3 Am Writing - Blog Posts

Rexwalker but it’s that one scene from httyd 2 between Valka and Stoic.

Takes place in an AU where Anakin doesn’t turn and they cross paths either when Rex is w/ the bad batch or when he’s w/ the ghost crew. (Do not ask me how this affects the continuity it’s 2/3am brain rot, enjoy.) (reworded to fit the ship)

———————

Rex: I know what you're going to say, Anakin. How could I have done this? Turned on everyone so quick. And why didn't I come back after? Once my chip was removed.

Well, what sign did I have that you were alive, Anakin? That anyone survived after the order went out?

I didn’t want to fight you or anybody, I wanted to go against the chip, but my body wouldn’t listen.

I know that I betrayed you and then left... but I thought you’d be better off without me. And maybe that was wrong, I see that now, but...

Why are you so calm, Anakin! Go on... SHOUT, SCREAM, SAY SOMETHING!

*Anakin cupping Rex’s face with his hand.*

Anakin: You're as beautiful as the day I lost you

Another thunderclap rang out and woke me up once again. Just as I was about to drift off to sleep the thunder would jolt me into consciousness. They kept getting louder, though, as if it was getting annoyed of how quickly I could sleep.

But I had to stay awake tonight. I just had to.

3.26 am huh.

He should be here any minute now.

I looked out to the city. Little specks of light here and there.

Some would go to sleep and some were just waking up.. Street lights and headlights lit up a bit of the streets.

Light made most look around them in awe.. But somehow it made me wonder what or who thrived in the shadows.

I sat near the warmth of the fireplace, not caring about the dying fire.. - I didn't mind the dark so much you see. The orange hue reflected off the polished wood floor and shadows crawled on the walls.

3.44am....he should've managed to crawl up the first flight of stairs at least.

I brought out the first aid kit and kept it on the coffee table. Its just a matter of time. after setting everything up, I sauntered over to the kitchen. If I'm gonna stay up.. Might as well have some coffee.

I pulled out a mug and put on some soft music. The only problem was that I was supposed to feel awake but the chilly weather and soothing music only lulled me further to sleep.

Being sleepy didn't do much good but it was as if my limbs knew what they were doing. I absentmindedly drifted around the kitchen and somehow my mug was now filled with piping hot coffee... Dammit.. I must've got carried away.. There was enough left over to fill another cup. Oh well looks like I'm gonna be having tw-

The door slammed open and in stepped a 5'11ft tall towering man with his balance faltering and eyes red.

Well... I guess I'm awake now.

"why?... Why won't you just give me a chance? Us... A chance?"

Yep. He was drunk. He doesn't just go around slurring those words everyday.

"Iri-"

"No Roxy. I'm tired of you explaining the same shit again and again. You aren't fooling anybody.. But yourself."

A few steps closer and i saw the bruise on his jaw and his slightly busted lip. Why can't he just drunk cry or drunk laugh like other people?

".. And it's useless because I know you do."

Shit I zoned out.

He stepped ahead and put his palms on either side of my face, leaned down to meet my eyes and said with a smirk, "Well at least your eyes don't lie."

Damn him and damn that smirk.. That stupid smi-

And now his head was on my shoulder.

And I think he's sleeping. Great. How do I haul him to the couch now?

He just had to be a giant and pass out on my shoulder.

"You love me Roxy.. I know you do."

I sighed. I did.. But he doesn't need to know that... Does he? I'm no good at this love thing.

"Iris..I don't. Can't you just drop it already?"

His arms went around my waist and he whispered ever so slightly, "Oh dear.....I think you lie."

And the next moment his lips were on mine and my fingers were tangled in his hair. I could taste the alcohol on him and the way his lip throbbed from the fight but I could care less.

Because if he was drunk and hurt.. Then so was I.

He pulled back a little and I cursed myself for ever needing air when clearly the only thing I needed from the beginning was him.

"I hate to say this but... I told you so."

That's when the trance i was in shattered and i scurried back.

"Iris. We need to stop. That was a mistake. I don't love you.. Hell I don't even care ab-"

"Oh really? Is that why there's a first aid kit on the coffee table?"

A step ahead.

"Is that why you're up at 3 in the morning? Because you know it's a Friday and im going to come home dunk and beaten?"

Another step forward and now he was a breathe away from my face.

"Is that why there are two mugs on the kitchen counter? I'm guessing the mug on the left is my black coffee with 1 teaspoon sugar."

And that's when a little voice in my head said 'fuck it' and as soon as we landed on the couch in a tangled mess.. That changed to 'fuck yes.'

And that's the story of how I ended up wide awake throughout the night without any coffee.

i feel like i don't really know what love is

like all the time i searched for it and craved it in every girl that was nice to me or even wasn't but now after i watched this movie i don't think i know what love means. it seems so unconditional and pure and i always thought that i know what love is and what it feels like and that i've been in love with people even if they didn't share the same. i look at my brother and his girlfriend and i see such purity and unconditional love in their eyes. but when i think back i don't know if i ever really felt that for a person. all the "love" i felt for people always had a mildy fear of pain. the fear that they don't love me back and if i act like that now that they won't like me anymore and i lose them. and in fact it mostly ended like that everytime. people get so sick of me and seem to forgot me quickly that i already had forgotten me. i think love will come but i don't know if i'm capable to really feel it or if i'm really getting irritated then. love is such a complex emotion. i always thought i had it but now i don't know if my feelings will ever got over the "you're my crush please notice me" phase. or is this already the love everyone is talking about because it sure doesn't feel like it.

actually i should go to sleep i'm really tired and i propably just think to much into it right now and tomorrow i will wake up and think what have i written yesterday? and the thought will fade away like real love does

or does it?

                                                             3:41 AM