Jimin Angst - Blog Posts

when the camellia blooms | pjm

park jimin x kim! reader | 1 | 2

sypnosis: diagnosed with the hanahaki disease, you had only two options - accept a deathly fate, or never love again. 

genre: au, angst, fluff, humor, friends to lovers? maybe.

warnings: many talks of death and dying, namjoon is the sweetest brother omg, unrequited love, swearing, pining, longing, fictional added terms and effects of the hanahaki disease, really sad reader, really sad characters, and lots of angst.

word count: (read author's note)

reminder: this is a sequel. please read part one here; however, this also could serve as a stand-alone, but I would advise you read the first part as well for the full experience.

a/n: i was mauling for a long long long time over whether i should do three parts at most or just keep this one really lengthy, and since i was afraid of losing track if i chose to cut it in parts again, i just decided to make this one quite a bit long. sorry!

"let me try to love you back to life."

"Is that what you think?"

You remember the long pause before your response, a deafening silence amidst the growing tense and suffocating air that evening as you spoke.

You had known then that Jimin regretted what he said the moment he did, but it was too late. He’s already said it, and he’s hurt you.

Jimin looks at you with ache as you stare accordingly at the blank wall, noticing the way your eyes have begun to well up in tears as the familiar feeling of tightness succumbs your throat, light feathers of pink flowers forcefully being swallowed down, "Do you think that I don't remember? That I simply don't care? That I'm just on the fence playing peek-a-boo with death on my door?"

Focusing on you with a heart contrite, Jimin places his bottom lip in between his teeth, eyes meshed together amongst sorrow as he swallows in shame, feeling completely guilty at his preceding words.

"y/n I-"

You then laugh ironically, halting him to a stop.

"Forgive me, Jimin."

Your throat is furthermore burning by each passing second as you direct your gaze at the cause of your painful love, "Forgive me if I prefer to want to spend my last days in peace with the acceptance of my crushing fate. Forgive me for not wanting to die on my death bed sulking and cursing the universe and God and myself and whatever I can for this unfair hanafuckinghaki sickness. Forgive me-"

You uttered every word that night with a sense of despise, a sense of spite, each one a striking arrow shot directly at Jimin's heart.

"-if I choose to pretend to be happy and to be okay for my brother and for your sake." You spit out, last words purposely said with more effect.

Taking a few steps closer towards him, you point your finger accusingly against his chest as your tears willingly fall, lips slightly quivering as your anger all the more increases the moment you two lock eyes.

Your breath is caught at the back of your throat as you look up, finding yourself standing in the very front of Jimin's presence.

You swallow harshly, height difference being of no use as your red eyes focusedly trained on his same ones tower over him, both pairs seemingy battling for agony, "But don't you stand there and accuse me of being indifferent- fucking indifferent of all fucking things towards Sung's death. She was my friend before yours, and losing her hurt just as much as anything else."

You remember crying out, not finding an interest on holding in neither your sobs nor your coughs any longer as you did so right at his face, further recalling how you felt not even an ounce of guilt whatsoever as you purposefully reminded him of your current illness in hopes of making him feel worse.

“y/n please...” Jimin barely utters out, almost visibly fading from the way you raise your voice further in his attempts of cutting you off.

"Don't. Don’t you dare accuse me of ever forgetting that night, because as far as I remember, I was the one who kept inside the pain of losing someone close. I was the one who held you when you cried, consoling you to an unbearable extent that I forgot to console myself." Still looking at him in the eyes, you speak out words of regret as you proceed to cough lightly, the pain inside you endlessly growing that you insisted on passing it to someone else.

One word after another, you could remember physically witnessing the pain in Jimin's eyes.

The way his eyebrows were furrowed together and the glistening streaks that ran along his red cheeks were an evident proof of your success in wounding him, but you didn't care. You told yourself you didn't care. You lied to yourself in saying you didn’t care.

No. You didn't care.

For once, you could still sense that rushing feeling of wanting to lessen the burden of falling in love with Jimin. For once, you wanted to make him feel the pain you've kept inside you for the past two years. For once- for once you wanted to be the cause of his pain, not the other way around.

But that once lasted only as is, just once.

The moment you speak those words against him, your heart begins to ache all the more, the dreaded feeling of guilt and shame and love and pain all united together in rising above your limit as you abruptly collapse onto his arms, growing weak and coughing brutally as the camellias say hello to its desired lover.

You eyes begin to desperately search his as you cling onto him, head proceedingly buried against his chest all the while sobbing uncontrollably, apologies escaping past your visibly whimpering lips, “I-I'm sorry, Chim. I didnt- I don't blame you, I'm so sorry-"

You remember seeing Jimin, just seconds ago having been distraught and practically falling apart from your direct words, somehow manage to gather himself as he stands his ground, still and determined on holding you securely.

His arms are wrapped around you in a protective yet delicate manner, eyes trained worriedly on your fragile state all the while patting your back, tenderly comforting you, “Shh- shh. It’s okay, y/n. Just breathe. Focus on your breathing, that’s right.”

Your breathing has gone erratic, lifting your head a tad bit in order to look at him as you reminisce that night, when you were the one holding him as he cried. "I'm so sorry, Chim."

You remember the first few of your countless apologies which Jimin nevertheminds, holding no other concern than that of which is your state of well-being.

"It's okay, okay? We're okay. Now c'mon, walk with me to the sofa. You can do that right? On three. One, two three..”

Minutes feel like hours as you recall the way Jimin assisted you for a time on end, treating you as though you were a rare delicacy with his manner of tenderness, softness, soft whispers against your ear and soft touches along your spine as he helps you find your amity once more.

Unaware that he is just that — your amity, your armistice.

Sat on the sofa, you continue on controlling your breathing as you inhale in and exhale out, Jimin's voice supple and light by the side of your earlobe as words of encouragement slip past his lips, still slightly red and swollen from his previous cries.

You could practically feel his breath against your ear with the sheer distance between the two of you, the noticeable intimacy of both your positions making you shudder and shut your eyes in an attempt of preserving in place another series of newly blooming flowers.

Standing up abruptly, you look at anywhere but Jimin as you scan your surroundings, all before making a clear statement.

Hesitantly, you whisper, "I think I should go."

Jimin's eyes haltingly falters, confusion capitulating his entire expression before attempting to reach out to you, "So soon? I think you should stay y/n-"

"Why?" You intervene motionlessly.

Caught aback with the benevolence and lack of sentiment in your voice, Jimin unrequitedly stutters as he responds, "Because y-your condition is still not well and I-"

"My brother is a doctor, Chim. I'll ask him to stay with me."

"-I just think it'll be better for you to stay here for a while and rest-"

"Better for me?" You begin, once more keeping his words short, "Or better for you?"

You remember Jimin's widened eyes, clearly not expecting you to say what you did.

"I.." Jimin thinks before continuing, hands grazing yours just as he speaks, "I just want you here. I need you here."

At his words, you remember recalling that exact phrase spoken to you the night Sung died, just when he caught himself falling apart and firstly reached out to you.

You remember the way he stared at you with a sense of longing, a sense of yearning, deeply wanting to convey an emotion you don't- you refuse to understand.

Because you recognizes the love held not only on his eyes, but on his touch, on his lips,

making you want to kiss him, hold him, touch him.

God, you just want to love him.

“Jimin..” Your voice feels light against his face, whispers eluding past your lips as your breath leaves a wisp along Jimin’s plump cheeks, stroking the slightly pink and flushed skin from the sadness it’s undergone not too long ago.

His eyes beam longingly at you, conveying messages that seem foreign to your understanding as your heart palpitates unevenly against his grasp. But it was enough to block your mind, it was enough to drive you wild, it was enough for you to completely lose all sense and thought-process, your brain not reciprocating anything other than what the heart is yearning for.

Him.

And lastly, you remember not being able to hold yourself back as you bring to life the buried words you have kept underground for the longest time.

Your eyes trained directly at his averts down to his lips, the camellias no more blooming as it succumbs to desire, craving no more than to offer him the love you have saved in secret for the past twenty four months, "I love you, Jimin."

Lowly pronounced words as you gaze at him, breath still and steadily fanning the smile slowly forming on his lips.

"I love you too, y/n. You're my best friend."

You remember your conflict, the feeling of pure loss and distraught overtaking you as you remain still. There you were, being loved by him completely, yet it is a love that seemingly leaves you feeling incomplete. Feeling unwhole and broken, feeling void and sunken.

You remember hearing your heart physically crack as you perceive his words, your sight lingering on his own, mockingly filled with a kind of love that you didn't want.

A love that you, quite literally, didn't need.

As soon as you hear what he’s chosen to disclose, you crack an unwilling fictitious smile on your lips just seconds before a hand covers it, your body limpingly maneuvering against Jimin’s hold as you feel your throat contract once more, catching his undivided attention.

Eyebrows furrowed, Jimin calls out in confusion, “y/-”

You remember the endless coughs that had suddenly broke out of you, the worst of what is offered from the Hanahaki being at present time the moment his lips offer a chaffing smile, his concern and sincerity being your death unbeknownst to him.

Coughing vigorously, you push Jimin aside as the overwhelming feeling of sorness and torment leads you to spurt out tears by the corners of your eyes, pushing you to whimper out cryingly. Your back is turned from the origin of your agony as he calls out your name, a voice so quiet yet loud against your hearing, emotionally wounding you as you cry out in pain.

"-y/n..?"

Because you remember a one petal.

And then two, then three,

and you remember blood.

Not wanting to let him see you in such a state that shall most definitely force him to fully understand the meaning of your supposed ‘love’ for him, you run out of his home, opening the door and not bothering to shut it close as you hurryingly exit out.

You ignore all of his calls and pleas as you run

and you run

and you run

and you run

and you cough, thanking the heavens silently as you locate a bus stopped after passing a few blocks.

“y/n wait! Please!-”

You step inside the transportation with no intention of looking back, forcing yourself to cancel out the calls of Jimin's voice, muffled from the reaches of the outside bus doors. A voice that's calling you. A voice that you most definitely would run to if given the opportunity, a chance that excludes coughing and hurting and crying

-and dying.

Ignoring the whispers and talks of the three other passengers inside the vehicle, you avert you tearful sight from and to the driver's concerned gaze as you send a small forced smile his way, meekly stating,

"I don't have any cash on me, but I'm dying in 30 days. You'll let me ride, won't you sir?"

You remember that eventful day, exactly five days ago, one hundred and twenty hours since you had avoided any association with Jimin.

He's contacted you endlessly, knocked on your door several times and even stayed outside your apartment overnight during one weekend, and each time you had luckily spent it over at your brother's. The times he went there though, you were gone and so was Namjoon, leaving him calling out to your brother’s empty studio apartment.

Five days without fits of vicious coughing, yet five days without him.

Is that the sacrifice you have to make to be healthy?

Then, would that be the sacrifice you'd have to make to live?

"Jimin called me."

"AH- Kamchakya!" Your thoughts are finally cut off as you jump at the sound of both your brother's voice and the slam of the door. Stumbling backwards, you barely get the chance to hold your balance as your hand clutches your clothed chest, visibly startled at your brother's sudden presence.

Namjoon had entered your apartment nonchalantly as he shut the door close behind him with no more than a small smack, yet his strength effects the opposite of what is intended.

Eyes widened, you attempt to catch your loss of breath before bending down completely, hands now placed on both knees, "Joon what the hell?! You couldn't have knocked?" Turning aside, you conquest onto throwing the first thing you could find at the genius which he opposingly catches without a beat, throwing the tablecloth right back at you easily as he takes small steps forward, mumbling a small apology afore repeating his previous words, "Sorry. Jimin called me. For the tenth time in five days, may I add."

Rolling your eyes at his bluntness, you contrastingly fail to catch what you once threw as you walk a couple steps back, grabbing the now dirty item and attempting to hide the way your chest tightened by the mere mention of Jimin's name.

"Jimin called you. Congratulations. Would you like an award, big foot?" You joke accordingly.

Now stood up in the kitchen, Namjoon leads on to making himself at home through the means of providing himself something to eat, attempting to hide a small smile dragging its way onto his face out of gladness in finding that his little sister is not letting some pathetic disease affect her overall personality.

"Big foot? That's a new one." Reaching for the bread and peanut-butter, he calmly makes himself a sandwich, as that is the only food he can prepare without failure, all the while strategically conversing in a serious talk with you, "But don't play dumb with me, y/n. You know Jimin and I aren't on good terms right now. Since..." Namjoon trails off, wanting to obviously avoid the topic of your illness.

You sigh, chest heaving as this doesn't go unnoticed by you, of course. Yet not wanting to go down that path in the early morning either, you choose to passively ignore the way he quickly averted his eyes away from you and let him continue.

Clearing his throat surreptitiously, Namjoon proceeds to act indifferent towards the newly formed tension, "-anyway, he and I aren't okay yet but he's still called me for the tenth time, and I finally answered. You're telling me you aren't even a tiny bit curious on what Jimin and I spoke about?"

