Latest Posts by synnamon-rolls - Page 2

Nico Rosberg as the swan

Mark Webber as the kangaroo

Sebastian vettel as the fox

Lando Norris also fits the fox

I feel so... down whenever I want to watch queer or trans videos because I know in the back of my mind that none of the current large queer content creators' content or community is safe for people like me, intersex people.

I love their work otherwise, but it hurts badly to hear them toss around casual intersexism in their videos constantly when discussing queer and trans issues and nobody ever mentions it.

And because these are large, popular creators, nobody has ever listened when I've tried to ask they adjust their language. My dms go ignored or unseen and my public comments get drowned out by fans defending their intersexist comments. It's emotionally draining and exhausting, I just want to be included in my own community.

im so tired so here's a recap of what trump did today summarized and probably incomplete because we are in super hell:

End birthright citizenship (a.k.a the 14th amendment)

Remove the legal existence of non-binary people

Withdraw from the world health organization

pardon jan 6 people

Hey. Hi. Hello. Today I learned about the existence of 15th century Welsh poet Gwerful Mechain and that she apparently has a surviving work of erotic poems.

Please. For Christmas. For Yule. Please tell me more because I can't read Welsh.

Heh heh. Oh, Gwerful Mechain is the absolute best.

(Quick housekeeping to keep the post manageable - I previously wrote about things like cynghanedd and cywydds and englyns and such here, so check that if you need an explanation.)

What's fun is that we don't know a ton about her, because not a lot got written down about people in her time. Her surviving work covers a 40ish year span at the end of the 1400s to just into the 1500s, but we don't know when she was born or died or anything like that. We know her parents' names? And that she was from Mechain, hence the bardic name. And that she married a guy and had a daughter, something which actually does mark out her body of work as different from her contemporaries; being a wife and mother, she couldn't do the usual bardic role of travelling the country to spread news and play at courts. This means she doesn't have any of the praise poetry that a lot of male bards produced about the lords that hosted them.

But, there's stuff we can piece together about her. For one thing, she was not just literate (not a universal skill for anyone at that point, but especially for women), but she was astonishingly well-read and had what appears to be a classical education, given her poetic references and traditional Welsh meters. For another, her work often had recurring themes of religion, sex, and women's rights, sometimes all at the same time.

At the point Gwerful was active, Welsh bardic culture heavily featured ymrysonau. An ymryson is like... well, I hesitate to say "sort of like a rap battle" after the way everyone and their dog now thinks that's what the Mari Lwyd does, but they were like a cross between a rap battle and the publication war between two rival academics. A bard would write an englyn and publish it in the local parish newsletter. Another bard would see this, and write their own englyn about how stupid the first bard's englyn was, and publish it in the same newsletter. The first bard would see this and retaliate. The second bard would retaliate to that. And on and on it would go, like a printed tennis match for all the parishioners to enjoy, until someone wrote a conclusive verse OR until someone went "Lol, you got me good there" and bowed out with dignity. Sometimes, these things were fucking vicious; but other times, they were just banter between two bards who knew each other and were enjoying the chance to keep their poetic skills in tip top condition.

Now, Gwerful was an active and enthusiastic participant in ymrysonau. We have many examples of her work from these. There are two of particular note that I'll list here, each against a different bard:

Dafydd Llwyd o Fathafarn. Mathafarn and Mechain are not so distant from one another, so no real surprise that these two locked horns a lot, but the impression I always got from their ymrysonau is that they were good mates, actually. These fell into the 'banter' category more often than not. Dafydd was a Welsh Nationalist who was hoping for a Welshman to rise up and throw off the yoke of English oppression, and most of his work is about that, but he turned up the filthy erotic shit for any ymryson with Gwerful because BOY HOWDY was that her specialty. IIRC she did occasionally poke fun at his Welsh Nash leanings, especially his obsession with Mab Darogan (OLD Welsh idea that translates to the Son of Prophesy - the Arthur-style figure that will one day drive out the English overlords), but mostly their ymrysonau were incredibly beautifully-written odes that could be summed up as "Dafydd, my man, my good friend, I mean this sincerely: suck my entire clit".

She often won.

Ieuan Dyfi. God, what a fucking asshole. This one was not banter. Gwerful played for blood with this prick.

We actually would know nothing about Ieuan Dyfi if not for Gwerful Mechain, because it was her poetic response to him that meant his only surviving poems made it to the modern day; that, and the record of him being brought before a church court where he admitted adultery with Anni Goch, a married woman. Oh, and the record of him being brought before the law courts at Liverpool, accused of domestic abuse and gambling? If I remember right?

Two things to know that set the scene for what came next:

One of Gwerful Mechain's surviving poems is an englyn considered to be possibly the oldest extant poem about domestic violence written by a woman: I’w gŵr am ei churo (To the husband who beats her)

Dager drwy goler dy galon - ar osgo I asgwrn dy ddwyfron; Dy lin a dyr, dy law’n don, A’th gleddau i’th goluddion.

There are a lot of translations for this one to try to keep its poeticness, but this one is pretty good:

Through your heart’s lining let there be pressed, slanting down, A dagger to the bone in your chest. Your knee smashed, your hand crushed, may the rest Be gutted by the sword you possessed.

She has others, too, that deal with sexual assault, and something scholars often note about Gwerful is her remarkable knowledge of the law as it pertained to women's issues. So she was not, you see, a woman with a high view of a man accused of domestic violence anyway.

But then Ieuan Dyfi wrote five poems about Anni Goch, the married woman he'd fucked, each more "Wow dude, she said no" than the last, culminating in I Anni Goch; a full cywydd of misogynistic Medieval-incel bullshit about how false and evil women are, which listed all the false and evil women of history including classical and mythological figures.

And. Well. Gwerful had some views.

Her responding cywydd - I ateb Ieuan Dyfi am gywydd Anni Goch - basically blasted the guy back into his own impact crater and disintegrated him. What she did with it, essentially, was to mirror his cywydd. Where he'd gone "Isn't it so true how great men throughout history have always been brought low by women, amirite lads? Here's examples", Gwerful went "Isn't it so true how 'great men' throughout history have behaved appallingly and fucked up through their own actions and then somehow managed to blame women, amirite lads? Here's examples." Where his examples had been historical figures, so were hers. Where his had been classical, so were hers. Where he went Biblical, so did she.

