cracking-marble

Latest Posts by cracking-marble

I find it fascinating that people who choose not to have children are generally assumed to feel really strongly about not having children (or even to feel really strongly against children, anyone’s children, in general). I am probably not going to have children, not because I REALLY REALLY HATE the idea of having children, but because I don’t really really love it. Out of all the major decisions I will make in my life, this one is the only irreversible one. I can sell a house, quit a job, divorce a spouse, whatever. I cannot unhave a child. I cannot opt out of being a parent once I become a parent. I can’t even take a step back for the sake of self-care or whatever, or else my child will suffer.

So for me, having children is fuck yes or not at all. The default will be to remain childfree. Having children should be an opt-in decision, not an opt-out one. Until/unless I develop really strong feelings about wanting to have children, I won’t have them, even if that means I never end up having them at all.

What do you mean Wednesday asked Xavier to the Rave'N thinking "If this was my chance to get up close and personal with a potential serial killer, how could I refuse?" and Tyler turns out to be the said serial killer at the end?

What do you mean Wednesday was being all defensive saying "I was forced to ask someone as an act of self-preservation" because she's thinking of how Tyler would feel about her going with Xavier? (that hesitant pause as well before saying 'Xavier')

What do you mean Wednesday didn't deny Tyler's assumptions when he said "I thought we liked each other" and only said "I'm just dealing with a lot right now"?

What do you mean Tyler smiled WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING when he thought Wednesday asked him to the Rave'N?

What do you mean Wednesday immediately went straight to her wardrobe looking for a dress when she saw Tyler waiting for her as her date? Why didn't she just straightforwardly tell him she wasn't going because let's be real, since when did this girl think twice of hurting other people's feelings (except Enid's) but she abandoned her mystery-investigation-trip with Eugene to go to the "stupid dance" with Tyler?

What do you mean Xavier told Wednesday about what Tyler did to him, and she told Tyler 'she would've taken it further' AND THEN danced with Tyler?

What do you mean Tyler didn't need to KISS Wednesday during their date at the crypt because how could THAT help Laurel? but he initiated a kiss and Wednesday-I-would-never-fall-in-love-Addams freaking leaned in?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN??? I DON'T UNDERSTAND??

I just. Love this. Kudos to you.

I think what pisses me off most about the Wednesday fandom is that so many are intentionally ignoring the fact that Tyler is MEANT to be a tragic character because he is a Hyde. We basically have it beaten over our heads that Hydes are the outcasts of outcasts, deemed too difficult to help, and therefore abandoned and left to their own devices, basically giving them no way to NOT be tortured into being someone’s slave or ultimately having something tragic or awful happen to them that forces out their Hyde and leaving them to become a monster and/or get killed.

So many people blame Tyler for every bad thing that happened in this first season when he LITERALLY had no option but to do exactly as Laurel wished. He was TOLD to go murder the people he murdered, he was TOLD to get Wednesday to trust him, he was TOLD to go after Eugene, he had no CHOICE but to obey, it’s literally in the show’s lore. And we are both told AND shown what lengths Laurel went to to literally torture this teenage boy into becoming a monster that was FORCED to obey her. Not only that, but all that “mama” talk and physical touch is gag-worthy. SHE is the true monster who wanted everyone dead, and she ruined that boy’s life to try and get what she wanted. And the show INTENTIONALLY shows AND tells you all that.

We are SHOWN how Tyler was chained, beaten, poisoned to bring the Hyde out, to become Laurel’s perfect slave. And still so many see HIM as the “true villain,” stating that if he was truly “good” he never would’ve done all he did. Meanwhile the lore has TOLD you, Hydes have no choice. But WAY too many disregard this plot point entirely simply because they see it as something to cling to for their preferred ship to happen. That’s infuriating to me, truly. Not only from a standpoint of really loving Tyler as a character, but also from a standpoint of it being apparent to ME of where the story is going, and knowing that so much of the fandom is gonna be pissed off about it because it’s Tyler-centric.

We are given so much information about “Hydes have been banned from Nevermore for 30 years,” “Faulkner was studying Hydes but he died before he could finish his research,” “nobody knows for sure if, once unlocked, Hydes are only monsters or if the person they were is still in there.” Between all this within the narrative itself and Hunter talking about how he’s excited to explore the duality of the Real Tyler versus the Hyde next season, I think it’s obvious that Wednesday and Tyler are basically going to get to the bottom of this “are Hydes all 100% bad and dangerous” problem themselves, and the result of their research will probably get Hydes accepted back into Nevermore.

Wednesday already knows how unjust the whole system is, she mentions it FREQUENTLY in the first season. Once she gets past feeling betrayed by what happened in season one, it’s likely going to weigh on her that someone she cared about deeply enough to bring her walls down for, to actually seek out to KISS, was so hurt by this system that he ended up doing all he did. And Tyler is inevitably returning, the writers have talked about how we’re going to learn more about Tyler and explore his true feelings for Wednesday. They’ll be brought back together, no doubt. And thus, the deep dive on Hydes will probably begin.

