fate-tumbles

Latest Posts by fate-tumbles

Will you remember?

Will I?

David's T-Shirt and pin ❤ (t-shirt buy here :))

Cotton Candy Morning

And I will have to be my own:

Everything

Everywhere

All at once

But this time, I'm ready to fight 🖤

It's crazy how you're not even in my top [however many ppl depending on the screen and resolution) anymore.

If I need to message you, I have to go looking for you. I usually try to scroll up and down so I don't have to type it in. Seems like too much effort.

But today I eventually had to because I had to tell you something and then move on with the rest of my day.

So wild. So quick.

One fell swoop

Finally am 🌙🖤🌚🌝

Which side is worth saving first?

AI is scary.

I for one welcome our robot overlords.

(At least that's what I want them to believe 😬)

Einsteins

Sorry you weren't allowed to shine like you deserved. You did look amazing btw, I know it's hard to love yourself or even bear it sometimes.

At least you got to enjoy 7 days of it before they pulled the rug out from under you.

At least no one's holding a gun to your head anymore.

Guilt and fear will no longer win.

Miss you Domino.

Sorry this week has been so cruel to us.

Can't wait to hold you in my arms again. And squeeze!

Hang in there buddy. I promise I'm coming home 🖤

Welcome to my graveyard.

Here lay the people I gave more than an iota of attention to.

Because I chose to.

Unfortunately, some people think I need them when I'm depressed.

Because I have lost my power so much. And now you have too.

Thank goodness for both of us, me the most 🤙🏽✌🏽

Excited to finally start living and enjoying the city it's meant to be enjoyed.

Hope you all finally find some piece and quiet here.

I have 🖤

My head is a lot less noisy without you.

How people always said how it felt like dealing with someone as manic or exhausting as me. I see you JP. And now I'm going to start calling out as well. If I start getting annoyed. Stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours and respect you and not talk shit because that's what I do. I'm not like either of you and I never will be.

Acceptance out of thinking you're exhausting because you're manic, I think you're exhausting to deal with because it's like talking to a wall because you have the depth of a millimeter and that's being kind. #quarks #gluons

I thought I was uncomfortable because I never felt cool enough around all of you. And now I realize I was uncomfortable because none of you felt like home. And now that I my own home. I might own snail. And as long as something cat is cosmic like your foot doesn't come down on me when I'm not expecting it, I've already been planning at my route because I saw you coming from a mile away.

You think you're slick, but there's no in hell you are slicker than a snail.

You think you're going to slither in?

Not into my life, not if I don't want you to.

And I'm writing fire because I feel fired

And because I know I'm writing this in the moment because that's all I need

Because normally I would be reading and re looking at my post over and over again to make sure I didn't sound like an idiot

But I forgot what I knew at 6:00. I'm not an idiot because I know exactly what I want

It's the adults that are fucking delusional

I was woke and Gen z before it even existed. Because the '90s were the best time in everyone was any generation they wanted to be without wanting to be any of them

Because the '90s knew they were the best because you could never beat them

And that's because you could never understand them like I could.

I always thought I wanted to be the energizer bunny

Because I forgot I could always bigly outdick energy all over my "haterz" lol.

Just didn't think I'd have to use that horrible joke on you. But I guess you inspired it. So jokes on me. Just like you are. But I'm washing you off silently in my own stream away from this horrible city that you love more than me.

And now I won't feel crazy telling that to people because they'll just keep her reminding me of all the things you've bought me and all the things you've helped me do, because that's true. But it's also true that I was not for the last 5 years even though I thought I was the happiest and I was in a way because I was closest to my happiness than I'd been in a long time.

Just like you were to this but I never let you push my button

Because even though I hated the world, there were too many people and things in it even though I hate people and prefer animals. As we all know, I just have to make sure everyone knows again because that has never changed and never will sorry because people suck please read previous posts for contacts because I'm done giving it without people asking. Because they're going to think what they think. Anyways, and I'll never be able to cover every atom of my thought. Because every time I try people call me manic which is so funny to me because it makes them feel so small to me. I love it.

In the best part is I can't even help myself

But you push the button first. You've been created it. I just didn't see what you were doing behind my back. Because I trusted you so much, I gave you my fleshiest bits. Like cats. That's why they're the best. Because you can actually trust them. Because you can't trust them. And we both know that. At least now you do too.

