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Chris Pontius - Blog Posts
jackass members - date night perfume edition!!
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johnny - something classic, but not too overpowering (although i can see him with a layer of an old-time-cologne, the one with manly man design and a strong pine/aldehyde scent). there's also a very light whiff of tobacco and... do you know how air smells on a hot summer day, behind a gas station, when road dust settles all over your skin, but everything around you blooms, and it's the best day of your life? yeah, that's the one, gasoline, dust and mid-heatwave euphoria.
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steve-o - raw, alive and somewhat hedonistic. i can picture him wearing some heavy perfume (bull's blood on the picture is probably the best example, roses, musk and tobacco), probably overspraying it a bit, who's going to tell him? there is also an undertone of sickly sweet soda that he spilled on himself on his way to you, and faint, but definitely present, hint of the few joints that he carries around in his chest pocket, waiting for the special occasion to light them up (preferably with you).
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chris - rules and playing it safe? they are not in this guy's vocabulary! chris has his favorite signature scent (probably something unisex, maybe even more female-leaning) that comes with him everywhere. it's a complicated (maybe even too strong for some) combination of vetiver, ylang-ylang and patchouli. he loves green scents that make him smell like a deep breath after summer rain.
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bam - we're definitely getting something edgy here. incense, amber, smoke, just imagine a burning haunted house and there he is. ash, burnt match, leather and dried flowers. gothic, dark and alluring, like a late night cemetery walk. he will probably keep a flask of his favorite perfume in his pocket and respray every time he goes to the bathroom/you leave the room - you have to keep up your vampiric charm!
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they just randomly decided to hit the 2012 indie summer arthouse coming of age movie and I couldn't love them more for that
love is patient; love is kind and envies no one.
love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude.
it does not insist on its own way.
it does not take offense;
nor does it keep a record of wrongs.
The hyperfixation is coming back strong
Haven't posted in awhile, Hello!!
One of my favorite photos of knoxville❤️
will forever love this video
the laugh omg I love him
we're getting gay
I love but hate this scene so much
I love this movie
WHAT DO YOU WANT
JACKASS MASTERLIST
Hello! My name is Kandi and I am an aspiring author. In this masterlist you can find all my works for this series linked under their respective characters. I write for the characters listed but I will make exceptions if requested. Thank you and happy reading!
JOHNNY KNOXVILLE
-coming soon!
STEVE-O
-coming soon!
RYAN DUNN
-coming soon!
BAM MARGERA
-coming soon!
CHRIS PONTIUS
-coming soon!
RACHEL WOLFSON
-coming soon!
This masterlist along with my others with be updated any time a new fic is dropped or in the process of being worked on.
fun fact i have a jackass x one direction dr
SANDBOX LOVE WITH OUR BOY KNOX.
a prompt.
CIGARETTES OUT THE WINDOW
—j. knoxville
chapter 2. (SERIES + social media AU + crackfic)
ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 𓂂 ﾟ𓈒 ݁ .
The sun escaped from the sides of the blinds that protected your window and fell ever so softly into your face as if it was waking you up personally. Your eyes fluttered open and your body started up again as you tried to get up. Your whole body ached as normal, but this time there was a different feeling accompanying it. It was the same feeling you got when you had something… new. A new idea for a book, outfit, art piece, or even so simple as a song. It fell heavy onto your heart and it reminded you of your actions last night. You couldn’t decide if you were stupid or naive. Stupid to actually think that you had a chance at reconnecting with your lost friend, or naive for the same reason.
You picked up your phone and looked through your notifications as usual. Though you were surprised to be met with messages.
rydunn so its on the 14th
rydunn nd i’ll send u the adress later
system notification you have been added to JACKASSES
rydunn srry they made me
worldofbam did u rlly know johnny as a kid
callmesteveo r u hit
callmesteveo hot*
partyboypontius i cackled
englanddave block them n run while you still can @usern6me
callmesteveo i’m hurt. offended, even.
The conversation went on through the notifications as you scrolled. Honestly you’d never think you’d end up acquaintances with such people. They were the type—in your point of view—of people who always seemed cool and funny, but you’d feel too awkward to go to up and hear your embarrassing voice manage to ask them if you could hang out.