I don’t care what you ship, I don’t even care if you really LIKE Tyler as a character, but I DO care that so many have made him out to be a pure villain simply because that suits their own personal narrative better, and makes them feel like it’s more likely their preferred ship will win the “war.” Like, try and WATCH a show, actually WATCH it, and not simply cling to bits and pieces that suit the storyline you’ve made up in your head. You’re SUPPOSED to hate LAUREL, you’re supposed to, at the very least, wonder if the Real Tyler is still in there, if he can be helped, and you are SUPPOSED to feel some pity for the boy who was forced into becoming an enslaved monster.

wyler + being in each other’s personal space

Bucky: Maybe John's love language is Words of Affirmation :)

What are epidermis pedestrians? First time I'm coming across that word... And your blog so I'm kinda trying to navigate here

An epidermis pedestrian is a "Ski*n W*lker" We don't say the name because it can bring them to you. In the spirit world names are super important and when an entity has your name it can have power over you, and vice versa. Epidermis walkers are beings that can slip into the skin of literally anything to stalk and hunt its prey. An epidermis walker can even take the form of a "Not Deer" Though they are two different things, they can be of the same entity. They originate from Navajo culture, and are called The Yee Naldlooshii and are often times mistaken for wendigos. In Navajo culture, epidermis walkers are derived from ’ánt’įįhnii, which in our terms would be a witch. It is said that after initiation an ’ánt’įįhnii has the ability to become a Yee Naldlooshii. Not all witches are epidermis pedestrians, but all epidermis pedestrians are witches. It is important to note that not all witches are evil, not all of them practice baneful magic, they are a part of two different worlds. "In some stories, people who have attained the highest rank are called clizyati, which means pure evil. This can be achieved by killing a close blood relative, incest, necr0phili4, or other culturally taboo and evil acts. Upon completing one or more of these acts is said to destroy their humanity and allow them to become fully initiated in the way of witchery."

An epidermis pedestrian can take the form of a coyote, wolf, fox, eagle, owl, or crow, but they have the ability to change into whatever animal they need for whatever purpose they need it for. Again I will say Do Not Say The Name Out Loud, Ever. It calls them to you as if you have a target on your back, like being marked by a hunter. I made the mistake of doing it, and there was this bird that followed me for days and it was unlike any other bird. I shit you not, it flew in circles, upside down, and even backwards. I swear to you sometimes it looked like it was hovering in one place. Take note of how animals walk and act around you. If it is a predatory animal and it clearly doesn't think of you as prey, it is most likely a epidermis pedestrian. They often take the high ground, so if you see an animal following you especially from a high place, it most likely will be an epidermis walker. Pay attention to how the body moves, unless they are at the highest level it will always reveal itself by being clumsy. The most obvious example is the countless stories about the deer who turned around, but their legs stayed behind. Sometimes it may walk in a shamble, or jutt around, or even have distorted and crooked limbs. If you see one and you look it in the eye, their eyes will glow yellow whether it is day or night. They can only be found in the desert as that is the only place where they can strive. In the rare case of names, epidermis walkers are the only being that will fear your name. If you call out your given name, it will have to wait until the resonance dissipates. They don't have names, they all consider themselves to be a part of the "Shift".

Below the cut is a clip of a person talking about the things their grandfather has told them about epidermis walkers, how to spot them, and more about them.

Skinwalkers typically live in caves where man cannot reach, or on the tops of mesas. Skinwalkers, while being able to shift, must assume their human form during rest. They are still vulnerable to human patterns of existence. So they seek out places of rest that are seemingly unattainable to humans. The Utes would use this to their advantage, and climb nearby cliffs to catch or kill skin walkers when they least expected it. NOTE: Skinwalkers when sleeping are at their MOST powerful. In the state of rest, the strength to shift circulates through their body over and over again. If they are disturbed during rest, they are at their strongest and can kill at an instant. My grandfather told a story of a particularly Nasty group of two skin walkers who killed several children in a Ute village. A group of brave warriors tracked them to a set of cliffs, where there was a giant half dome cave about 200 feet up. The bravest warriors of the Ute tribe in the region snuck up the cliff, and when they reached the half dome cave, they opened fire on the two skin walkers. The skin walkers were not to be deterred, and instantly killed 3 warriors with their bare hands. The remaining Ute warriors kept firing, and finally the skin walkers lunged toward the edge of the cliff, telling the warriors that they would come back for them another day. The skin walkers ran to the end of the cliff and jumped...but The Utes were already two steps ahead. For weeks they had been bringing in dry brush to the valley below the cave, and by the time the skinwalkers jumped, nearly 3 acres of deadfall was piled strategically throughout the valley trees to look natural. The minute the skin walkers left the cliff, the Utes below lit the pitch-covered dead fall, and when the skin walkers landed, they were quickly trapped in a giant raging bonfire. The skin walkers howled so loudly, that it was said the wind whistled like wolves in that valley for another 50 years.

Skinwalkers sloppily shed fur and you can use it to summon them. When skin walkers turn back, it's just as ugly as when they turn. Instead of cleanly shifting back into human form, skin walkers often leave behind chunks of fur, sometimes up to 6 inches long and 2 inches wide, called "bent skin". If you find "bent skin", you can lure a skinwalker by blowing on the chunk of fur into a fire. The skinwalker will instantly follow the scent to your fire, without question, instinctively. The Ute's would use this method whenever they could, but it was very rare to find "bent skin" without actively knowing the footsteps of a skinwalker.

