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Self Help - Blog Posts
People often act like Cuckoos they park their anger frustration depression in other mind and go on stroll
An empty pocket, a starved belly and an anxious eye can teach you thousand valuable lessons than any book ever be
Dealing with a Toxic Parent
So, I rarely talk about myself because of embarrassment but here it goes...I'm 25, soon to be 26 this week and my mother constantly tells me that she'll have me committed to a mental health institution because I don't have a job and her criticism is making my depression, self worth and self esteem worse. I help out in the house as much as I can but it feels like it's not good enough for her. Before getting sick with an autoimmune disease called acne inversa, I tried going to the military but she told me that I couldn't go because I didn't pass the practice test... thinking about it now, she has halted everything that I wanted to do in life and talking to her about it is impossible because it becomes all about her and how I'm not ambitious enough for anything. I'm just tired of pleasing and trying for her to accept me fully.
Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor
Alexis Carrel
Selfie
Having trauma sucks and all but what really blows is that I didn’t even get the kind of trauma that makes you mysterious and edgy and cool— I just have the stupid ass trauma that makes you talk about Warhammer too much
Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety
If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you
If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
People are allowed to be wrong about you
If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect
Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it
The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something
You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it
Most things are better after you sleep on them
Most things are better after you have a meal
Most things are better after you shower
Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"
If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction
If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction
"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier
If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two
You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction
When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery
People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves
If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it
If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable
If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it
If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it
Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step
Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary
If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike
Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP
No one cares what you look like
If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"
People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company
You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you
If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly
You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will
Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable
Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it
Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier
And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
This is cooool!!!!
I made this a long time ago but for some reason never posted! It is my quick guide to protecting yourself against burnout as a person with ADHD and ASD.
Of course it is all about meeting your support needs at the end of the day, which are completely individual and may vary over time, but this could function as a guide if you have a hard time figuring out where to start! 🫶🏻 💙💙💙
HAI IK I WONT GET ANY SOOO...
____ Amount of notes and ill.... (5 notes per person)
5: Clean my room :]
10: Eat 3 meals a day :/
20: Clean my closet TvT (SOBS)
30: Get enough sleep (10 hrs)
50: Let myself take breaks
100: Tell my mom I need a phycologist :] (She said she'll try and find me one :3)
300: Finnally write my story I've been planing
500: Throw away sh blades
Trying to become obsessed with self care the way I was obsessed with self destruction.
"No matter how bad you think you look, someone's always gonna think you're hot." -Paraphrased from a woman thrice my age.
I think the goal is not to be perfect and try to change everything of us (or others too, as we project on them our "dark" sides) but to accept ourselves despite our imperfections and "flaws". No matter how much we try, we'll always end up doing or saying something that can be considered wrong or bad, even unconsciously. And that's completely okay. We interface with different people, and we cannot please everyone or we'll just go crazy. But we need to please ourselves and give us a break. Be kind with ourselves as we're just trying. Appreciate who we are, light and dark. We'll always make mistakes, we'll always make a wrong choice... Sure we can try to change what we really do not appreciate, the coping mechanisms that are hindering and making us suffer (the ones we're not even aware of), but we need to remember there's no recipe to be perfect as there's no real perfection. We can always try to be better but we cannot reach that perfection we aim to as it doesn't exist. We cannot be that to feel accepted and included, to feel seen and valued, to feel less alone: people change their mind as the wind anyway. But we can see all of who we are and welcome our darkest side and try to feel more content and... not make us feel alone by abandoning and neglecting a side of us that still exists and needs our love, even if we accuse it to not let us be accepted by others. Maybe if we accepted it, accepted our whole self, and knew us... maybe we'd feel less alone, more apt to see our light within without having to compare to others and more open to others too.
Why Asking for Help from My Higher Self Worked Better Than Common Spiritual Methods
In my experience, commonly known methods, including Bashar's method, are not as effective as you might think. For example, if you try to follow excitement, the excitement disappears and only tension remains, or if you focus on breathing slowly to relieve tension, the tension becomes stronger, or if you meditate to relieve anxiety and become peaceful, the anxiety becomes stronger. In some cases, I was told to just do nothing, so I spent a few weeks doing nothing, but nothing really got better.
In fact, all the methods I tried seemed to have some effect, but they actually made the problem worse. For example, when there was a fire, it felt like covering the fire with flammable materials. Then, it seemed to work at first, but later the problem got worse. I practiced all the methods consistently for at least a few weeks, and if they were effective, they really caused big problems. They caused anxiety, tension, fear, etc.