You spaced out because of this chain of thoughts and were brought back to earth by a buzz from your phone. It was Ryan. He’d sent you the address. Now this meant that you were really in it. No turning back. You were really emphasizing everything, it wasn’t that big of a deal looking back on it. But at that time and moment the only thing on your mind was the anxiety of Pj being upset at your presence.
Your first instinct was to call your friend. She always was there to listen, if not to give good advice.
ring.
ring.
ri-
“hello?”
“babe i think i fucked up. like hugely this time.”
She listened to every word you had to say and as soon as the silence set into the air, she burst out laughing. “You-you…. Oh my god…. This is great!!” she struggled to get out through giggles. “Shut up..” you retort. “Nono really, this is fantastic! I’ve been tortured all these years by not getting closure to the story. Kind of like a fanfic where it hasn’t been updated since 5 years ago!” she reasons. You let out a gut laugh. “Imagine how i feel.” you roll your eyes, forgetting she couldn’t see it. The call went on for another hour or so, you couldn’t really tell.
After a minute to process, you decided to actually go. Officially. No turning back, no making up a pathetic excuse, no nothing. But with the decision, came the realization that time is moving rather quickly towards the day that you dread so much. Thank god you had you had just started on your new album before moving again. The appointments for recording and lyric-writing helped take your mind off of Pj.
editors note: this shit is so short srry lol
romanticizing being a jackass member.
his dead eyes mean the world to me
being a stan for both these mfs is so hard 💔
CIGARETTES OUT THE WINDOW
— johnny k.
chapter I. -+ “down the rabbit hole.”
[ social media AU - crackfic - SERIES ]
✩ ˖˚˳⊹
You were on the way to your new LA apartment from the airport in the backseat of a taxi, and you’d turn off your phone after you posted that last picture of the city view you had out the car window. Your dog was warmly asleep next to you, with his head on your lap. That added some type of comfort at least. You softly scratched his head as you closed your eyes and focused on the sound of the city around you.
When you were dropped off to your apartment you couldn’t stay there for long. You didn’t have enough energy to un-pack and the rest of your furniture wouldn’t be here until 5 pm the next day. So you grabbed Paul Anka’s leash and went out to look for a place to eat. When you finally found a place after walking, you turned on your phone as you got your food and all the notifications came flooding in. You fed some fries to your dog sat next to you as you scrolled through the notifications.
One seemed to catch your eye…
“rydunn wait, aren’t you johnny’s friend?”
What? You unlocked your phone to go on instagram to see the person had also privately messaged you.
(n6me)
sorry
i don’t know who johnny is..
rydunn
johnny knoxville?
sorry i’m one of his friends and was just wondering
(n6me)
i still dk who johnny knoxville is tho
rydunn
does pj clapp help?
some people might know him as that
(n6me)
you know him??
how??
rydunn
yeah
we met on jackass
(n6me)
jackass??
rydunn
it’s a show
“so he made it..” you thought. You didn’t notice even the warmth on your heart growing more and more through-out your body. I mean, it wasn’t your fault you felt insanely proud at the moment.
(n6me)
does it do good?
rydunn
?
(n6me)
the show
rydunn
oh
well yeah i mean that’s kinda why we’re celebrating
(n6me)
really?
omg that’s amazing
rydunn
thanks lol
so
should i put u down the guest list? or r u not coming
(n6me)
actually
ill be there
As soon as your thumb hit the blue “send” button this rush of realization hit you like a sack of bricks. You were agreeing to going to this celebration with people you didn’t know, at a place you weren’t sure of, to see the one person you would give up everything for that hasn’t talked to you in 12 years. Wow. 12 has never seemed like such a big number.
You couldn’t help but let the smile of shock spread across your face. You always did that. You kind of hated it, whenever you were proud or shocked you smiled. You didn’t know why but you could never stop that stupid grin from showing.
After paying for your food, you walked with Paul Anka all the way back to your empty and cold apartment. You pulled some of your things out of you suitcase while sitting on a random spot in the wide living room. You remembered you packed your pillow for the airplane trip and pulled that out while it was on your mind. The air suddenly became heavier to breathe and there was a scream you felt deeper in your throat with the reminder of what was to come.
You immediately stuff your face into the pillow and let out the best scream you could while giggling. “WHAT THE FUCK!” you cackled into the pillow. What have you dared to get yourself into?