You've now sat yourself on the kitchen counter, careful not to hit your head on the overtops as you habitually clean up the mess your older brother had habitually started on creating, "I'm not curious, Joonie, because I don't need to ask."

"Mhm, is that so?" Namjoon turns around to look at you, his head somewhat tilted sideways as he proceeds to happily munch away his sloppy and disgusting-looking meal, "You already know what he said then?"

Neatly putting away all the ingredients of which your brother has taken out, you begin to shift in your spot as you look down at your now wobbling feet which you noticed have too begun to unconsciously shift and play with one-another.

You respond hesitantly, letting out another sigh, "Probably asking how I'm doing? Telling you to say sorry to me for him? A bunch of sappy stuff, I bet. He didn't even do anything wrong."

Smiling every so slightly, Namjoon nods his head meekly as he makes his way to the fridge in order to grab some water, throwing his sandwich in the trash bin in the process, "Yeah.." he pauses before chuckling softly, "-that's our Jimin.. Holy shit that sandwich was fucking disgusting by the way. Aish-" He curses before pouring some of the cool liquid on a glass and desperately chugging it down, tears forming around his eyes as he scoffs in distaste.

Confused and surprised, you check to see the bread if its begun to form any mold, which you find none.

"Huh, I wonder why. The bread is good." You say just before stepping off of the counter carefully, "-can't believe you managed to fuck up a sandwich, Joon. You really do suck at cooking, don't you? Well I guess, food in general." You addingly joke, which Namjoon, in contrast, takes complete and total offense to.

Yet just as he is about to bark back at you with a Nobel Prize winning poetic insult, you unintentionally proceed, therefore cutting him off.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure to leave you the recipes of your favorites before I leave, okay?"

Smiling at him innocently, you find no flaw in your choice of words, making your brother's heart ache without warning as you look up at him with a tilted head.

"I know how much you love my cooking anyway, no matter how many times you claim that you don't." You laugh lightheartedly, "I might forget though, since I forget everything- but hey, Jimin cooks a little bit too, so just go to him whenever you miss my cooking, yeah? I know you guys fight a lot but please try not to once I'm g- mph!"

Pausing, your voice is unexpectedly muffled as your lips come in sudden contact with your brother's shoulder, completely quieting you down.

Taking a moment to fully comprehend such an unforeseen situation, it wins a small while for you to come to notice that he has completely submerged yourself in a tight embrace, both arms wrapped around your waist as his chin is placed right on top of your head.

You didn't know how to react.

It is without a doubt that you and Namjoon are close, don't get this wrong. And furthermore are there the endless comforting shoulder rubs and thoughtful words of advice from time to time, but a hug? A hug is usually where the two of you draw the line, both finding an unspoken mutual perspective on personal space.

So to find yourself in his position, with both your hands up in the air by the side of his waists as you remain frozen from the abrupt fright, you remain still, the only thought being in your head is how the last time that the two of you practically hugged this long was back from your parents' passing.

That being thirteen years ago.

Namjoon, on the other hand, does not give a flying fuck as he feels nothing but yearn for you. Your previous words has caused something inside of him to trigger and suddenly feel a certain lack of your warmth and existence, which he hates.

Don't worry, I'll make sure to leave you the recipes of your favorites before I leave, okay?

That's exactly what you had just said.

-please try not to once I'm gone.

You would have added.

His mind is in disarray, his medicinal IQ of 148 fading into an 8 as his thoughts are gathered in shambles, trying so desperately to rid of the now forming vision of a future without your not-so-bad-but-not-good-either cooking, a future without your Namjoon please get a liscense nagging, a future without your unbearable teasing, a future without-

a future without you.

How could he wake up to a future that's missing his little sister?

Namjoon is an orphan now. You both have been for thirteen years. The orphaned doctor, he would sometimes call himself.

And thirteen years ago, this orphaned doctor swore as he looked upon his parents' opened casket for the last time that he will never abandon his sister. Thirteen years ago, this orphaned doctor cried as he smiled against the clear plastic on his dead mother's pale box, swearing under oath that he could never let an accident take his sister away too. Thirteen years ago, this orphaned doctor choked back tears as his hands leave prints against the plastic of his father's case, promising to keep the strength he trusts his dad would have asked of him to endure. Thirteen years ago, this orphaned doctor painfully smiled as he kneeled down and looked at you, your black gloves of mourning beginning to dampen as stains become visible from your attempts of wiping away your brother’s tears.

Thirteen years ago, Namjoon mentally vowed in his deceased father and mother's name to always prioritize you first, determined in a future of being his little sister’s hero as he lastly placed a bouquet of soft pink camellia flowers on top of his parents' shared grave, squeezing your smaller hand intertwined with his.

Thirteen years ago, he was only thirteen, yet he had been the father and the mother and the brother his eight-year old sister needed.

Namjoon didn’t realize when he started crying.

At this point, the both of you are now on the floor, the age difference having been confusing as you are the one cradling you older brother tenderly.

Your once frozen hands are now soft and delicately wrapped around his back, rubbing in circular motions as you mouth words of comfort against his ear. Dampness could be felt on your shoulder down to your chest as your brother maneuvers while sobbing silently, head now seemingly permanent on the base of your neck.

Does being sick always come with scenes like this? You think to yourself.

"Shh, Joon. C'mon it's okay. Shh, it's alright," You coo softly, your own tears subsiding as you don't care of much other than your brother's current distress, "Joonie, c'mon. Seeing you like this is breaking my heart."

Okay scratch that, your tears aren't subsiding, they're sliding.

"Joonie..." You whisper softly yet desperately, wanting nothing more than to console your brother ever so leniently, "-please stop crying."

Suddenly, you feel Namjoon halt as he abruptly pushes away from you at an arms length, hands holding both sides of your shoulder as his reddened eyes direct yours before making the suggestion,

"Get the surgery."

Truly, that was not the right time to bring up the surgery, of this Namjoon is certain.

And to be honest, he doesn't even have a clue whether there is a right time to bring up the surgery. But he's become overwhelmed and desperate, wanting nothing more than to guarantee your life be saved. So although the timing doesn't match, he allows the situation to happen and chooses to not take back his previous words, instead facing whatever you decide to let on. Fate shall take its course.

Caught aback, you look at your brother bewilderedly, "What?"

"Get the surgery, y/n." He sniffingly repeats, nose still red and mouth still dry from his previous and still cooling breakdown.

"What are you talking about, Joon?” You smile slightly, eyebrows knitted and confused. “What surgery?"

"y/n," Namjoon begins, voice short and desperate, "I told you about this, didn't I? I was training for medicine a few years ago, yeah? I was an intern volunteering. My superior's patient had the disease, th- the Hanahaki disease, right?" Namjoon speaks relentlessly as he becomes breathless, looking slightly crazy as he rambles over a particular memory which you have no recollection of discussing with him.

"His name was Jung Hoseok, one of the first ten Hanahaki surgery recipients. He survived, y/n. The surgery was a complete success. He's alive even to now and I also still have his contact saved in my phone. Look-"

"Wait wait wait," You shake your head, hands coming to stop his phone-reaching hands all the while trying to process the vast information suddenly provided, "-the Hanahaki surgery? The surgery you did a Science project on that I helped you with during your senior high school year? F-flower Chowder? The Flower Power?" You finish, grinning at the newly found memory yet just moments before frowning entirely,

"Joon, you're telling me to get the Flower Power?"

Namjoon inhales a short intake of breath as he looks down and shuts his eyes, dreading the soon-to-be-happening conversation, "I know this seems crazy but-"

"Yeah no shit, it's crazy."

"Just hear me out oka-"

"This is really bat-shit off the walls crazy, Kim Namjoon!"

"-it's medicine, y/n. It's not really crazy-"

"medicine. my. ass."

"-it's been successful each time it was performed, and-"

"Joon just stop it!"

"-it's the only way to save your damn life!"

With wide eyes you blankingly stare at him, scoffing in disbelief at his sudden raise of voice, "Save my life? Then what? I go to live like a fucking robot for all eternity? Lose all my emotions and live as some kind of cyborg? We aren't in a fucking sci-fi movie, Joon!"

Processing your words, Namjoon does understand your point; but he's become helpless, the helplessness making him reckless, the recklessness making him desperate, and the desperation leaving no room for understanding your point, "A robot is still alive, y/n."

All in all, a reckless mess.

"A robot is still al- what?! Joon, are you hearing yourself?" You speak incredulously.

No, truth to be told, Namjoon is not hearing himself.

"I don't know what you think this, but I am not about to turn into some kind of sim with no feelings. Both you and I know that I would rather die as I live than live as I exist to be nothing more than just that, existing." You speak threateningly, "Don't you ever make me go through that, Joon. Not even as a last resort and not even when I'm not awake anymore to defend my point."

Holding up your right pinky finger, you raise your eyebrows, staring at him expectantly, "Promise me."

Namjoon glances down at your raised finger, jaw clenched and gaze hesitant. Yet just as he proceeds to reach forward in order to seal the deal, he speaks one last time, defeated, "And what if it is the last resort, y/n?"

You look at him, eyes downcast as you begin to subconsciously lower your hand as he continues, "What if you're moments away from leaving me? What do I do? Do I just let you die? Do you really expect me to just let you die even wh- when there's an option to take where you can live?" Namjoon is breathless as he speaks, voice desperate in convincing you.

Sighing, you lower your head slightly, "Joon, I already told you that I'm okay. I'm ready. I've accepted it-"

"But I haven't." Namjoon cuts you off, his words serving a stab at your heart.

"I haven't accepted it. I won't accept it." He takes hold of both your hands, lowering his height so that the two of you are on same eye level afore smiling sadly, "I've lost both our parents, y/n. I've accepted that. I've lived with that. But you can't ask me to accept losing you either because I don't think I'll be able to keep myself sane without you around. I need you, y/n. You're my sister, my anchor, God, you're my lifeline. You've kept me going for these past thirteen years, and I love you. I love you so so so so much, nae yeodongsaeng." He finishes, your heart crumbling at the sight of his flooding eyes.

"And I'm sorry if this is somewhat unfair to you, but please." Namjoons cries out, voice barely above a whisper as he sheds diring tears, "-please choose to try. Choose to try to live.

-If not for you, please do it for me."

"Fuck you Namjoon." You curse mutteringly, voice low and steady as you stand in front of Jimin's door for the past ten minutes.

You twist and turn like a little child as you curse mentally, feeling dread throughout your entire physicality and not at all wanting to continue with your plan. Nonetheless, you remind yourself of your brother's desperation and of your reasons for doing this.

For your brother, you cheer on.

"Okay. Okay! I can do this." You jump up and down, feet bouncing lightly against the hard ground, repeating the same phrase over and over again, "I can do this."

Turning to knock, your mind then suddenly flushes with dread as you subconsciously retreat back to your car, hands waving frantically around, "I can't do this."

"y/n?"

You freeze.

Fuck.

Hands still amidst the air, you stay still, unbelieving of the situation.

"y/n? What are you- is that you? Am I seeing shit right now?" He mumbles the last words to himself, which he silently thanks goes unbeknownst to you as you stay frozen, feet glued onto the ground and heart beating out of your chest at the familiar sound of his voice.

Hesitating, you muster up the determination to slowly turn around.

Your throat tightens once more all the while your heart contrastingly does backflips as you physically see him for the first time since five days and-or one hundred and twenty hours and-or a very painful long time for someone who's in love with someone.

"Hey, Chim." You meekly call out, trying to hide the anxiety creeping in within you.

Jimin, still processing your presence after countless failure of trying to see you, steps forward lightly, eyebrows furrowed as he evidently attempts to figure out the right words to say, "Hey."

"Hey." You wince as you attempt a grin.

Jimin's lips form a tight smile, "Hey."

.

.

.

Shit, this is so awkward.

The thought enters the both of your minds as a seemingly unprecedented tumbleweed passes by.

Clearing your throat, you notice the way Jimin looks down at his fiddling thumbs and curious little pinkies as you speak out once more, trying to ease the visible tension, "So are you going to invite me in or what?" You laugh breathily, chest heaving up and down in desperation of holding in those God-awful petals.

Jimin looks up at you with wide eyes, breathing a sigh of relief as he nods his head repeatedly, "Right- right! Yeah come in. This is your home too, you know." He speaks as he holds out his keys and turn to unlock his door, not noticing the way you've weakened among with the just fallen petal that silently wisped past your lips.

This is your home too, you know.

It's insane how such light words could make a person feel so lost and contracted.

Seven simple words that were spoken without a thought have you in a dazed mentality, hand tighteningly gripping your clothed heart before faking a positive expression as he turns around to face you.

"You can head inside first." Jimin shows that beautiful smile, moving aside as he lays his hand out in the direction of his now opened abode.

You only nod in return as you waste no time in entering, mumbling a small 'thanks chim' as you pass by.

