Hii šŸ““

hii šŸ““

Okay so the thing is that I wanted a ā€œthe Zenin raised Megumi instead of Gojoā€ fic but the thing is that I’m absolutely convinced that if the Zenin were the ones that took Megumi they wouldn’t actually take tsumiki too. The fandom consensus I’ve personally seen has been that she would have been taken and mistreated by zenin for being a female non sorcerer but I personally think they would have just straight up left her behind.

They only bought Megumi. They keep non sorcerers and women as servants in their compound but all of them are Zenin themselves. Tsumiki isn’t related and I couldn’t really see any reason why they’d want her. Which turned this into a fic where Tsumiki loses her brother, but she’s trying to find him again, she swears. I think of it as my ā€œsiblings doomed by the narrative desperately try to write a new one where they can be togetherā€ fic.

The thing is that Tsumikis mom was one of those people who thought love and consumption were synonymous. She had a habit of getting caught up with assholes and just… having both of them chew on each other for a while until it turns into this horrible fucking bloodbath.

Tojis just another loser her mom got caught up in, but he’s Tsumiki’s favorite out of all the losers, because he gave her her brother. Her mom marries this random guy she barley knows and Tsumikis pretty sure she does it so they can both ditch their kids twice as much, secure in the knowledge that there’s supposedly another person checking in. It works out great for them, because they both stop coming entirely. It’s fine, because Tsumiki has Megumi and Megumi has Tsumiki and they don’t need anything else.

It’s one of those things where they were in really unhealthy circumstances and it made their relationship a little bit unhealthy but not necessarily bad. They both had to grow up way too fast and deal with way too much too soon and become codependent on each other because they are, in the most literal way possible, dependent on one another. Neither of them know how to love in a way that doesn’t involve sacrificing themselves for their sibling, mostly because they don’t have a way that doesn’t involve that.

They’re in a sinking ship and tsumiki knows it. Their parents aren’t coming back. The money is going to run out sooner or later. Their problems are stacking up.

Megumi has confessed to her that he sees things that no one else does. When she asks him how he knows no one else sees them, he explains that they’d say something if they did and won’t say anything else. And she doesn’t know what to believe but she refuses to call him crazy. He tells her that monsters cling to her back and he fights them off for her. She patches up his bruises and cuts and tells him he’s brave and tries to figure out if she’s just imagining that her back feels lighter after. He tells her that there are dogs that only he can see that have started following him around, and she tells him she believes him and can never remember, later, if she meant it or was just saying it.

The last time Toji came by, he left them more money than tsumikis ever seen in her life, took them to ice cream, told them that he was sorry he was so shit at this and that the money was Megumi’s share in a payment. It was for something he was going to help daddy with later. Tsumiki and him were to use it to take care of themselves and be healthy, because Megumi couldn’t help him later if he wasn’t. And tsumiki was always afraid of what he meant by that, but in the end, she let it slip her mind. After all, Toji hadn’t been by in ages. He probably wouldn’t come by at all.

And he didn’t. But others did. Two men she’s never met before are waiting outside their building one day, and when they see Megumi, they laugh. But the thing that Tsumiki can never get out of her mind later is that she swears they weren’t looking at Megumi directly. They were looking at his dogs.

Tsumiki basically tries to get Megumi and powerwalk past them, but they’re a lot bigger and a lot stronger and there’s nothing she can do, really. They have a brief conversation about whether they should take her too, before one decides that Toji only sold him his kid and to leave the other behind. This makes both of them try to run, but there’s nothing either of them can do to overpower the men, and the men say that ā€œNaobito would go ballistic if they left the ten shadows behindā€ so they take Megumi and leave her.

They put Megumi in a car and shove Tsumiki to the curb outside of it, and she tried to hold onto his hand, she swears. She grabbed at the car door even when the car started moving, and she banged on the windows, and she watched as Megumi kicked and punched and screamed inside, until one of them hit him and he went still. She ends up falling and hitting her head when the car picks up speed, and when she wakes up again, the cars gone and she has no idea where it went.

And it becomes a foundational moment for who she is. I think she was just intensely lonely before Megumi and poured a lot of herself into this idea of a family together. Tsumikis never able to shake the moment of her being outside the car and Megumi being on the inside, and not being able to get into him. She can never again get what she felt in that moment out of her head.

She goes to the police and tells them that it’s her little brother, his dad sold him but she wants him back, and they’re like ā€œā€¦ā€. The issue is that apparently her mom can pick up the damn phone if the police call and she shows up, spins some lie about how her and the stepdad split up and he took the kid with him, they never adopted each others kids so it was within his rights, Tsumiki was taking the separation hard and acting out. She lies, basically, because toji hadn’t kept up his end of the deal and dropped in to check in (neither had she) and his kid wasn’t her responsibility, he could do what he wanted with him. She doesn’t want the police poking around the way she lives. Just let the kid go because he’s probably dead and not her real brother anyway.

Tsumiki refuses to give up on him. They were both kids who no one cared about but they cared about each other and that had to be enough. But she’s seven with no support and zero idea on how to find him. She starts skipping school to look for him in random streets, puts up flyers, can’t go outside without looking for him. She gets held back a year in school because of how much she skips and she can’t bring herself to care. She buys him gifts on every birthday and writes him letters she can’t post because she’s going to find her brother and she’s going to prove to him that she never once stopped looking for him. She just. She needs him to know that she never stopped looking for him. She needs to find him and be able to honestly tell him she never stopped trying.

One day her mom comes back in clothes she can’t afford and comes with movers they shouldn’t be able to afford and announces a move they definitely can’t afford. Tsumikis absolutely opposed to going because if her brother comes to look for her, she needs to be in their old apartment so he can find her. She doesn’t have much of a choice in the matter. They have mysterious new benefactors who are setting up a trust to take care of tsumiki with a very generous stipend for her mom but they have to move to Sendai as a stipulation of getting the money.

