Im Not Sure How To Tag This - Blog Posts

My friends made me watch Hazbin Hotel and so I made gifs

You can tell who my favorite character is

i had a dream last night that i had been born the right way, that i had no trouble listening and made friends easily and straightened my hair and dated only ben from highschool until i got married to him. that our ring was gold even though silver is my color and i don't support diamonds

i had a dream that i hadn't ever been ugly or weird, that we'd had enough money to actually afford the clothes everyone was wearing and in eighth grade i actually twisted my ankle in ugg boots. that all my memories were now diagonally drawn across the river i should have been raised from -

we walked down boston in the chill and i kept talking about how lucky i was to have a wonderful husband and how my father's love poured over our relationship in evergreen gin - i swear sometimes i think he prefers ben - and all the girls that bullied me were now my beautiful friends with husbands and lives of their own, spun out in gold and rhinestones

i had a dream that i hadn't been made wrong, that god had treated me gently, that the hole that opened in me hadn't seeped into everything, staining all of my fingers in chaos and lightning. i had a dream i didn't know secrets about sharp things or how deep the hole goes or how hard someone can hit rock bottom, the snap of the bone.

i had a dream i kept twisting the ring and turning to my oldest friend, who was frowning. barely looking at me. i had a dream i got straight a's and went to a different college but it meant we lost touch after it. she wasn't the same here - strange, unloving, chilly. something is wrong, i kept saying. we were just out for boba tea. my hair was long and pretty and i'd never dyed it enough to turn it frizzy. something is wrong and i think it's with me.

in this world, i still went to church. in this world, i had never been abandoned. in this world, i had never disappointed my parents. in this world, neither she nor i ever kissed girls and meant it. she hadn't met her wife. in this world, nothing ever needed fixing. i didn't ruin things compulsively.

is it worth it? she said, watching me. is it worth it, everything that's missing?

Any songs stuck in ur head currently? Also Hiiii

hello! and yes, thank you for asking lol

tuna in the brine - silverchair

out of exile - audioslave

pillars - sunny day real estate

a forest - the cure

judith - a perfect circle

DMV - primus

but that’s just naming a few ❤️