The most effective thing was to ask my higher self for help. One day I tried most of the methods that were supposed to work, and I felt that if I continued on, I would be in big trouble. But I didn’t want to give up. At that time, the idea of asking for help from my Higher Self came to me. From then on, I continued to ask for help from my Higher Self. Sometimes I simply asked for “comfort,” “peace,” “joy,” “physical relaxation,” “material abundance and freedom.” Sometimes I asked for “knowledge,” “understanding,” and sometimes I asked for “a certain state of spiritual awakening.” In fact, this help was so subtle that it was hard to recognize. However, when you ask for help, even if it doesn’t happen right away, it will happen a few days later when the opportunity to help you comes.
For example, when you ask for “a state of embodied awakening (a state of heightened awareness, a state where your body is connected to your Higher Self, etc.), you feel a pleasant sensation of subtle electricity and energy flowing through your body. In some cases, the next afternoon, I would suddenly experience strong energy, currents, and pleasant sensations flowing through my body for dozens of minutes.
When I requested astral projection, I spent about an hour or two lying in bed, lost in thought, and then experienced a vibration and a departure from my body. I requested this 3-4 times without any preparation or practice, and it actually worked. (However, it was not as interesting an experience as I thought. I was fully conscious every time, but everything was almost black and white. So I lost interest and stopped.)
When I requested relaxation, I waited for dozens of minutes, and when I briefly lost consciousness of my body or surroundings and fell into a fantasy, I experienced immediate physical relaxation. However, when I was surprised that I had relaxed and turned my attention back to my body, I started to feel physical discomfort again.
When I asked for immediate knowledge and understanding, I experienced that within a few minutes, an idea would come to me as if it were my own, or a few hours later, I would suddenly become interested in a topic and look it up, and the understanding I wanted would just come to me.
When I suddenly felt anxious or uncomfortable, I would ask my Higher Self to make me feel better. And I felt as if the wind was turning against me. It was turning the direction of the wind of anxiety against me and weakening it. And after a few dozen minutes, I could barely feel it.
One day, I became interested in the topic of Reiki and asked my Higher Self to do a sleep attunement. I did it for a few weeks and stopped because I didn’t feel much difference. However, one day, I heard that one of my friends felt strangely relaxed and happy when he was around me.
From these experiences, I learned that the help of my Higher Self definitely exists. Even if you ask once and forget about it, my Higher Self will definitely help you with what you ask for. And it doesn’t have to be for a lofty purpose. Even if you just want to be more comfortable and happy, or just ask for interest, it was enough. The help of the higher self can be very subtle at first. I have often stopped because it actually worked, but the effect was much weaker than I expected, or because the help was not given immediately or very naturally, and I didn't even know that I was receiving help. However, the help is definitely there, and even a little help or knowledge can greatly improve the situation. According to other people's experiences, asking for help from the higher self can seem ineffective at first, but if you ask consistently and repeatedly, you can feel very specific and distinct effects later. I am not at that level yet. However, I have been able to receive considerable help even if it is not to that extent. The higher self has actually allowed me to experience results that are difficult to achieve in the beginning with any spiritual practice, without any effort.
You. Can. Be. Happy. Alone.
This blog is mainly about love, but you can be in love with life without having a small group of friends or a significant other. You can be content on your own!
Listen to music in your bedroom at full volume in your headphones and dance until the sun goes down. Feel every jump hit your soul. It’s the best feeling.
Watch comedies along and laugh as loud as you want!!
Read books! Annotate them just for yourself or future you.
Write letters to the void or to your past or your future.
Talk to yourself. (I do it all the time! It’s the best and does not mean your lonely or ‘crazy’)
Just live your life without the fear of being alone. Being introverted does not mean your broken. If you don’t like parties, don’t go! Stay home on your own and know that it isn’t a bad thing. Be the person who can be happy on their own.
Everyone wants different things! Some people like talking in big groups and sharing their thoughts whereas others like to keep to themselves. Neither needs changing.
The Wizard Liz 💕 I love her so much
WAR IS OVER
The fact that something could go wrong, and I'd have committed su!c!de already, scares me shitless. I have no fucking idea how I managed to not commit with constant su!c!dal thoughts, but I've managed.
you cannot create people’s perception of you. you can only be you and let people think what they want. don’t let it get to you. most importantly, don’t let it control who you are.
Ahhh I was feeling sentimental so please enjoy this comic
Please ignore my crappy handwriting
Reminder
Your pain (physical/mental/emotional) is valid even if nobody can see it
Your pain is valid even if you have no physical symptoms
Your pain is valid even if there is no physical injury
Your pain is valid even if others tell you it's not
Your pain is valid even if you do not have a life threatening disease
Your pain is valid even if you don't have a diagnosis
Your pain is valid even if you do have a diagnosis
Your pain is still valid even if nobody believes you
Your pain is still valid even if you are too "young" for the problem/issue
Your pain is valid even if the health care advisor/anybody tells you that it's in your head
Your pain is valid no matter what the conditions are
Your pain is valid.