He then follows soon after, set and determined on making you feel at home as he steps forward.

Yet a sight goes inevitable as your head spins around a moment barely passing as you enter his home, catching the vision of Jimin accidentally stepping on the camellia flower, the fragment that symbolizes your unrequited love, your pain, which lay on the timid ground, cracking it in half.

It seems the universe really is telling you something.

You ponder to yourself as you gaze wanderingly, the now torn petal not leaving your sight.

Smiling ironically, the formidable occurence somehow boosts your acceptance of the situation at hand as you make your way to the sofa, speaking aloud even more so formidable words, "We need to talk, Jimin."

Just moments before sitting down, Jimin remains still, eyes glazing at you directly for a second before gathering himself and proceeding to act indifferent, "Of course."

Jimin. He thinks.

Not chim, Jimin.

"Jimin I-"

"No please-" Jimin cuts you off as you begin to speak, "Please let me say first what I've been keeping inside for this past week of being avoided by you."

You didn't know whether you were supposed to take offense or not, yet nonetheless you decide

"-just wanted to let you know that I'm getting surgery."

I can't believe she's calling me Ji- "What?"

You smile empathetically, "I'm getting surgery, Jimin."

part 3, maybe?

taglist: @itsdingdong @honeyd99 @010op10 @chubsjmin @outropjmm @nynhope

when the camellia blooms | pjm

park jimin x kim! reader | 1 | 2

sypnosis: diagnosed with the hanahaki disease, you had only two options - accept a deathly fate, or never love again. 

genre: au, angst, fluff, humor, friends to lovers? maybe.

warnings: many talks of death and dying, minor character death, pain, unrequited love, swearing, talks of past sexual experience while intoxicated, pining, longing, really sad reader, and lots of angst.

word count: 7.2 k

"you would die for her, for him."

"You're dying."

The two words escape past his lips steadily and breathily as your widening eyes linger on the way his hands fiddle with one another out of habit. He sighs deeply and resists the urge to avoid screaming at you and maintain eye contact out of professionalism, pushing back his slipping glasses.

"At this rate, you won't have any more than a month. Had you told me this sooner, y/n, the results wouldn't have been as scarce. But because you waited after almost a year of this, I'm afraid there's not much to do." He pushes his desk lightly to pull away from it, creating a mere distance between himself and the papers which finalized your future's passing. Reaching his collar, he tugs on his tie to loosen it before unbuttoning the first stitch as he looks at you with seemingly stray and angered eyes mixed with sympathy.

Suddenly, his sight wanders the room as he shakes his head repeatedly, scoffing in disbelief. He then smiles, dimples prominent, lip tightened, eyebrows furrowed, and eyes broken, piercing straight at its target - that being you.

Standing up, he takes off his glasses and slams his fist onto the chair's arm rest before running a hand across his hair, softly hissing.

The professionalism is now out of the drain, "You're an idiot, y/n."

"Fucking stupid. How could you not- I mean- how could you not tell me? I'm your brother! We're family. Blood. We're supposed to- we're supposed to tell each other these things and you just fucking- you kept it to yourself all these months! Ten months! And now I'm sitting here being the one to tell you that you're dying? That you're leaving me? I would've done something. I would've helped you, I- I would've killed whoever this person you're in love with is. y/n, please- I just-"

You don't know why, but you felt exhausted.

The ringing in your ears is deafening. Truthfully, you hadn't heard a single thing the minute you received news that you'll be, well, passing away. Not to mention, within 30 days time.

It's not as if you didn't already know about your condition, of course you did. Coughing soft pink camellia flowers every time you see the man that's brought you here is not exactly something that just simply passes a blind eye. You sense it, you feel it, and it hurts.

It really, really hurts.

You also felt awful for your brother. You hadn't meant for it to go this far. You didn't mean to not tell him. You didn't want your assigned doctor to suddenly call in sick and have your brother temporarily take his place. You didn't mean for him to find out this way - such a twisted, horrible fucking way, but here you are.

"I'm sorry, Joon. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to go this far. I just-"

"Were you ever even going to tell me?" He cuts you off, voice low and steady, almost afraid of your coming response.

Your eyes locate his across the cramped room, and one could clearly tell that it's striving its hardest to fight against desperate tears.

"I- yes, Joon. I was. Of course I was. I was gonna do it after this check in actually, but I guess God wanted you to find out sooner than I intended, though He could've just waited a little while longer and it would've been fine." You joke whisperingly, the heavy weight of your heart lightening just a small bit when you notice the corners of his lips twitch and his eyes faintly soften.

Regrettably, that was a lie. You didn’t plan on telling him, not today at least. Maybe not even ever.

The softening air lasts for only a second as his following question makes you hold back the urge to cough up another camellia flower slowly blooming its way to your throat.

"Who is it?"

Genuine, concerned, curious. These were all that he was.

But noticing the way your body went entirely rigid at his words and the way your hand clutched your clothed chest in attempt to shut down what you know will happen next, Namjoon's brotherly instincts causes him to naturally make his way towards you softly, taking small and careful strides towards your fragile state.

And once he's finally reached you, he gets on his knees gently in order for him to be of nearing same height level as you're sitting down, his hands rubbing the back of your hand in a comforting manner.

He does this all before pulling the trigger.

"Who are you in love with, y/n?"

two years back

"Jimin!"

You call out your brother's best friend loudly, who is currently in the midst of doing a one-man stage play in front of the mirror, "Joon's saying you guys need to get going now. Says he has a patient in two hours and wants to go over all sorts of documents before treating her."

Turning around, you scan the living room and dining room for the keys of your friend's car as your brother also asked you to hand them to him since the two always end up on forgetting it until they've already reached the car parked across your apartment's block.

You hear Jimin shuffle behind you, "Really? He wants to go over documents at- 9 AM in the morning?"

Smiling at his attempts of complaint, you nod your head softly in order to play along and answer his rhetorical question, "He really needs to learn how to drive doesn't he? Since he's dragging you along everywhere he goes."

Jimin laughs at your statement, which being an opinion, your brother would argue, 'driving isn't a necessary aspect of life.' But who really thinks like that? Oh right, non-drivers.

“I guess he’s getting too caught up in learning medicine that he forgot to learn how to officially become an adult.” Reaching above the kitchen top, you finally found sight of Jimin's car keys.

How did it even get up there? You think to yourself. It's really high up, so Namjoon must've been the one to leave it as to where it is.

You groan slightly, "Joon, can you get over here! I found Chim's keys but it's too far up high so I can't reach it. Hell I don't even think he can reach this-"

You are cut off when you feel a hand sneak around your waist, making you flinch and suddenly spin cautiously.

Eyes widened. Lips parted. Breath hitched. You let out an inaudible gasp as you come to the realization that Jimin is now in front of you, head tilted with an amused smile on his face, "Excuse you? I can very much reach this." He says, all the while reaching up behind you, inchly leaning forward. At this point, your body is being pressed up against the kitchen counter and his oh-so-very toned front.

This small action is enough to instigate a flaming abyss inside of you as you very much attempt to calm your alarmed heart.

You can feel the cuts and lines of his abs against your chest as he is now standing on his tippy toes, desperately trying to reach the keys on the kitchen top. Anyone that could see his posture would call him adorable, but your body is currently being sandwiched and by all that is high and mighty your mind can't even really process a single thing. Wait, what were you thinking just now?

"See? Got it." Jimin falls back in place as he jiggles his car keys in front of your stone-cold face, smile wide as he giggles softly, "Piece of cake, y/n."

He then proceeds to move on with his life like he didn't just do what the fuck he just did.

Clearing your throat, you blink about a million times in order to gather your thoughts. Your heartbeat is racing faster than the speed of light and your lips have become as dry as a desert. If you had gone standing on your tippy toes just as he did, you would've been a baby hair away from lips touching. The thought is enough to make you grow weak.

Yet as if something inside of you is suddenly turned on, no pun intended, you remind yourself that these thoughts are wrong. You can't be having these apprehensions, they aren't right. Because not only is he your brother's best friend, he also has a-

"y/n?" Jimin's soft voice calls out your name.

Breaking out of your trance, you turn to see him sitting down on the dining table, head tilted downwards with a small smile on his face. The sun escapes your pastel curtains as it slips past the window sill, reasoning with the current ray of golden yellow that has found its home on Jimin’s plump cheek, shining on the left side of his luminous face.

It's absolutely senseless how he can look as beautiful as he does simply by existing, and it makes perfect sense that your finding yourself to liking him more and more.

Just look at him.

You are broken out of your enchanted daze once more as dreaded words leave his smiling lips, "I'm gonna ask her to marry me."

Only then were you brought back to your inadequate reality.

“W- what?” You attempt to speak, but you notice the way your voice has suddenly become noticeably hoarse.

Jimin looks up at you with a smile, the kind that has his eyes almost disappearing.

“Sung. I’m gonna ask her to marry me tonight.”

silence.

silence.

and more silence.

Like a coward, that was all what you could muster to respond with.

And only then did you notice the velvet box on his hands, upon which he is tenderly caressing. Only then did you recognize the questionable romantic script of his one-man stage just moments earlier. Only then did you realize that the reason behind his growing smile are because of her, not you. Not because of what had just taken place.

Only then did you remember that no, you can't be having these apprehensions - they aren't right.

Because not only is he your brother's best friend,

he also has a, now upcoming, fiancé.

present time

"I already loved him then, Joon."

By this time, your brother has stood up and begun pacing back and forth the modest office, murmurs of curses towards his friend escaping past his lips, "-that small son of a bitch."

Smiling softly, you look down in reminiscence of the moments you have spent falling for Jimin. "I guess I've always been infatuated with him ever since our first meeting, but my God Joonie," you pause, inhaling a short breath in attempt to stop tears threatening to spill. "-ever since that day, when he told me that he was going to propose to her, I finally realized that like was the wrong term to use. I realized that I loved him and I just- I lost sight of everything." You cry, small sobs coming from you as you blinkingly look up to try to contain the waters forming in your eyes.

It was true. That day, when he told you about his plans to ask her to marry him, you've never felt more indignant.

Of course you faked it at first, congratulated him and consoled him into truthfully believing that she will undoubtedly say yes. But the minute he and Namjoon left your apartment, you collapsed on your carpeted floors, sobbing loudly and hitting your chest repetitively all the while cursing yourself in your head for ever even considering the tiniest of possibilities that you and Jimin could ever happen.

You also went out that night, got drunk, found a guy, slept with him, and never looked back.

Sure, this may seem like a regular night out for many, but not being the type to kiss and sleep, sex meant a lot to you.

Nothing wrong with one night stands, that just wasn't your particular chosen lifestyle. But you were wasted. You were intoxicated. You didn't know what you were doing. Had you been sober, you wouldn't have done what you did, especially with the person you did it with. So when you woke up in the middle of the night naked in bed next to a familiar face and realized what you've done, you rushingly stood up, got dressed, and left, ignoring the calls of the man you had just been with.

You went straight home and washed yourself for hours, feeling dirty and sloppy and disgusting. You can easily recollect sitting down in the showers, head tucked underneath and in between your legs, sobbing and crying loudly as the steam surrounding you from the warm water kept on worsening.

You hated what you did, and you most definitely despised the reason for what you did, - to simply get over someone else. You felt guilty. You felt ashamed. What would Jimin think? You thought to yourself. And though that truly didn't really matter, the ache in your heart kept on making you believe otherwise.

You didn't notice how your tears have fallen and stained your newly-bought jeans until Namjoon's hands holding a napkin comes within your perception.

Mumbling a small 'sorry Joonie,' you accept his offer and wipe the tears still continuously streaming down your now reddened, warm, and puffy face. As you do this, you furthermore catch sight of your brother's shadow rubbing his face in frustration, matching the groans that you also hear release from him in the background. And without meaning so, you deflate in insecurity.

Hearing the sound of air being released from a pulling force, you look up to see that Namjoon has sat back down, his elbows resting on the desk while his chin rest on his hands. "Does he know about this, y/n?"

You sigh, "No."

"Are you going to tell him?" You hear him ask once more.

Closing your eyes and sniffing lightly, you inhale a steady breath as you answer him for the second time, "I don't know, Joon."

Namjoon looks at you, eyes full of worry and concern. You don't know?

You're his sister, and he loves you. He would do anything for you. If he could shower you with all the love that you lack from Jimin, he would. And he would do it in a heartbeat. But you're dying. You're leaving him. And he doesn't know what to think. He doesn't know what to do. So how could you not know? How could you sit here, in front of him, after keeping this shit for ten months to yourself, tell him that you just don't know?

He feels frustrated. Frustrated over the clearing fact that if you don't know the answer to that simple yes or no question, then how more could you know the answer to when he asks you to make the choice?

The choice - to love or to die.