It’s not until the attorney who’s managing her trust hands her a set of glittery blue butterfly hairpins that tsumiki realizes her mom sold her brother a second time.

The thing is that tsumiki had this one cheap set of butterfly hairpins she’d always stopped to look at in the store when she took Megumi to go grocery shopping. Shed never buy them, because they couldn’t afford it, but it was the thing she wanted most openly in front of him. She was always secretly really insecure about her hair, because they were the kind of poor where bar soap was a luxury they could only sometimes afford and kids at school made fun of how her hair was dirty and frayed. Megumi was the only one who ever saw how badly she wanted those stupid hair clips. If they had to give her a set of butterfly hair clips, it’s because he demanded that they did.

It’s basically implied that the Zenin are the ones paying for her care and upkeep due to an unspecified deal they cut with Megumi, but when they approached her mom with it, they added the caveat that Tsumiki had to be moved to a new city entirely and there could be no forwarding address left anywhere.

The zenins stance on tsumiki is, effectively, that she’s a weakness Megumi needs to be weaned off of. They honestly assumed he’d just like, forget she ever existed and he. Did not do that. He actually pitched a total bitch fit. Tried to scale the compound walls. Bit multiple people including the clan leader. But he’s got the ten shadows, he’s heir to the clan, and he can’t be caught up on some random non sorcerer who isn’t even a Zenin. They end up agreeing to pay for her to live very comfortably if he starts cooperating more but they want to make sure that he can’t ever find her again if he does ever succeed in running away.

Tsumiki is at once full of hope and hopeless, because on one hand, the butterfly clips prove that Megumi still loves her and remembers her, at least in her mind. But at the same time, she’s being moved to Sendai and doesn’t know how they’ll ever find each other again. She doesn’t honestly know if they’d recognize each other if they saw each other again. She wears the butterfly clips every day, even when she gets too old for the style, because she’s more confident about her brother recognizing them than her.

The thing about tsumiki is that she doesn’t understand hate. She just doesn’t. Her mom and toji always got caught up in these perceived slights and revenge and never once let go of the past. They’d destroy themselves if it meant taking down the people they hated with them. She never wanted that. She wanted to live with the people she loved and she’d happily turn around and forget everything, all the pain, all the searching, if it just meant she could go back to being megumis sister.

This isn’t about hate. This is about that moment outside the car, where her brother was inside and she couldn’t get in to him. This is about how helpless and small she felt when they shoved her to the curb and ripped megumis hand out of hers. She needs to make sure that when she finds Megumi, she can take him home again. So she decides she needs to learn how to fight.

Itadori Yuuji has the constitution of an ox and the strength to match it, and he is known for getting in fights with bullies and trouncing them so thoroughly that it’s never a question of who wins when the fight starts. He’s insanely physically capable and can hold his own in a fight with ease. He’s also nice and kind and Tsumiki’s comfortable enough asking him to teach her how to throw a punch or two.

She is bad at it.

So fucking bad at it.

But she never gives up, and Itadori is nice enough to keep teaching her despite how embarrassingly horrible she is at it all. He always asks her why she wants to learn so bad, she doesn’t seem to like it all, and she never answers his question honestly.

In their last year of middle school, their class has a trip to Kyoto. She, Itadori, and the rest of their group walk into some random restaurant in the city and have barely sat down when someone comes inside, starts searching every booth in the restaurant while shouting Tsumikis name.

And oh. They could recognize each other after all.

She looked for Megumi in every crowd she was ever in, but she didn’t consider that he was doing the same. Or that he would see her first.

Her brother grew up without her seeing it. Hes older, dressed in strange, expensive clothes, has a slightly bruised up face and split lip, but his eyes are the same, and he looks like the brother she remembered.

But a lot more nervous than Megumi ever was. He was a tiny, stoic child who didn’t take any shit and never showed fear, even when there were monsters that only he could see. But he’s nervous when he tells her that she probably doesn’t recognize him or remember him, but when she was a lot younger, he—

Megumi. He’s her little brother. Of course she remembers him. She’s been looking for him everywhere.

Megumi didn’t smile much as a child, but he smiles at her then. He tells her he doesn’t have a lot of time and she tells him that they can leave out the back, and he never let her hold his hand as a child but he takes her hand so easily in that second. And just for a second, she’s his sister again, and it’s everything she wanted.

They never make it out the back.

Two men come in. Megumi calls one of them uncle, and he goes stiff and flat the second he sees him. His uncle apologizes for his nephew, tells everyone that he always makes scenes when they’re out in public, tells him to apologize to the nice people and leave. Megumi was mistaken.

Tsumiki trĆ­es to keep ahold of his hand. Really, she does. She tries to tell people to call the police. But megumis ā€œuncleā€ steps towards her and Megumi slams him into a table, and then suddenly Megumi’s the one insisting that they leave immediately. They can go. It’s fine. They’re leaving. She loses ahold of his hand.

She tries to follow, but the other man restrains her. She learns that she’s better at slamming plates into peoples heads than she is at punching, and at this point itadoris Friend In Danger Override has been triggered and he fucking tackles the dude, which gives tsumiki the clearing that she needs to chase outside after her brother. She gets out just in time to see him be pushed into a car, and she’s had years to think about the last time this happened and figure out what to do differently. She throws herself in front of the car and refuses to move.

See her entire stance is that she’ll sooner get run over and killed in the street than let them do this a second time, but she also can see Megumi trying to fucking punch the drivers head in from behind because he’s about to hit his sister. His uncles trying to restrain him, and just for a second, she sees his hands make the shape of the shadow puppets he used to show her as children. Something invisible slams her out of the way just as his uncle knocks him out.