"The White Wind". That is the expression the Utes used to describe the effects of speaking into quartz rocks to a skinwalker. Skinwalkers are greatly weakened by the voice vibrations of a quartz rock. Medicine Men would carry with them giant quartz rocks, and set them upon a cliff to send out warnings to all nearby skin walkers never to come near their camp. This could only be done when the evidence of skin walkers in the immediate area of the camp could be found. It could not be used as a blanket method to ward off would be attacker skin walkers. The Utes thought that quartz resonated with souls, and that if spoken to with the proper countenance from a Medicine Man or Warrior, that the quartz rock could speak directly to the soul of a person or animal. There was one story about a particularly aggressive skinwalker who chose to stand outside the camp in Elk Form to intimidate the tribe. An elder Medicine Man walked to a nearby rock face, put a giant quartz stone on top, and sang the name of the most recent victims to skin walkers over and over again. Within a matter of hours, the elk began violently kicking, turning from human, to elk, and back again, until it finally started taking the shape of the victims who it killed. The Medicine Man then commanded the skinwalker to turn back to its evil elk form, and jump off a cliff to its final death. The next morning the tribe woke up and found the skinwalker in human form split in half over a pointed stump.

If you can find a skinwalker trail, usually characterized by animal footprints with unusual spacings and variations (example: Deer hoof prints that all of a sudden emerge into 10 feet gaps), you can weaken a skinwalker greatly by putting fish remains in its prints. Animals from the water are highly poisonous to skin walkers in the spiritual sense because they represent water, the killer of the desert. The scent of the fish or other water animal will approach the heel of the skinwalker, and cause him to weaken the more he walks. Warriors who found skin walker trails would alert the tribe, and they would spend days fishing our a local river and then preparing the remains to be used against the skin walkers. The Utes would then follow the footprints for miles, leaving fish rot in each skinwalker indentation, and pouring a mixture of water and fish oil near any pissing sites. Sometimes if they followed the skinwalker closely enough, they would find it wandering half dead in the desert and then kill it or capture it. It is important to note that the use of fish in weakening a skinwalker can ONLY be used when following it. It has to do with the skin walkers sense of smell. They smell for miles both forward and backward, and the fish stench, in order to exact harm, must come subtly from behind, otherwise it will be detected and avoided ASAP. So in summary, one cannot catch a fish, post it at their campsite, and expect to ward off a skinwalker for good. One has to use the fish scent carefully to eventually send the skinwalker into ruin.

Skinwalker Ritual Sites. Skinwalkers have religious sites all across the southwestern desert where they congregate from time to time, (no one knows how often), but they know it happens. These religious gatherings usually take place on the tops of mesas or in secret caves only accessible by skin walkers. At these gatherings the most diabolical happenings occur, innocent captives are eaten alive for sport, children are sacrificed, humans are forced to fight to the death, and abducted women are forced to bear every depraved sex act ever conceived - all for the skinwalkers' entertainment. The Utes told a story of the operator of a Spanish Mine who stumbled upon a viewing of such a ritual. The Spaniard had come to them to trade for supplies and had told them he knew of a skinwalker religious festival coming up that he wanted to sneak in to view it from afar. The Utes pleaded with him not to go, and to head back to his homeland for his own safety and the safety of his men. The Spaniard was far too stubborn to listen to a mere "Native" and snuck into a viewing of the ritual. Weeks later, they ran into the same Spaniard. He had aged at least 30 years. His hair was lightning white, and his skin had been charred by fire. The Utes gave him some water. He tried to speak, but each time he did his whole body trembled. Upon trying to speak for a third time, sweat poured out all over his body. But it was not the kind of sweat that would soak on a warrior's back after battle. It was blood coming out of his pores, because sweat had given up. The Spaniard died seconds later, unable to communicate what ungodly things he had seen at the skinwalker ritual. He didn't have to communicate -- the Utes knew.

Skinwalker Ritual Sites - The Ute Response. 3 Generations before the Spaniard died from sheer panic and fear over the Skinwalker ritual, the Utes had their own tragic experience with it. Four women, including two of the wives of the chief had disappeared within a month. Through dreams the two wives of the chief had reached out to the medicine man to let them know that they were being held captive in a giant room underneath a mesa. The Medicine man and the chief assembled all the warriors in the tribe approached the mesa, which was over 100 miles away. When they approached the mesa they saw a sea of bones, which became more pronounced with each step. What used to be dried and withered animal ribs soon became human hips, skulls, and spines. The plants were dead for nearly half a mile in every direction. The Medicine man and the warriors came up with a plan. The warriors would distract the skin walkers, while the medicine man and his team would build a giant lightning rod on top of the mesa. The warriors and the medicine men went their separate ways and carried out the plan. When the warriors found the cave beneath the Mesa, they formed a perimeter around it and waited in the bushes until its rightful king returned. When the skin walkers came out of the brush and into the cave, they opened fire, from all sides, everywhere, nearly painting the mesa with arrows. Before their arrow fire could finish, the Medicine man at the top of the mesa, grabbed a quartz stone and directed lightning to hit his 4 story tall quartz tower. The lightning hit the tower with such a force that the Mesa cracked in half, and covered half of the tribe in rubble. It is said that the skinwalkers came out roasting alive, with smoke pouring out of their eyes, ears and mouth, covered in charred black skin. The captured native women came out soon after, unscathed, with only a few cuts and bruises on them. The warriors yelled for the Medicine man to come down, that they had been victorious. The Medicine Man then yelled back: "No victory until dust...." The Medicine man proceeded to conduct 50 more strikes of lightning on the Mesa. With each strike it crumbled, until finally it was reduced to a small sand hill. The medicine man was barely able to walk, so succumbed with forcing the lightning strikes when a warrior approached him and said "Look." The Medicine Man looked and saw a beautiful white bird landing on the small sand hill that used to be the Mesa. The Medicine Man, then grabbed the bird and snapped its neck. The bird turned into a muscular human. The Medicine man said: "Let's find his sand hill." This medicine man who was named Fist of Lightning and Death, went on to destroy 4 mesas, and 3 giant caves, but in his words only "chased the wind" of the skin walkers.