A very careful, unprecedented surgery that has been performed by professionals only a few times, yet each one has been successful. This seems easy, yeah. A surgery to save your life? Of course you'll do it! But there's a reason as to why this has been done only by a certain small count.

To perform the surgery and live, the price is not the expense, but rather the loneliness that shall come as you spend the rest of your life void of emotions. The surgery doesn't get rid of love on its own, it gets rid of everything that comes with it - happiness, sadness, trust, pain, pretty much everything that one can possibly feel. The only emotion left is indifference, yet even indifference lacks its self-sustainability.

Who would want to live like that?

Who would want to live a life where you just simply exist and nothing more?

He knows that the day will come eventually - when he offers you the choice, the chance to save your life, and he knows it will come soon. But right now, he has chosen to prioritize being a brother over a doctor. Right now, the only thing in his mind is comforting you.

"Okay." Your brother nods, making your eyes widen slightly in shock.

Okay? No scolding? No 'how could you not know?!' older brother reprimands? But then you remember, oh yeah. You're dying. And who could possibly scold their dying little sister?

"I'm sorry Joonie-" You try to apologize once more before he cuts you off again.

"No, don't apologize, y/n. It's not like you could've possibly wanted for any of this to happen, yeah?" He offers you a smile, but you could easily see past its fabricated purpose, "But instead let me ask you this. And I need you, in our deceased parent's name, to be completely honest with me."

You only nod, completely submissive and understanding of his seriousness the moment that he mentioned your passed parents.

"What you just told me, when you first fell in love with him, that was two years ago." He starts, making you nod again in agreement.

"But you were diagnosed only ten months ago."

Your heart drops, and you don't nod again.

"The Hanahaki Disease is not something that gradually begins and comes to existence over the course of time. It is an illness that is triggered. It could be by a sudden forthcoming realization or proclamation of love, or by an event that triggers the heart to completely shut down in overwhelmth. Either way, basing on the timing of what you've said, you should've been diagnosed with the Hanahaki two years ago. But you weren't."

Namjoon eyes you questioningly, but not too much to the extent that you feel uncomfortable, only just enough to remind you of the importance of this conversation, "You were only diagnosed ten months ago, y/n. Why?"

You sit still, not wanting to move, as if your stone figure would somehow make him think that you're not real or that you're a simple figment of his messed up imagination.

"y/n, what happened ten months ago?"

He finishes his question and you swallow harshly only to realize that you're parched, your throat completely dry. You then tilt your head to steal a gaze at your brother, making you catch the way his eyes suddenly widened as if he just realized something of high importance. As if he had just realized the answer to his own question. And that didn't work with you.

Clearing your throat, you are about to answer him in order to cut off his thoughts until the door swings open and you feel your throat compact, - the coughs of a camellia flower slipping its way to visibility -because there he is,

the man of the hour.

"y/n." He noticeably breathes a sigh of relief before making his way to you, engulfing you in a giant embrace. "I was so worried about you. Why didn't you tell me you had the Hanahaki? How could you not let me know? How long have you had it? Who is it? I swear I'm going to murder whoever this piece of shit is that he dared ever making yo-"

"Jimin this is a professional space between a doctor and his patient." The two of you pull away almost exactly the same time as soon as Namjoon speaks up, Jimin's eyebrows furrowing, "Get out."

"What?" Jimin barely gather the voice to ask him as he is completely caught off guard of his friend's erupting vulgar attitude.

"I said-" Namjoon speaks before getting caught off again.

"No trust me, I heard what you said. But what?" Jimin repeats himself, "So you're telling me you're not prioritizing being y/n's brother right now? You're still caught up in this Doctor Kim bullshit? Like you're a real one?"

"Jimin-" You attempt to budge in, sensing that a certain trouble may suddenly come knocking.

"No, y/n. Listen hyung-"

"No, YOU listen. You small piece of shit." Your brother raises his voice, "-don't come barging in here like you own the place or like you have any authority over her. She is MY sister and this is a family matter. So it's best you stay out of it and keep in your lane."

At this point, Namjoon is in front of Jimin, a short distance separating the two of them, "And don't you ever dare speak to me in that tone again. I know you're my friend, but remember to treat me with respect. Not only am I your superior, but I'm also your hyung." He finishes with a serious voice, tone low, and message deep. His earnest eyes piercing through his friend's pained ones.

Jimin, mouth slightly agape being at loss for words and clearly confused at his close friend's unreasonable anger, storms out of the room.

But not before he drags you along with him.

Namjoon is quick to act as he tries to reach for you, but you turn back and look at him pleadingly, signaling him that it's okay and to not worry. And him being the understanding brother that he is, pulls back and holds himself steady.

You can handle him. You’re a Kim. You’re strong.

Strong enough to survive through this.

You’ll be okay.

And as he watches the two of you leave, the door closing shut right in front of him, only then does reality hit Namjoon as his legs tremble abruptly, feeling lightheaded all of a sudden.

Falling down the floor, he reaches onto the desk for assistance as he slides his back down the wooden wall, hands painfully fisted and finding its way to cover his mouth in order to muffle the choked-in sobs perilously escaping him. He proceeds to blink away the tears and bite harshly on his lips, trying to diminish the flourishing grievance in his heart.

His sister is dying, and he doesn't know what to do.

“Doctor Kim? The next patient is ready to see you.” A knocking nurse distracts him and calls out from behind the door, “-shall I send them in?”

Namjoon sniffs heavily and sighs deeply, rushingly grabbing his glasses and adjusting his emotionally wrecked state, “One moment!”

He lets out a soft, shaky breath and reminds himself once more that you’re a Kim.

You’re strong.

You can beat this.

It'll be alright.

You'll be okay.

"IM NOT OKAY JIMIN-SHI!" You voicely whine out to your friend who is currently dragging you along the halls of the hospital and out the technologically advanced glass doors, "What is wrong with you?!" You pull your arm aggressively from his grasp as you bend down, hands resting on your knees while you hastily try to catch your breath. The camellia flower stuck just along the chords of your throat making it very difficult.

Jimin stares at you worryingly, having forgotten of your illness, "O- oh no. y/n, I'm sorry I forgot I- are you okay? Should we go back?" He stutters in concern before you hold up one finger, signaling him to shut the hell up. "-sorry."

Looking at you like this, tired and exhausted from having to put up with all his bullshit, Jimin feels a sudden urge to reach out and embrace you tightly, almost forgetting of his previous encounter with your brother.

And so that's exactly what he does.

You are caught off guard the moment you feel a hand grab your shoulder by means of pulling you closer all the while another rests just at your crook of spine, and although this first makes you stumble in a not-so-very prettily way, your destination is found to be in your friend's embrace, his fragile yet protective arms wrapped around you securely.

Not letting this moment simply pass by, you let yourself melt in his arms as you find the comfort meant to be found in his comforting hug, wrapping your arms around his neck as you slightly stand on your tippy toes. Somehow, your simple action makes him pull you even closer, one hand creeping behind your neck all the while his other is completely wrapped around your waist although this time is tighter than before.

As the two of you stay like this in the middle of the sliding glass doors of the hospital, crowds of unfamiliar voices passing by you and ambulances ringing endlessly against your ear, you let yourself submerge within the passion of your heart.

Amidst the chaos and cries of your nearingly counted days, you find consolation in the arms of the same man that has put you in front of death's door, and quite frankly, you wouldn't really want it any other way. You'll take what is given by the heavens above when it comes to Jimin, because well- you love him.

Unfortunately, that quick and simple thought is enough to make you lose control of your reminded disease.

"y-y/n what's- are you okay?" Jimin pulls away from you abruptly as you break into coughing fits, pastel pink camellia blossoms escaping your trembling lips.

The sight has caught the attention of many civilians, but both you and Jimin remain to be indifferent about them as you or more or less are occupied with your illness all the while Jimin specifically aims his attention on you alone.

"Alright that's it, screw your brother alright?" Jimin exclaims a bit louder than what you're comfortable with as this obviously did not benefit with the proceedingly growing public focus on the two of you, "-we're going back, y/n, it's my fault for bringing you outside so suddenly-"

"No chim, please-" You roughly attempt to speak out, your throat painfully extracting the feeling of abrasiveness, "Please just- let's just go."

"y/n.."

“Please chim,” you cut him off for what seemed to be the fiftieth time, coughing, “-please. I don’t want to be here any longer.”

Hesistant yet concerned, Jimin nods slowly as he assists your side, his hands finding its home around your waist and lower back while you both take short and careful strides. You destination is still unknown, but you didn’t mind. A journey a day with someone you love has never turned out for the worse.

At least that's what you think.

"Really?" You roll your eyes as you notice the familiar lane that Jimin's car just entered, "I asked you to get me out of the hospital area, I didn't ask for a sleepover, Jimin." You jokingly accuse him, but you can't help the smile that makes its way on your puffed-up face as you notice him smoothly take a side-glance at you with a knowing smirk.

"Well I thought that with all that bad hospital air, you might've wanted to breathe in a familiar scent," Jimin responds as the car comes to a stop.

You turn slightly to open the door and step out before you here a meek, "Jankkanman!" and perceive a 5'9 in height blondie come running around the bonnet in order to open the car door for you as a gentleman would. It is such a sweet and casual pantomime, yet an ill-patient diagnosed with an illness of the heart can never bring you any wins. Consequently, his actions only causes your throat to feel strained and compacted for the endless time.

God, how much did you love this man that such a simple gesture makes you want to cough out countless of fully bloomed flowers?

You thank the heavens above for your past endless experiences that allowed you to now be better in terms of hiding your pain as you attempt to smile genuinely, mumbling a small "thank you" in the process before making your way inside his home.

"So," Jimin starts as the two of you plop down his couch, his eyes seeking for yours as he tilts his head ever so lightly, "what should we do today... now that you're out of that hell hole?"

"Chim!" You scold him lightly, "my brother and your best friend just happens to be working in that hell hole, just in case you forgot, and- hey! You work there too, you ass." You accusingly point at him all the while hitting his arm playfully.

Jimin is was a nurse in that hospital. Your brother is a doctor.

He laughs and smiles widely, "Nope. I don't work there anymore, remember? But I did for a while, which is why I can most definitely testify that that place is indeed, a hell hole. And by the way, I'm kind of offended that you pretty much forgot my lost profession just then, y/n, like what the fuck?" He jokes endingly.

Your eyes soften slightly as he mentions his lack of job, yet you still stubbornly choose to ignore his last remark. "Well I sure hope that's not the case since I'll be most likely spending my last days there."

Oops.

The silence that ensues goes inevitably noticed by the two of you the moment those words escaped past your lips, but you paid no mind. That was the reason that you asked him to take you away anyways. You weren't hoping for some cliche romantic bullshit where the two of you simply elope and forget your real worries in your life, no. Instead you were here with the main purpose of facing it.

Besides, even if you did want to leave with him, you couldn't. Remember?

Jimin is the first to break the excessive blockade, "Don't say that y/n."

You sigh, "But it's true, chim."

"I don't give a shit if it's true or not."

"Chim.." You are slightly startled with his sudden outburst, caught off guard in the way his voice slightly raised as his attention and body language are now completely directed at you, "Wha- why are you getting mad?"

Jimin scoffs, almost irritated at your oblivious question, "Why? Because you're talking of dying like it's not a big deal, y/n!" His voice getting louder and louder by every word he spits out, "God, you know you can be so fucking insensitive sometimes. What, did you already forget the shit I suffered when I lost someone? Did you already forget all the fucking shit I suffered when death took her from me?"

At the mention of her, you pause. Speechless. Guilty. Hurt.

Of course you remember. How could you not? You remember the darkest of days as like it was just yesterday.

You remember getting that call in the middle of the night from the contact name of your brother as you slightly answered it in an irritated voice, "Joon I swear to God if you're asking me to drive you to work in the middle of the fucking night I will personally drag your ass right now to get a driver's liscenc-"

"y/n?"

You remember immediately stopping as you recognize the voice that most certainly did not belong to your brother, "Chim?"

"y- y/n."

You remember the outbreak of his sobs as you call out to him, his sniffles and cries becoming more and more prominent as you stumble on your feet, struggling with keeping your phone against and in between your ear and your shoulder as you hurryingly take off to grab a jacket and your keys, "Chim what's wrong, where the hell are you? W- where's Joon?"

You remember the way your heart dropped as your worst fear came to mind, the thought of losing your brother itself being enough to make you wobble in your feet, your heart clenching. He had your brother's phone, and he was crying.

"N-no, he- he's fine, y/n. It's not him, hyung's... hyung's fine."

You remember the way he struggled to find the right words; the way he sniffled and stuttered through forming such a simple sentence all the while you on the other side of the line breathe out a sigh of relief at the information of your brother's wellness, yet feeling slightly guilty that your emotions are in contrast with your friend's.

"It's Sung."

You remember Jimin's worst.

