Latest Posts by cowboythethird - Page 9
James wished he could blame it on the alcohol, but the dizziness that overtook his entire body when Sirius whispered in his ear, his hips grinding against James’ arse, was from a whole different kind of drug.
He was almost tempted to dance off beat just to feel his friend redirect him again, hand pressing burns into his hip. But it felt even better when he did something right and Sirius whispered praises, breath brushing against the shell of his ear.
Ever the show off, he perused the dance floor for inspiration. Something flashy. His eyes kept drifting back to the couple dancing in front of them, one man wearing a hickey into the other’s neck.
Now, how to entice Sirius to do that to him?
There.
James bent over at the waist, keeping his arse firmly pressed against Sirius. Then he shook it, drinking in the way his mate’s grip clenched against his hips.
More, James thought, his competitive spirit and thrill at pleasing Sirius sending blood rushing to his head.
He popped a squat—his body flesh with Sirius’ the whole time—turning around to face Sirius, and grinned. He hoped his expression looked flirtatious and conniving, but there was a near 100% chance it was just goopy and giggly. James kept eye contact with his mate as he slowly stood up, swaying his hips and running his hands up the backs of Sirius’s legs, fingers learning every crook and bend of his body.
He stop one hand on Sirius’ backend, giving it a cheeky squeeze, and let the other arm rest loosely over his shoulder.
“How’s that, Pads?” James said under his breath. His whole body shook from nerves so violently that he couldn’t muster more than a whisper.
His mind nearly spiralled into the ‘oh my god, what have I just done’ territory when Sirius’s arm looped back around his waist, pulling him closer. With his other hand Sirius gently held James’ jaw.
“So you do have a little gay in you.” Sirius smirked.
James gulped. “A lot more than a little.”
Sirius had gotten good at faking it. He’d gotten good at the smiles and the flirting and the hinting at women sharing his bed. He mentioned the clubs and changed the pronouns and he got good at it.
He got good at lying to James. He’d never wanted to be good at lying to James.
He’d gotten so good at it that when James and Lily broke up and James needed an outlet to “let loose” that he’d turned to Sirius and asked where he normally went.
And, of course, Sirius had given the name of the only bar he could think of.
One he hadn’t been to in a year, which could be in his best interest now as hopefully none of his old hookups would be there. But still.
He’d very much given the name of a gay bar to newly singly James Potter.
He debated calling in help but Remus wouldn’t understand the urgency. Had never understood why Sirius didn’t go out with it and tell James he was gay. James would understand, Remus was certain. It wouldn’t change anything.
But Remus didn’t know about the countless practice kisses. The times they’d share beds to stave off the cold. Didn’t know that the only reason James couldn’t see Sirius’ feelings was that he’d never thought them possible.
Sirius was a womanizer.
He’d carefully made sure James knew that. Believed that.
Because otherwise, his friend might see. Might see the arms thrown over shoulders, the lingering hugs, the blushes, the smile he couldn’t control at hearing Lily had finally left him.
Things that a straight best friend might get away with. Things that a queer friend wouldn’t.
But then he’d gone and given James the name of London’s number one gay night club.
And he was fucked.
i’ve never had an original experience holy shit
I would like to say that exams will be the death of me and that James and Sirius kiss and stuff.
THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH
NOT CRAZY/SEER PANDORA
where’s my #womaninstem pandora
where’s nerd pandora
where’s critical and cunning pandora
where’s “yeah, sure, give me a source for that, bud” pandora
where’s bold, strong spoken, head-on-straight, sarcastic pandora
she died doing SCIENCE experiments, let her be logically and determined and passionate
(ALSO the black sistersss i need a 200k length fic about their lives from birth to death, i need a full psychological rundown of bellatrix and her motives)
Some things I’d loved to have seen more often in the marauders fandom characterizations:
Ravenclaw barty ( ALL owls, enough said)
Pandora NOT being crazy/ a sear (Luna 100% got that from xeno)
Regulus not necessarily agreeing with pureblood rhetoric but seeing that his family is safer with it and also more of his relationship w Voldemort ( he didn’t become the youngest deatheater on a whim )
Sirius being a black, he was a total troubled teen and honestly probably still didn’t feel much empathy for muggleborns. Also running away didn’t erase his entire life up until that point
James being a total dick. (Hate him)
Lily getting the love she deserves instead of her entire character being watered down to nothing without her husband (I’m looking at u jegulus vs jily bitches) Lily can be her own person even if James isn’t dating her!!!