And what's so interesting about that last one is how pointed she was with it - for some reason, in his big list of evil women, Ieuan Dyfi did not go for the most obvious and low-hanging of fruit (no pun intended) - he doesn't cite Eve. In response, Gwerful also sidesteps the most obvious and low hanging of fruit - she doesn't cite Mary. In so doing, she makes it clear that she doesn't even need to.

There is no record of him responding to her. IIRC, there is a record of him doing three years in prison.

But! Outside of all of that, the big thing Gwerful was known for was her erotic poetry. You'll be unsurprised to hear that it wasn't written for shits and giggles - much like today, women of the time were told that most of their value was in their looks, and they had plentiful insecurities about their bodies. Gwerful wrote her erotic stuff to confront those insecurities and shine a light on the issue. There are so many examples of this, but far and away the most famous is definitely Cywydd y Cedor - roughly translated, 'Ode to the Vulva'. Though I have also seen it titled Cywydd y Gont - Ode to the Cunt. It's such a shame that the English language is literally, physically not capable of cynghanedd, because it means unless you learn Welsh you will never understand the beauty and the lyricism of the piece, and how it elevates and undercuts the content at the same time; but it's a joyful, masterful, irreverent work that uses the fancy language male poets were forever dedicating to the rest of a woman's body and applies it squarely to the vulva. In fact it basically opens with "Men are cowards, describe more cunts or gtfo" before launching into its main subject matter. The last line is pro-pubic hair, too, like I really must stress how much Gwerful Mechain would have to offer Tumblr if you could speak Welsh. This is probably her most widely translated piece, though, you can definitely find English versions. Although you can tell how blushing and reticent the translator is - and therefore how sanitised their translation is - by whether they've called it Ode to the Vulva/Cunt, or Ode to the Pubic Hair.

Needless to say, the original is not sanitised.

(Actually, I should also say - this one is also a response piece, probably, but in this case to a bard who lived a century earlier - Dafydd ap Gwilym, the absolutely legendary and uncontested king of Welsh romance poetry. He wrote a poem called Cywydd y Gal - Ode to the Penis. I have only just put two and two together on that.)

As a final note, I should say that my personal favourite Gwerful Mechain poem on this subject, mind, is actually I'w morwyn wrth gachu - to the maiden who is shitting. It's an englyn written in Gwerful's customary high poetic form, but it is what it says - it describes a woman taking a shit, and farting as she does. Beautiful and magical and disgusting and banal, all in one go:

Crwciodd lle dihangodd ei dŵr - ’n grychiast O grochan ei llawdwr; Ei deudwll oedd yn dadwr’, Baw a ddaeth, a bwa o ddŵr

Funnily enough, it's hard to find a good translation for this one lol.

My attempt:

She crouched where her water escaped - creased From the cauldron of her heat; Her two holes were arguing, Shit came, and a bow of water

Eh. It's so bland in English. Honestly, if you could read Welsh...

Anyway, if anyone reading this can read Welsh and wants to read some of Gwerful Mechain's stuff - including some of the pieces she was responding to in the ymrysonau - you can find a load here. Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed!

^what he said

Formula 1 History: 1982 South African Grand Prix drivers strike

The 1982 South African Grand Prix was a Formula 1 race held at Kyalami on January 23rd, 1982. It was the first race of the 1982 season. Strike action was taken by the Grand Prix Drivers’ Association, led by Niki Lauda and Didier Pironi, to protest the new super license conditions imposed by FISA, which tied drivers to a single team for up to three years. A late compromise was reached and the race went ahead. All drivers who participated were fined between $5,000-$10,000 dollars and handed suspended race bans. The FIA Court of Appeal later reduced the penalties and criticised FISA’s handling of the dispute. Alain Prost went on to win the race and Niki Lauda participated in his first race after two years out of F1 and finished fourth.

When the season started, only five drivers of twenty-five had signed their contracts (which included the super-liscence clause). Pironi and Lauda stated the case that “there should only be contracts that were mutually binding … if I [Lauda] am not allowed to leave McLaren, then McLaren is not allowed to fire me.” At a meeting of the drivers before the race, in was established that, with the exception of Jacky Ickx and Jochen Mass, they were all in favor of holding out. It was decided that the drivers would call a strike and boycott practice on Thursday. In the words of Lauda, “Driver solidarity had never been all that impressive in Formula 1, not even in the days of Graham Hill and Jackie Stewart … In this instance … driver solidarity was extremely important because we couldn’t afford to let the united front crumble. 

Niki then thought of the plan TO RENT A BUS. YEAH. At seven in the morning on Thursday, a bus drew up to the track and parked at the entrance of the paddock. Inside it was a chafferer, Pironi and the undersigned. As each other drivers arrived, they were asked to park their cars and “get into the bus. They were going for a ride.” Ickx and Mass wouldn’t go along but all the others took their places on the bus instead of the grid. Everyone “seemed happy and there was a sense of strength through unity.” They took the bus the long way to a beautiful hotel in Johannesburg. Pironi then found out that there was news that all the drivers would be banned for life if they participated in this. All the drivers, of course, ignored this and instead chilled out at the pool and had a “really splendid day.” Bernie Ecclestone gave an ultimatum to Piquet and Patrese and both of them had effectively been “sacked.”

The younger drivers gave issue because they were more afraid of getting banned or fined for broken contracts. The good mood persisted through dinner and there was a lot of laughter when they had to ask the hotel manager for a room. ONE ROOM. ONE ROOM FOR ALL THE DRIVERS. They were given a “small banquet suite” and there was a piano but the bathroom was down the hall. They called up some sheets and spread them on the floor along with some mattresses. Roberto Guerrero manager came to the room with his girlfriend and tried to coax him out of it. Guerrero and his girlfriend broke down into tears but then they kicked the manager out and allowed the girlfriend to some inside instead. Gilles Villeneuve and Elio de Angelis began playing the piano and the atmosphere “picked up again.” Arrows team chief Jacky Oliver came and tried to force himself into the room and even brought the POLICE along. They managed to get the door halfway open before all the diets pushed it shut and used the piano to block the door. The younger drivers began to panic and most of them went to Lauda for reassurance. Throughout it all, Pironi and Nelson Piquet were lightening the mood through strength and jokes.