"It's Sung, y/n. Sh- she got in an accident on the way here to visit me during my off hours and- fuck! Some fucking demon pulled a hit and run on her. She was walking, y/n. She walked an hour here and got ran over by someone and.. they're doing an operation on her- hyung's assisting and he just- it's bad. It was really bad and she was bleeding all fucking over and- hyung, he- he left his phone and I didn't know what to do so I just called you- I didn't, they pushed me out of the room, y/n. I need you here. Please, please. Please come here because I'm losing my fucking mind and I need you here."

You remember driving to the hospital as careful as you can with the fear of the possibility of an accident occurring still in the midst of the back of your mind.

You remember reaching the doors of the emergency room and being greeted with a pair of reddened and exhausted eyes that looked up the moment you walked in, "Jin."

He stands up to greet you politely but you stop him, obviously seeing that his reaction upon seeing you is no more than a forced delight, "Let's not do this under these circumstances, okay? You're allowed to feel unwelcoming. It's okay, Jin."

He does no more than mumble a small 'thank you' before going back to his previous spot with you trudging along beside him.

You remember feeling the sorrow of the man beside you as you watch him lean his head back against the wall, fragile streaks of tears rolling down his flushed cheeks. You couldn't imagine his pain, the pain of such a situation where your sister's life is at stake. You wanted to comfort him, to softly rub his back and whisper sweet encouragements against his ear, little white lies that his sister is guaranteed to make it without a doubt. But you couldn't. You weren't here for him, regardless of your history. Regardless of the way you left him the morning after your supposed mistake.

"Uhm, have you seen Jimin?"

You remember the way his void eyes find yours and the way his lips lightly upturn as he gives you a forced smirk, trying to keep up with his image of being Kim Seokjin, Kim Sungkyung's handsome and cocky older brother, "And here I was thinking fate brought you here to me, y/n." He trails off, "-considering how you fucked me then dipped."

You gasp slightly and playfully hit his arm at the blunt mention of your regretted one night stand as you give him a small yet genuine smile, partly glad yet at the same time worried that he can make such remarks during a situation like this.

It was strange really, how everything in your life seemed to be connected. How on the day you felt your heart tore apart the time Jimin first mentioned his planned proposal, you went out and accidentally slept with the soon-to-be-bride's older brother.

Letting out a small sigh, Jin nods his head in the direction of a different waiting room, "He left when I came. Guess he was embarrassed of how fucked up he was but hey- I'm not doing any fucking better am I?" He tells you, subtly pointing at the very visible streaks of tears still falling down his now puffy face.

You get on your feet and turn to leave but not before giving one last glance at the man next to you, a hand softly reaching to rub his shoulder, "I'm so sorry, Jin. I wish I could stay, but-"

"It's okay, y/n. Go." Jin encourages you with a small yet noticeably forced smile, "He needs you."

And so you do, bidding him a soft goodbye before taking off, your eyes beginning to water out of the guilt of leaving a friend in that state.

You then remember being suffocated. Suffocated from the embrace that greeted you the moment Jimin entered your peripheral vision. You remember landing on your behind with a harsh thud from the struggle of Jimin's weight as he continues to seek your embrace for means of comfort, the two of you falling down the floor. You remember getting drenched from Jimin's tears as you cradle him as would a wailing child, rocking him back and forth all the while softly rubbing his back, whispering every bit of amenity that could make him feel better.

You remember feeling your heart physically ache as you fail to notice the tears that have fallen down your own eyes, blurring your sight.

To see Jimin in this state, so broken and hurt and scared, it tore you apart. You wanted him happy. You wanted him smiling. You wanted him. You loved him. And God forbid that you're admitting this in your own mind while his fiance is battling for her own life, but fuck.

You wanted nothing more than to lay down your own life for Sung so that she could continue in existence for him.

If you could, you would take here place.

You would die for her, for him.

You remember pushing back your thoughts as you put focusing on Jimin your first priority. You remember keeping him in a neverending tight embrace as he neverendingly sobs against your chest, his lips leaving prayers you could barely yet still tried to understand;

please don't let her die

don't take her away from me

i love her too much

i still have to marry her.

You then remember hearing a wail of anguish, putting a pause to both Jimin's silent pleas and your eavesdropping as the both of your heads turn to pinpoint from whom the noise came from.

You remember the way Jimin stilled.

"No."

You remember his whisper of such a small, two-lettered word, yet somehow it caused your heart to crumble.

"No no no no-"

You remember having to tackle Jimin slightly as he causes a mess of himself, punching the seats and harshly tugging on his hair all the while screaming wails of pain and suffering, "Jimin please-"

"No- get the fuck off of me! Sung?!"

You remember how Jimin lost sight of reality as he pushes you off of him, your body making in contact with the cold tiled ground.

"SUNG? SUNG! LET ME INSIDE-"

You remember seeing nurses and other staff pull the man you love back as he causes a scene, starting to become physical and violent with the people surrounding him, "PLEASE! Please- I just- I NEED TO SEE HER! SHES MY FIANCE-"

You remember seeing a man dressed in blue make his way near Jimin, a needle in his hand.

"H-hey, no!" You remember trying to catch up to the nurse, attempting to prevent them from giving whatever the shot was to Jimin, "Stop! Please-"

"y/n. D-don't."

You remember feeling a hand on your shoulder which makes you turn around instantly, only to find the culprit behind the anguished scream just moments prior Jimin's outburst.

"Jin." You start, "-they're going to sedate him. That- that's not okay."

"They have to, y/n." Another voice calls out from behind Jin, "I know how it seems and I don't like it either, b-but he's becoming violent. They have to sedate him."

"Joon." You whisper softly.

What a sick and twisted game that life is playing on you, that your brother, Jimin's best friend, Jimin's best man at the wedding being planned, is the one to give news of the bride's passing.

"Sung, is she really.." You trail off, not having the heart to finish your sentence.

It seems neither does he, as he responds with nothing but a simple avoidance of eye contact.

"HYUNG!"

You remember Jimin's faint and tired yet still firm voice as he calls out your brother, "Hyung, you saved her didn't you? You- you were part of the surgery. You saved her didn't you? Didn't you!?" Jimin is weak as he trails off his words as the effect of the syringe takes its course, but that doesn't stop him from reaching out to the three of you, "H-hyung. Tell me you saved her. P-please tell me you saved h-her."

Namjoon doesn't stop the tear that rolls down his hardened face as he only shakes his head, "I'm sorry, Jimin. We did our best. We really, really did. I'm so sorry-"

You remember the way Namjoon's voice trails off your hearing as your throat suddenly feels contracted. You remember the itching pain just within your chest as you find the struggle to breath, your hand clutching it harshly. You remember stumbling back just a little bit as you feel lightheaded, thinking that these were only from the overwhelming happenings in that moment.

But then you cough.

And you cough

and you cough

and you cough.

But no one notices you.

Not even yourself.

Your attention remains still at Jimin, who has now dropped completely to the floor, tears still continuously spilling out of his drowsy eyes. Short breaths are released from his trembling lips as he mumbles words that none of you can understand. He then begins to seemingly reach out for something, someone.

"P-please," He whispers.

And as you bend down almost immediately to attend to his calls, you cough.

And you cough

and you cough.

And still no one notices.

No one except him.

You cough as your eyes find his, barely open yet staring right at you from the lows of the floor.

You remember having to excuse yourself and run to the nearest restroom you can find, legs trembling and stumbling on your way there as you push against the winds of the almost empty halls, still coughing with every step you take. And just as you reach the doors of the restroom, you turn back slightly, just enough to catch Jimin's last sight while his body is being carried away to where you guess is a vacant patient's room, all this before his eyes ultimately close.

Eyes you found lastly staring at you.

You remember finally shutting the door and locking it, thanking God silently that you're in a family restroom hence there is no one else inside. You cough desperately, your throat beginning to feel exclusively sore and your lungs beginning to tighten from all the air being released as you cough and cough and cough again.

You reach out to the sink, gripping tightly onto the white metals as you cough and cough and cough again.

You then brushingly turn to the toilet, your eyes watering and lips numbing as you cough and you cough and you cough once more.

You practically clean the whole restroom, as disgusting as that sounds, from all the moving you made as you coughed anywhere and everywhere. You felt awful for the next person to come inside, now that your bacterium were practically in its every corner, side, and space. You cough again, this time harder, the worst one out of the previous.

You remember sensing a certain feeling rise up, something soft yet itchy, something light yet heavy.

And so you cough, and you cough, and you cough, and you cough,

and you bleed.

And amongst the red is a pink.

A single, individual pink petal from what you would soon find out is a camellia flower - the flower that is soon to be the latter symbolization of death chasing you, growing closer, inching nearer, just about to knock on your door.

So of course you remember Jimin's distraught. Of course you remember Sung's - his fiance's death.

Because her death was too, the ultimate beginning of yours.

taglist for part 2?

Hey!! Could you please recommend some Jimin x reader werewolf ffs?? I hope you have a great day!!

hello! i am having a great weekend and i hope you are too. tbh, i have a very short list of Jimin werewolf fics & when i say short i mean 2 stories. but these 2 stories are *chef's kiss* and i treasure them. I usually navigate to authors that i already follow and rarely search for new fics from new authors, so i usually re-read my favorite stories as sort of comfort fics and these are some of those I go back over and over again.

The Alpha by @ladyartemesia - an ongoing masterpiece, i promise you! i am in awe of the story, plot & twists. the characters, the side stories, the world building - you will not be disappointed. I suggest you read the Notes - it will give you glimpse of moodboards, visuals of the wolves, teasers of sequels and asks are answered here.

Ignoranty, Yours by @ot7always - bestfriend to lovers + smut + happy ending, what more can you ask for??? i may have shed a tear or 2 tbh.

hope you enjoy them!!! 💜💜💜😘😘😘

author appreciation!!!

1/4 of the amazing quartet, i will do the other 3 in due time! i love my queen, i live for her werewolf au, plus there's always the right mix of angst, fluff, and smut that is always chefs kiss... i super like that although her male characters are so obviously strong they are super soft too then it comes to female leads... and and and theres sort of redemption always for characters like Yoongi in Third Wheeling & Jimin in Bird Cage.

below are my fave fics from this author, but please do go ahead and browse all her works as they are all equally beautiful.

I Waited for You - just because its a Kim Seokjin fic and he's an alpha!!! maybe i have not explored tumblr properly but i have come across very few Alpha Seokjin stories. Welcome to Seoul Land - again, just because its a Kim Namjoon fic and werewolf au. my queen did not disappoint! Namjoon is so soft, ima cry... When it Rain it Pours - i was swooning, a soft Namjoon for a roommate turned lovers... What's up Doc - ooohhhhh! soft Yoongi and i love the part where they whispers while waiting for test results, its so cute i swear! but, don't be fooled coz we are talking about the queen here so the smut is top tier as per usual. Snowed In & Live, Laugh, Love - bestfriends to lovers stories featuring our eternal sunshine Hoseok. imagine Hoseok telling his girlfriend that his best friend means the most to him in the world!!! if that is not in love i dont know what.. but, Hoseok in our queens story is amazing.

Siver & Blue - alpha Taehyung with lots of smuts, what else can you ask for?

Marshmallows and Report Card - i melted just like those marshmllows. Single dad AU for Taehyung.

The Price of Love - i swear i cried when i read this story... i mean can you blame me? its like lost and found love..

In Bloom - this is just sweet the kiss and make up is super lovely.. plus really imagine our baby bear Taehyung with tats...

Cabin Fever - our queen has lots of stories for Jungkook but this is my fave coz its hybrid story. the story is cute but then again the smut is hot!

show lots of love for our queen @untaemedqueen and follow and reblog pls pls pls

💜💜💜😘😘😘

The Other Side - Part 2

Fandom: BTS Pairing: Park Jimin x OC (Amelia) Genre: Fluff/Angst Word Count: 1.7k Words Warning: Drinking, foul language, mention of kiss, this chapter doesn’t deal with any major triggering issues. Note: (18+) Additional chapters contain heavy angst and sensitive topics. If you can’t handle problematic issues, I advise you to not read any further.

Summary: When Amelia and her bestie have an encounter with the duo (JiKook), they seem to develop a love and hate kinda relationship...

Part 1 - Part 2 - More to Come

Are we doing business? Or do you hate me? - Danger by BTS

“Do you want a drink?” I asked.

“I would rather have another ice cream.” Tara replied.

I rolled my eyes, “Do you even eat anything other than that?”

Tara was my best friend since grade two. We had our ups and downs, but were never separated permanently until Tara decided to live in the city to attend college. But whenever she came back to town we would hangout like we were kids again. This time, she came to visit the seasonal festival and I was determined to have the best night of my life.

I paid for the snacks and added to the stall keeper, “We’ll have ice cream and Cheetos too.”

“Two bottles of beer, please.” I heard someone beside me. We both looked at each other at once and I wished I didn’t have.

“Hey! Crybaby! How are you? Oh, hi there, Tara! Didn’t know you were in town too. So, you girls were having a little get together or something?”