Bellatrix black. Right hand WOMAN of lord Voldemort??? Pls I need her so bad
Snape being so similar to Tom riddle and Voldemort using that to his favor ( yet making a critical error in killing Lily)
Voldemort using his charm to seduce and win favor and then as his descent into madness thickens, he relies on his magic and their fear more and more for followers
I could go ON and ON about this but I don’t want this too long 🖤 pls discuss in the comments/or replies this is my favorite topic. (This is a safe space to talk abt ur niche headcanons for characterization within the fandom)
its 2025 and the marauders fandom needs to TRULY be ship/let ship. kittywater is perfect, gilderat or wtv idek wtf it is but im here for it, we need to stop saying "ship/let ship EXCEPT... " like ppl don't have 2 love jegulus or wolfstar. heck, i like wolfstar but even if i didnt that should be okay! we need to branch out w peculiar ships! remus x some1 uncommon!, sirius x jamess (the way ppl hate on it is crazy!), peter x more combos cuz being fat doesn't mean being ugly??? (I KNOW thats why sum ppl make him ace oml!) like theres sm characters but so few "accepted" ships!! kittywater is the start of smth great i swear
i agree! crackships are so fun
marauders fandom is so pretentious about their ships and characters as if we didnt make up 90% of them
James didn’t want to take the shots Sirius offered him. His brain was already working at a solid 0.5 synapses per minute and alcohol would blur his thoughts even further.
He wanted to think on this. Puzzle it over, pull it apart, follow all his options around and around like they were the tiny footsteps on the Marauder’s Map.
Forget his whole plan, ignoring Sirius, kissing a random girl. Being straight.
Something much more important had entered his field of vision and he was locked in like a homing missile.
Sirius was gay. Why didn’t it click? Was it the plethora of mystery women he’d bragged about bagging? Or was it James’ own commitment to wallowing, to hunting something he could never achieve. His own marriage to the game, his own boredom of winning.
Would this change his plans? It didn’t have to, logically. But something deep down in James’ gut told him that this needed to change everything. He needed it to change everything.
He was thinking for too long, no doubt boring holes into Sirius’ forehead with his scrutinizing eyes and furrowed brows, and that wasn’t a nice way to react to your best friend coming out to you.
So James decided to be a good boy and take his shots.
“We don’t have to go anywhere.” he said, wiping smears of rum from his lips. “If you like it here, then so do I.”
Turns out the scary part wasn’t admitting to himself he was gay, or even telling his long term girlfriend. It was being gay, existing undeniably in a gay space, with his gay best friend that he was in love with standing in front of him, watery eyeliner framing his perfect eyes, biting his lip, buff arms hanging languidly from the liquor at his sides.
Sirius was simultaneously the most beautiful and horrifying thing he’d ever seen in his life.
And it was time to be a Gryffindoor.
James grabbed one of Sirius’ arms and swiveled them towards the dance floor, the disky-ball Sirius had mentioned sending stars twirling over everything.
He took a deep breath, letting the liquor cloud his whirling mind, letting it take the wheel. “Teach me,” he said. “How a bloke dances in a gay club.”
Sirius had gotten good at faking it. He’d gotten good at the smiles and the flirting and the hinting at women sharing his bed. He mentioned the clubs and changed the pronouns and he got good at it.
He got good at lying to James. He’d never wanted to be good at lying to James.
He’d gotten so good at it that when James and Lily broke up and James needed an outlet to “let loose” that he’d turned to Sirius and asked where he normally went.
And, of course, Sirius had given the name of the only bar he could think of.
One he hadn’t been to in a year, which could be in his best interest now as hopefully none of his old hookups would be there. But still.
He’d very much given the name of a gay bar to newly singly James Potter.
He debated calling in help but Remus wouldn’t understand the urgency. Had never understood why Sirius didn’t go out with it and tell James he was gay. James would understand, Remus was certain. It wouldn’t change anything.