Eventually, they had to get some sleep. Since the bathroom was down the hall, there was one room key they all had to use. They put it on a plate in the middle of the room and crossed their hearts (Niki’s words) that they would use the bathroom and come straight back with the key. However, Teo Fabi chickened out and left with the key and never returned. Then proceeds to take a vote to see if they could continue and the vote was unanimous. In the end, Pironi came to terms with Balestre and they ended up wining the battle. 

What Changes Were Made in the FIA Sporting Code regarding Driver Conduct penalties?

I want to clarify a few things regarding the new regulations the FIA published with regard to penalties for driver conduct.

None of the written rules were changed. All of the listed points were in the rules starting 2024(some prior, these have been an ongoing encroachment on conduct within the sport)

What has changed is 2 things.

The actual name and nature of Appendix B

The penalty system outlined for breaching these guidelines

Formerly Appendix B was the "Code of Good Conduct". Now it's the "Steward's Penalty Guidelines"

Here is what the former code of good conduct looked like (It has been removed from the FIA website and replaced with the current new document)

Now you can find all of these rules for driver conduct and the FIA stating that these are punishable actions under the article 12 of International Sporting Code of the FIA. None of these rules are new.

What is new are the specified penalties to be handed out for infractions of these rules of conduct. The new appendix outlines specific scales of punishment that should accompany these specific infractions. The outlining of fines as well as further punitive measures required if a driver is found to be in violation of the regulation by the stewards is what is new.

Specifically the amount of fines, as well as the requirement for an apology, points deductions and race bans are all new.

In addition to the stipulation for a 2 year time period on these accruing penalty levels.

You can find all of this at the FIA regulations page. However the old version of Appendix B is unavailable and is hard to find online since it's been replaced.

Article 12 in the ISC deals with the scale of penalties.

Appendix B is the Steward's Penalty Guidelines

Appendix L chapter 4 is driver conduct guidelines

Hopefully this clears some things up about what has changed and what it means for driver conduct and how drivers may be penalized this year.

Note: I am against these changes and this penalty structure.

okay heres the rosquez history™️ im fully copying this from dms i sent my bff so- do not judge how it looks. i am truly sorry for this monstrosity and that you have to read it

okay so vale dominated the mid-2000s, he has 9 world titles, 7 from motogp (or 500cc back then) marc is uhhh 14 years younger i think? and he looked up to vale. like a lot. (he mightve had a poster of vale in his bedroom growing up)

and then marc starts riding in moto3 and moto2 and its like ‘holy shit that kid is so good’ but also he’s insanely aggressive ?? like so aggressive that he essentially develops a new riding style. and around that time there are a bunch of riders in motogp, namely vale and jorge lorenzo (who marc DID ACTUALLY have a poster of i think) telling marc to calm down and ride cleaner.

in 2013 marc moves up to motogp and life is good for him!! so good!! he becomes the youngest race winner ever and then the youngest motogp champion ever and hes like in love with vale and keeps making heart eyes at him but thats ok!! bc vale makes heart eyes at marc all the time too.

so in 2013 and 2014 everything is great 🫶🫶 theyre in love, vale invites marc to the ranch, blablabla theyre gay whatever. but then 2015 it all goes to shit

marc has a bunch of retirements so it becomes pretty clear that hes not winning the title again. but vale is very much in title contention (hes fighting jorge) plus marc and vale have fought like a lot of times on track and uhhh… things arent that great between them? but whatever bc at least its still cordial. until sepang where they’re fighting again and marc crashes and oops!! it looks like vale kicked marcs bike. vale gets a back of the grid penalty for the crash and he cant recover from that so jorge wins the 2015 title! and from that point marc and vale hate. each other. vale thinks that marc fought him so hard bc he didnt want vale to be champion/wanted a spanish rider to be champion and obvi marc is mad about the kick/alleged crash.

in 2016 they seem to make peace for a lil while? but then in 2018 argentine theyre fighting again. and like i said marc is really aggressive so he kind of crashes vale out? ( im biased towards marc he can do no wring sorry) and after the race marc goes over to vales motorhome to apologize but uccio (vales bff/truck driver/idrk hes just always there) sends marc away. vale later says that he did it bc he knew it wasnt a genuine apology ?

yeah and from that point on they just dont talk. they hate each other for a while, sure, but that fades to a dislike, and dislike fades into indifference and they just do not. care anymore

also there are a lot of other moments like the infamous handshake press interview thing, but also they apparently shook hands in private later? and them in 2020 marc crashes, misses a season, comes back in 2021 for like half a season, then vale retired blablabla they just don’t interact anymore but motogp still liked making them sit awkwardly next to each other in press conferences. uhh yeah that’s basically it but marc did talk abt vale recently and he talked abt how vale had a giant impact on the sport and also he said that he wouldnt act differently in 2015 bc vale was the one who lost his temper 💀💀

omg they really are strangers to hero worship to friends to lovers to enemies to reluctant colleagues with history to enemies again to strangers what the fuck. what is in motorsport water that makes men act like this

George, I need you to start Russelling like you never have before and make the PowerPoint presentation of a life time.

what the fuckkkkkkkk

Explanations and evidence below the cut:

Niki both confirming and denying that they shared a one-bedroom flat - in his interview with Graham Bensinger in 2017, Bensinger asked Niki what he remembered from sharing a London flat with James. Niki didn't correct him. The flat share was also mentioned in Gerald Donaldson's biography of James, in a section where he had interviewed Niki following James's death. However, in older interviews Niki had said that they didn't formally share a flat, he just stayed in James's place a few times when he had nowhere else to go.

Their sensitive arses - there is a moment in RUSH where Niki diagnoses all the problems in Marlene's car by, as TV Tropes put it, performing a Sherlock Scan with his butt. IRL, Niki always claimed he had a sensitive ass that helped him win races (he was quoted in Grand Prix International magazine on his comeback, saying he was relieved his ass was still sensitive). And he was asked if James had the same sensitive ass, and said yes.