She picks up a rock and tries to smash in the fucking window with it, and itadori has to pull her out of the way to keep her from getting her feet run over when the car finally tears out of the parking lot. She goes ballistic on him for stopping her because her brother was right there and she lost him again and she didn’t even get the license plate. He was right there.

The police basically do jack all again. There’s no license plate, no names they can follow up on, and they’re still half convinced this is a settled custody issue even though tsumiki insists her brother was sold by his dad and is very plainly getting hurt wherever he is. Itadori is now a devoted advocate of finding tsumikis brother and reuniting them, and both basically kind of end up becoming really close to the other? He’s taking care of himself and his grandpa alone, she’s alone while her moms awol again, and they both become the others support system.

At one point, there’s this random girl and boy who doesn’t speak who shows up to their school for indeterminate reasons. The girl is bored and twirling her glasses in one hand while the person in a suit that they’re with asks the principal questions, and when tsumikis eyes catch at the right angle, she sees an invisible monster clinging to a classmates back through them. She realizes it’s exactly what Megumi always talked about and still remembers that the people who took him could see his dogs. She corners the two others in a room and tries to demand information about the invisible monsters or see if they know her brother or the people who took him, and immediately gets blown off. The fight escalates until the girl tells him that actually, yeah. She knows tsumikis brother. He is a very special person to some very powerful people, and the only way she can ever help him is to tell him that she’s let go of him and that he needs to do the same to her. That’s the only message that the people who have him would ever let get through, and his life would get a lot better as soon as he got it.

The people who have him would give him anything in the world, except for her. He could be a lot happier and healthier than he is right now if he just agreed to stop trying to find tsumiki. If she really wants to help her brother, then she needs to let him go.

Tsumiki nails her in the back of the head with a milk carton when she tries to walk away. It sloshes out on her. Tsumiki did not intend this. She cannot admit that fact. There are some actions you just have to own when you do them. She tells the girl that he’s her brother and she’s never letting go of him. She’s going to find him. They can’t keep him from her forever. She doesn’t care how long it takes her.

For a second, tsumiki really thinks this girl is going to kick her ass, but she doesn’t. She wishes her luck and tells her she’ll need it, and it’s only later that tsumiki realizes she slipped the eyeglasses into her pocket.

And as it turns out, her brothers monsters were real all along.

There was a knife that toji left in the frame of his bed. Tsumiki confiscated it from Megumi as soon as he found it, and it was odd and strange and gave her bad feelings when she held it, and it can kill the things that gather on her back. When she follows Itadori to their local high school and joins the occult club in an attempt to find more people involved in this world of invisible monsters, she wears the eyeglasses and keeps the knife hidden in her bag.

It comes in handy when her senpais are trying to open this thing and suddenly there’s like a fucking portal opening and Actually Let’s Not Oh Too Late Let’s Run Let’s Fucking Run.

They run.

Meanwhile at the hospital Megumi found out in very quick succession that his sister has fucking sukunas finger and also that there’s a very over enthusiastic himbo who is the self appointed vice president of the Find Fushiguro Megumi And Bring Him Home Club who absolutely fucking refuses to leave his side. Sorry who are you. Why are you so enthusiastic about finding him. Megumi sort of was the one doing the finding there was a whole tracking situation and him waiting dramatically in the shadows like they just did it.

Anyway they run very very quickly to tsumikis school where she is dodging she is serpentining this is a fuckton of monsters oh holy fuck is that her brother?

The fight goes bad.

Tsumiki manages to follow itadori and her brother out at a much slower pace because she’s not a freak of nature like itadori and shows up just in time to see her brother shouting at itadori to not eat the fucking finger while itadori is absolutely trying to eat the fucking finger.

She chucks her shoe at him. The finger goes flying.

Then the monster eats it instead.

Tsumiki: :o

Yuuji: :o

Megumi: fuck

Now there’s a bigger monster and the fight goes even worse. There’s a lot of shouting. Itadori ends up with her knife. Then he ends up getting eaten and they’re down both a knife and itadori, who’s probably fucking dead. Then megumis insisting she run and she’s insisting he shut the fuck up because it’s sort of taken a decade to get this close to him again and she’s not fumbling the bag now because of a monster on the rampage. Have a sense of fucking priorities here.

Then itadori bursts out of the monsters stomach with the knife like the fucking Kool Aid Man and the fight is suddenly very over. Good job, team.

Gojo rolls up to his most stoic and eternally pissed off student having a dramatic and emotional reunion with his sister.

Yuuji, in a very bad whisper: no no so like she’s been looking for him for years but he saw her in the restaurant

Gojo: :o go on

Yuuji: and then he got caught by like, I don’t know, he said he was his uncle or something but the dude acted so weird and creepy and they put him in a car and Tsumiki tried to stop the car but they got away

Gojo: *gasp* what no

Yuuji: I know! Anyway then I start helping her look for him but we can’t find him anywhere until I’m at the hospital and he just walks up to me right?? And I’m like ā€œdude I have been looking everywhere for youā€ and he’s like ā€œI have no idea who you are, I’m here about that fucked up demon fingerā€ and I’m like—

Megumi, really trying to have a moment here: we can both hear you

And megumis like ā€œthis is uh. My new teacher. I guess. I am his only student. And he is uh. Enthusiastic. Do not linger in conversation with him.ā€

Tsumiki is lingering. She needs fucking intel so he can’t disappear again. Where does he go to school and can she transfer there. It’s fucking wizard school? Will they take her even though she’s not a wizard? She cannot emphasize enough that she will study any fucking subject they want so that way she can be close with her brother again she does not care if it’s applicable to her education or life. She can throw things at people itadori tell the man tell him how enthusiastically she will throw things at monsters for their weird fucking wizard school.

Itadori: she hit me in the face with her shoe like five minutes ago

Tsumiki: see???

Megumi keeps trying to forbid her from wizard school but she’s technically the older sister so she has override rights. She will go to wizard school. How does she get wizard school to accept her.