Skinwalker in nevada

WARNING : Paranormal Activity mention/occurrence.

I was on Tiktok just about half an hour ago when I came across this video of someone saying “ come here, I just wanna talk to you, come here ”. The person is no where in sight but this voice is coming directly from the guy recording's, living room. At first I thought it was fake until he actually talked, and you can HEAR the ‘ person ’ from the other room sounds EXACTLY like him. The guy behind the camera said it was a skin Walker in his house. Once again, I thought maybe it might've been a prank until I saw four or five more videos on his page about this.

The second video, you can hear clawing and banging outside of the door of the room he locked himself in. People in the comments kept saying it was his cat but I can assure you it sounded nothing like a cat pawing at the door.

In the third video, he's completely freaking out. You can hear the fear in his voice clear as day, his tone is shaky and the camera isn't focused at all because he's continuously pacing. Near the end of the video, when he's walking in the bathroom, you can see a candle perched on top of the toilet. It was completely unlit throughout the whole video right until he said “ I don't know what I'm going to tell my wife ”, and then all of a sudden their a flame burning on the wick. It freaked me the fuck out.

There's a forth video where he's running down the street yelling. The audio was cut because tiktok deemed it as inappropriate. But he's running, trying to get away from his house and trying to scare this skin walker away. I went to the comments to find out more, since there was no audio, and it turns out it was actually fucking screaming back at him.

There's one last video he posted yesterday. I didn't see anything paranormal, but he's staying at a warehouse he sought out and the caption gave me the chills. “ I'm staying at this warehouse for a few days... but I think I overstayed my welcome. They're here. ” and he's running down the stairs into some creepy ass basement.

Here is the video ^ the first one. Hopefully I'm not the only one who believes him. You can clearly see he's not lying.

Irish people; The faeries aren’t real

Irish people; No fucking way will I go in that faerie ring

why does ANYONE think that charlotte and cooper should be together?

i don’t understand how we can just get over how emotionally abusive he was to her, and it feels like they try and make it seem like they both did it to each other but no. charlotte was not abusive toward him, she stood up to him and fought back. just because she was loud and argued back, doesn’t make her abusive.

he is the one who constantly called her heartless, a bitch, a whore. or, remember that time he said “you’re just a sex toy i got off the internet, a little girl trying to please her dead daddy” just because she never told him she was married before?

he never deserved her and i HATE that they made her get back with him. i don’t care how cute they end up being. his behavior toward her is inexcusable.

I believe in free education, one that’s available to everyone; no matter their race, gender, age, wealth, etc… This masterpost was created for every knowledge hungry individual out there. I hope it will serve you well. Enjoy!

FREE ONLINE COURSES (here are listed websites that provide huge variety of courses)

Alison 

Coursera

FutureLearn

open2study

Khan Academy

edX

P2P U

Academic Earth

iversity

Stanford Online

MIT Open Courseware

Open Yale Courses

BBC Learning

OpenLearn

Carnegie Mellon University OLI

University of Reddit

Saylor

IDEAS, INSPIRATION & NEWS (websites which deliver educational content meant to entertain you and stimulate your brain)

TED

FORA

Big Think 

99u

BBC Future

Seriously Amazing

How Stuff Works

Discovery News

National Geographic

Science News

Popular Science

IFLScience

YouTube Edu

DIY & HOW-TO’S (Don’t know how to do that? Want to learn how to do it yourself? Here are some great websites.)

wikiHow

Wonder How To

instructables

eHow

Howcast

MAKE

Do it yourself

FREE TEXTBOOKS & E-BOOKS

OpenStax CNX

Open Textbooks

Bookboon

Textbook Revolution

E-books Directory

FullBooks

Books Should Be Free

Classic Reader

Read Print

Project Gutenberg

AudioBooks For Free

LibriVox

Poem Hunter

Bartleby

MIT Classics

Many Books

Open Textbooks BCcampus

Open Textbook Library

WikiBooks

SCIENTIFIC ARTICLES & JOURNALS

Directory of Open Access Journals

Scitable

PLOS

Wiley Open Access

Springer Open

Oxford Open

Elsevier Open Access

ArXiv

Open Access Library

LEARN:

