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The potential for angst with this is off the charts, but what I’m really thinking of is the potential for friendship and understanding between Jason and Mary Dahl, aka Babydoll. Both of them trapped in a body they should have outgrown, never fitting quite right in their own skin, adults (or teen/young adult in Jason’s case) that still have the appearance of children.
There’s just so much potential for a deep talk about the realities of an unaging, childlike appearance, understanding coming from an unexpected source, and eventual friendship, even a sort of rehabilitation or at least acceptance for Mary, with a new support system and friends.
Honestly, Babydoll being sympathetic and giving advice, while finding a friend in turn, is way underutilized in Batman and Batman adjacent fics where a character is eternally young in Peter Pan fashion.
DC PROMPT
Jason Todd doesn't grow old. Not because he dies. Well, technically, because he did die. When he was 14. And the Lazarus pit stopped him from aging. Forever.
When he becomes Red Hood, he's not seen as a threat at first. Some scrawny, 4'7, barely weighs 60 pounds soaking wet kid with a dumbass mask? Pssh, Crime Alley deals with Batman on the daily, that kid ain't nothing.
Until said kid begins beating their asses. Horrifically. So now, Red Hood is known as the first ever child crime lord.
And the angst? Oh, there's angst. Because rather than dealing with the knowledge that Jason grew up when he was gone, they have to deal with the fact that Jason looks the exact same as the night he died.
Jason is still that scrawny, malnourished 14-year-old, with a smile that could light up the room despite him never showing it now.
Jason can still fit in his old robin costume. He could still. Fit. In. His. Robin. Costume.
That mere realization startled Bruce so badly.
No one is asking "Why would Bruce Wayne be in a Lexcorp meeting", but I have the answer
Bruce has bought enough stocks of the Lexcorp to be there, and he did for 3 main reasons
He just wants to annoy Lex
He's trying to take from the inside/spy the Lexcorp
JL things like trying to stop Lex from doing bad things by annoying him and making his life difficult
the second one is problably for the most trying to make the Lexcorp a better corporation and trying to kick out Lex and then integrating the Lexcorp under the WE to make it an actual good company
And Tim is just there to have fun and keep Brucie Wayne farcade up, probably
Bruce and Tim: *sitting in a LexCorp meeting*
Lex: Alright everybody, thanks for jumping on this all hands.
Lex: *sees Tim*
Lex: Who is this?
Bruce: Oh, this is my corporate translator. He's here to translate all the corporate jargon into words that I can actually understand.
Lex: Uhh alright. I'm gonna have to align with HR to see if this is—
Bruce, to Tim: What's he saying?
Tim: He's saying he's upset by my presence.
Lex: I'm not upset, okay? I'm simply processing this information into a more digestible way.
Tim: Oh yeah, he's really upset.
Lex: Okay, let's just move forward with the meeting, shall we? So Q1 is in the books and we had a very strong showing. Now, there are certainly some gaps within our processes that we're working strategically in order to align that should help us bridge those gaps in a really efficient way.
Bruce: Translator?
Tim: Q1 wasn't good and management is very upset about it.
Lex: That's not what I said, okay? There are certainly some gaps, but management is working lockstep in order to come up with strategic processes in order to alleviate these areas of deficiency.
Tim: They're planning layoffs.
Lex: No. No. That— I'm not saying that, okay? We're just developing ways to become a much leaner organization.
Tim: It's gonna be twenty-five percent of the organization.
Lex: No!
Steph dresses like Adam Sandler. No I will not elaborate, I fully believe she wears the most obnoxious clothing because she can. That girl is walking around with socks and sandles, a snapback hat, an almost oversized minecraft button up creeper shirt, brown khaki pants and a purple galaxy fanny pack strapped to her waist.
Despite all of this she is still able to disappear and it fucking confuses everyone.
Lol Impulse and by association YJ assuming normal civilian Billy is Cursed
A idea, inspired from this panel
It has been weeks but Billy hasn't been able to turn into shazam because he recently made a new friend.....Impulse.
Bart: you know for a kid you sure get struck by lightning a lot! Who'd you make mad?
Billy: Bart I love you but please, LEAVE ME ALONE!
Au where the Drake’s don’t die (they’re just bad parents) and as Tim gets older they start spending a SLIGHT bit more time with him to train him to take over Drake industries. They start trying to set up a marriage to a daughter of a good family for Tim, but he’s dating Bernard, who is not only a man but from a “subpar family.” They demand he break it off.