But Remus didn’t know about the countless practice kisses. The times they’d share beds to stave off the cold. Didn’t know that the only reason James couldn’t see Sirius’ feelings was that he’d never thought them possible.
Sirius was a womanizer.
He’d carefully made sure James knew that. Believed that.
Because otherwise, his friend might see. Might see the arms thrown over shoulders, the lingering hugs, the blushes, the smile he couldn’t control at hearing Lily had finally left him.
Things that a straight best friend might get away with. Things that a queer friend wouldn’t.
But then he’d gone and given James the name of London’s number one gay night club.
And he was fucked.
Do not pity the dead Harry, pity the living, and above all, pity those who believe that Sirius Black was short, stupid, overly dramatic, obsessed with his looks, weepy, couldn't perform regular functions without help, and needed to be protected by his boyfriend
marauders fandom hating dumbledoor but loving barty has always confused me
Being in the marauders fandom and also being a dumbledore fan is interesting sometimes
Like I UNDERSTAND why people hate him I really do but I just can't unsee him from being this eccentric grandpa who loves sherbert lemons and wooly socks, has twinkling eyes and a secret tragic gay past
Prongsfoot pipeline:
Man, James and Sirius are besties
Prongsfoot platonic soulmates!!
James and Sirius are more than friends, they’re like brothers
James and Sirius would choose each other over their romantic partners (in a brotherly way)
Haha i love it when James and Sirius joke about being lovers and everyone thinks they’re dating, but they aren’t cuz that would be incest, right?
they were each others first “practice kiss”
they were each others gay awakening
it wouldn’t be that weird if they kissed, right?
Wait… romantic prongsfoot is kinda… but like ironically
they’re in love. its basically canon and its taken over my life
Lawyer Sirius eviscerating his opponents with bullet-proof arguments and biting wit while looking supremely bored.
(James watching him with stars in his eyes like a love-sick puppy.)
this is so rogue but does anyone have the poetry template that went semi-viral on twitter a while back? it was designed for kids but someone gave it to their mother who has dementia and she wrote a really moving poem about her experience.
James didn’t realize it was a gay club immediately; he hadn’t been out in muggle nightlife in years, comfortably coupled up as he had been, and wasn’t quite sure what muggle gay fashion looked like. Or muggle fashion at all. He’d had to ask Remus for aid getting dressed (dress robes did not exactly blend in to the clubbing scene) who was uncharacteristically eager to help.
They’d settled on a a tight t-shirt, cropped to James’ middrift, and embossed with the word “Queen” which he recognized as the name of one of the muggle bands Sirius listened to. Over that he wore a light jean jacket, rolled up to his elbows because it was hot, and a tiny pair of jeans shorts that barely covered his ass that Remus insisted were peak muggle fashion. Used to flowing wizard robes, James had tugged at the bursting seams of the shorts uncomfortably, but he had to agree that his muscled legs did look great in them. He’d then imagined Sirius’s reaction to them, and ashamed, thought it maybe best if he didn’t look great tonight. Wear some baggy pants and a dunce hat as punishment.
Anxious to see what Sirius himself was wearing, James sat on the living room couch, tapping his hands absentmindedly against his bare thighs. Sirius’ couch. The one he’d been sleeping on for the past two weeks while Lily moved out of his apartment. Was it wrong that he’d felt a tad relieved when she flooed him yesterday to say she hadn’t yet found a place to live? That he’d almost offered she just keep their apartment and he move in with Sirius?
Yes. James thought decidedly. He needed to move out before he got the urge to ask Sirius to share his bed.
It had been nice. Too nice. Living with Sirius. The quiet domesticity of it all. He’d accidentally made enough coffee for two the first morning, used to brewing it for Lily as well, but Sirius had happily lapped it up and then made them both dinner the next evening, and so they had fallen into the rhythm of living together. As easy as it was back at Hogwarts, and as easy as it seemed it could be forever. James would sweep the floors, Sirius would put on a record—something with a sexy beat and a raging guitar—and start miming the chords with those nimble fingers of his, and James would join in their air-band using the bewitched broom as his microphone. Soon they’d be dancing up on each other in the kitchen, faces flushed, screaming along to Dorea and The Dwarves.