1. LANGUAGES

Duolingo

BBC Languages

Learn A Language

101languages

Memrise

Livemocha

Foreign Services Institute

My Languages

Surface Languages

Lingualia

OmniGlot

OpenCulture’s Language links

2. COMPUTER SCIENCE & PROGRAMMING

Codecademy

Programmr

GA Dash

CodeHS

w3schools

Code Avengers

Codelearn

The Code Player

Code School

Code.org

Programming Motherf*?$%#

Bento

Bucky’s room

WiBit

Learn Code the Hard Way

Mozilla Developer Network

Microsoft Virtual Academy

3. YOGA & MEDITATION

Learning Yoga

Learn Meditation

Yome

Free Meditation

Online Meditation

Do Yoga With Me

Yoga Learning Center

4. PHOTOGRAPHY & FILMMAKING

Exposure Guide

The Bastards Book of Photography

Cambridge in Color

Best Photo Lessons

Photography Course

Production Now

nyvs

Learn About Film

Film School Online

5. DRAWING & PAINTING

Enliighten

Ctrl+Paint

ArtGraphica

Google Cultural Institute

Drawspace

DragoArt

WetCanvas

6. INSTRUMENTS & MUSIC THEORY

Music Theory

Teoria

Music Theory Videos

Furmanczyk Academy of Music

Dave Conservatoire

Petrucci Music Library

Justin Guitar

Guitar Lessons

Piano Lessons

Zebra Keys

Play Bass Now

7. OTHER UNCATEGORIZED SKILLS

Investopedia

The Chess Website

Chesscademy

Chess.com

Spreeder

ReadSpeeder

First Aid for Free

First Aid Web

Wolfram Demonstrations Project

Please feel free to add more learning focused websites. 

*There are a lot more learning websites out there, but I picked the ones that are, as far as I’m aware, completely free and in my opinion the best/ more useful.

top 10 horror movies streaming on amazon prime

Suspiria (2018): AMAZING!!! This movie is simultaneously beautiful and disturbing as hell. I haven’t seen the original so I can’t really compare the two, but this movie is without a doubt the most creative horror film I’ve ever seen. The visuals are…stunning. This movie (on the surface level) revolves around a dance troupe where something unsettling seems to be going on, driving several of the girls there crazy. I won’t give too much more away, but I’d highly recommend! The music and dancing is incredible, too. Everything is just so pretty to look at, and so interesting because you never know what to expect, like watching some kind of art presentation. I will admit it starts out a little slow and I found the story hard to follow for maybe the first 20 minutes as I don’t know much history, but make it through those first 20 mins and you won’t regret it! (Warning: this movie is not for the faint of heart. Extremely graphic, gory, and honestly straight up disgusting in parts. One of the most horrifying films I’ve seen in a long time.)

Hereditary: I love this movie!!! Though I didn’t really find it scary in the traditional sense. People acted like it was the most frightening thing they’d ever seen, and I thought it was a bit tame, but then again, basically nothing scares me when it comes to movies, so I don’t know. Let me know if you think otherwise. That being said, it’s still super good and will still make you feel some type of way. Does a great job of making you feel uncomfortable and stressed the whole way through. Which maybe doesn’t sound like a good thing, but if you’re seeking out horror, what else are you here for?? This movie has gore, don’t get me wrong, but not too much compared to any other scary movies. But it’s shot really uniquely and the story is totally unpredictable, and there’s certain things that happen that make you feel so fucking upset because you start to put yourself in the characters’ shoes and you’re like OMGWHYWHYWHYWHYYYY. 

Would You Rather: Kind of a “slumber party fright night” sort of movie. Relies on shock, some gore, and jump scares for its frights, and definitely an easy movie for a beginner of the horror genre. It’s just one of those movies you can watch over and over again, with friends or alone, and never get sick of. This film depicts a game of would you rather where whatever the players choose, they actually have to go through with. It’s interesting to think about which of the two terrifying options you’d pick if you somehow found yourself in the same shoes.

It Follows: I saw this with my friend in theaters and neither of us were very sure how we felt about it immediately after finishing it. However, after giving myself some time to think, I found I couldn’t, well STOP thinking about it. First off, the music in this film is incredible, which is probably something I say way too much, but what can I say? I love a good original score. Anyway, premise-wise it might sound a bit WTF, but somehow it weirdly works as an original, entertaining, and chilling story. I recommend watching a second time, as you’ll begin to notice things you missed the first. Make sure to constantly pay attention to the background of this movie! You’ll notice people walking towards our protagonists the entire time, completely unfocused by the camera, which I enjoyed. It sort of forced you into the shoes of the characters, making you realize how easy it was for you to miss things they did, as well. I also thoroughly enjoyed the opening. 

They Look Like People: This is a pretty low budget indie film, but does horror in a way that doesn’t need a ton of special effects. It will put you into the head of the main character, who has no idea whether he is schizophrenic or actually experiencing the end of the world. The buzzing of flies he constantly hears, the constant anxiety and unease–it’s all just…I don’t know. Brilliant. This film will make you uncomfortable as hell. The ending is very abrupt, but I love everything about it.

Antisocial: Another one of those “good to watch with friends” type movies that doesn’t require too much thought. I don’t think it has the greatest reviews, but honestly I love it. I guess it’s sort of a guilty pleasure kind of movie. The characters can be dumb (not frustratingly so, but they have their moments), it’s fairly cliche, but overall it has a unique story and has lots of gore and fun scares. Apparently there’s a 2nd movie also on Prime, but I’ve never watched it so I can’t tell you how that is, but I’d definitely give the first a shot!

