue and proceeded to climb out of his bed. Taking your clothes into your hands and shuffling them on.

“___, I want you to stay.” Painfully, those words made your heart skip a beat. Of course, you had to fall for Akaashi and his routine. Even if it didn’t make anything special of you.

You inhaled deeply, slipping into your shoes. “Just— keep things strong with her, okay? You guys are meant to be. You’re a really good guy, sorry for causing so much trouble.” The last sentence was muttered while you made your way to Akaashi’s bedroom door.

You heard him shuffle on his own clothes, exclaiming a wait at you. But you were already out the door.

Silently, you said goodbye to Akaashi and his perfectly square room. Where there was no longer any confusion, any intrusion, and no you.

domus - pt. 3 (final)

a/n: it’s done. oh god it’s done. it’s like 2AM so it’s unedited for now, but i’ll make edits in the morning. i also apologize in advance for the slightly rushed ending fas;elifjac you will need to read parts 1 and 2 (linked below) for context!

plot: when kuroo tetsuro drops the hard-hitting truth that he’s fallen out of love with you, your first thought is to escape. but you find comfort in the least likely person: akaashi keiji, a boy you had grown up with out of forced family interactions, who always seemed so distant from you. yet you probably knew more about him than anyone else.

characters: fem!reader, ex-bf!kuroo, & family friend!akaashi

wc: ~8k

genre/warnings: angst with teaspoons of fluff; mentions of alcohol and getting drunk

pt. 1 | pt. 2

The grey sheets fail to startle you this time around, granted that it’s been about four days since you first arrived. It’s the constriction of cotton around your body that wakes you up on this Tuesday morning, and your brain can’t fathom why your loose pajamas have suddenly become so uncomfortable. But then the threads tickle the skin of your arms, your legs feel the slight scrape of denim, and your toes have trouble wiggling around due to the constraint of…socks.

Why are you wearing socks to sleep?

Much to your body’s protest, you stumble out of Keiji’s comfortable sheets (note to self: ask him where he got them from) and into the reflection of the body-length mirror in his room. Your vision blurs when all the colors of the rainbow come into place, exploding into a million stars as you lose a bit of your balance. Thankfully, your hand finds purchase against the wall and allows you to regain some stability. It only takes a few seconds, overwhelmingly agonizing as they are, before you can properly assess your current state.

Yesterday’s outfit glares back at you, though much more mussed and wrinkled than you last saw it. Similarly, your hair is in a disarray, hands subconsciously trying to take out any tangles while you can. Knowing the state of cleanliness that Keiji keeps his space in, you feel a wave of regret wash over you for having slept in his bed in air-polluted clothes that must have caught who knows how many germs. Immediately, you move to your suitcase to find something to change into, discarding your current outfit into a large plastic bag that acted as your nomadic hamper. As soon as you’re done, you begin to gather up all the layers of Keiji’s bed, fitted sheet and all, and leaving them on top of the mattress in separate piles by how they should be washed. But while you gather the first bundle into your arms, you take a quick look at the clock, slightly flabbergasted that it’s only a little past 6AM.

In your somewhat frantic attempt to atone for your sins against Keiji’s abode, you failed to notice the lack of sun rays peeking from behind the curtains. And much like you’ve done every day since you showed up, you pull the material back and greet the nostalgic view of Tokyo once more.

But serenity doesn’t come to you. In fact, your heart seems to be weighed down by an unknown anchor. Instinctively, your arms come up to hug yourself slightly, knowing that it’s a feeble attempt at best. The weight gradually mixes with a grasp of suffocation and the feeling closes around your throat. Immediately, you seek a source of fresh air, eyes catching a handle on the window that you somehow missed all these days. This means that Keiji has two separate doors to the balcony, including the one in the living room, and you do your best to quickly yet quietly slide the pane open. As soon as there’s enough space for you to slide through, you practically bound out and lean yourself over the rail of the balcony, lungs taking in deep breaths of oxygen.

Below you, the city has already begun to awaken, pedestrians the size of ants seemingly crawling their away down the street. Faint car honks echo through the city, the occasional train horn blaring louder than the rest. These are sights and sounds you find familiar, and somehow, the unease in your chest settles. Everything seems okay again, and you wonder why it crept up on you so suddenly.

The realization creeps through your veins as you drink in the sight of the SkyTree: you’re not quite ready to leave yet. You don’t think you’re ready to hop on a plane back to Sapporo and back to the apartment that you and Tetsuro spent the last few years building together. Every corner, every nook and cranny of that unit was filled with memories upon memories, mostly good and some bad. And even if you want to think back on them, to be able to look at them and recall the moments fondly, you know that Tetsuro’s unfortunate confession would immediately overshadow all of it. They would just leave you in the same pool of broken bitterness that you originally escaped from.

You still haven’t texted him.

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Akaashi Keiji - Forever be still

708 | reader-insert | Something for the hurting and the healing.

The unique dial tone Akaashi set for his very best friend had roused him from his sleep; 2:54AM flashing tiny notifications—missed calls and messages with your name.

Akaashi scrolled through the contents briefly. He was very much awake now and almost tripping over his own feet to get out of his bed as quickly as he could, grabbing his phone and the very first pieces of clothing he could find on the ground before thundering down the stairs to get to the front door.

Some nights were bad, some nights were worse, and some nights were in need of somebodies to be with. Sometimes, conversations that were hard to word had to be heard if things got too quiet. Silence could be scary, being lost in the nothing and the everything. Akaashi knew this.

Keep reading