But they were just playing house. And Although Sirius had ardently promised it could be forever, James knew he’d have to leave at some point before he did something so far out of the realm of platonic that he damaged their friendship forever.
So he’d kiss a girl at the club tonight, move back into his own apartment the next week, and pretend to wallow over Lily for a few weeks after that. It would be easy: he’d already been doing that his whole life.
Determination set in his brow, James stood up then, eager to take the first step towards this bleak future—when Sirius came hurdling into the living room, tripping himself up on James’ feet, and landing on the floor one hand gripped on James’ thigh for support.
A flush crept up James’ leg, over his abdomen, under that tiny Queen shirt, up his neck, and all over his face. Sirius was looking up at his with tentative horror, wide eyes lined with black so his grey irises stood out strikingly. He was kneeling at James’ feet, mouth slightly parted, and a large hand wrapped around James’ bare quad.
Sirius stood up quickly, rising over James so he had to look up to meet his friend’s eyes. This was almost worse. James had to do everything in his power to keep his gaze from wandering down to Sirius’ tight jeans or the shirt stretched across his broad chest.
Gods, James needed some firewhisky NOW.
“Smooth, huh?” Sirius chuckled, not meeting James’ gaze. He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. The one that had just palmed James’ thigh. He didn’t dare look down, convinced he’d see his friend’s fingerprints inked into his bare leg.
“Yeah,” James said, taking a moment to catch his breath. “Seems you’re as ready to head out as I am.”
Sirius took the invitation to leave eagerly, stomping into his leather boots and passing James his sneakers.
James wished he owned those kiddy velcro shows as his trembling hands struggled to do up the laces.
They apparated to the bar—James side-along with Sirius since he wasn’t familiar with the location. It was in Soho, a neighborhood James didn’t frequent, a bustling place that night, the air filled with loud hoots, blinking lights, and the smell of cigarette smoke. Sirius led him out onto the street and down a block until they reached their venue. The Sundown Club sat on the corner of two streets in the basement of a building called the Astoria. A sign outside advertised a disco club called “Bang!”
“A lot of men here.” James noticed, eyeing the long line of 20-something men crowded around the street. They had barely left the house and his Be Straight plan was already falling apart with no potential women to seduce.
Sirius hurriedly mumbled something in response to not having been to the club in a year and how it could have changed from when he used to come and it was “just bursting with birds.”
James wasn’t a fan of imagining Sirius being swamped by drunk girls, so he changed the subject. “Hey, I’ve got you, so as long as they provide liquor and good music I’m content. What’s a ‘disco’ anyway?”
“Oh boy,” Sirius clapped, lighting up, “you’re gonna love it. Just wait till you see the ingenious way muggles light up the dance floor; they call it a ‘disco ball’.”
They made their way inside the club, passing by throngs of men lounging on the stairs. The men, James noticed, didn’t seem like the muggle ones he’d seen on the telly. Their tank tops bore long v-necks and they lay comfortably on each other, arms around the others necks, hands on their lad’s waist a little too low. Not a single girl was in sight. One man gave James an appraising look.
Sirius’ grip was tense around James’ bicep as he led them to the bar. He waved to the bartender, ordering them a round of shots. The man returned shortly with two glasses of amber liquid and refused the muggle money Sirius offered him.
“On the house,” the bartender boasted, “celebrating you finally finding someone.” He pointed his jaw at Sirius’ hand wrapped around James’ arm. “Cute one too.”
It was then that James noticed the word printed on the man’s tank top. ‘Gay.’ His stomach dropped to the floor. This was a gay bar.
How did Sirius know? He’d been so careful. Did Remus tell him? James couldn’t meet his friend’s eye.
“We’re not,” Sirius said tersely, dropping his arm like a hot coal. “He’s not.”
At the same time James said: “He’s not—“
“Ah.” The bartender said disappointedly. “Well, they’re on me anyway, Sirius.”
Sirius downed his shot faster than James had ever seen someone take one. James toyed with his, running a finger along the rim of the glass.
“He knows your name.” James didn’t know what to make of it.