Stake Land: I don’t know what it is about this movie, it just makes me FEEL something. Sort of has a zombie apocalypse vibe to it, although we’re dealing with vampires instead of zombies. This movie does have it’s gore and jump scares, but I’d say it’ll probably depress you more than it’ll scare you. Still, there’s something disturbing and unsettling about it all the same, and I think it deserves a spot on this list. 

We Are What We Are: OH BOY. This movie is great. I absolutely love the pacing, and the excellent way it builds up to the story’s climax. You’ll get uneasier and uneasier as it goes on, and more and more is revealed to you. This family is hiding a dark secret, one that you won’t want to be right about. But maybe don’t eat while you watch this one. It gets pretty disgusting, and I remember feeling a little sick towards the end despite not usually being too effected by gore. 

Animal: Is it cheesy and totally predictable? Sure. But I love monster movies!!! There’s not really much new I can say about this, so I won’t go into too much detail, but the design of the monster is cool as hell. If you enjoy watching movies about people lost in the woods getting hunted by something truly evil, give this one a go. 

The Ruins: First of all, I must stress how badly you need to read the book this movie is based on, by Scott Smith. It doesn’t particulary matter which order; I actually watched the movie long before I realized it was a book and still enjoyed the read. Oddly enough, even though the author heavily helped write the movie script, the book has some major differences?? Overall I liked the book better though because it ends a little darker. That being said, the movie is great! It has a really unique concept for a horror movie, but I won’t say much because I want you to be surprised about what the “monster” is. (So maybe avoid trailers or reading any kind of description!) I know there’s an alternate ending, so I’d be sure to look that up and watch it on YouTube because I remember liking it better since it was more of an “unhappy” ending and I don’t go into most horror movies hoping it’ll end well. This is just such an awesome movie. I don’t know what else to say but that: it’s fucking awesome. You’ll get to watch a group of friends completely deteriorate as they lose their minds, desperate to escape their impossible situation.

Rewatching Meggie and her mom going through cancer just makes me believe Maggie is a judgmental and horrible person at heart. She had so much support and shoved it their face negatively. Meanwhile she treated her mother like trash and those that tried to help she abuse, along with her mother. She makes EVERYTHING about HER!!

You’re killing people?

No. I’m killing boys.

demi moore is so fuckin hot in g.i. jane, and tbh she really should’ve been a lesbian and gotten with that hot doctor. just embrace it, girl!

I've seen Blackfish quite a few times now. I honestly don't consider it too disturbing or shocking - just sad and angry at SeaWorld's response.

Another short documentary called Inside the Tanks featured a french Sea Park that had orcas. The guy working at the park who actually came out to talk with the filmcrew about the animal's wellfare? For all I disagree with him on, he actually did what SeaWorld should have done with Blackfish: give their side. That he agrees life could be better for the animals and a better program would be ideal is a step in the right direction, and that is: getting the sea parks and the whale experts on the same page and work together to help their animals! It's the parks who own the whales and have all their veterinary care. It would be ideal to have the same trainers around especially for the whale born in captivity. If they were open to change - real genuine change, there'd still be room to complain but it would be SOMETHING.

Instead, SeaWorld went on the war-path against Blackfish, refused to give the doc their take and called everything in it a lie. Their failure is their own. They had the opportunity to change but that would be an admittance of guilt and that's BAAAD meanwhile Disney parks operate just fine despite ALL the fatalities that happened at their parks. It's like they know not to wear that shit as a badge and spin it like it's always the fault of the victims which is what SeaWorld absolutely did to it's employees. It's not good when you're making Disney look better, SeaWorld!

If you haven't seen Blackfish yet, you should. The most misleading part of the documentary is using footage of wales that aren't actually being described the interviewees ((the baby whale Jon Crow talked about capturing in the beginning of the doc is NOT Tilikum, but Lolita)). That's it though. The rest of it is honestly pretty forgiving of SeaWorld's employees and legacy considering the circumstances - especially the first 10 or so minutes. This isn't some PeTA shit, folks. This movie is sad not only for the orcas but because it makes you feel for these trainers who love these animals and eachother and have been utterly betrayed by the industry.

I just watched “It Follows” for the first time (spoilers ahead), and while I’m late to the party, I absolutely loved it. It lacks most of the jump scares that puts me off some horror movies, but it is unnervingly relentless. The creep factor is way up there.

But what I love most is that it really is an allegory for sexual assault. It’s how it starts, honestly, and carries through in the way the protagonist’s friends and family circle around her, and all the way to the end, when there is no magical save that kills the creature and lets them live happily ever after. It’s something they carry with them, and continue to survive, day by day, together.

The Famine That Follows: “It Follows” as a depiction of trauma in multiple forms

hi guys, i wrote an 8 page essay on my read of the movie “it follows” as a metaphor for the ever present specter of trauma in one’s life, something ive been threatening to do for uhhh years. i finally sat down and slammed it out today, so here’s a link to the full thing if you would like to read it. i would like you to read it very much. 

>>>READ IT<<<

SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS HORROR ISNT NEW

Yes Jordan Peele made it mainstream, but it’s been there for a long time.