And Gojos just really weird and off and keeps looking at Megumi and saying that he ā€œdidn’t know he had a sister.ā€

He really didn’t know that Megumi had a sister he wanted to stay with.

And then suddenly it’s like a switch is flipped and he’s back to his normal self telling them to leave everything to him, because he’ll make sure tsumiki can come back with them. And uh? Itadori? Weirdly physically capable kid who will apparently eat anything? Is he going to be good getting home after all this?

Itadori: actually if it’s not too much trouble can I go to wizard school too my grandpa sort of died half an hour ago and I don’t have plans for the rest of my life. Tsumikis kind of my best friend and I’d like to make sure she’s all good at wizard school. I’m a really good fighter and I stabbed the last monster so like can I come too because you know. Dead grandpa. No family or future to speak of. Haha.

Gojo:

Megumi:

Tsumiki, softly: dude

There’s more after they make it to jujutsu high but this is already really long so we leave it here

More Posts from Luvmon3t and Others

1 month ago

people don’t talk about touya’s quirk being influenced by his emotional state enough

when he was young, how often do you think he used that strong feeling of pride and happinesss he got from impressing his father to push his fire?

and when endeavor ripped that away from him, making him feel worthless and starved for love, how much more anguish was he in? being so used to putting that intense ā€˜positive’ emotion into firing up his quirk and now, instead of using that muscle and stoking the fire of his emotions to get further along in his training, he feels forgotten and doesn’t know what the point of his existence is. completely adrift and not knowing where to put that energy in almost a completely literal sense

and the second he wakes from his coma, he wants to try again. desperately reaching for that same feeling he still misses. made worse by the the fact he thinks that’s what love is and he wants his father’s love

then when he sees his father is stubbornly set in his decision to do all of this to shouto, even after touya burned alive and completely alone because of it, dabi knows he can never get that original feeling back

so now he uses his emotional connection to his fire to train with it even further, utilizing that burning anger and hurt to make himself ā€˜stronger’. hurting himself both physically and mentally every single time he does. not caring because he laid himself to rest already, realizing his ā€˜death’ did nothing to stop the horrors at home. realizing there was no point in trying to love because he was shown he wasn’t deserving of it and apparently neither was his youngest brother. he’s told that he is his power. he’s shown that he is his power. without it, he felt like he was nothing

but he’s felt so much of all of this emotion that he has some sense of numbness, too. his nerves are destroyed and he can’t feel the pain. on top of that, he has to learn how to quickly numb his intense emotion in order to control his own quirk. his self harm is all about precision, so he can keep himself alive and together just long enough to confront endeavor. he can go from being the most angry, vengeful, passionate burning light you’ve ever seen to completely numbing and stilling that rage. to pushing it all down and only crying a tear of blood. because his emotion is intrinsically tied to his quirk and even now, he only uses it to harm himself to eventually get to his father again

his quirk, something that is a huge part of him and his physiology, is based on emotion. his emotion controls his fire. and in his formative years, the foundation of the strongest relationship in his life was all based around self harm

7 months ago

I dont know how many of you will agree with this, but recently I had a realisation about Kevin. lt could be broken down to 3 phases:

The first is that Kevin is existing in very extreme emotional states - he either completely removes his emotions and as such vulnerability from a situation, or he goes all in reactive, which ends up with him being extremely dominant and agressive in his expression. The in between only happens when he is in the process of bouncing from one to the other.

Here is why I think he acts as such: as a kid, he had to really moderate how he expressed himself and constantly adapted to the situation. He had to be the golden child for the cameras, he had to be unfallible as an athlete due to his legacy, at the same time, he had to be submissive and lesser than for Riko and Tetsuji. Since most of the attention he got was both very keen and very dominant while emotionally removed (I wonder how much actual prize he got for normal things), it created a deeply rooted fear of honesty. It would be pretty natural for him to feel resentment at constantly not being the right thing, always lacking. As such, he became ultimately dishonest in his expression, which makes him repellant to opening up and being vulnerable in relationships. I used to think most of his dishonesty stemmed from fear because the truths he knew were very delicate and dangerous, but I am wondering if it wasn't born out of this deeper feeling of inadequacy. As a result, the Kevin we meet is used to fitting into someone else's ideas, and that's because he feels like every relationship is based on him GIVING them something of himself. Every one, not just the one with Riko. Living is a sacrifice of self for him, and he will end up, willingly or not, molding himself into whatever he feels he has to give away. When he asks for Wymack to take him in, when he makes the deal woth Andrew, when he wants Neil to believe in a future, when he drops all conctact with Thea, or Jean, after leaving the ravens. He feels like it's expected of him to be what others want to see him as and not what he wants to be. He can't be both of those things at once, so he is what they want or nothing at all. Just think of his attachment to the number two on his cheek and the meltdown that accompanied him, finally choosing to stand up for himself. To finally choose to come into his own identity.

That mechanism would lead from the beginning to him being very removed from his own wants in order to protect them. So, after a while, he would lose his sense of self. Which is funny, because that would lead to him having to relearn it through first finding the negative image of his preferences and his true self, like when capturing a scene in traditional photography.

As such, he is able to pinpoint everything he hates, dislikes, doesn't want and agree with - because they are an immediate danger. But that doesn't immediately lead him to finding what he likes, what he wants or what he is.

And this is where it gets interesting. This behaviour would also be responsible for him feeling very secretive about everything he does find that he likes and enjoys. For example history, if someone made it into a adressed thing, that he likes history, it would feel like he lost that interest, for the sole reason it's not just his anymore. You with me? Not in general, but in a personal relationship. That's why he is so annoyed at people not being good enough for his standards at exy but also not being excited at them caring or trying to meet them, only more and more critical even when he is totally having fun and excited about this.