Requesting adjoining hotel rooms in Watkins Glen - after a lot of team infighting, James and Niki had a clear-the-air dinner together in Watkins Glen in 1976 (second last race of the season) and then requested adjoining hotel rooms. Confirmed by Maurice Hamilton, Niki's biographer and long-time friend. (Also in Tom Rubython's book, proving that even a stopped clock is right twice a day).

James's gf saying she didn't like to think what kind of friends they were in 76 - James's then-GF said in a film called One that a) Niki's crash gave him charisma, and b) that towards the end of the 1976 season, they became very good buddies, and that she didn't like to think of the kind of buddies they became. "Playboys together." See 1 hour and 22 minutes into this video.

Niki spontaneously denying in an interview that they had sex in the shared flat - In the same Bensinger interview in 2017, Niki described his memories of sharing a flat with James as "lots of...how you say it politely, intercourse...not with me, I have to say.

No one asked, bab.

Niki greeting Freddie Hunt saying "I loved your father" - this one can make me cry pretty reliably like six days out of 28. Freddie Hunt said it in the same film, One (about 1 hour 29 minutes in).

The "My Dear" Interview - @aston-axo did an amazing job cleaning up the footage of this and it's gorgeous. Playful 70s boys, and Niki's curls are especially lovely in the cleaned-up version.

James mentioning Niki as often as possible in his Autosport columns - the man was relentless. My favourite:

James being allowed to fly Niki's plane once - I'll let James tell this one in his own words.

James saying he wishes they could have shared the title - James said this at least twice that I'm aware of - one before the final race at Fuji, and once after. Especially after the race, James was so respectful and just gave no space for anyone to question Niki's courage.

💙 USA 💙

national suicide prevention

national domestic violence hotline

national sexual abuse hotline

trans lifeline and resources

💙INTERNATIONAL💙

list of suicide hotlines by country

domestic violence hotlines and resources by country

sexual (+ domestic) abuse agencies by country

international trans resources

Mark Webber Lore Masterpost

This is for @percervall who had the good fortune to ask for Mark Lore when I had just finished a massive Fernando Lore post and was itching to balance out my OTP Lore Files.

Disclaimer: I am primarily a webbonso girlie (gn), but I also love Martian (aka Sebmark), Butter (which we are now calling Aussie Cake - Mark/Jenson), and Nicomark, with an occasional dash of Oscarmark though I have Feelings about that (see below on Personal Life).

I was watching F1 for the last five years of Mark's career so his RBR days and personal life are what I know best but even so, I'm not claiming to be an expert so if anyone reads this and disagrees with any of it, please weigh in with your own thoughts! Input most welcome.

CW below for transphobia, ED/eating disorder, and vomiting unrelated to ED

EDITED TO ADD: I CONFIRM THIS POST IS SAFE FROM THE CANBERRA MILK KID ADVERT

Anyway - to the DILF Files!

Racing and Luck

Couple of things on this: Mark is from a town close to Canberra called Queanbeyan that is, according to fans who know Australia, the single most unlikely place in the world to produce an F1 driver. Throughout his book, he constantly comes back to "how can a boy from Queanbeyan get to F1?"

Mark got into racing comparatively late, at 13-ish, and he was tall. Tallness was a huge disadvantage during the era he raced, because of the regulations favouring low weights. Before he got his first F1 test, Bernie Ecclestone dismissed him as "too old, too big." He made his F1 debut at 26 which is *really* late in the modern era. He has said that he "didn't eat for five years" to keep his weight down and that the possibility of weighing more and relaxing his diet was a factor in moving to WEC instead of doing another season in F1.

As @stars-and-meteors wrote in the comments on @percervall's post, Mark was LUCKY in one way (though usually described as an unlucky driver) - he was in at least four major crashes in his career that could have been fatal. Two in Le Mans 1999 (video of his memories here), another flip in Valenica in 2010 which I saw live and nearly puked until I saw his head move. This clip shows the crash but not the aftermath - he threw his steering wheel out to signal that he was OK, and walked away with nothing more than minor bruises, so keep that in mind as you watch because it is dramatic. Then finally, when he was racing for Porsche in WEC after he retired from F1, he crashed hard in Brazil, so badly that his wife (watching at home with her son) assumed he would die. He was injured but ultimately fine.

So how was he unlucky?

Getting to F1 so late, with minimal sponsorship behind him - this was in an era where the driver academy systems we have now weren't as strong and he was outside of the bit of an academy system that there was

One early career bad move - went to Williams instead of Renault for 2005 (Renault won the WDC that year)

Finally got a WDC-winning car when he was 34, with a much younger generational-talent teammate (Sebastian) who was intensely favoured by the team (for pretty valid reasons in many ways) - never had good machinery in what could have been his peak years.

RBR and Seb Rivalry/Martian/Sebmark

The best way I can explain Mark's dynamic with Sebastian is that the Vettel grandstand at his home grand prix costs more to sit in than the Webber grandstand.

Here is a brief thematic overview of Martian I wrote in response to an ask. Please know that they once bought matching Porsches together, and that Mark has referred to their on-track crashes as "making love." They are a shipper's dream.

Because Seb is now such an elder statesman of the sport, a lot of people forget that he wasn't always as popular and well-liked as he (deservedly) is today. One of the many links in this post describes Mark as a "fan favourite" and he really was - he was seen as a chill, down to earth, funny bloke. Seb was also popular, but he was popular with a lot of the same demographic that are big Max fans today and he was a similar figure (though not as controversial). Some people compare Max-Checo to Seb-Mark but Checo has never been as popular as Mark was, and Seb was always less controversial than Max. But not a million miles away either.

Mark used to hold the record for most F1 starts without a win, and when he finally won his first race I think every F1 fan was happy for him. He was definitely seen as a safe pair of hands, journeyman driver, not a standout but not bad either.

Anyway, then Adrian Newey built a great car in 2010.

Mark led much of the 2010 season, but due to some bad luck, bad starts and a shocking last race, he came 3rd in the WDC to Seb and Fernando. It went to the last race. Seb won his first title never having led the standings all season, but he was consistent and had good strategy calls, and also he had the backing of the team. The Front Wing Incident led to a classic moment of Mark Lore. The team had a new front wing, Seb damaged his and was given Mark's. The team will say that Mark hadn't liked the wing, and that Seb was ahead in the standings at the time. Mark maintained Seb was being favoured because young, German, RBR Young Driver Programme, Helmut Marko, etc. Mark won the race. Christian came on the radio to congratulate him and said something like, maybe now you'll crack a smile. Mark replied with "not bad for a number two driver," and Lore was born.