Sirius had gotten good at faking it. He’d gotten good at the smiles and the flirting and the hinting at women sharing his bed. He mentioned the clubs and changed the pronouns and he got good at it.
He got good at lying to James. He’d never wanted to be good at lying to James.
He’d gotten so good at it that when James and Lily broke up and James needed an outlet to “let loose” that he’d turned to Sirius and asked where he normally went.
And, of course, Sirius had given the name of the only bar he could think of.
One he hadn’t been to in a year, which could be in his best interest now as hopefully none of his old hookups would be there. But still.
He’d very much given the name of a gay bar to newly singly James Potter.
He debated calling in help but Remus wouldn’t understand the urgency. Had never understood why Sirius didn’t go out with it and tell James he was gay. James would understand, Remus was certain. It wouldn’t change anything.
But Remus didn’t know about the countless practice kisses. The times they’d share beds to stave off the cold. Didn’t know that the only reason James couldn’t see Sirius’ feelings was that he’d never thought them possible.
Sirius was a womanizer.
He’d carefully made sure James knew that. Believed that.
Because otherwise, his friend might see. Might see the arms thrown over shoulders, the lingering hugs, the blushes, the smile he couldn’t control at hearing Lily had finally left him.
Things that a straight best friend might get away with. Things that a queer friend wouldn’t.
But then he’d gone and given James the name of London’s number one gay night club.
And he was fucked.
but also 45 minutes on bus time is equivalent to ten minutes normal time
ten minutes in bus stop time is equivalent to about 45 minutes in normal time
remus was NOT a casanova
the only marauders described to flirty, handsome, or popular were sirius and james tyvm
this is every poll about the marauders and i for one am SICK of the lies
James had gotten good at faking it. He’d gotten good at the soft touches, roving eyes, and deep kisses. He bought flowers and wrote poems and he got good at it.
He got good at faking it to Lily. He never thought he’d have to fake it with Lily.
He’d gotten so good it at that he almost forgot what attraction really felt like until he accidentally walked in on Sirius stepping out of the shower, wet hair hanging over his forehead.
And James was a good guy, so he told Lily, saying the words for the first time out loud: I’m gay.
It was the most agonizing thing he’d done in his life. After years and years of professing his love, convincing her to go out with him, just to turn around and tell her he never felt a thing at all when she finally loved him back.
What hurt too was that Lily was good. She was beautiful and kind and smart, and she forgave him. But James couldn’t forgive himself for letting that perfect life with her slip from under his grip. The picture perfect marriage like his parents had, the picture perfect kids he and Lily would have had. She would’ve made a great mother.
What hurt most was that he couldn’t confide in his best friend. He couldn’t. But how to keep a secret from someone you shared everything with? When that was the exact reason he couldn’t confide in Sirius; they’d shared everything: touches and hugs and beds and kisses. If he opened up about being gay then he’d have shared that with his best friend too, implicating all of their intimate moments.
James was in love with Lily Evans.
That was a fact of life. At least it was for James, and so it would remain for Sirius.
He’d tell Sirius that Lily dumped him, that she’d given him a chance, but found nothing to come of it. They’d go to a club, get drunk, then he’d make out with some random girl and it would all be okay.
Then Sirius offered they go to London’s number one gay club.
James was fucked.
Sirius had gotten good at faking it. He’d gotten good at the smiles and the flirting and the hinting at women sharing his bed. He mentioned the clubs and changed the pronouns and he got good at it.
He got good at lying to James. He’d never wanted to be good at lying to James.
He’d gotten so good at it that when James and Lily broke up and James needed an outlet to “let loose” that he’d turned to Sirius and asked where he normally went.
And, of course, Sirius had given the name of the only bar he could think of.
One he hadn’t been to in a year, which could be in his best interest now as hopefully none of his old hookups would be there. But still.
He’d very much given the name of a gay bar to newly singly James Potter.
He debated calling in help but Remus wouldn’t understand the urgency. Had never understood why Sirius didn’t go out with it and tell James he was gay. James would understand, Remus was certain. It wouldn’t change anything.