Alien is a great commentary on sexism in the workplace

The first 3 Saw films are all a VERY SUBTLE critique of what is considered “normal displays of masculinity” especially in Hollywood.

Frankenstein is a commentary on fear of the social other and its common drawbacks

It Follows is a commentary on how inextricable society thinks sexuality is from womanhood, and makes the protagonist a sexually active woman

Tod Browning’s Freaks is a slap in the face to American eugenicists

And those are just the examples I can think of on the fly

a thought about It Follows

since It is vulnerable to physical injury (if It wasn’t, a bullet wouldn’t have slowed It down) and moves only at walking speed, why doesn’t Its current target just live on a boat? a boat can outpace a human easily, and the ocean will slow It down even more, because It’ll have to swim or attempt to walk along the bottom and be crushed by the pressure. even better–if It can be passed on to a submariner, It’ll have to deal with both of those factors.

How to Handle Having TOO MUCH To Do

So let’s say you’re in the same boat I am (this is a running theme, have you noticed?) and you’ve just got, like, SO MUCH STUFF that HAS to get done YESTERDAY or you will DIE (or fail/get fired/mope). Everything needs to be done yesterday, you’re sick, and for whatever reason you are focusing on the least important stuff first. What to do!

Take a deep breath, because this is a boot camp in prioritization.

Make a 3 by 4 grid. Make it pretty big. The line above your top row goes like this: Due YESTERDAY - due TOMORROW - due LATER. Along the side, write: Takes 5 min - Takes 30 min - Takes hours - Takes DAYS.

Divide ALL your tasks into one of these squares, based on how much work you still have to do. A thank you note for a present you received two weeks ago? That takes 5 minutes and was due YESTERDAY. Put it in that square. A five page paper that’s due tomorrow? That takes an hour/hours, place it appropriately. Tomorrow’s speech you just need to rehearse? Half an hour, due TOMORROW. Do the same for ALL of your tasks

Your priority goes like this:

5 minutes due YESTERDAY

5 minutes due TOMORROW

Half-hour due YESTERDAY

Half-hour due TOMORROW

Hours due YESTERDAY

Hours due TOMORROW

5 minutes due LATER

Half-hour due LATER

Hours due LATER

DAYS due YESTERDAY

DAYS due TOMORROW

DAYS due LATER

At this point you just go down the list in each section. If something feels especially urgent, for whatever reason - a certain professor is hounding you, you’re especially worried about that speech, whatever - you can bump that up to the top of the entire list. However, going through the list like this is what I find most efficient.

Some people do like to save the 5 minute tasks for kind of a break between longer-running tasks. If that’s what you want to try, go for it! You’re the one studying here.

So that’s how to prioritize. Now, how to actually do shit? That’s where the 20/10 method comes in. It’s simple: do stuff like a stuff-doing FIEND for 20 minutes, then take a ten minute break and do whatever you want. Repeat ad infinitum. It’s how I’ve gotten through my to do list, concussed and everything.

You’ve got this. Get a drink and start - we can do our stuff together!

UH WHAT

UH...... WHAT.........

sign up for the gold package of ADHD today and experience the following moods:

The Loop - opening and closing the same three websites in succession for 15 minutes at a time before realizing that there’s not going to be anything new or worth doing on those websites (my three are Tumblr, Youtube and Wikipedia)

The Ack - seeing you have a new message and, though you have no evidence that it’s anything even remotely noteworthy let alone negative, feel intense dread and procrastinate looking at the message for 30 minutes/5 hours/a week

The Shimmy - changing sitting/laying positions every 5 minutes because god dammit i’m not going to be able to focus on whatever task i need to do if I feel any unwelcome physical sensation

The Ol’ Razzle Dazzle - making a hot beverage for yourself and then putting it down slightly out of reach and then not drinking it until 45 minutes later when it has already gone cold

The Bellwether - scrolling on Tumblr and getting the urge to google something/look up something on Wikipedia, but you keep scrolling and forget what you wanted to look up so you frantically scroll back to the thing that prompted you to think about looking the other (un)related thing up in the first place

The Bop - earnestly insisting that you’re not anxious because the other person sees your leg bouncing and thinks that you’re about to go postal

The Poison Dart - hearing someone say something problematic out loud and freezing because, while you want to correct them gently, you also feel intense dread and RSD that if you even so much as suggest dissent the person will immediately and commensurately stab you to death or snap their fingers and open a trapdoor to hell beneath you

The Ghost Breath - realizing you haven’t texted your friend back/at all/in 3 weeks and thinking “Hmmm, I need to do that” and then you don’t do it and much more time passes by 

The Stim Package - eating an entire family-sized bag of chips in one sitting because having something to chew on helped you concentrate, at least a little

The Bullfrog - going to get something that you don’t use often but you know exactly where it is and then it’s not there and you just keep going back to that spot 5 more times before realizing you lost it or it’s somewhere else completely different (like, not even in the same building)

The Morning Mist - regularly forgetting what recent life events actually happened and which ones were from extremely vivid dreams

The Seesaw Rivet - feeling like a wounded child who is about to get in trouble during every interaction you have even as you are entering your mid-to-late-20s and genuinely wondering when that pattern is ever going to stop if ever