(Apparently there was a team barbecue at Christian's house to try and mend fences, involving karaoke. Mark's karaoke song, according to Seb's remarks on the Australia GP podium some years later, is Summer of 69.)

Anyhoo, Mark lost out at the last race in 2010, Seb dominated all over 2011 (in his book, Mark says that the team behaved in 2011 as though Mark had been a second driver all through 2010 and Seb had led the whole season, when Mark had been closer to the title than Seb), and 2012 (Alonso was amazing that season, so it was great racing and not an easy title for Seb at all, but Mark didn't challenge him).

Then came Multi-21. I think it's fair to say that at the time, most people agreed that Seb had been out of line, although some thought so because he'd fucked over Mark and some because he disobeyed his boss. Either way, Seb was apologetic and then wasn't. It's been suggested since that Seb's lawyer letter to the team may have been sowing seeds for him to break his contract and move to Ferrari - he did activate a break clause in 2014 to move to Ferrari for 2015.

Anyhoo, after Mark's retirement he and Seb mended things, they are clearly on good terms now and Mark had lots of nice things to say when Seb retired. But it was acrimonious at the time.

Broadly, I think most people feel like if a few minor things had gone differently, Mark might have been a one-time WDC, but that he never really had the next-level skill of the likes of Seb, Fernando, Lewis, or even Jens or Nico. He's often ranked alongside Felipe Massa as someone who would have been a deserving champion but never an all-time great.

Webbonso

I've done some Webbonso lore masterposts before, so please see this, this and this if it's something you're into. Mark and Fernando seemed to have a falling out in after 2018 (which we call the Divorce Era, and may be linked to Fernando signing with Alpine for 2021 when Mark wanted a seat for Oscar Piastri, who Mark managed) but the Divorce Era was confirmed ended in 2023, with Mark gushing over his boy again, on screen hugs, and Mark sharing a post on instagram with a little red stiletto heeled shoe emoji imposed on Fernando's tiny foot.

Actual Personal Life

Mark is married to an English woman named Ann Neal, whom he met when he was 17 and she was 30. She became a friend of his family because of her motorsport connections (she worked in motorsport in Australia), then became his manager, and moved him to England without his family when he was 18-19. He lived in a box room in Ann's mum's house, with Ann, her mum and her son (she was recently divorced), and they shared a car. Their relationship apparently turned romantic when he was 20 and she was 33. (This is all from his autobiography). @lightningmickqueen wrote a great summary of this which is worth reading. Basically - problematic AF and it's hard for me not to think of him as a victim though he does seem very happy.

This is also why Oscarmark is never a simple ship for me. I love their dynamic, I like them both as drivers, but because I feel like Mark is a grooming survivor and there is both an age gap and a power imbalance between him and Oscar, I don't think I'll ever write an explicit fic about them. Any I've written before are very much on the yearning side.

No serious allegations of cheating on his partner have ever emerged. He did a series of photoshoots and videos with Maria Sharapova for Porsche and a lot of people joke about their "affair" but nothing at all to suggest its real.

Controversy (esp transphobia) and Views

Well one big controversy is the fact he was groomed as a teenager, but no one in motorsport talks about this, although the fandom is pretty switched on about it all.

But the biggest is the transphobic tweet. I won't link to anyone else's blog here because I have been told that posting about Mark's transphobic tweet can bring out trolls with both pro-trans and anti-trans views (fyi: I do not believe it is possible to be anti-trans, you cannot be anti-people, it is simply not allowed, but I refuse to use the terms that bigoted people invent for themselves and reclaim and weaponise).

In short - Mark retweeted a tweet from a news channel about young trans people reverting to their assigned gender at birth with the caption "Now it's called Detransitioning" and a laughing emoji. (Ugh). Then he doubled down when called out and said it hadn't been meant to be funny, he found it hard to keep up with terminology and he is a "proud heterosexual" with "gay friends of both genders."

And he has never apologised.

Of course, the meme potential of proud heterosexual Mark Webber is endless, but trans fans have asked people not to use it jokingly because it is a reminder of a transphobic incident and can be upsetting to encounter.

Basically, Mark can be Gen X all he wants but he has the brain of a Boomer.

He's generally conservative. A big believer in pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, "common sense", and "old fashioned country values" from his "traditional upbringing." That said, and I'm not suggesting this is a defence for the ways in which he is terrible but it belongs here, it seems these views don't extend much to racism, as he is a big, vocal fan of Lewis Hamilton although doesn't comment much on his activism except to say he is an all-round class act.

Mark was also managed by Flavio Briatore for most of his career and Flavio is dodgy AF and was literally banned for his role in race fixing, so. There was brief talk after Crashgate of suspending the superlicence of any driver who was repped by Flavio. Mark and Fernando were among them and held firm and the threats weren't carried out.

General Unhinged Lore

His almost-WDC in 2010 was achieved with a broken shoulder

He has Questions about Fernando Alonso's leg waxing

He coined the nickname Britney for Nico Rosberg by saying "don't think so mate, Britney's in the wall" when he was told not to enter the pits in favour of Nico before the pit wall realised Nico had crashed

He is ridiculously handsy with other men

Gifs of Mark making an oral sex joke on Ziggo Sport

I have a whole tag of Mark being unhinged - including his "fully expected sec-sex-sections" interview about Seb, the Piping Hot Dickstickers interview, and the buying matching Porsches story.

He is known to be obsessed with red wine, chocolate, tennis and dogs.

He always has two dogs, usually with S names. He's had Shadow (RIP), Simba (RIP), Saxon and...others I don't know. He lived in England for most of his career (unusual) and moved to Monaco when he retired.

When he first won the Monaco Grand Prix, he hadn't packed a tuxedo and had to show up in jeans, a sweater and deck shoes. He says no one minded. this definitely bolstered his 'down to earth guy' image.

He once continued driving while literally being sick in his helmet. (This is GROSS).

His team radio on his first win is legendary.