The fact that even his interest in something like history could be demonized isba pretty common protection mechnaism. That's because when we shelter ourselves by pretending to not exist we are completely vulnerable when that illusion drops. It makes sense that he keeps everyone and everything at an arm's length with his cold and biting demeanour. Feeling like every person is a threat to who he is explains how screwed up almost all of his relationships are.

5 months ago
Interview With The Vampire 2.05 / Red Dragon (2002) Screenplay
Interview With The Vampire 2.05 / Red Dragon (2002) Screenplay
Interview With The Vampire 2.05 / Red Dragon (2002) Screenplay
Interview With The Vampire 2.05 / Red Dragon (2002) Screenplay
Interview With The Vampire 2.05 / Red Dragon (2002) Screenplay
Interview With The Vampire 2.05 / Red Dragon (2002) Screenplay
Interview With The Vampire 2.05 / Red Dragon (2002) Screenplay

interview with the vampire 2.05 / red dragon (2002) screenplay

6 months ago

So in light of the absolute fuckery that's been Chapter 407, I want to talk about All For One, because I don't think I've ever really talked about him.

I don't mind that he's evil for evil's sake, I don't mind that his ultimate goal is to take OFA so that he can take over the world and make everyone reliant on him or whatever. I don't mind that he nearly took over Japan back in the day. But like everything else Horikoshi touches, AFO had potential that was ultimately squandered away.

I hate how he was literally pure evil IN FUCKING UTERO, I hate how he was barely even utilized (outside of Kamino Ward, which that was fucking awesome) before he tries wrestling control of Shigaraki to be the main villain again. I hate how even though he allegedly has hundreds upon hundreds of Quirks, he spams the same 3-4 ones, and I hate how for supposedly smart and devious he is, we never see him utilizing UA's bad PR or his traitor to his advantage.

It's kind of weird to say this, but I both miss AFO, and feel sorry for him. I know he's been in the story a lot, but... it feels like AFO, the real one, fucking died at Kaminio, and his idiot corpse has just been running around since with Hori's hand up his ass.

Before Kamino, AFO was evil, yes, and and we didn't know about him, but he felt like a real person; an asshole, but he was something you could imagine a super-powered mob boss could end up being.

Since then, though? He's just been becoming more and more... shallow. It's like Hori was hinting at these dark, mysterious depths of ancient man, and then he pulled the curtain and showed us a fucking puddle. And now? All the mystery, all the backstory?

'BeCaUSe i'M EEEEEEEVVVILLLL'. Unironically, it seems to be his only motivation anymore. He does bad things because he's evil; he doesn't actually want to take over the world, that's just something he's doing because taking over the world is evil. Money? Power? Ultimately worthless, nothing more than tools for the purposes... of EVIL!

So... here's the question: why is he evil?

Because he was evil when he was an adult. Why was he evil as an adult? Because he was evil as a kid, apparently, instead of anything more interesting like him slowly being radicalized by Quirk Discrimination. Why was he evil as a kid? Because he was born evil, instead of anything more interesting like a terrible family, or because a police officer hurt him and traumatized him for life. Why was he evil when he was born?

??????

Because he was born of evil genetics, maybe; I wouldn't put it past Hori to make him unironically Quirk Satan or something. The thing is, that's not how human beings work; even an actual sociopath isn't going to be born this gibberingly, one-dimensionally evil. Worse yet, it's fucking boring to have a human being this basic; at this point why aren't they fighting a robot, or monster or something? It'd have the same level of motivation, and it'd feel more interesting than this.

Even ignoring how stupid he's become post-Kamino (which is a related but different point, best summed up by post-Kamino AFO is basiclly running around with his pants on his head, constantly getting one upped by the heroes, the kids, and basiclly random strangers by now), AFO was at his most interesting, not only when he was competent, but when he felt like a person; there's a reason DFO is so popular, and it's not just because it drags Izuku into it, but because it humanizes AFO, gives him real, human motivations to make us interested in his character.

The worst part of it? There's been so many chances to make him more than this caricature of a human being; by making him care for Shigaraki (or for Dr. Plot Device, or even Kurogiri, his loyal minion, before he was Eraserhead's seemingly somewhat retconned 'human interest' (which was barely a thing), or even just for Gigantomachia, who is basiclly a giant, super-violent dog, who he could have cared about like he was just a giant dog), or for him caring for his brother.

I mean, shit. In all honesty, I could make the 'biting baby' thing work, even. Ideally, it'd need some set up beforehand, but you know how Himiko is (the only one we've ever seen) with desires from her Quirk? Do something similar to how Yhwach in Bleach was on AFO, with that kind of logic, with him needing something, at this fundamental level, to be functional, that he's almost addicted to stealing Quirks, that AFO as a Quirk only works as a Quirk because somewhere in his magic DNA he's... unstable. That the very versatility that allows him to hold every Quirk is starving for the stability of a normal Quirk, so that even as a infant, he's instinctively trying feed himself something a normal human would never need.

There's this whole, interesting dynamic this would introduce, a real nature/nurture-y kind of thing, that would put a whole new spin on his character; he's this seemingly pointlessly evil person because his needs, combined with the only real role model he had for someone in his situation, the demon kings he's seen in manga, and a society that rejected him, both as someone with a Quirk by the normal humans, and as someone who could take away their Quirks by the Quirked, turning him into this because that's all he's ever known.

And here's the thing? This idea? Hori could still try to do that. He could try to turns table us with this sudden development, and try to make a real boy out of AFO. But I don't think he's going to; I really don't think he'll do that. Worse, even if he does try that, he'll just double down on AFO being 'born evil' instead of anything with any real depth to it. Do you know why I think that?

Because in all honesty, AFO isn't a real character anymore; he hasn't been for awhile now. All he is is a plot device, the duck tape Hori's been putting on everywhere to try and hold the story together against all the plot holes and logic failures that have been built up from years of bad, biased and rushed writing. More and more, he's become the reason for everything, the cause of every problem Hori can't be bothered to think through, every villain he didn't want to actually have to explain.