But Remus didn’t know about the countless practice kisses. The times they’d share beds to stave off the cold. Didn’t know that the only reason James couldn’t see Sirius’ feelings was that he’d never thought them possible.
Sirius was a womanizer.
He’d carefully made sure James knew that. Believed that.
Because otherwise, his friend might see. Might see the arms thrown over shoulders, the lingering hugs, the blushes, the smile he couldn’t control at hearing Lily had finally left him.
Things that a straight best friend might get away with. Things that a queer friend wouldn’t.
But then he’d gone and given James the name of London’s number one gay night club.
And he was fucked.
Harry: Albus Severus, you were named after the two bravest men i knew
James Sirius: Well, then who did you name me after?
Harry: ha ha, I’m glad you asked: just the best HP ship, my OTP, true soulmates, lovers
abt kittywater: YOU GET IT! oml. idgaf abt umbridge and hate current fanon reg (how majority portray) but like kittywater needs to become more popular just to watch those people be upset and when they try to explain their biases (misogyny) is revealed. still waiting for a long fic covering a kitty water slowburn and just popular fics that become so niche and referenced. this isn't just a ship for me at this point
exactly !!! canon umbridge backstory is soooo explainable too. squib brother, muggle mother, poor father. she was ashamed of her family and her own failures to become head girl. so she hustled succeeded at her career before 30. she needs to make sure everything is right and perfect.
she hates harry because hes a rich, smart, successful, famous, pureblood at only 15 and he doesnt give a single crap—hes willing to throw it all away and upset the social order to spread fear and rumours that voldemort is back. voldemort being back is NOT perfect or safe.
of course she’d want to tie herself to regulus: he’d be the perfect cover for her lie about her blood status. hes the golden child to a famous, powerful, rich, pureblood family. the blacks are severe and perfect and structured. she could be proud of her family if she was a black. she’d be safe from blood supremacists if she was a black.
as for reg, we don’t have much canon information, but he was a voldy fanboy so Dolores touting on about blood status and ambition all the time would catch his attention, especially when she starts simpering after him and appreciates his love for kreacher (house elves are basically cats. right?) who is his one true love.
Kittywater date night. Making a collage about the Drak Lord.
I’m team kittywater, not because I ship it, but because this fandom has a habit of humanizing the most despicable male characters and villainizing the female.
Barty, the loyal follower of wizard-moustache man (of his own volition mind you; his parents were anti-voldy) who tortured fralice to insanity, bullied neville, and tried to have Harry killed is suddenly a fan-favourite who can do no wrong.
But Umbridge, the worst thing she did was be an asshole and abusive to her students (which is still extremely terrible, just not on the same level as genocide) is all of a sudden unforgivable and more hated than voldemort himself.
i don’t know out of what hole kittywater came from, but i will become a shipper if it means loosing the hold jegulus has on this fandom
who said that 🫣
I beg you I was alone in the darkness with the wolves (I thought no one shipped prongsfoot) I have been suffering in my quest of finding my light (searching the internet all night for prongsfoot content) and I have finally found peace (downloaded tumblr) because there is always light at the end of the tunnel (there ARE prongsfoot shippers and I need all of you to be my moots)
i wanna write a canon!characterization fic now 🫢 my boys have been butchered in fanon
(and i hate remus + wolfstar)
Yah so how the fuck did Remus manage to "forgive" Sirius? And why does everyone in the fandom always take The Prank as an opportunity to make Wolfstar angst... Like...no?
I'm sick of seeing posts that are like "Sirius going back to his house and having a breakdown" "Remus not talking to Sirius to Sirius sends him a letter about how sad and depressed he is because none of their friends are talking to him". Oh my gosh. ENOUGH OF THAT 😮💨
Oh no, the consequences to my own fucking actions--- No SHIT, Remus doesn't want to speak with you. WHY WOULD HE??? And people just completely shove Severus into the corner as if he wasn't also going through something. This fandom man...