Yes! It was no other than Jeon Jungkook. Just looking at him made me want to punch his face. I put on a fake smile over my gritted teeth and spoke rather mockingly, “How are you, big teeth?”

Jungkook chuckled and replied, “The bunny’s doing great. Thank you.”

“And so are the Barbies.” Tara snapped before pulling me away.

“Hey! Wait for me.” Jungkook called. We saw him taking his beers and paying hurriedly before sprinting towards our direction.

“Is he serious, right now?” Tara whispered to me in annoyance.

Jungkook whined, “C’mon! We met after a long time. And you didn’t even talk to me at Tae’s party. ‘Cause you were too busy drooling over Jimin.”

“Excuse me!” I asked, offended. Jungkook was really testing my patience.

“Who the hell is Jimin?” Tara asked, unaware.

“I’m Jimin.” Suddenly someone spoke beside us.

I looked at him in disbelief. My immediate thought was that he was perhaps stalking me. But then, I remembered that Jimin was a really good friend of Jungkook. So, it wasn’t unusual that he came to his friend’s town to attend a festival.

“Amelia!” He turned to me with a faint smirk on his face, “We meet again.”

“So, you’ve been talking about me with Jungkook?” I inquired Jimin as soon as we were left alone. Tara went to the bathroom and Jungkook was taking an important phone call.

“To be honest,” Jimin chuckled, “you’re the only thing I’ve been talking about these past few days.”

Jimin really knew how to flatter because I could tell that my face went red. But it wasn't time to give in to his seduction, especially when I was supposed to be angry at him.

"So, you guys are really having some fun talking behind my back, huh?" I retorted.

"You are indeed fun to talk about, I won't lie, but…"

I didn’t let him continue whatever he was going to say next. "Listen, I'm not interested in wasting time with you. I don't know why you'd approached me that night. I don't know what Jungkook has been telling you and whatever you're telling him in return. All I know and want you to be clear about is that I’m done encountering you. If you still don't let go, you'll have to deal with Taehyung."

Jimin laughed at my speech which only added fuel to my anger. "Well, one thing is true, then.”

“And what’s that?”

“You complain a lot to your brother, like a cry-baby."

Had it been Jungkook, he would have earned a slap across his face by now. I breathed out through my mouth to avoid doing something stupid. But someone spoke loudly beside me, "who the hell do you think you are, speaking like that to my best friend in front of me?"

"Oh, I'm sorry…" Jimin was yet again cut off.

This time, Tara angrily started to rant, "our night's already ruined. Thanks to your asshole friend. Now don't get me started on you. Don't even think you have any chance with my girl just because you're…"

"Tara," I immediately interrupted, "let's get going. It's no good fighting with them. We should know better since our previous arguments with the other asshole."

"Yeah, whatever!" Tara turned along with me.

"I'm staying in town for a few days." Jimin yelled behind us as we were walking away from him. "Don't hope to never see me again. 'Coz who knows! You might."

I grunted in frustration while  Tara asked, "want me to go back and kick him in the balls?"

"Why do all the good looking guys have to be assholes?" Tara sighed one day.

I raised my eyebrows, "which assholes are you referring to?"

"Whom do you think?"

"Umm…" I thought for a while, "I know for once, Jimin is attractive and also, turned out to be an asshole like his friend. Who else do you mean?"

"I mean," Tara replied, "his friend that you just mentioned."

If Tara had said that she was pregnant, I would have been less surprised.

"What the hell, dude!" I couldn't mask my disgust, "How can you find Jungkook attractive? I knew your taste in men was trash but him?"

"Oh, thank you very much." Tara argued, "Mind you, I didn't say he was attractive. I only said 'good-looking'. And I believe I added that he was an asshole. So, he doesn’t really fall under the men of my taste. By the way, aren't you the one attracted to assholes? As far as I know, it wasn't me who made out with one of them."

I was flustered by her reply. "Hey, that was… a mistake. I was… I was drunk." I stuttered.

Tara started to laugh. I couldn't believe she was bullying me for kissing Jimin. Maybe, I shouldn't have confided in her everything. Especially the part where I said I actually enjoyed making out with him.

"You're mean!"

I stood up and walked out of my room to the living room only to find that Taehyung was having a blast with his friends. And the friends in question are none other than my life long enemy, Jungkook and my most recent crush, Jimin.

Turns out Jimin was a sneaky bitch. Somehow he managed to manipulate Taehyung into thinking that it was his friendship that Jimin was after all along and he had nothing to do with me. He also added that there was a girl in his city that he was seeing. Taehyung didn’t seem to have any problem with being friends with him since he didn’t pose an immediate threat of becoming someone closer to me. Now, my brother was having the time of his life chatting with the two people I couldn’t even bear to talk with.

Both me and Tara listened to all the bullshit for a while and then decided it was time to leave. “We’re going out!” I said to my brother, “Want me to get you something?”

“Nope!” His reply was short.

“Well, enjoy, I guess!” I muttered under my breath and headed out with Tara.

“Wait!” Jimin ran out of the house behind us.

Tara moved in between and asked, “What do you want?”

“I wanna talk with Amelia!” Jimin replied casually.

“Why?” Tara pressed further, “Isn’t it Tae whom you’re after?”

Jimin looked irritated, “Can you please give us some space for a moment?”

“What do you need a space for? I thought you had a girlfriend. Why? Aren’t you loyal?” Tara kept on going.

“Are you just going to enjoy this?” Jimin looked at me helplessly.

I simply shrugged my shoulders in reply. Jungkook came to his rescue. “Hey, Tara! Wanna know what the whole college is talking about?”

Tara’s face went red, “Jeon Jungkook, I swear I’m going to kill you if you did anything funny!” And she stormed away inside the house along with a smirking Jungkook.

“Hey…” Jimin started but I cut him in between.

“Is there anything important that you wanna say? If not, please go bother someone else.”

“You didn’t even let me start!” he pouted.

I frowned at his words, “Your pretense of being a cutie ain’t gonna help you now.”

Jimin turned serious and asked, “What’s up with you? I can’t seem to read you right. One minute you’re so into me, the next minute you won’t even look at me? Is Tae the matter?”

“Nope!” I answered truthfully, “It’s you! You’re the matter.”

“Will you at least tell me what I did wrong since the last time we met?” Jimin asked gently.

I thought for a while before saying, “Why do you even care? I’m only an inside joke between the two of you.”

Jimin started nodding his head as if he just realized something very basic, “So, Jungkook’s the matter, huh?”

“No!” I denied.

“Oh, dear!” Jimin laughed, “Do you realize how long it had been since you were in school? Seriously? Are you still holding a grudge over those silly fights you had with him? Are you still that petty?”

I huffed in annoyance, “Go on. Tell me more about what else he had told you about me.”

“Nothing but all the good times that he had with you.” Jimin said with a smile.

“Huh?”

“Amelia!” Jimin shook me by the shoulders, “Jungkook always talked about you and Tara as if you were his only friends in high school. Yeah, he mentioned the fights and all. But at the end of the day, he still considers you his friends. The time when I confessed to him about you, the only thing he said was that I was diving in for some adventure. And it wasn’t even said in a bad way. He really ships us with all his might.”

I kept blinking at him in disbelief. Surely, Jungkook wouldn’t talk all nice about us let alone calling us his friends. What is Jimin trying to do here?

At that time, Tara came out yelling at Jungkook behind her, “Grow up, rabbit faced!” 

“After you, bitch!” A boiling red Jungkook yelled back at her.

Tara took my hand and pulled me away from the house. “Just ignore him. He’s a bit upset, you know!”

“What did you say for him to act like that?” I asked.

“Nothing much!” Tara shrugged, “Just reminded him how desperate he was.”

“Desperate for what?”

In reply, Tara just let out a laugh.

< Previous || Next > (Coming Soon)

My Masterlist

The Other Side - Part 1

Fandom: BTS Pairing: Park Jimin x OC (Amelia) Genre: Fluff/Angst Word Count: 1.6k Words Warning: Slight drinking, making out, nothing much explicit in this chapter. Note: (18+) Additional chapters contain heavy angst and sensitive topics. If you can’t handle problematic issues, I advise you to not read any further.

Summary: Despite her brother Taehyung’s disapproval of dating one of his friends, Amelia can’t keep herself away from the charming guy she met at his birthday...

Part 1 - Part 2 - More to come

“For you, I will be new every day ‘Cause it’s boring to have the same thing, right?” - Filter by Jimin

My brother Taehyung’s birthday was the worst day of the year for me. Don’t get me wrong. I loved Taehyung more than anybody in this world. For that exact reason, I could never refuse his request for a birthday party in our house.

I was the kind who hated parties and Taehyung, on the other hand, liked them very much. Furthermore, my presence in that party was a must for Taehyung to actually enjoy it. So, I would always end up being a weirdo trying to communicate with his friends whom I met once a year. Since Taehyung loved making a lot of friends, every year, I would meet some new people too.

Today the party seemed to be going for an eternity. The loud music was unbearable after a few hours. I was done making small talks with most of his friends. I needed some break as I felt my social battery was running out. I needed to find Taehyung.

I groaned in frustration searching for my brother in the crowd. I decided I was old enough to leave his annoying party any time I wanted to. After all, it was my house too. I could go anywhere I wanted. So, I headed for the rooftop.

Surprisingly, there was another person present whom I didn’t notice at first. I yelped in surprise when he cleared his throat to gain my attention.

“I’m sorry.” He said, “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

A blonde guy wearing sunglasses, even though it was night, approached me. I realized that I had never met this person before. Thinking he was a new friend of Taehyung, I tried to talk nicely. But, to be honest, I could do with some alone time instead.

“It’s okay!” I said, “I don’t think I know you.”

“I’m Park Jimin.” He said, “I’m Jungkook’s friend from college. I believe you’re Taehyung’s sister, Amelia, right?” I nodded. But my mind was occupied with the thought that he was Jungkook’s friend.

If I had an enemy, it would be Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook and I went to school together. But we never got along. There was a history of endless fights and arguments between us. Some of them ended up with me crying out in frustration and Jungkook getting some serious talk from my overprotective brother. Nonetheless, they were still close friends.

Jimin suddenly chuckled, “I’ve heard quite a lot about you.”

I tried to smile. If he had known me through Jungkook, chances are, he didn’t know anything good.

A few cups of drinks were making my mind blurry. I started to find the stranger really attractive. I wasn’t even listening to what he had been saying. But his voice was pleasant to my ears. My mind was full of thoughts that seemed too wrong.

“Hello!” Jimin snapped his fingers in front of my eyes and I came back to reality. He wetted his lips before saying, “You haven’t been listening, have you?”

I shook my head honestly. He laughed as if he found it adorable. He took off the glasses and stared directly into my eyes.

Oh God! If looks could kill...

“I think you’re a little too intoxicated to ignore my charm.” he said. Without realizing I nodded in affirmation, making him laugh even more.

Oh God! His eye smile...

Then, he suddenly stopped. His stare was quite serious this time. He wasn’t fooling around anymore. I could feel the tension rising in the air. It seemed like there was an invisible string pulling me closer to this guy. I leaned a bit closer to him. But he didn’t move.

He half whispered, “Are you sure about this?” I nodded again.

Then, he leaned in to kiss me. It was a soft one at first, but gained momentum as soon as he got my approval. During our heated making out session, my mind had gone off to a completely different world. There was nothing I could think of other than him.

But soon Jimin let go of my lips and pulled back. A soft whimper left my mouth. Jimin just chuckled in return and shook his head.

“I don’t want you to regret anything once you’re sober.” He said.

I opened my mouth to say something but decided against it. It was already awkward enough. I didn’t want to embarrass myself further by saying something which would prove how desperate I was to have him.

Taehyung and I were only a year apart and he was the oldest. Our father was never in the picture and our mother died the year I graduated high school. Both of us ended up not going to college. Money was not a problem. We were pretty well off as mother had left us with a big house and a huge backyard of a flower garden. I worked on them and sold them in our personal flower shop which was quite famous in town. Taehyung, on the other hand, did whatever he was comfortable with at the moment.

Taehyung had lots of friends. But I only had him. And he was aware of it. But he didn’t mind. Even though he had many friends, both male and female, he would always forbid me to get a little too close to any of his male friends. I never complained either. Because, most of them were like Jungkook, whom I absolutely despised.

But I felt different this time. This Jimin guy was really messing with my mind. Ever since the night, I couldn’t shake his thoughts away. I felt a little guilty for keeping such a secret from my brother, to whom I had always confided everything.

“This is never going to happen again.” I would tell myself. But little did I know how wrong I had been.

Apparently, Jimin shared a mutual feeling and there was nothing that could stop him from coming back to me. So, coming back to me he did. But at the worst moment possible.

Ding Dong

Taehyung forbade me to get up from the dining table as we were having supper at the time. It was unusual for us to have a visitor so late. So, Taehyung went to check it himself.