The Readers/The Characters: Why did X happen? What caused that? How does Y feel abou- Hori: AFO did it. I ain't gotta explain shit.

And that's the real reason he's so stupid, BTW, the reason he never uses any other Quirk, or applies any creativity in combat (or anywhere else), and why he keeps losing... it's for the plot. Because the thing is? AFO is fucking overpowered.

Let me tell you something I've never seen anyone else acknowledge: All Might never should have won. He overpowered AFO, sure, but we saw from their fight that he barely did that; didn't crush the puny caster AFO once he got past the lasers, his one super Quirk barely out-performed AFO's stacked Quirks in direct combat. Which, yeah, sure I can see that....

But. Why did AFO fight fair, just power against power, blow vs blow? Why didn't he, like, release poison gas as they fought? All Might is strong, but he still has flesh, blood, lungs; he's still very vulnerable to all kinds of softer Quirks. Where was the touch activated Quirk, like that kid from the License Exam, would have turned All Might into a meatball, or taffy, or whatever? Where was the voice activated Quirk that would have stunned All Might for a critical moment?

Hell. Why didn't AFO cheat? Why did he fight All Might, like an honorable person, when he realised the man was possibly a threat to him, instead of just... assassinating him, like a crime lord (or demon king)? Go to his home (or Might Tower, or wherever), drug his food, put something in his water, hell, just launch a surprise attack from point blank range? We know he tried for Eraserhead's Quirk once, before... apparently just giving up and never trying again; why didn't he try again, get it, and use that?

And beyond even all those problem, I don't see a reason for OFA to have survived long enough to get to All Might in the first place!

I mean, seriously: we know that every user fought AFO, viciously, to point where it caused their early deaths (except the one that basiclly started to Snap himself out of existence). We know OFA was only slowly building up in power, and the early versions especially didn't do much at all, and the Quirks all of them had where never top of the line because they were literally just a random person nearby when the Holder before them died.

So. Riddle me this: why, when a bunch of honestly mid-tier people tried, again and again, to kill AFO, who was overwhelmingly stronger than them, who had access to more tools, powers and money than they did; why, when all these factors were stacked against them, did they survive to the point where they could even pass OFA on? How did they survive blows strong enough to destroy buildings, laser blasts, all these powerful Quirks and techniques that AFO uses casually that most heroes would have been instantly killed by, if not flat out destroyed.

I mean... fuck, there's a decent chance AFO knew they had OFA in them, which he wanted (for whatever reason; sentimentality clearly isn't a emotion he's allowed to have, and early OFA wouldn't have been worth the effort for him to go through all of this to try and acquire it), which means instead of just killing them, he would have captured them, taken them back to his base, and then tortured them until they gave him OFA, just so they would finally be allowed to die and not hurt anymore? While I'm at this, why didn't he just kill any pedestrians around after he killed whatever OFA Holder he was fighting; it's not like morals are going to stop him, are they?

Fundamentally, MHA is built off the premise that AFO, terrifying criminal genius with countless Quirks, strong enough that he makes people by him hallucinate out of terror, is so pants shittingly stupid that he spent almost a hundred years basiclly punching himself in the face rather than just winning fights that were ludicrously stacked in his favor again and again and again; I mean, hell, he could still be an utter moron, and as long as he just got lucky once, just once, the giant, unending sequence of coincidences and logic breaking victories that allowed All Might to get his Quirk never would have happened.

None of this, of course, is even mentioning everything happening in the Final Arc, like AFO's obvious weakness to allow him to be finally beat forever appearing out of nowhere, in him having Remnants (even though AFO took eight users to to power it up enough to get to the point that AFO was apparently always at, and us having no reason to think this was a thing before now, much less all the absolute nightmare fuel questions that raises about the Nomu, and all the Quirks that AFO's doctor had stored away), and Eri's Quirk actively accelerating to heal him, thus limiting his life span (or the fact it's even working like that in the first place), even though it's a time Quirk, not a healing Quirk, and it doesn't fucking care about how wounded he is.

So, why did it happen? Why is it still happening?

Because he's a plot device. Because he exists, not as an active character with his own agenda, but as an adjustable target for the heroes to fight against, again and again and again, and if he won, the story would be over. Fundamentally, Hori made AFO too strong, too smart, too well connected, too perfect to every truly lose in this setting, and instead of trying to fix that, in any real way, impose some kind of realistic limitations or drawbacks in his wildly over-powered Quirk, or just kill him off so he wasn't a factor anymore, he just... made the man stupid.

3 months ago
My Brother's Keeper

my brother's keeper

4 months ago

sometimes i’m sooooo blown away by the fact that kevin is so smart……. like yes he is the fox with the highest grades despite being also the fox with the tightest training schedule and yes he canonically gets called an obsessive genius and yes the extra content explicitly says he is both very smart and very willing to teach people. but really i am thinking about kevin playing reporters like fiddles, jean calling kevin too good of a liar to ever let anything slip, kevin going up to andrew post-game and wordlessly helping cover up the fact andrew is off his medicine by pretending andrew’s racquet had broken (and then proceeding to discreetly crush it in his hand when the foxes gather around andrew), kevin living a lifetime of walking on the edge of riko’s knife, kevin hiding french, hiding thea, kevin spotting potential from a mile away, kevin who even riko thought was brilliant and sharp-tongued. yeah……..!

9 months ago

I'm not the original anon either, but do you have any skk fic recs of them getting together/admitting their feelings at 22 thats not an au?