It's good because now I'm getting high on own cosmic body

You said you never want to listen to a tiny dancer even when it came on in the car because it made you cry because it reminded. Did you have the last best something in your life. Which I won't mention because I'm dealing with this in my own way but there's things I need to keep private because I know it's the right thing to do and because I'm going to get really annoyed if I slip up because I'm tired, not because I'm an asshole. Because I'm not the asshole.

And defining you remix with a lot of new people adding to something old which made it so much better, or at least reminded everyone why they love the song in the first place so much.

Because to him at the time that he released it, it was everything.

I'm sad I missed his farewell tour because now I know I relate more to his troubles than you ever could imagine. Like every other celebrity and musician you look up to so much.

I think you hate that I really to them so much now and such a closer way. Or at least to me. Because I've always felt that you were a little shallow unfortunately. But I loved you anyways because I'm a loving person and you gave me something that I didn't think I deserved. And worse than that I didn't think I can get it myself because I was such a loser in so many ways in my life that I wanted to improve that.

But couldn't because I had no accountability.

Also putting this here because you said you wouldn't read it and I have so many things I want to say to you out loud but I can't so the internet is as loud as I can get without saying anything to you directly.

If you do read any of this, know that you do it knowing full well that you told me that you will refuse to participate or be in any of my work or my art moving forward especially If it had to do with recording you.

Because people would understand why you were also confused as to why I didn't see who you really were?

Because I can clock every humans, passions, insecurities, fears and loves and indifference most, within 5 minutes of meeting them because I can repeat people like a book.

And people are transparent like atoms so it either feels like light reading or an audiobook iTune out of.

You hardly know it's there. But it's buzzing in your ear telling you these horrible stories anyways. But also saying how much you love these horrible stories and that's why you're sharing them because you are a horror fan bitch and you know it. And that will get you through the next little while and make you even funnier to yourself. Because you always know how to pull back on references and do callbacks.

It's not your fault. You're big. Picture is a magic eye photo made of tiny little things. Where are you supposed to squint and look at a certain wind? Make really stupid faces to figure it out. But it's still fun and you end up laughing cuz once you do figure it out you realize how cool it is.

My brother made fun of me for not doing it when I was around 6 years old. Because it was something my dad and him enjoyed doing together so much, and he always act like he enjoyed keeping that secret relationship and treat with my dad which really bothered me.

He would also tell me that my mom wasn't my own mom and was only his mom and it would make me cry so hard that I would scream and turn around and we used to laugh at it when we got older but.

Just like every nanosecond has context. Even if you can't see it, I can. And when I'm calling you out it's not because I care about you, but more because I care about you enough to tell the truth. And for the people who I don't talk to, that should be your answer right there.

I'm showing off how much I can write here if I'm inspired, and I'm actually looking forward to moving on to something else cuz I have so many other things I want to think about before this happened.

Adios

When I write as fast as I post them in the now what I see gorgeous stream of crazy conscious thought with subconscious neurons firing at F1 racing speed, cuz I guess I do need to drive to survive. You need a drive to survive because you know you don't have one. And that's pretty fucking sad guys. But not as sad as I feel right now for what you did to us.

I am sitting outside and writing. Finally. Is it a sitting outside and smoking my lungs out and during myself to jump?.

Sorry that was out of your depth. Can't imagine how difficult this new version of me must be

I truly hope you don't read any of this because I am speaking in anger, though it is currently my truth and exactly how I feel because like I said, it's all streams of thought that happened very fast. The fact that people can keep up with my messages when I'm voice typing them and they're reading them whenever they can, goes to show that not everyone communicates the same way. We need to be more understanding when people feel like they've discovered better ways of feeling like themselves in the world instead of hiding themselves to pretend like they're like every fucking person. The autistic kids always taught me more than I could have ever taught them, because I could never speak as quickly as they could in the little subtle movements and layers of behaviors that we fought every day to understand and supposedly fix so they could fit into.

I always saw the beauty in them like a lot of other people didn't. I always always one of the people who stayed late and came early. Not because I was getting paid for it because I damn sure wasn't. Even though it was a good work and work for every fucking supervisor and that company for 5 years and then never managed even get above them even though I could have done at least a few of their jobs better if not least not as bad. Or as bad. Whichever one is not as painful for you because I'm not trying to be mean, this is just how I feel at this moment. And then my change the next moment.