“Is Amelia home?” I heard a not so unknown voice spoke and my heart skipped a bit. I knew that Taehyung was as shocked as me because he didn’t say a word in reply.

The stranger continued, “I’m Jimin. I hope you remembered me from the party. I came here with Jungkook.”

It turned out that Jimin had some important business in town. But unfortunately he was too late to catch the evening train. He hadn’t brought his car. Furthermore, he was not in the habit of riding a cab late at night. He tried calling Jungkook but he was out of town. He also informed Taehyung that he had an opportunity to become my friend during his birthday party. So, it seemed like he had no other choice but to ask us to let him stay at our place.

Taehyung didn’t seem to be believing any of his words. But he agreed to let him stay for the night. Only at one condition; Jimin was to share the bed with him. It is necessary to include that we had two spare bedrooms for guests.

I had never felt so uncomfortable while having dinner at my own house before. Jimin looked like he was having the best moment of his life; enjoying the food and appreciating it often. I nodded in between but tried not to say anything and let Taehyung join the conversation. Jimin was acting differently, almost in a child-like manner. I tried to avoid eye contact with either of them as Taehyung kept eyeing us suspiciously throughout the whole dinner.

After a while of chatting about nothing, we were all off to bed. But my brain had no intention of letting me sleep. Instead, it was replaying the night of my brother’s birthday. I wondered if this was the same flirty Jimin I had encountered some weeks ago.

Hours later, I walked out of my bedroom in frustration. Instantly, I was grabbed by my shoulders and I yelped in surprise.

“Ssh!” Jimin let go and whispered, “It’s only me!” I nodded in recognition. He looked at me carefully and a wide grin spread on his face.

“What?” I asked, surprised at his unusual behavior.

“Thank God!” He said with relief, “You didn’t forget about me.”

I laughed at him, “What made you think I might forget you?”

Jimin frowned at my taunting, “Why? You were hella drunk that night. I bet you can’t recall what we did.”

I blushed really hard this time. Of course, I remembered what we did. But I was in no mood to discuss that embarrassing event. Jimin had definitely seen me blushing. His cute face suddenly turned mischievous.

“Can you recall it or should I help?” he smirked. Now, this was the Jimin I was talking about.

Before I could shut him up with a slap on the head, I heard movements ahead of me. Both of us froze. Our eyes grew larger at once.

“Fuck!” Jimin whispered, “Your spy brother is awake.”

I ran straight to my bedroom and shut the door quickly. My heart was beating up to my throat. I could hear a conversation outside which made me smile like an idiot.

A deep voice asked, “Oy! What are you doing there?”

A cute one replied, “I think I might have forgotten the way to the bathroom.”

A moment of silence before a really angry tone spoke, “If you’re trying to make an excuse, Park Jimin, go for a better one next time.”

Next >

My Masterlist

Dweller of the Dark

Fandom: BTS Pairing: Jimin x Female Reader Genre: Mystery/Horror/Angst Warning: Jimin and the reader are step siblings, gothic atmosphere, mention of car accident, death, slight swearing, scary mannequin figures, nightmares, questionable behaviors, mention of bullying, anxiety, insanity, murder, blood, heartbreak and a never ending sexual tension in the air. Word Count: 5k Words Note: This is a fictional piece based on Jimin’s ‘ID: Chaos’ photoshoot. Some contents of it are disturbing. Please, read it at your own risk.

Summary: You are adopted by one of the richest couples of your country at the last stage of your teen years. At your new home, you meet a silent and reserved boy of your age and become attracted to him instantly. But they introduce him as your step-brother.

*************************************************

I stood in front of the huge stairs I saw before me. It still felt like a dream when I was told that I had been adopted. I had spent my whole life at the orphanage. I saw all of my friends getting adopted one by one until I was the only one left of my age. But now, when all of my hope of being adopted was left far into the past and when I was counting my days till I was 18, I learned that I was finally being called to live with a family. Standing in the middle of their huge mansion, I realized they were much richer than I could ever comprehend.

The old couple came, after a few minutes, and started to introduce themselves to me. They were Mr. and Mrs. Park and I was to call them by that name; not ‘mommy’-daddy’. I was to learn about their etiquette and manners, their way of clothing, eating, walking, basically everything one needed to live.

I realized they were being very formal to me. So, I decided not to have my hopes up on their affection. I reminded myself that I was going to be 18 in a few months. Then, I would be able to leave the house to go live by myself, the way I wanted to.

While I was getting acquainted with my new adoptive parents, I noticed a boy, about my age, standing above the stairs. He was leaning on the railing and looking directly at me. When our eyes met, he didn’t bother to look away. Instead, it felt like he was looking at me more intensely than before, as if he was reading me like a book.

Mrs. Park observed us for a few seconds and cleared her throat. My attention instantly came back to them. Then, she called the boy to come downstairs.

“Lovely,” she called, but it wasn’t a loving tone at all, “Come down and introduce yourself. Don’t you know, it’s bad manners to eavesdrop?”

The boy walked down the stairs slowly while his gaze was still on me. I had looked away from him in fear of disappointing the elders. But still, I couldn’t help catching a glance of him staring back at me every now and then.

The boy stood in front of me but didn’t say anything. Instead, Mrs. Park said, “This is Park Jimin, our only son.”

Son? I was shocked at the revelation. He looked much younger to be their son. But why the fact that he would be my step brother was bothering me more, I couldn’t understand.

I noticed that the boy was wearing a peculiar all black outfit. He raised his hand in front of me to shake mine. He was also wearing peculiar black gloves in his hand.

His mother saw me hesitating and informed that it was for medical purposes. He was allergic to the sun and required to wear black at day time to block the sunlight. I nodded and took his hand. I didn’t know if it was my imagination but I felt like he squeezed my hand a bit before letting it go. The boy left without saying a word to me.

Then, Mrs. Park told me something I didn’t expect, “You see, Jimin is an only child and he gets very lonely at times. So, we decided to adopt a son last year. But he was killed in a car accident.”

“I’m so sorry.” Automatically came out of my mouth.

Mrs. Park nodded and said, “I hope Jimin likes you as much as he liked his brother.”

I was given a huge room decorated uniquely all for myself. I was relieved to be alone since I came into the mansion. I decided to sleep early being exhausted after the long journey from the orphanage.

As soon as I went to bed, the thought of Jimin squeezing my hand for a split second came to my mind. Then, I thought of how strange his features were. His jawline was sharp but with chubby cheeks above. His eyes looked tired but pleasant with dark brown iris. And his lips were so puffy and pink.

From the next day onward, I started to have busy days. I met my governess and she handed me a routine I was to follow for a week. I was appointed for many lessons such as sewing, table manners, history, speaking etc. I was told to eat separately until I learned my basic lessons on behaviors. I didn’t even meet my parents let alone Jimin for a whole week. My new home felt like hell to me already.

But fortunately, my governess was taken ill and I got some free days to spend without any lessons. One such day, I decided to explore some territories of the house.

I came to an empty room with some mannequins in it. They were all dressed in matching outfits. I got inside to get a closer look at those. As I was about to leave after finding nothing much to look at, I saw Jimin standing between me and the door.

I yelped immediately. Then, I tried to give some valid reason for my presence in that room. “I was lost.” I said.

Jimin nodded and said, “It’s not surprising to be lost in this huge mansion.” My eyes were opened wide. It was the first time I heard Jimin speak and his voice was definitely not what I had imagined. It was high pitched and I dare say, angelic.

Jimin went to one of the mannequins and fixed its mask. I noticed that other than those masks, Jimin was wearing the same clothes as the mannequins. I was curious to know its purpose but couldn’t muster up the courage to say so.

Jimin looked at me for a while as if reading my mind. Then, he said, “I, myself, dress them every day.”

“Why?” I tried to ask, but my voice sounded scratchy. So, I cleared my throat and asked again, “What are these?”

“These?” Jimin asked, raising his eyebrows, “These are the memories of my dead siblings.”

Dead siblings? But I thought he had lost only a step-brother. I didn’t want to interfere with their family issue. So, I didn’t inquire about the matter. Instead, I habitually said, “I’m sorry for your step-brother. I heard what happened.”

“But I’m not.” Jimin casually said while fixing the mannequins’ clothes.

Another mysterious answer. I decided to take my leave without diving into an unwanted conversation. So, I said, “I forgot that I had some homework left. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go.”

I got out of that suffocating room as soon as Jimin nodded.

That night, I had the weirdest dream. I saw myself in that mannequin room again, surrounded by more mannequins than there originally were. I tried looking for the exit, but there wasn’t any. Suddenly the figures started to move. They started to crowd around me. I kept screaming in fear but there was no sound coming from me.

Then, the scene changed. I was in a dark room with a window at the ceiling. The large moon was throwing its light, but not enough to illuminate the room. I tried to get up. But I was chained to the bed by both of my hands. I tried to get rid of it by force. Then, both of my hands got sliced up.

I woke up with cold sweat. My room was dark just like my dream. As I kept panting, my eyes got adjusted to the dark and I could make out my surroundings clearly. I looked at my door and saw that it was open. I couldn’t remember keeping it open before going to bed.

Without thinking much about it, I walked up to it and closed the door and afterwards came back to my bed. I lied on one side and forced my eyes shut to go back to sleep.

Then, I felt someone sitting beside me on the bed. I looked through the corner of my eyes and saw that it was Jimin. I sat up right away.

“Don’t be afraid.” He said softly, as if entering someone’s room while they sleep was no big deal, “It’s just me.”

I stammered, “How d-did you come…come to my room?” This time, I remembered clearly to have locked my door before I came to sleep.

Jimin smiled, “I have my ways around the house.” Then, he stood up and poured a glass of water from my bedside table. He sat down much closer to me again and handed me the glass.

I was questioning his sanity at that point. I didn’t dare shout out to call anyone for help. My room was on the furthest corner of the house. So, it was possible that no one would hear me anyway. Even if they did, they would definitely side with their son over me.

“Take it.” Jimin now took my hands and placed the glass in between them himself.

My hands were shivering. But I still managed to gulp down the water. Jimin carefully caressed my hair and whispered, “You can rest all you want. The governess won’t show up anytime soon.” Then, he smiled in a way that gave me Goosebumps.

He took the empty glass from me and put it back at the table. He looked at me and said, “Now, go straight to sleep like a good girl.” He patted my head a little more. But he was still sitting by my side.

I didn’t know what to say or do. I sat there dumbfounded for a long time. But I noticed something different in Jimin. He was not covered in garments from his head to toe. He was in his night clothes; a beautiful loose white satin shirt showing his bare chest.

With the change of clothes, his attitude seemed to have changed as well. He looked more free and mischievous now contrary to his bold and short spoken self of the day.

I also noticed tattoos on him; which I found surprising considering how much of a rule maniac these people were. There was one on his neck which said ‘Tailor of Chaos’ while another a little lower above his chest called ‘Artemis’.

Jimin finally got up and said in an offended way, “I’m sorry, I thought you might want a company.” Then, he abruptly left.

Next day I was asked to have breakfast with the family. When I arrived at the dining room, Mr. Park announced that I should join them in every meal from then on. The conversation at the breakfast sounded lifeless to me. Jimin was back in his all black outfit covering most of himself. With that, his serious attitude was back as well. Looking at him, I felt like the Jimin from last night was just my imagination.

Few more days had passed since my nightmare. I didn’t have any weird encounters with Jimin anymore. I saw him every now and then. But he never said a word to me. He passed me like I was invisible. If I had thought that nothing could go wrong till I became 18, then I had never been more wrong in my life.

One night I woke up from my disturbed sleep. I could clearly hear people singing downstairs. It was the kind of singing we hear at the church when people sing hymns together.

“What time is it?” I thought. I checked the clock on my bedside table and saw that it was 12:07 a.m. I was curious. So, I got out of my bed to check out what was going on.

At the last few steps of the stair I stopped promptly. There were almost a hundred people gathered in the living room, facing the window. The huge velvety curtains were drawn and the full moon of the night shone brightly at their faces. All of these faces bore the same expression, singing the same syllables at the same time.

Never in my life had I experienced anything such as this. I was too surprised to move. But I didn’t need to stand there for too long because someone already grabbed my waist and pulled me into a dark corridor.

A scream out of fright wanted to leave my mouth. But the person grabbed my mouth tightly, not letting a single sound escape. I was pinned to the wall and so I couldn’t move. As I calmed down, I saw it was Jimin again. His gaze was intense in my eyes. He put one of his fingers to his lips to show that I was not to make a noise. I nodded slowly to indicate that I understood. So, he let go of his hand grabbing onto my mouth.

He peeked at the living room to check if they had noticed us. He was relieved to see that the other party was unaware of our presence. He looked back at me again. His piercing look sent butterflies inside me. I was still pressed between Jimin and the wall, our chests going up and down as we breathe in union.