I tried to remember which ones of my bookmarks had that kjshdaksjhd

it must be because i love you by communist_sasuke (T, 5k, skk through time as they "can't think around each other" based on quotes from Fifteen and SB)

Narrow Staircases by rutu14 (T, 31k, 16!Chuuya shows up because of an ability and 22 skk face feelings)

the same groove by halfbloom (T, 7.6k, Dazai knows he's in love with Chuuya from the start of the fic and Chuuya takes years to catch up)

The Gravity on Jupiter and Mars by Leonawriter (T, 1.9k, Chuuya is sick and as usual Dazai only shows softness to a Chuuya who's half-unconscious. Dazai sings Fly Me to the Moon.)

another round of lost and found by zenelly (T, 5.5k, injured Chuuya goes to an old safe house and finds a soon-to-be detective there)

Doll Parts by the_most_happy (M, 8.3k, Chuuya shows up injured at Dazai's dorm and they reluctantly work out some things)

BAD DECISIONS (series) by gluetrap (all E, 60k total, 22!skk doing the vulnerability and falling in love all out of order. also switch skk all the way down thank you)

and previously mentioned fics in another ask:

A Doll's House by Abyss_In_WonderLand_likes_sexy_cannibals (M, 45k, Dazai and Chuuya get stuck in an ability-space created to test partnerships and they must overcome all the challenges to get out)

picking a flower that blooms on the heart for you translated by burgundytshirt (M, 44k, Chuuya suddenly gets hanahaki and dies from it, only to wake up the previous morning in a time loop, and sets on to understand what is going on)

5 months ago

Isagi Yoichi: problems with anger expression

Clickbait, right? One would think that what kind of anger expression problems could there be with a guy swearing on the field with war-crime level insults and joyfully bringing a child a few years younger to tears?

The kind where one derives from the the other.

Now, let's figure it out.

To do so, we'll have to go back to Isagi's novel (hoshi801_ translation is used for all of the quotes). From it, we know that Isagi grew up as a quiet and shy child. "He never gets into fights with his friends and never disobeys his teachers."

Nevertheless, it ended quite simply then - thanks to Noa, he learnt how to express his anger and negative feelings. Problem? Only on the football field. The novel says he "was fearless in running into his opponents, as if he had never been a crybaby."Ā 

Isagi Yoichi: Problems With Anger Expression

He was winning, and what he liked best about football - his football, Noa's football - was the beauty of Noa’s playstyle brutality. Because that's what made it an acceptable outlet for him - fighting with friends is bad, arguing with teachers is not allowed - but on the football pitch you are free. You can be angry. Football became his safe space.

Isagi Yoichi: Problems With Anger Expression

Except that then Isagi entered the root of all his troubles - Ichinan.

Even before it, the novel mentioned and emphasised Isagi's inability to express himself. For a while, despite this, his plans worked: the coaches let him play the way he wanted, and he didn't have to come into direct conflict with them.

But that trick didn't work in Ichinan - the dream school suddenly turned out to be somehow strange, and Isagi felt that he wasn't allowed to fulfil his potential here.

But no one on the team was unsatisfied by the current system.

Isagi Yoichi: Problems With Anger Expression

Even before the conversation with the coach where he was ridiculed Isagi had tried to test the waters. Specifically to test - he doesn't say anything outright in fear of being rejected. "Uhm, Tada-kun… don’t you think there’s something wrong with this?" he asks his club mate very cautiously, while in thoughts having more direct ā€œHuh? Am I the only one who thinks that this is ridiculous?ā€. It's written out separately in the novel that "he watches the expression on Tada's face to see how he'll react" - Isagi already has problems. He's already learnt that he can be rejected if his opinion doesn't coincide with the majority - especially since the conversation wasn't taking place in 'football territory', where he was more or less able to talk straight.Ā 

Having an opinion for Isagi means isolation.

But he still tries one last time - one that finally cracks him up, convincing him that the others know better and he just needs to be patient.

In the novel his friends are "Surprized, seeing the quiet and obedient Isagi talk to the coach" - again, he is used to keeping quiet and not risking. Still, he dares to - and is immediately ridiculed for allegedly trying to "show off".Ā 

And this is what finally kills in him the will to resist. Because losing his friends and football is more terrifying for him than losing himself.

What does the novel says about Isagi after this episode? "He is afraid of being disliked for being assertive", "always timid", "compliant". "When his friends get excited, Isagi would say something like this: ā€œUh, yeah… me tooā€."

"He just goes with the flow."

Isagi Yoichi: Problems With Anger Expression

Isagi agrees with Tada's taste in girls, agrees to eat what he doesn't want to, pleases in every way possible just so he won't be abandoned. He obeys the coach's strategy, and even on the field - the only thing that gave him joy and was a safe place for him - he ends up obeying the rules his surroundings have imposed on him.

He doesn't try to argue, he doesn't try to prove anything - he just chooses the safest path, the one where he doesn't do anything and doesn't fight, but he stays safe. Not abandoned.

What's the conclusion?

Isagi doesn't know how to express anger at all. He just hasn't learnt it because he hasn't tried it. And most importantly, doesn't know how to express it correctly.

Why is it necessary (and important) to know how to anger correctly in the first place? The point is that for the mentality anger is a kind of marker that lets us know when our interests are violated and our needs are not satisfied. Which by its presence helps us to build boundaries and achieve what we need. Anger is the power and energy to change an unpleasant world to suit us and achieve our goals.

But Isagi was shamed for showing negative emotions and for any attempt to express himself. He was shown non-verbally that any expression of self and attempt to argue, even just a different opinion would be received grudgingly, that you had to agree on everything, that if you tried to argue you would be rejected and not only that, you would lose the football.

And Isagi tamps down the anger inside himself - he no longer stands up for himself, and holds back the anger to the last, storing it up inside for years.

He develops a ban on anger.