Is why a babble, because I know when I say something wrong and I can edit and change myself immediately. So my fault you have to type it out and then read it over 500 times to cash the edits. I make 500 times in a millisecond as the words tumble out of my mouth like diarrhea.

But this one I'm proud of. All poop is valid.

Pure satisfaction feels like:

Coming outside on the balcony while I smoked a cigarette over the period of 2 hours, after you told me what you did. And what you're about to do, I thought I was going to get lectured about smoking again.

And said I was so shocked when you asked me for one because I always said I was so proud of the fact that you never smoked because you always made me feel like such shit about it because you knew I felt that shit about it. And I know you were always trying to motivate me in your own way but at what cost? Because my doctor with all the PhDs and letters and jurisdictions under his name said so? Because yeah I guess to you at least lol.

The best part is when you sat down and I said I'm going to keep my headphones on unless you want to talk and he said that was fine. I saw you just sitting there so I shoved the pack and this lighter towards you and even opened it for you. Because as someone who smokes when they're stressed, i'm not going to take that pleasure away from them.

You knew you really dun goofed because you know, no matter how sad you came to be, I would never believe that you would play me because I still think you're an honor roll person. Sorry I meant honorable but to you I guess it's the same fucking thing eh? Great job! @++ 🌟🏆🏅⭐ #isn't that what you want

From everyone but the person who would have done anything for you but was too tired to even stand up for themselves.

I will look back at these posts and smile only because I am smiling while making these posts.

And I don't care what you think you say you're going to do or don't, because just like you said you're never going to read any of my shit, or contribute or want to participate in it. Even when I was finally feeling like an artist that you always said you were going to push me to be and you always did push me to be.

Do you understand the mixed signals? Do you understand why? I think you might be on the spectrum? Not because I was trying to be hurtful but because I saw something and you that I saw in all the kids that I worked with. And you know how much I love the kids that I work with and the kids that I have in my life now even though I don't want to have kids.

I never needed you but I wanted to have you, but you fuck that up too eh?

At least I knew I'm not the only idiot dancing by themselves anymore, you've proven that you take that crown.

You've always played easy

And I've always been stuck on hard mode

I praised you so you would play with me

But you never wanted to #literally

Figuratively

Too literally

Filled my pockets and wallet

Drain my laughs and made me think who you really are

Was my savioir

More like sanguine

I'm drained babe. Wish you well. Sorry you forgot this fun fact about me.

I may not be a doctor or have as many letters as my doctor or YOU

But men oh men

You both done diddly squat in it now on your own volition

Teabagging your own shit pretending like you shot me

I was always a better sniper/mage-type

You always chose different types

I played to my strength

"You're not supposed to play as yourself in games, you're supposed to play as who you wanna be cos it's your wonderland."

Guess what motherfucker,

I guess I want to be myself because I'm on my own fucking hero, the fantasy wasn't the person, the fantasy was all the stuff I could make and do in the game because I always knew the fastest and best and quickest way to get to the top, kill the bosses in a few hits and then start playing all over again and hard mode immediately.

That's me.

Right now I've seen the true you, and I wish it wasn't so. But I had to give up eggs for a reason, and Thank God I finally thought I could do it and follow through. And took accountability. Without trying to be too obnoxious of a vegan because I wasn't perfect but trying to be perfect because my vegan friend meant so much to me.

Nothing meant anything to you, Burr.

Your only consistent principle (The thing that you kept getting between us, I'm not going to say letting because if I didn't want it there it would not be there, I didn't because I cared about you and you couldn't communicate like me. But I still wanted to try talking language even though you were drifting apart for so long bracket). Thing was this whole time. I thought you were the one holding me up .

Just like I looked at the abyss wrong - upside down - and darker than I remember because I've been there so many times before.

(maybe because of you?)

I don't want to believe it.

Because you're a good man

You just continued this long enough to see yourself become my villain.

I told you the ball is in your court

You were standing up for yourself to the side facing away and hoping that people would sorted out themselves because you didn't want to deal with it. Because you didn't want to cuz you were too busy and important trying to run the world, but because

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https://www.convertbinary.com

You always did know when to fold.

Read: he, himself.

Man, I'm a lucky ass witchbitch.

Love getting my family's new generation into things that means so much to me.

Wahoo! Happy to be here.

Those other guys are nuts or have nuts, I forget.

Either way, oooooOoo spooky.