Then, Jimin’s hand slowly ran through my arm to hold me by the wrist. He pulled me slightly and led the way upstairs. I followed him without any hesitation. We finally reached the very top in front of the door to the attic.

The attic was filled with some old furniture and they were quite dusty. Jimin gestured to me to sit on a clean stool, still not saying anything aloud. I understood that we were still not safe to make noises. So, I sat down as quietly as I could.

Jimin had his attention outside, putting his ear closer to the door to hear what was going on. I sat there staring at his slim but seemingly strong figure without knowing what else to do. He was in his night white shirt again, showing his bare chest and looking extremely attractive for me to look away.

After what seemed like half an hour the singing stopped. There were faint sounds of footsteps, the front gate opening and vehicles starting. Silence again. Then came the clear sound of footsteps in the second floor corridor and the locking of the door. Everything suggested that Mr. and Mrs. Park had gone to bed after the guests had left.

Jimin stayed silent for a few more minutes. Then, he said, “Alright! They’ve gone to bed. As far as I know, this sleep will last until tomorrow evening.”

I still remained quiet because I didn’t know how to react just then. Jimin came closer and stood before me leaving only an inch of space between us. I looked up at his face. He smiled; which was very rare of him as I didn’t see him doing that these days after the night intrusion incident.

He bent a little forward and said, “Do you want to go out with me?”

I nodded almost immediately. It had been a month since I came into this house far away from the nearby town. And I wasn’t even allowed to leave, not even to take a walk outside. In my knowledge, I had never seen Jimin going out as well. How could he? He was allergic to the sun!

We sneaked out through a door I had never seen before into the tangerine garden at the backyard. It was larger than a regular backyard. In fact it was huge. We could be lost at this place if we weren’t careful enough as to where we were heading to.

We were walking side by side in the moonlit light. Our arms were touching for a split second every now and then. Finally, Jimin said out loud, “Can I hold your hand while we walk?”

Blood rushed to my face immediately. Hesitantly I nodded. I was glad about the fact that he was at least asking me before going for the hand directly. After how he had entered my bedroom while I was asleep, it was possible for him to grab my hand without my concern.

After some moments, Jimin asked, “Why are you so quiet?”

“I...I don’t know what to say.” I replied.

“But I know, you want to ask something. Why are you hesitating? You should know by now that you are free to talk to me about anything.”

So I decided to ask, “Who were they?”

“So straight forward! Alright! I’ll allow it.” Then, Jimin chuckled, “They were my parents’ family and friends.”

“What were they doing?” I asked directly once again. I didn’t have the patience to wait.

“Well, you see,” Jimin continued, “It is a kind of ritual, very traditional and ancient. They do it at full moon every month to show their devotion to the virgin goddess of the Moon, Artemis.”

“I don’t believe you.” I said as I found it hard to believe. But the mention of Artemis sent a shiver down my spine.

“Oh!” Jimin said, as if he was shocked, “Didn’t you know we are in a cult?”

I stopped walking and my eyes grew larger at his unusual reply. Jimin started to laugh. I shook my head. He was probably messing up with me.

But his face grew serious again. He looked at my eyes for a while. Then, his gaze travelled to my lips and stopped there. He whispered, “Can I kiss you?” while still staring at my lips.

My own attention went to his puffy red lips and I nodded. Jimin slowly came forward and kissed me softly. He pulled away a little but again pressed his puffy lips on mine, this time going harder than before. My hands were running through his soft fur like hair while he held me firmly by the waist.

I can’t tell how long our kiss lasted. But when he let go, I felt an urge to pull him back again. Then, Jimin said something which didn’t make sense to me. He said, “I'll give you a chance to run away right now.” His voice sounded dead serious which kind of scared me.

So, I said instead, “Please, let’s go back. You’re scarring me.”

A few more days passed. Jimin started to act distant in front of his parents again. And I didn’t make any move either. I was too embarrassed about the night’s incident in the tangerine field.

However, when his parents had gone out and not to be returned for the next two days, Jimin made the first move. He came to my reading room while I was reading a book. I noticed that today, he was wearing an all-white outfit contrary to his black one. Seeing him, I put the book aside.

“Hi, Jimin!” I tried to sound as normal as I could.

“I have something for you.” He handed me a bag.

I looked inside and saw that there was a lump of white clay that is used to make sculptures. I gasped in excitement, “How did you know I like to make sculptures?”

Jimin sat down on a chair beside me and shrugged, “Your Governess told me.” So, he had been inquiring about me all this time while ignoring me all the same.

“Can I try it now?” I asked, not wanting to waste a single minute.

Jimin smiled at me and said, “I don’t see why not.”

Jimin sat across the floor watching me attentively as I did what I liked to do best. Making big and small figures with clay was something I found comforting. It had been my escape in my earlier days at the orphanage.

I asked him how he got them and he informed me that his step brother liked to play with clay as well. I remembered about the accident Mrs. Park had mentioned and how close Jimin was to him. I asked him, “Do you miss him?”

“Who?” At first Jimin looked confused, then he seemed to understand whom I was directing the question to, “Oh, no! Not really. I barely remember him.”

“But I thought you liked him.”

“If I’m being honest, I despised him. That’s all.” Jimin said it so casually as if he wasn’t talking about someone who was dead. I was taken aback. I didn’t expect that answer at all.

Jimin seemed to understand it from my expression. So he further said, “He used to mock me a lot. He never called me by my name. Instead he liked to call me a ‘girl’. He seemed to enjoy calling me that.”

“I’m really sorry for that.” I said.

Jimin let out a chuckle, “Don’t be. Because all I heard was him calling me pretty and beautiful.”

“I don’t think you should despise him for that though.” I said, “You see, it’s only natural for him to be jealous of you. You were probably someone he had always dreamed to be.”

Jimin looked at me so earnestly that I wondered if I had said anything wrong. Then, he said, “Wow! I’m surprised by your take on the matter. How come I’ve never thought about it like that?” I shrugged and continued to do my work.

“So, tell me,” Jimin asked, “Are you jealous of me?”

I shook my head and said, “I’m not. But…” I stopped there. I thought of confessing the thing that had been nagging me for a while.

“But?” Jimin urged me to continue.

“I’m more uncomfortable about the fact that you are my step brother.” I finally let out the burden.

“Why?” Jimin asked, as if he didn’t get it.

I decided not to answer. Because by then, I had realized that it would be impossible to explain to Jimin why siblings shouldn’t be sexually attracted to each other.

I was preparing my bed to go to sleep early when I heard a knock on my door. I opened it immediately thinking it was Jimin and so it was. But there was an expression in his face which I had never seen before. It was fear. He barged into my room and closed the door behind.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

Jimin kept shaking his head and mumbling something under his breath. He was sweating and his movements suggested that he was worried. I tried to calm him down. I said, “Hey, Jimin, slow down. Would you like a glass of water?”

Jimin sat down on my bed promptly. Then, he looked at me and said, “You should have run away when I gave you the chance.”

“What is he talking about?” I thought.

Jimin continued, “Tonight is the night. There will be no exception. They will come. They will take you. They will…” He couldn’t finish and started to shake his head fervently.

I went to sit beside him, “Who are coming?”

“You remember the rituals, right?” He asked. “The real event is tonight. It’s a lunar eclipse. Artemis is waiting for a soul, a soul that belonged to a virgin.”

“That’s enough, Jimin!” I said. I was wondering if Jimin had actually lost his mind.

Jimin shook his head in desperation, “I’m not making this up. They had been doing it for a long time. They did the same to my previous siblings.”

“What did they do exactly?” I asked, trying to keep up with the nonsense conversation.

“They killed their earthly bodies. They called it a sacrifice for the Moon goddess.” Jimin stopped for a while and said it almost in a whisper, “Tonight, it’s you.” In the dim light of my room, Jimin looked like a lunatic.

I said, “Please, Jimin. I beg you to stop. You’re scaring me.”

“Don’t you understand, it is something you should be scared of.” Jimin screamed at me. I was too stunned to say anything anymore. This time, I was sure that Jimin was not in his right mind.

Jimin suddenly realized what he had done. He buried his head in his hands and started to cry. Seeing him in such a vulnerable state was painful. I desperately wanted to comfort him, to say something to make him feel safe.

There was a revelation in my heart at that precise moment. I realized for the first time that I was in love with him. Even if he was an insane or a dangerous man, I didn’t care about any of it. All I cared about was being there with him, through everything.

I sat there silently while Jimin cried. This continued for a while. Then, Jimin came back to his senses. He looked at me with so much sadness in his eyes and said, “Can I sleep with you tonight?” I nodded.

We climbed on to the bed together, wrapped in a blanket. I placed his head on my chest while Jimin held on to me tightly like a scared child. I kept caressing his soft hair slowly. At first, I could feel him shaking slightly. But it stopped after a while and his breathing was even. I was glad that he was asleep.

I woke up due to the sound of people singing downstairs. I looked around me. My room was empty and Jimin was nowhere to be found. As I tried to get up, I realized that I was being chained to my bed by one hand. Suddenly Jimin’s warning rang in my mind. Maybe it was all true. These people were going to sacrifice me in the name of Artemis.

I started to pull my hand as hard as I could. The sound of the people singing was surrounding my head. This time, the song sounded more melancholic than the one I heard before. I pulled and pulled until my small thin hand came out of the binding of the chain.

I moved straight to the door. It was locked. “Shit!” I swore. But I remembered about the extra key on my wardrobe and went to get it. I threw away everything out of it in search of my precious key. When I finally found it, I opened the door as noiselessly as I could.

I headed towards Jimin’s room without any delay. He was the only one who would help me in this situation. As I reached his room, I found that it was just as empty as mine. Suspicion started to grow on me. Maybe, Jimin was one of them. Intentionally or not, he would hurt me as well.

At that moment, the singing stopped. I heard the opening of the gate and footsteps of people going out just like the previous night. Only now it sounded clearer as I was not in the attic. I wondered if their so called ritual was over. I decided to go check on it myself.

At the foot of the stairs, I found that most of the people had already left and the others were on their way to leave. I sighed. So, it was just a prank Jimin was playing on me. There was nothing such as the sacrifice to the Moon goddess, even if the rituals were true.

But what I saw next, changed my mind immediately. The reddish light of the moon was glowing on a bed placed near the window. Someone was lying on the bed surrounded by blood. I was horrified to find that that someone was Jimin, himself.

“Jimin!” I screamed as I ran to his bed. Some of them were glancing at me as they went out. But they didn’t seem to care about me at all.

Jimin hadn’t died yet. He squeezed my hand with a little force as I grabbed his. He looked at me with the same sad eyes that I had seen a few hours ago. His lips were shaking. He was struggling to say something. But not a single sound escaped his mouth.

“Stay with me, Jimin.” I said, while sobbing, “Stay with me, please.”

Jimin’s body gave a violent shake for a second. Then, it was still, announcing that he had left and no matter how much I pleaded, he was not coming back to me again. As the realization kicked in, I couldn’t cry anymore.

Mrs. Park came behind me and bent down on her knees to say, “My lovely boy! How brave of him to take your place in the sacrifice willingly. You mustn’t cry, dear. He made the right decision. He is now with the goddess and a part of her hunters.”

I remained quiet. My mind couldn’t bear the fact that a mother was happy to sacrifice her only son for the pleasure of a goddess. Then, Mrs. Park left.

I sat there motionless, all alone with Jimin for quite a long time. I found that his body had grown cold. I slowly leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his cold lips. I tasted and swallowed a drop of his blood from there. Then, I looked up to the blood red moon. I whispered, “I love you.”

After months of diligent labor, my greatest creation was made. Looking at the finished face of the sculpture, for the first time in a while, a smile grew on my face. It was finally done. Now, I could rest.

“Lovely,” Mrs. Park called me, “Are you done with your work?”

“Yes, mother!” I replied, “It’s all done perfectly. Come, take a look.”

Mrs. Park walked towards the face I had created and looked at it intensely for a long time, as if she had forgotten where she was. Finally, she looked back at me. I could see tears forming in her eyes.

“It’s beautiful!” she said, “We should have her in the living room.” I nodded in agreement.

Like I had imagined, all she would see in my creation was the face of the moon goddess, Artemis. Only if she had taken a much closer look, a look from her heart and not just the eyes. She could have seen the distinct features; the sharp jaws with chubby cheeks, the tired looking pleasant eyes and puffy lips.

It was the face of my Jimin. The Jimin who was no less in beauty compared to that of any mortal or God. The Jimin whose bravery was far better than the hunters of Artemis. The Jimin who was the representation of love in a human form.

Why would I be devoted to a mere goddess when I had already seen something much more beautiful in a mortal?

Mrs. Park made her appearance once more as I was showing no sign to break my attention from the sculpture. “Your sister has arrived.” She announced, “You have to welcome her.”

“I’ll be there in a moment.”

“Don’t forget to put on your best dress.” She reminded me for the millionth time, “You are allergic to the sun, remember?”

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