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Falsely Accused - Blog Posts
Prosecution: Your honor, the defendant has been scamming people into buying fake “immortality elixirs” for years!
Defense: Objection! Your honor, the defense requests the prosecution specify exactly how many years?
Prosecution: Gladly, your honor. As you can see from the arrest records submitted into evidence, the defendant has had the audacity to continue committing this felony for 148 years!
Judge: I’m sorry, did I hear that correctly? The defendant has been selling immortality elixirs for 148 years?!
Prosecution: Yes, your honor, the earliest documented arrest was in 1886.
Judge: It’s 2014.
Prosecution: Yes, your honor.
Judge: And you don’t see anything weird about that? Anything at all?
Defense: In light of this stupidity, the defense demands the immediate release of my client followed by a drop of all charges and would like to file a lawsuit against the arresting officer for slander.
Judge: Yes. Right. Bailiff, please release the defendant. Oh, and bring me any of the elixirs taken into evidence.
Hannibal simultaneously acting affronted by being accused of his own crimes while also needing to hear every sordid detail of how it went down so he can tee-hee later and revel in duper's delight.