And finally. YOU MUST hear his scream in commentary at Azerbaijan. It is amazing.

Some James Hunt lore ✨️

Because man needs to be appreciated

Warning, potential nsfw and other triggering topics under the cut

James Hunt brought a v*brator to a Mclaren mechanic asking if he could fix it.

James Hunt supporting black-led groups in South Africa when trying to gain their independence. He didn't want to commentate the South African GP because of what was happening but the BBC forced him to. So he purposely revealed during the race that him and Murry Walker were not actually in South Africa commentating (which was not known to the public at the time). He also donated all the money he got from commentating the South African GP to charities to support the apartheid's even though at the time he was struggling for money

James Hunt learnt to play the trumpet at school and was rather good at it. He got to play at the Royal Albert Hall and everyone was suprised when he played well and got invited back to perform at another show.

At school he made his younger brother a pair of pj trousers and his brother proudly wore them around. James loved his younger siblings dearly.

James studied the female anatomy to understand and help his girlfriend at the time who kept having miscarriages.

Niki had to convince German guards not to arrest James when he tried breaking back into the track after a night out.

James having to convince airport customs to let him bring a playboy magazine through because it had an interview piece with him in.

James would throw up before races and Niki sometimes would piss beside him.

After retiring from F1 James brought a farm however he couldn't kill any of the animals so it fell through. His son, Freddie, now owns a sustainable farm in Scotland.

James loved the game backgammon and made everyone play it with him.

James sent Niki a telegram after his crash trying to motivate him to get better. Niki called James up on his birthday from hospital and they chatted for hours.

James owned a nightclub called 'Oscars' named after his dog.

James Hunt slept with a journalist then got upset when she rated him in a newspaper article.

James seized the PA system from a flight attendant and gave his own version of the welcoming address as they landed. Later on he appeared sitting on luggage riding the carousel.

One day during practise James felt tired and halfway through he pulled the car over and fell asleep. Niki who was sitting out watching James practise panicked when James didn't return and jumped on an ambulance that rushed around to find James, only to find him asleep in his car.

James went to therapy and concluded that he struggled with emotional intimacy with women likely down to the lack of emotional availability in his childhood.

Once, while being interviewed, James pointed to his hotel room and him and the interviewer watched as a woman broke into his hotel room.

James was happy when Suzy left him for Richard Burton as he felt responsible for her even though their relationship had fallen apart.

James was given a toy monkey after winning the championship and carried it everywhere.

He would refuse to wear suits to formal events, preferring to wear jeans and no shoes.

In his early days he tried to enter a mini car he had made with missing doors and a garden chair in the passenger seat.

Once James was stuck in the back of a car in traffic and he needed to go to the toilet. His then girlfriend suggested he piss out the window as the car tried to rush past all the traffic but as it was so cold his c*ck wouldn't work so he was just accidentally flashing everyone as the car rushed by.

After winning the world championship, Britian hosted a 'James Hunt' day. Niki went along to wave a flag for one of the races.

One of the first times James Hunt and Murry Walker worked together, James leg was in a cast, and he sat down and put his leg on Murray's lap which really annoyed Murray. He also drank two bottles of rose wine during that commentary session.

James was utterly dedicated to his dog Oscar to the point that they were inseparable.

James said that what brought him pleasure in the bedroom is the woman feeling pleasure and that he liked a woman who knew what she wanted and told him

He became very depressed and would call the bad days his 'dippers'

He struggled with a lot of addictions but got sober for his sons

The other day on my tiktok I created a simple post about how James Hunt is more than just the Playboy persona that is associated with him. This flew over someone's head who commented about how he was a Playboy. I responded explaining the point of the video but instead they doubled down saying that James didn't care about F1 only about partying.

So today I went through some of my books and gathered a load of quotes to show the James Hunt that most people do not know about, the one outside of the Playboy perception. I've posted it on tiktok but figured I'll upload it here as well so the true James Hunt can reach more people and slowly we can dismantle the reputation 'Rush' gave him ❤️

TW: Depression, unhealthy coping mechanisms/addictions

When you think of James Hunt you think of the 'playboy'. The guy who partied, drank lots, took drugs and slept with lots of women. Its true he did that, and a lot but to dismiss him as just that is wrong. He was a good driver, a person who tried his best, a kind man who cared for human & animal rights.

The next few slides I've compiled quotes from a few books and website to show what kind of person he actually was and what he went through in life and that less people will dismiss him as just a Playboy.

James Hunt's first marriage was rocky because James was already very involved in his addictions and he knew he didn't love Susy because he felt that he wasn't capable of love. But he felt responsible for her and wanted to look after her. Here is his own opinion from his book ->

"It was really THE problem. I thought that marriage was what I wanted and needed to give me a nice stable and quiet home life, but in fact it wasn't and the key mistake was mine. I really wanted to go racing on my own, and it wasn't much fun for Susy to sit at home and wait for me all that time. It was also a terrible hassle for her to come racing because race meetings were probably the most relaxing time in my schedule. The rest of the time you tend to be leaping on aeroplanes once a day and that made it even worse because it's bad enough organizing one person to get on an aeroplane. Organizing two gets to be twice as much hassle. It got to the point where it was a problem for Susy to come travelling and a hell of a deal for her to stay at home. It was making life miserable in the extreme for her and since I felt responsible for her it was making me miserable too. So we had agreed to split up and then Richard Burton came along and solved all the problems. We had had an immensely successful marriage because I learnt an awful lot about myself and life and I think Susy did too. We all ended up happy, anyway, which is more than can be said for a lot of marriages" - p14 Against All Odds

Much is said about James Hunt and the ladies he kept company, and without knowing anything about James you might assume the worst, but here's some quotes about what he was actually like with the ladies ->

"I don't usually have sex before a race because I am very definitely concentrating -I find that it is the communication between two people that makes it worth- while, and before a race I am pretty uncommunicative. However, if say I have an hour or so to spare before dinner on the night before a race then I can enjoy the physical release. But I will only do it with someone who is fully understanding" - p15 Against All Odds

"He was always attentive to his partners needs. Indeed much of his satisfaction came from giving pleasure. The only problem, some of them confessed, was that his desire to please often out-stripped their needs" - p264 James Hunt: The Biography