Pain does not discriminate between age, gender, race, nationality etc. Just because you can't see pain, doesn't mean it's not there.
Reblog to help others
Hello. My name is Nica. I want to stay anon until I get comfortable and I‘m not good with new people. But my question is, how do you advise someone to deal with their depression? Do you know any remedies that help with chronic sadness? Or panic attacks? My life isn‘t where I want it to be atm, dealing with a lot of stuff and I don‘t have any friends to talk to or get help from. Sorry if I‘m bothering you in the morning I just saw that you‘re leaving tumblr and it triggered an attack and I feel like crying. You were the one blog I liked and how you helped people and now I don‘t have anybody :/
Omg. No, no, no, you're not bothering me at all, & you're not just going to wake up one day & my account is going to be deactivated. I'll tell you all when I'm leaving & chances are I still won't deactivate, just cause. I'm so, so sorry, I didn't mean to trigger you. It was just an idea I had. I used to have really bad panic attacks to a point were my muscles would hurt for days, I had to be taken in an ambulance & put on meds cause I had them daily for like a month. I wouldn't eat, I was constantly snapping on people & irritated. I turned into someone who isn't me. My family noticed the change & pointed it out & I snapped on them for that. It was that bad. And this was recent, this wasn't like 5 years ago, all this happened LAST year. So I know from experience how difficult & painful what you're going through right now can be.
Even though I still have anxiety sometimes, I learned how to stop the attacks from happening, I don't have them anymore. But before then my doctor wanted to put me in a psych ward, (yeah, he literally recommended that) & I took Xanax (& Zoloft for two days) for a while, then it stopped helping, so he wanted to increase my dose. And I didn't want to become an addict or dependent on meds (I personally don't believe in taking meds for mental illnesses), so one day I just decided "fuck it, I'm not taking anything anymore" & I realized in that moment that the decision I made scared me a fucking lot cause I wasn't going to have anything to run to, but ultimately it was going to help me. I had to hurt & pray A LOT before I got better. While I was going through it I felt so hopeless & lost & I started questioning my faith in God cause I didn't feel like anything was changing, I felt worse tbh. I remember one night I just completely gave up & I drove to my mom's house in the middle of the night cause I didn't know what else to do. We went for a walk & talked until the sun came up. I never call my parents when I'm going through something terrible, I always try to resolve my problems on my own, so if I call them it's serious. But with time I got better. And I'm happier. So I'm living proof that you CAN overcome your biggest demons. My advice to you would be to start slow, you won't get better overnight. It's going to take time & it's going to hurt - I won't lie to you, but you WILL prevail in the end. But for now, distract yourself, get on your phone & find a funny video. Give yourself time to breathe & realize you're safe. That feeling will pass & you'll be okay again. & if you ever need someone to talk to to help you calm down, come hop in my dm's & we can hang out until you feel better. You don't have to be alone. & you definitely don't have to suffer alone. I often get people who ask me for advice in handling depression, that's partially the reason I haven't left Tumblr. I wouldn't want to abandon anybody. I'm so sorry you're going through this, honey. I hope things get better for you. Literally if you need me to just stay here for you just to help you, I will. & if you need any more resources in dealing with anxiety/depression, dm me. I'm so sorry for triggering you. I'll choose my words more carefully next time. Bless your heart, I'll pray for you.
💙
Organizations:
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH); 866-615-6464
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI); 800-950-NAMI (800-950-6264)
Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA); 240-485-1001
American Psychiatric Association; 800-357-7924
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Division of Mental Health (CDC); 800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636)
American Psychological Association; 800-374-2721
~•••~
Coping, Advocacy, and Support:
Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Support Groups
The Anxiety Network: Help and Support
Anxiety Central: Forums
~•••~
Medications for Anxiety Disorders (talk to your doctor first):
Cymbalta (duloxetine)
Celexa (citalopram)
Zoloft (sertraline)
Anafranil (clomipramine)
Prozac (fluoxetine)
Paxil (paroxetine)
Xanax (alprazolam)
Klonopin (clonazepam)
BuSpar (buspirone)
Valium (diazepam)
Ativan (lorazepam)
Lexapro (escitalopram)
~•••~
Links:
https://www.counseling.org/knowledge-center/mental-health-resources/anxiety
https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/generalized-anxiety-disorder-gad/resources
https://blog.thetransitionhouse.org/anxiety-help-and-resources-1
https://www.rtor.org/anxiety/
https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Anxiety-Disorders