Tim refuses to break up with his boyfriend, threatens causing a huge scandal and making out with Bernard in public if they engage him to anyone.
Jack and Janet threaten to disown him, bc they think Tim’s been living the soft cushy house (manor) life hidden away from the world on thier money this whole time, so they’re all, “You’ll come crawling back, you need us and our money, this will teach you a lesson.”
Tim, who has been practically independent since he was four, has extensive robin training, access to zetatubes, powerful friends (and enemies) in every major city across the world, at least eight fully stocked safehouses in Upper Gotham alone, a personal bank account under his own name with combined Drake and Wayne allowance, at this point is only in Drake manor when his parents are here (a week with an important gala every four months maybe) and has LITERALLY had a discussion with Bruce about a custody battle due to negligence so he can call himself a Wayne on paper not even a week before, just laughs.
“This is Gotham. I’ll get Bruce Wayne to adopt me.”
That makes them mad. His parents show him the disowning paperwork and kick him out. Tim doesn’t even run to Wayne Manor, he meanders over while tapping at his phone.
Bruce already had the paperwork ready. The Drakes don’t know what’s happening before it’s too late. Tim is a Wayne. They try to challenge it but they relinquished all rights and Tim has receipts of parental neglect and also he already has a room at the manor.
Tim takes over as Wayne Industries CEO (the sooner the funnier) and immediately starts being awesome at it, smug ass grin in every photo, the other Waynes cackling in the background as the Drakes seethe and thier stocks plummet. The next gala they go to, Bruce makes absolutely sure to turn to Tim and go, “So son, when is your boyfriend coming over for dinner?”
Bernard comes back from a family camping trip to find out his boyfriend started an upper crust civil war for the right to date him. And also he’s invited to Wayne Manor. Wtf Tim.
I read somewhere that its common in Arab culture to refer to someone close to you as your organs, implying you can’t live without them. Like in english we’d say “my heart” (qalbi) In Arabic someone would also use “my liver” (kabidi) “my lungs” (riati). Notably, “my blood” is “Dami” which is funny bc it’s Damian’s shortened nickname.
Damian’s brothers have been using the nickname for years with or without knowing. I propose that as Damian gets closer to them, and tim in particular, he responds in kind.
He refers to Tim as “tuhali.”
…it means “my spleen.”
I? Just remembered that Constantine's "Laughing Magician"(?) title is... f*ckin HEREDITARY?
Like?? As in The Constantine Meances have been out here, harrasing divinity and demons alike for GENERATIONS on behalf of a Good Time, the Lols, and probably Humanity if they can be arsed and you make a good case.
W... What chance would there even BE of at least like? HALF those f*ckers(conflicted but affectionate) NOT becoming Realms Ghosts? With the sh*t they're exposed too? With THEIR luck??
You think DEATH can trick them? Take them away for good? Take away the local Rat B@stard, Tricks Gods Just To See If He Can, Fate Is My Second Mistress and I Cuckold Glory On Your Mother's Bed, Constantine?
They run down main street, *ss in the breeze, wearing someone else's shirt and two shoes that don't match, not a stitch else, like run away lovers. Let Death TRY and catch them. Sorry, Luv, it's not them, it's definitely you.
No joke, I bet they set up a whole *ss TOWN of Constantine.
Where the odds are in THEIR favor, gods fear to tread, and reality straight out stops working right. Like Diagonal Ally for B*stards, extended to a whole floating island. Everyone's related. It's Chaos. They can barely stand each other. Would sell each other for a toothpick.
Mess with ANY off them... and you can kiss your afterlife good bye.
They have NO neighbors because both no ones dumb enough to get NEAR them AND no one can stand to be around that many Constantines at once. The physical Manifestation of Fate wants to take the whole LOT of the handsy F*CKS to court for child support and a restraining order.
Somehow... they keep getting Earth Booze.
They SHOULDN'T have access. It's been anywhere from decade to centuries since they died. Millennium for a few. Howms't The F*CK, do they keep getting cheap gin and vodka? Bourbon and beer? Even the odd fruity cocktail for funnies.
Please... PLEASE! Tell the Zone at large, that their innate birthright powers STOPPED at Death. They... they are just REALLY good at smuggling right? Excellent con men?
Tell us they can't f*ckin PREDICT AND INFLUENCE Natural Portals!!!