Honestly, I’ve never been interested in Wolfstar, and not because I dislike the characters but because it doesn’t make sense to me. I mean, if I had to choose a pairing for Sirius among his friends, for me, it would clearly be James, because Sirius was literally obsessed with him. He wasn’t just his best friend; Sirius’ entire life revolved around James, and even 12 years after his death, he couldn’t move on, to the point of projecting James onto Harry and getting upset when he realized they were two different people. Look, Molly Weasley gives me the creeps, but she was absolutely right when she called him out, saying that sometimes it seemed like he wasn’t seeing Harry but James—because that’s exactly what was happening.
But beyond that, Sirius shows absolutely zero interest in Remus or at least zero empathy. It’s clear that if there was any glue holding the group together, it was James. James had more sense than the two ringleaders combined, or at least more common sense to know where the limits were. He was also the one who took care of Remus when he had nowhere to go after finishing school. My theory is basically that Sirius hung out with Remus and Peter because James tolerated them, and because having a werewolf friend gave him an excuse to act recklessly. If we look at SWM, Sirius remarks that he wishes it were a full moon because he’s bored. He couldn’t care less that for Remus it’s a traumatic moment each month, because for Sirius, it means going out, living dangerously, and messing around with his friends. What’s a trauma for Remus is an opportunity for fun for Sirius. He doesn’t consider what it represents for his friend; he doesn’t show that his reason for becoming an animagus is to provide moral support. Instead, he’s WISHING for the moment his supposed friend dreads most because, for him, it’s an exciting event. That’s not appreciating someone—it’s seeing them as a means to an end, a tool. That’s pure utilitarianism, not friendship.
Now, let’s move on to the facts. In “The Prank,” Sirius doesn’t care about the consequences. He thinks it’s funny and is totally thoughtless because that’s just who he is—someone who was never taught about morals or ethics and who basically chose a different “side” than his family’s just to spite them. He’s a rebellious and chaotic spirit who despises snobbery, and that’s about it. There’s no deeper philosophy, no deconstruction. Deep down, he behaves like any other Black, believing he has the right to control others—whether it’s ending someone’s life if they’re “stupid enough to fall for the trap” (Severus, in this case), which he justifies by saying they deserved it, or using others for his malicious ends (Remus). It’s James who has a modicum of conscience and who thinks about the consequences, stopping Severus because James was taught values and understands that certain lines shouldn’t be crossed. But also, I think James genuinely cared about Remus and probably understood what it might mean for him to end someone’s life.
Then there’s the post-Hogwarts relationship. Remus is always portrayed as being very close to the group when canonically, Peter was the one who was always trailing James and Sirius like a cheerleader. Ultimately, they chose Peter over Remus to be the Secret Keeper. This happened because CANONICALLY, Remus had distanced himself from the group, and CANONICALLY, it was Sirius who suggested Peter because he didn’t trust Remus—thinking he might have joined the dark side. This wasn’t something that came from Lily or James; it came from Sirius. Sirius was the one who considered that Remus might have betrayed them. Is that really what a true friend would think? How can people even consider there’s chemistry or a sexual subtext between them when canonically, Sirius repeatedly demonstrates that he doesn’t care about Remus at all? He only starts paying attention to him years later, after escaping Azkaban and realizing his best friend is dead, and his personal cheerleader turned out to be a traitor who ruined his life. Then, when only the two of them are left standing, Sirius starts giving him attention—but only because he’s the last one left. That’s it. Even Rowling herself described Remus ages ago as “the third wheel in a two-person relationship,” referring to Sirius and James. Seriously.
And let’s not forget that Remus never doubted that Sirius could be a traitor either—he always believed him guilty. It’s funny when they’re portrayed as missing each other, but missing each other from what? Remus thought Sirius was scum the whole time! And how could he not? He’d seen Sirius be cruel, even sadistic, and show zero remorse. It’s no wonder it fit for him to think Sirius had lost his mind.
As for how Remus handled all this, it’s no mystery: Remus is very similar to Severus in terms of his position. He was a vulnerable kid clinging to any lifeline to keep a low profile and feel safe. Sirius and James provided that safety—they made him feel protected and accepted. He never raised his voice or questioned their decisions because the mere thought of being rejected terrified him. Even as an adult, he keeps justifying their crap because he’s clearly incapable of going against those who gave him a place when he needed it. Remus is also a terribly cowardly man—he doesn’t have the guts to confront things. He has a super avoidant personality, which is crystal clear when he leaves a 13-years-younger pregnant woman because he can’t handle the pressure. A 17-year-old kid has to make him come back—is there anything more pathetic than that? At 38? Sirius clearly hurt him, but Remus knew that confronting Sirius meant confronting James, and if James had to choose between the two, he would always choose Sirius. So it wasn’t in Remus’ interest to speak up or express how he really felt because the idea of losing the protection that came with being their friend was far worse than feeling like crap over what Sirius did. That’s it, plain and simple.