"I was sure he was gay, because he never made a move on me for so long" - p278 Jane Birbeck, long time partner, James Hunt: The Biography

"He missed the actual skirmish - he was inside getting drinks at the bar - but had to be forcibly restrained from going after the policeman who hit his girlfriend" - p284 James Hunt: The Biography

James Hunt had many affairs in his time, because he had become an addict to many things including women (more on this later) He was aware of his and it plagued James that he couldn't control it ->

"One evening she returned to their London home to find James in tears. He was tormented by feelings of guilt caused by his lust for other women. He confessed the full extent of his unfaithfulness, that it was unfair to her and that for her sake they couldn't remain a couple. It wasn't that he was bored with her, but that his desire for other women was insatiable and uncontrollable. He held Jane in his arms and they both wept" - p320

One thing that helped James in his life time was his love for animals especially his pet dog Oscar. Here are some quotes about his love for animals and how far he would go to help protect them ->

"I think in a way Oscar was the child James never had at that stage. He was a remarkable dog, no question, but James thought a lot about animals and their requirements and was very concerned about their needs. He gave Oscar the very best treatment and also was keenly intrested in the welfare of other dogs. He would look at a dog, wonder if it's owner was treating it well and bringing it up properly and if the dog was getting everything out of life that it could" - p281

"Before he came to know James better, the journalist Nigel Roebuck was pleasantly surprised by an incident involvinged stray dog. It was late in the evening after a Grand Prix and tha teams were packing up to leave when James, while talking to Roebuck, saw the dog wandering around the paddock, shiver-ing and obviously very hungry. Roebuck, also sensitive to the needs of an animal in distress, went with James to several of the team motorhomes where they got food and fed the dog. But that wasn't the end of it as far as James was concerned. He insisted that they should take the dog up to the race control centre.

Roebuck: 'He took the dog in there and would not leave until he was sure it would be looked after. James actually made this official sign a piece of paper saying he would take care of the dog and see that it was housed and properly cared for. I was very impressed with this. James was probably one of only a handful of people on this entire planet who would even give that sort of thing a second thought." - p281

"He also thought the wild animals residing on his estate should be left alone. If vermin had to be controlled it should be done in the most humane way possible, and he strongly dissaproved of blood sports. The very thought of fox hunting he found horrible and he vowed not to allow it on his property" - p308

James was also incredibly caring towards the young people in his life such as his sons and his younger siblings. Here’s an extract from his first GF about James and his siblings ->

".. the way he expressed his concern for the emotional youngest members of his family:

He really enjoyed looking after them, and just seeing the way the behaved with his little brothers and sisters you knew was instinctive in him. He was always going to be a good father.

One evening he invited her home where he was babysitting Jo Jo, Dave and Tim. When James had tucked them in he left Ping to read them a bedtime story. When Ping came downstairs James asked her if she had helped them say their prayers. When I said no, James said: "Right. You've missed out hugely there. Come on, we'd better go and do it." So they did. His attitude was that he was taught to do that by his parents and it simply had to be done.'

But he also practised what he preached, and he believed in the power of prayer. In the troubled years to come James would pray to God for strength and help, and he eventually passed on the bedtime prayer ritual to his own two boys, to whom he became completely devoted.

During his time with Ping he had talked about having children, and she thinks fatherhood earlier in his life would have prevented James from sinking into his period of decadence.

I felt so sorry for him then because I knew underneath it wasn't the real James doing this. I think he was trying to make life happy, the wrong way. If he had settled down earlier, had a more normal home life with children of his own when he was younger, one could have seen a totally different James.' - p26

James Hunt cared for human rights especially taking a stand against the Apartheids in South Africa. The Apartheids in short was a system of racial segregation. In protest most sports were not going to South Africa but Formula One still was, and James Hunt made it clear his thoughts

->

“We were once covering the South African Grand Prix during the days of apartheid. All of a sudden, and for no particular reason, he launched into an attack on apartheid.

“It was nothing to do with the Grand Prix, nor would it do British-South African relations any good. Our producer pushed a piece of paper across saying: ‘Talk about the race!’

“And then James blurted out on air: ‘Thank God we’re not actually there!”

But simply calling out Apartheid on the air wasn’t enough for Hunt. He sought to have his race commentaries blocked from being broadcast in South Africa, but was unsuccessful.

When that didn’t work, he instead — and secretly — gave financial support from his income as a race broadcaster to groups struggling to end Apartheid in South Africa."

"His deeply compassionate and loving nature was something that, unfortunately, wasn't adequately conveyed to the public, who only ever heard about the sensational side of James Hunt" - p282 John Watson

As mentioned earlier James Hunt was an addict. His playboy lifestyle was his addictions and this is all rooted back to the fact that James Hunt had depression which grew stronger and stronger. He relied on his additions to get rid of his depression which meant he kept doing more and more. Here are some quotes about his struggle with it and eventually how he overcame it ->

"At home James became increasingly introverted, uncommunicative and reclusive. He gave up golf and spent more and more of his time in the aviary tending his budgies. While the parties continued he would often leave the guests to Sarah and closet himself in the aviary for hours on end.

It became obvious that James was very troubled, but only Sarah and his closest friends knew the full extent of the anguish and despair James suffered during his bouts with what he called his 'dippers'.

Black dog' was the term Winston Churchill used for the recurring 'depressions which afflicted him throughout his life. Bubbles Horsley thinks James was 'born with a "black dog" on his shoulder. His racing pushed the "dog" away far enough so that it was no longer visible. But underneath that wonderful joie de vivre, the laughter and enjoying life, he was given to black moods. He was fearful of them and maybe it was that fear that drove him on. Perhaps without it he would never have been World Champion.

'And I think after the initial "honeymoon" of retirement from racing the black dog came and sat on his shoulder and wouldnt go away. So he became more fearful and sought distraction in various ways, through sex and drink and drugs and rock and roll, as it were." - p323

"At home Sarah watched her husband's condition worsen and desperately sought to help him. She thought his depressiond might partly be due to a chemical imbalance that James was born with, a theory that James explored himself. Then, too, to keep his dippers at bay he consumed too much alcohol and marijuana, both of which can temporarily bring relief but over the long term on have depressive effects.