*smug sipping noises from a large room full of Dead @ssholes*
Okay... They Won't Tell You~ 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺 *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip*
Now! I hear you ask? Why are John's Terrible, Terrible, God Awful Ghostly Relatives relevant? Absurdly powerful as they are... they seem to take the afterlife as an extended "Ha! GET F*CKED, DEMONS WHO WANTED MY SOUL!" Vacation/Family get together.
Minded their business and expected everyone to mind THEIRS, or ELSE.
Didn't give two solitary SH*TS that Pariah woke from his little nappy-poo to cause a tantrum. After all, in their family? When DOESN'T some "great and terrible Power That Be" get itself in a snit? Meh... it's baby Johnny's turn to clean sh*t up. Best of luck to 'im~I'm!
But THEN!
They must've been drinking... making out with their equally terrible and bamf trainwreck significant others... sitting around playing "who can cheat best at cards"... when? Huh.
Never seen the Fate and The Odds... STRANGLE like that.
Billions of billions of What-Ifs, Maybes, Could-bes, and more... suddenly YANKED towards a single spot. The allowance of Only One Outcome. Almost like what they can do, but... not, WRONG, per say...
Just... impossible.
There's NEVER.. JUST one way this plays out. You can control the big notes. The script. But the details and set dressing will always decide themselves.
NO ONE can just... Decide What Will Happen. And yet?
...............was....... was that Little Johnny? Has to be. Right? Where's his old man? Oi! Was that your Kid??! John's closest relatives are baffled. Nope. They can still feel him laying a beat down on some demon in Norway. So then? Who?
How?
Well mark them CURIOUS(tm).
They decide to actually get up. Put their various drinks and cards down. Put pants on. Somebody's done something... INTERESTING(TM) and they want to know what's up. So? Off they trot.
It's traumatizing from everyone who sees them. The Constantines have breached f*ckin B*stard Containment and are spilling into the Zone. On this! The DAY Pariah Waged A War! THEY JUST GOT RID OF HIM!
And Danny? His everything hurts. The Eyeballs are starting to come out of the woodwork and ARGUE about him like he's not even there. He's DANGEROUS blah blah blah. Give them the crown. Right now! Etc etc.
Somethings telling him not too.
It's... it's HIS isn't it? Has been for centuries and seconds. And... and... everyone one of him is King. There is only one of him. The Zone covers all the multiverse and all of the Hims that were and aren't here and helped and... and...! His head is starting to hurt.
But the more they try to push him to hand it over, the less he feels like unhanding the dang gaudy thing. No. His now. He'll use it as a DOOR stopper if he dang well feels like it! Stop yelling.
Then all these blonde ghosts saunter in... and all he can think is "F*ck. I think they noticed."
Huh?
@stealingyourbones @cyrwrites @bjurnberg @the-witchhunter @hdgnj
(Woooo more nasty prompts! WOoo the Joker 😏 Hope it is as requested and you all like it :3 Gif not mine/found it on google/credit to the original)
-Him usually starting it as he simply couldn’t let go of your lips the moment you’d try to back away from his kiss
-Him showing his possessiveness by gripping your cheeks and reaching to your hair as he sloppily delves his tongue into your mouth
-Him laughing and smirking maniacally to hear your little moans and whimpers, only to tell you to breath in and out in between kisses
-Him pulling you tightly to him and if he can pulling you to sit completely on his lap as his hand travels down to feel your body
-Him nipping and bitting at your lips simply because he wants to hear you moan and beg for more
-Him occasionally making you feel his scars, only to laugh and start kissing you again, seeing how needy you are
-Him gripping your hair to pull you back just to ask you who do you belong to, only to be satisfied once you say what he wants to hear
-Him getting rough and tearing your shirt to attack your neck and chest, only to hand you his jacket to cover yourself whenever you are both done
-Him gripping your waist to control the way you would grind up against him
-Him always leaving hickeys and bite marks to make everyone realize that you’re his
Dick: *throws himself onto Wally’s chest, face first* What is this? I’ can’t understand anything!! *waves a paper in his face*
Wally: *pushes it away* You can’t read it because whoever wrote it was Russian.
Dick: I don’t care how fast they were typing! This makes no sense!!! *whines and shakes the paper harder*
Cass: Someone call Wally to pick us up. I don’t trust Steph after she totaled the car.
Steph: *about to refute but pauses, looking at the broken care* You right. You right.