Honestly, it’s such a shame and a total waste that everything gets reduced to couples and absurd adolescent dramas when the dynamics among those four “friends” are fascinating because they’re built on pure power relations and are deeply dysfunctional. But instead of exploring that, which I find genuinely interesting, it all gets thrown away, their personalities are rewritten, and it’s all turned into cheap teen soap operas. But whatever.
James is like guys help me pick an outfit because he's finally scored a date with lily and the others already know what outfit to choose but they still make him wear the tightest fits he has first so they have an excuse to admire his bulging biceps and fat ass and touch his body to "adjust the clothes". He remains oblivious to the leers of course.
James: alright, how do we look?
Peter: dunno...turn around for us?
James: oh yeah! [Turns around]
Remus: (groan) Merlin, that is criminal
James: what? Does it look bad?
Sirius: Nope. I think the colors are clashing this time. The pants look fine though
Peter: really fine
Remus: so fine
Sirius: let's change the top then [passes the smallest shirt you've ever seen]
James: okay! :D
everyone has a crush on James bc I said so
marauders fandom: how dare you separate sirius and the deadbeat dad werewolf who never trusted each other?????
Mauraders fandom: Sirius would quite literally die for James and even kill for James
Mauraders fandom: James trusts Sirius the most with his life and the lives of his family
Mauraders fandom: they are so codependent they would literally stop functioning if they weren't around each other
Mauraders fandom: what they have something deeper than best friends, their love transcends even soulmates
Me: nice, oh so we're so shipping them right?
Mauraders fandom: ew what the fuck, no, that's literal incest, what is wrong with you???
Me: wha-you said they were bestfriends???
Mauraders fandom: they are platonic!! Brotherly!! Incest?? How could you ship them?? There's no romance!! Nothing is between them!!
Me: ???
i’m imagining voldemort’s reaction when he realized that (one of) the prophecy child was jily’s kid
that’s why he chose harry over neville, the man was afraid of what the potter’s kid would be like grown up
prophecy: a kid born in july will kill you
voldemort: uh huh sure, ill just smite the baby
prophecy: it’s james and lily’s kid
voldemort: oh FUCK
“And he came… first his head, then his body, tall and untidy-haired like Harry, the smoky shadowy form of James Potter blossomed from the end of Voldemort’s wand, fell to the ground, and straightened like his wife. He walked close to Harry, looking down at him, and spoke in the same distant, echoing voice as the others, but quietly, so that Voldemort, his face now livid with fear as his victims prowled around him, could not hear…”
-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Priori Incantatem, pg. 667
things we know from the Humpty Dumpty rhyme:
- he fell from a wall
- the king sent an entire cavalry to his aid
- he could not be fixed
- the horses were trusted with trying to fix HD
things we can assume:
- HD ate a shit ton of apples prior since a grand total of zero doctors were called to help
- horses have sentience and intelligence in this world, as well as opposable thumbs
- HD is a prince, since he was so valuable to the king, but also had the leisure time to sit atop a great wall
things we can’t assume but we did anyway for some reason:
- HD is a giant talking egg
this cannibal who wishes she was was gods daughter is desperately trying to sleep with you
god wishes you were his daughter. but you’re in a toxic yuri situationship with god’s actual daughter. and you have the hots for this bitch he considers his ex who never truly reciprocated his feelings. and that bitch was secretly in love with your great great great (x100) grandma. who was besties with god.
the worst part about got isnt the incest, its the fact that the incestuous couple is one of the better ones
the doctor in the next season of doctor who should be played by hugh laurie, and he will be literally just playing doctor house as doctor who
and his companion, instead of some random girl, will be wilson
thank you for coming to my ted talk