And in general, not just anger - any negative emotion. He is unable to express even the despair of losing to Kira correctly; he tries to suppress it, to muffle it, the novel explicitly states that he attempts to lock it up inside, but in the end, having overflowed, this despair against his will burst out in a scream. Isagi suppresses all negative feelings in general. Aside from the crying part, this repressed anger is evident even in the first chapter, when he imagines the goalkeeper in tears from defeat, and dreams of crushing Kira. Without saying it out loud, though.

And in that 'against his will' lies the main problem of why exactly anger needs to be lived out properly.Ā 

Because otherwise it'll spill out just like that scream - desperate, seething, expansive, and the worst part?

Uncontrollable.

What is the danger of not controlling the expression of anger? Why can't we just hide it inside and keep smiling, without causing anyone problems and without wasting the resources of our body on it, just adjusting? Yes, in doing so you lose your freedom of expression - so what?Ā 

Because anger doesn't disappear over time. It is put inside layer by layer, day by day.Ā 

And sooner or later you can't hold it back.

In life this rarely ends well: if a person holds themselves to a completely unhealthy level of control they may at some point experience an episode of derealisation - when repressed feelings become so abundant that the brain rolls out one of the strongest self-defence mechanisms - detachment. If it doesn't? One goes off the rails: he overreacts to the smallest of things, he is thrown from one-time hook-ups to drugs and alcohol. The accumulated anger begins to destroy from the insides.

But Isagi, as an adaptation specialist (unconsciously, most likely) has come up with a great answer to this, learnt from childhood and from the show with Noel Noa. Which one? Express anger where it would be considered normal.

Blue Lock with on-field swearing works for Isagi for many reasons at once. He got Bachira, who showed him that there's nothing wrong with expressing his angry-self - he'll be accepted, he would even be welcomed, it's okay to be angry! He got Chigiri and Kunigami, Nanase and Hiori, dozens of people accepting him no matter what (but in personal conflicts outside the field he usually still doesn't know how to behave - he prefers to withdraw and wait for things to resolve themselves - but that's for another time). Here, also, the issue of survival came into play, as expressions of anger and rage were cultivated by the Ego itself, sometimes specifically manipulating the players to do so.

Isagi Yoichi: Problems With Anger Expression

There's also the application of the familiar pattern of his pre-Ichinan childhood ('I play football as rough as Noa - I'm doing well, I'm not alone, and I achieve my goals because it happens on the field, so it doesn't mean anything'), the general tense atmosphere, and a fair number of trigger characters who would drive even a saint to their grave (heh, Kaiser, heh). Isagi in general has more to do with football than almost all of Blue Lock's characters. Manifestations of anger and determination as a child (on the football field!)? Noa. Manifestations of them now? Blue Lock. He continues to use mechanisms familiar from childhood to protect himself, adapting them to new realities.

(basically, even the fact that Noa is around - who, again, once gave little Isagi the opportunity to express himself openly on the field - can have an impact on the escalation of Isagi's behaviour around Kaiser and Bastards. Whose presence and support is associated with a safe expression of himself)

Isagi Yoichi: Problems With Anger Expression

like father like son

And uncontrollable anger bursts out, but for now like water from a cracked jug - in jolts, strong and those impossible to shut down, but from just one place. The swearing at the match and the opportunity to openly express himself and his objectives (remember how he shouted at Noa that his system doesn't allow him to score goals hahaha) allowed him to relax, to partially release the anger accumulated over the years - all without any realisation on his part. He doesn't even have to do anything - it all resolved itself. He's not being rejected, he's playing the way he wants to play and yet he's angry! That's great!

And everything seems to be fine, right?

The problem is that Blue Lock's setting just isn't going to work in the long run. Ego will be there for the rest of the project - another 2-3 months - and for training for the World Championship, for the Championship itself, and... that's it. The project ends, Isagi flies off to play in another country, but who can guarantee that the environment for such an expression of anger will be replicated there as well?

At one point, access to the field and, in principle, to the competitive and encouraging environment for such expressions of character in Blue Lock is bound to be cut off. There are gaps between seasons, injuries, end of career, and the simple fact that such expression depends on how much the coach allows to players - at some point Isagi may well be silenced.

And then all the accumulated, bubbling anger inside, which is now used to being expressed regularly, will spill out - and not on the safe field, where much can be blamed on adrenaline, but on his loved ones, his career and himself.

9 months ago

...

Okay, so would you be willing to help me get a grip on how Shouto, Dabi and Hawks use honorifics? They're the three main characters in the fic I'm writing for you and while I normally don't use honorifics in fear of getting something wrong, I would like to try.

I understand if that's too complicated, of course, or if you don't have the time.

<3 anon

Here's a great post on Shouto and why he calls Touya "Touya-nii" (it'd be disrespectful otherwise - not calling an older sibling with an honorific is like calling your folks their first names).

An older post by Keri. Very thorough on the Todos.

Older post about his lack of honorifics. I think this is more earlyroki, but yeah, Shouto isn't the type to use these except for family now.

Dabi usually doesn't use honorifics, like Shouto, so when he does, it's time to pay attention. He did so for Ujiko, and here's a post on twitter about how refers to his family when alone.

Here's a post on Hawks and his speech. He does use "-san" with Endeavor. He's fairly casual though. He'll also use Tsukuyomi for Tokoyami generally, interestingly enough, even stops himself from calling him Tokoyami. Not sure if I recall calling him "Kun". He does however call Shouto "Shouto-Kun" and has referred to Dabi as "Touya-kun", which uhh, disrespectful af Keigo, he's older than you!!!!!

Also here's a great post on some of his behavior.

I think @thyandrawrites and @linkspooky have good breakdowns on more nuances with Touya and Shouto's behavior so you could look through their blogs for information. I will say Dabi's way of acting changes depending on who he speaks to, and he's weird with Hawks in general.

(seriously dbhwks writers, it's Dabi who is the touchy, pushy one!!!!)

Good luck with your writing!

6 months ago
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