When I write as fast as I post them in the now what I see gorgeous stream of crazy conscious thought with subconscious neurons firing at F1 racing speed, cuz I guess I do need to drive to survive. You need a drive to survive because you know you don't have one. And that's pretty fucking sad guys. But not as sad as I feel right now for what you did to us.
I am sitting outside and writing. Finally. Is it a sitting outside and smoking my lungs out and during myself to jump?.
Sorry that was out of your depth. Can't imagine how difficult this new version of me must be
I truly hope you don't read any of this because I am speaking in anger, though it is currently my truth and exactly how I feel because like I said, it's all streams of thought that happened very fast. The fact that people can keep up with my messages when I'm voice typing them and they're reading them whenever they can, goes to show that not everyone communicates the same way. We need to be more understanding when people feel like they've discovered better ways of feeling like themselves in the world instead of hiding themselves to pretend like they're like every fucking person. The autistic kids always taught me more than I could have ever taught them, because I could never speak as quickly as they could in the little subtle movements and layers of behaviors that we fought every day to understand and supposedly fix so they could fit into.
I always saw the beauty in them like a lot of other people didn't. I always always one of the people who stayed late and came early. Not because I was getting paid for it because I damn sure wasn't. Even though it was a good work and work for every fucking supervisor and that company for 5 years and then never managed even get above them even though I could have done at least a few of their jobs better if not least not as bad. Or as bad. Whichever one is not as painful for you because I'm not trying to be mean, this is just how I feel at this moment. And then my change the next moment.
Is why a babble, because I know when I say something wrong and I can edit and change myself immediately. So my fault you have to type it out and then read it over 500 times to cash the edits. I make 500 times in a millisecond as the words tumble out of my mouth like diarrhea.
But this one I'm proud of. All poop is valid.
I always thought I wanted to be the energizer bunny
Because I forgot I could always bigly outdick energy all over my "haterz" lol.
Just didn't think I'd have to use that horrible joke on you. But I guess you inspired it. So jokes on me. Just like you are. But I'm washing you off silently in my own stream away from this horrible city that you love more than me.
And now I won't feel crazy telling that to people because they'll just keep her reminding me of all the things you've bought me and all the things you've helped me do, because that's true. But it's also true that I was not for the last 5 years even though I thought I was the happiest and I was in a way because I was closest to my happiness than I'd been in a long time.
Just like you were to this but I never let you push my button
Because even though I hated the world, there were too many people and things in it even though I hate people and prefer animals. As we all know, I just have to make sure everyone knows again because that has never changed and never will sorry because people suck please read previous posts for contacts because I'm done giving it without people asking. Because they're going to think what they think. Anyways, and I'll never be able to cover every atom of my thought. Because every time I try people call me manic which is so funny to me because it makes them feel so small to me. I love it.
In the best part is I can't even help myself
But you push the button first. You've been created it. I just didn't see what you were doing behind my back. Because I trusted you so much, I gave you my fleshiest bits. Like cats. That's why they're the best. Because you can actually trust them. Because you can't trust them. And we both know that. At least now you do too.
And I will have to be my own:
Everything
Everywhere
All at once
But this time, I'm ready to fight 🖤
You've always played easy
And I've always been stuck on hard mode
I praised you so you would play with me
But you never wanted to #literally
Figuratively
Too literally
Filled my pockets and wallet
Drain my laughs and made me think who you really are
Was my savioir
More like sanguine
I'm drained babe. Wish you well. Sorry you forgot this fun fact about me.
I may not be a doctor or have as many letters as my doctor or YOU
But men oh men
You both done diddly squat in it now on your own volition
Teabagging your own shit pretending like you shot me
I was always a better sniper/mage-type
You always chose different types
I played to my strength
"You're not supposed to play as yourself in games, you're supposed to play as who you wanna be cos it's your wonderland."
Guess what motherfucker,
I guess I want to be myself because I'm on my own fucking hero, the fantasy wasn't the person, the fantasy was all the stuff I could make and do in the game because I always knew the fastest and best and quickest way to get to the top, kill the bosses in a few hits and then start playing all over again and hard mode immediately.
That's me.
Right now I've seen the true you, and I wish it wasn't so. But I had to give up eggs for a reason, and Thank God I finally thought I could do it and follow through. And took accountability. Without trying to be too obnoxious of a vegan because I wasn't perfect but trying to be perfect because my vegan friend meant so much to me.
Nothing meant anything to you, Burr.
Your only consistent principle (The thing that you kept getting between us, I'm not going to say letting because if I didn't want it there it would not be there, I didn't because I cared about you and you couldn't communicate like me. But I still wanted to try talking language even though you were drifting apart for so long bracket). Thing was this whole time. I thought you were the one holding me up .
Just like I looked at the abyss wrong - upside down - and darker than I remember because I've been there so many times before.
(maybe because of you?)
I don't want to believe it.
Because you're a good man
You just continued this long enough to see yourself become my villain.
I told you the ball is in your court
You were standing up for yourself to the side facing away and hoping that people would sorted out themselves because you didn't want to deal with it. Because you didn't want to cuz you were too busy and important trying to run the world, but because
01000010 01100101 01100011 01100001 01110101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100001 01101100 01110111 01100001 01111001 01110011 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101100 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01101110 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110011 01100001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01100001 01100111 01100001 01101001 01101110 00101110
https://www.convertbinary.com
Finally am 🌙🖤🌚🌝
Wahoo! Happy to be here.
Those other guys are nuts or have nuts, I forget.
Either way, oooooOoo spooky.
You always did know when to fold.
Read: he, himself.
I was gonna write more but Labrinth rips too hard so now I just wanna 🌬️ and bop.
Because I can't stop sweating funny thoughts
I just didn't know how much practice I got being sad for 20 years straight... No wonder I find myself funny you fuckin loser
You had no one else to compare to do it's not technically your fault.
But hey look on the bright side! You ended up on
her consciousness consciously (daaaayyum!) you don't get it because it's not for you 🌚🌝 maybe yet, maybe never #ilovemyselftoday #notlikeyesterday #butevery1swelcome, FATE: Unfiltered and unedited like VPR Reunions on Peacock #you know what you signed up for "no bullies allowed"
74 posts