Duke: I don’t have his number yet. *looks around at his new siblings nervously*
Damian: Worry not, Thomas. I have place West’s number last night as The Red Head Richard Can’t Get.
Dick: Awe, Dami. That’s so sw- * realize what he said* Hey!
Duke: *looks so done* Impeding on my privacy must really be a bat thing.
Dick: Don’t worry, I got this. *calls Wally*
Barbara: *4 minutes later* He don’t got this.
Dick: *pouts* He’s not picking up.
Jason: He never picks up. *smirks* Special if its you.
Dick: *offended*
Tim: *just got off the phone with Wally* I don’t know what you guys are talking about. He always picks up for me.
All: Of course.
Dick: *torn between picking a fight over being the favorite and be terrified over Wally’s temper*
Nightwing: *walks in as Batman and with a new Robin-its Damian. Damian is the new Robin.*
Tim: *in shock and heartbroken* You didn’t even ask me…
Wally: *twitches* Kids bed. Now. I want to talk to your brother.
Nightwing: *flinches in fear* No kids, stay. Please stay.
Wally: *points to the stairs leading back up to the mantion* Go. Go!
Nightwing: *starting to panic* Stay. Stay!
Wally: Now! *starting to get angry*
Nightwing: *knowing this is going to end badly without any witnesses.* Cass, don’t move!
Cass: *looks between the two, shifting feet*
Wally: You go!
Nightwing: *grasping straws* Jason, stay!
Jason: *having a blast, snorts and slowly backs away with Tim*
Wally: *near the end of his rope* Get out of here!
Nightwing: *full panic mode* Don’t leave me!
Wally: You get out of here! *left angry behind and how is furious*
Steph: *is sending Barbara a text while cackling as she drag the newest bird out with everyone* Come on guys. Momma’s gonna beat dad’s ass.
Wally: *lets out a snarl once everyone is gone* RICHARD JOHN GREYSON!
Nightwing: *shrieks in fear*
Barbara: *is recording from the safety of her nest*
Wally & Alfred: *exchanging stories, going over mission reports and how much medical supplies is use by the Bat Family*
Bat Fam: *enters the Bat Cave, taking off their mask with verity of wounds. From a large gash on Jason’s chest to Cass’s broken nose*
Wally: *lets out a loud scandalous gasp* My baby!
Tim: *with only a tiny scrap on his chin, lets out a squeak as Wally picks him up and carries him away*
Bat Fam: *Blinks in confusion*
Jason: *looks at Cass* You see me?
Cass: *nods*
Jason: *looks at Steph* Can you see me?
Steph: Hell yeah, I can see you.
Damian: *looks at his competition in tired disgust before running after Wally and Tim* Wait West, I require medical assistance! My arm has been broken!
Dick: *stands frozen next to Batman* ….I thought I was the favorite?
Alfred: *raises a brow elegantly* My apologies young Master Richard but since when?
Wally: *reborn into a new world, memories come back at 5 years old* Ah
Wally: *learns that there are still heroes* Thank god…
Wally: *at eight years old finds out that his best friend has gone missing with his whole family* Ahh
Wally: *the Grayson are now a cold case, he’s missing his other half and there is no such thing as sidekicks* Ahhh
Wally: *Is in Gotham with his Aunt Iris, at the age of thirteen, for a news conversation. Has someone fly into their room, rolls across and stops at his feet* Ahhhh
Wally: But we’re ten stories high?! *Sees that the large lump at his feet. Freaks internally at the sight of his best friend’s ink stained face and panicky threw him into the bathroom where the shower is still running* Ahhhhh
Batman: *burst in three minutes later, thank god the window was open* Where’s the Talon?
Wally: *close to having a meltdown* What the fuck is a Talon?
Batman: *scrutinizing the room and zero’s in on the bathroom* Who’s in there?
Wally: My aunt, you furry pervert.
Batman: Been in there for a long day.
Wally: It’s been a long day.
*Batman walks towards the bathroom and Wally pops in front of him*
Wally: Whoa there undies on suit. That’s my aunt. Get out or I’ll call the Flash and security.
Batman: No metas in Gotham.
Wally: *snorts* Do I give a fuck? *pulls out his phone* Everyone knows Flash pops up in Gotham once in a while. The fans keep track Batsy.
*Stare down between the two, Wally wins and Batman takes off*
Wally: Pussie
TalonDick: *pops up next to him* Pussie
Wally: *Internal screaming*