Like others, Sarah felt that another reason for his 'dippers' might have been because he cut off his emotions early in his life and never learned how to open up to people, or to need them. He was essentially a lonely man and his inability to form close relationships made him despair. His depressions further deadened his feelings, and when he was unable to respond emotionally to marriage and children he grew progressively more despondent.

Sarah: 'He was at war with himself. His depressions became Intolerable and towards the end he stopped trying to fight them coming on because he knew they would take over for two days or week. His face would go black and he would take to his bed and stay there, even on Christmas Day. He'd gone to bed two days beforehand and we had Christmas stockings for the boys. I said, Come on, Beast, the boys are waiting." And he said, "Beast, i can't do it." And he was crying" - p333

"When James felt a "dipper" coming on he would go on two- or three-day benders, mostly drinking vodka. He would just keep going and going, which was always a bit terrifying, and after these deep, dark blank days he would suffer real self-loathing. He could forget his trouble with drink, but it always came back.

For many years trying to get rid of his depression was his major concern, which is why he got the budgerigars. He thought it would be such a huge amount of effort that it would distract him and they became an obsession rather than a hobby. He would sit in the aviary for hours, but he would come back still in the grip of gloom. And for a long time he was so down it was very hard to even converse with him." - p326

"He tried different treatments acupuncture, Chinese herbal medicine and looked into every possible theory. He went to different healers, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, psychoanalysts, the lot, to try and find the root of his depression. And in the end he cracked it" - p337

"He began to become more diet-conscious and to eat healthy foods. He also consumed information, in books and magazines, on overcoming addictions, and sought more professional help.

He knew he should stop smoking cigarettes and reduce his marijuana consumption, and he told some friends he thought he might be an alcoholic. He worried that his need for women was another form of addiction and feared he might contract AIDS and infect someone else.

John Hogan: 'So he stopped it all. Straightened himself out by absolute willpower. The strength of character of the man enabled him to get out of it. He cut out the cigarettes, the dope and drugs. the booze and the womanising and his sense of priorities became more well-balanced.' - p338

As he started healing himself of his addictions he became serious about F1 again. He always cared for the sport, doing everything he could to race when he was younger and now though he was retired he still commentated and took part in other ways to stay close to the sport ->

"James became serious about strengthening his position in the media side of Formula 1 racing. He took on an internationally syndicated newspaper column and spent many hours gathering information for it. Working with a journalist he applied himself conscientiously to making sure that every word was written to his satisfaction" - p338

James started to heal his relationships as well, becoming an amazing parent to his two boys and finally meeting a woman who helped him feel loved and be able to love after so long of not being able to ->

"The boys were real handfuls to look after but he was awfully good with them and he really fathered and mothered them extremely well. He was always up early in the morning cooking their breakfast and then the four of us would go off salmon fishing. James would fish properly and I would fool around fishing with the youngsters. And then in the evening we used to settle down and he would tell them stories." - p343

A letter James sent to his girlfriend Helen:

"I went to the parents' 50th in a totally negative frame of mind, feeling very much an outsider and wanting the floor to swallow me up. As the day went on, although I remained 'out- side', I could see and feel lots of generous, undemanding love around me. Something changed for me there with my family. Everyone was exuding love and I saw the wonder of it and want to be part of it, but firstly with you.

I realise now that the feeling of not being loved as a child made me close up to any incoming love projected onto me. I do see that I cannot live on without love. You brought it home to me when you pointed out how well I'm doing with the boys. Well I have had to work at that and I've got better at it and I have to do it with you. You are the girl of my dreams. Without you I have no future. I want to make you happy and continue to do so until I die.

All my love for the love of my life,

James"

- p350

Finally James was happy. He was healed from his addictions, in a healthy relationship, had two lovely sons and a job he loved. And best of all he was able to be open with Helen ->

"James confessed to Helen that he was unable to be faithful to anyone in the past because sex was for him just another addiction and he needed women to get his highs. He disliked social gatherings and only had parties or went to them to pick up women. Helen was willing to forgive and forget what went on before, but told him she wouldn't tolerate it in their relationship and he agreed to be faithful to her." - p350

Helen went away on a girls holiday before her and James were going to start trying for children. James proposed to her over the phone on the holiday to which she said yes. But she would never see her finance because he passed away from a heart attack. Unfortunately the previous life he lead caught up to him.

Thank you for reading all of this and I hope you now know more about James Hunt than you already did! It's sad that James is best known now for his unhealthy coping mechanisms for his depression, especially with the film 'Rush' romanticising it. But even if just one person reads all of this it means one more person knows the truth of James Hunt and that makes it worth it ❤️

brocedes edit with a noah kahan song cause they own the sad and angsty ™ 😀

I personally would have bought George 1.5kg of Belgian Chocolate for Secret Santa, with a note "Dear George, took this out of your car in Spa. Don't think it was important??" for that perfect balance of utter savagery and actual nice gift...

something to keep in mind as we’re revisiting the story of jesus‘ birth during this time of the year! nazareth is occupied! jesus was a refugee! free palestine!

my commissions are open & you can find my art on redbubble!

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der patriarch x the downfall of red bull

can‘t believe that I completely forgot to post this?? apparently I only put it up on my instagram 💀

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im going to hurl myself into the void

Leon Anawak is SO autistic. im not even joking anymore. this man is stimming on camera he has trouble w social interactions he can’t maintain eye contact for the love of god (except for some scenes but ig it was necessary for some reason) his special interest is whales which he doesn’t hesitate to compare to humans while rambling about them to someone he barely knows ("they won’t hesitate to go look for an individual whose sound they only heard once from hundreds of miles away!!!!" WE SEE YOU LEON)

also like. he’s very blunt and has a strong sense of justice etc etc this man is SOOOO autistic and you can just see it in social gatherings my man stands out!!!! he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s supposed to be doing!!!! you can just see the autistic panic in his eyes!!!! im in love with him

heres a treat for the one (1) other swarm fan out there

yall help me out, do you remember the ardyn broken (and never properly healed) leg essay posted on some google drive a couple of years ago RIGHT?? RIGHT???????

i cant find it anywhere, if you have it or happen to be the original creator pls interact with me or smth!!

like to charge reblog to cast