The Pull-Apart Muffin - having ADHD and about 3 other diagnoses and wondering what is even what anymore

Everyday ADHD Things

- Losing things all the time

- Always being late

- Finding it hard to listen to someone talk about something you’re not interested in

- You can focus better when you’re doing something else that requires no thinking (eg, tapping fingers on the desk, playing with your hair)

- Cannot follow spoken instructions because you’ve already forgotten half of the steps

- Takes way longer to clean your room than it takes anyone else because as you’re tidying something away, you realise that your floor is dirty, so you start cleaning the floor, then you realise you should get a rug, so you start thinking about what colour to get, and half an hour later you’re standing in the shops looking for a rug but your room is still horribly messy

- You think someone hates you because they were busy and couldn’t hang out, and you KNOW you’re probably being oversensitive but also you’re worried that maybe you’re not being dramatic and they actually do hate you

- Getting obsessed with (hyperfixating on) a tv show/book/hobby and doing nothing but researching that one thing for weeks on end until one day you just suddenly aren’t that interested in it anymore

- Doing things - even things that you want to do - is hard. You want to get up and put a pizza in the oven but for some reason you just can’t make yourself do it. Now it’s three hours later and you’re starving and also bored so you want pizza and you want to watch the tv but you’re still. Lying. There.

- Trying to do schoolwork is a nightmare. You’re trying to read the work, but your eyes are just glazed over and you’ve read the same page about 10 times but you still have no idea what it says

- You’re obsessively talking to someone about that thing you love and you know that they lost interest about ten minutes ago but you can’t stop yourself from continuing to talk

- You try so hard at school and you’ve been told you have “potential” and would be doing so much better if you just focussed

- You have no money right now because you keep impulse buying

- People think you act young for your age

- People say that you always seem happy (even though you know that it’s not always true)

- You wish you got extra time in exams because you can just never finish them in time

- The first half of your exams have very long and detailed answers, and the second half is just random scribbled thoughts because you absolutely cannot plan your time properly, no matter how many times your teachers tell you that you’re meant to spend X amount of minutes on each question

What Does ADHD Look Like In Girls? - Things I Wish I Knew Ten Years Ago

Hello world!  

I’m back, as promised, and today I’m going to talk about some stuff I wish I knew ten years ago- ADHD symptoms that are common in girls but often get overlooked. Why, you may ask? Because a teacher or parent normally won’t notice that a child is struggling unless it’s very apparent – if she is extremely hyperactive and disruptive, for example – or if the child admits that they are struggling. That girl in the corner who’s always daydreaming, but still gets good grades? Or the one who has a hard time making friends or making relationships work, but otherwise seems “normal” (whatever that means)? She’s going to be passed over while her teacher is busy worrying about the boy who can’t stay in his seat for more than five minutes. Plus, girls with ADHD are more likely than boys to internalize their struggles, so if you or your child is anything like me, you might not realize something is off until high school or even later, and even when you do, you might be too embarrassed to ask for help.

If anyone besides my mom ever starts reading this blog, one thing that would make me really really happy and feel as if I’ve made a difference is if even one young woman out there doesn’t have to go through the failed relationships, ruined friendships, and lost semesters that I had to go through before she realizes something deeper is going on than just laziness and being emotional. If you’re a girl who often feels like she’s getting in her own way and suspects there might be something up, but aren’t really sure what it might be, here are some often-overlooked ADHD symptoms that you might relate to.

1.   Daydreaming/Getting Bored in School

As long as I can remember, I’ve had a hard time paying attention in class. When I was very young, I would get called out for daydreaming all the time. I worked on my French homework in science class, flipped aimlessly through my agenda while the teacher was talking, and doodled all over ever single desk I’ve ever sat in. In grade five, I got in trouble for – get this – reading a book during a spelling test. Don’t ask me how I thought I was gonna get away with that, but I was sooooooo booooooored and the teacher was taking soooooo loooooong to read these words that I knew how to spell in grade one. That’s a big reason why inattentiveness in female students often gets overlooked- girls with ADHD don’t usually perform poorly, especially in elementary school. Because I was gifted, my inattentiveness was treated as a quirk rather than a problem. I had a handful of teachers who tried to give me harder work to keep me motivated, but more often than not I was left to entertain myself. It always bothered me that kids who needed extra help got IEPs, the latest learning technologies, and one-on-one time with the teacher, but kids like me, who needed an extra challenge, were neglected

 2.     Impulsive Spending

The most important thing to keep in mind when analyzing the behaviour of people with ADHD is that our brains don’t produce or transmit enough dopamine, which is the feel-good chemical that controls reward-motivated behaviour. Because of that, we seek out anything that will give us a dopamine rush… the only problem is that those behaviours are usually impulsive. You know the saying money can’t buy happiness? Yeah, not necessarily true for ADHD brains. At least for a little while after buying something we’ve managed to convince ourselves we so totally need, we actually do feel really happy, because we’re experiencing a dopamine high. My friend recently got me into doing my makeup properly, and I’m embarrassed to admit how much I’ve spent at Sephora in the last month.  I know it’s dumb, but I do it anyway. Why? Because ADHD brains have a hard time distinguishing what is urgent from what is important. Once I get it in my head that I need that contour kit right now (because what if a surprise event comes up in the next week?), I can’t convince myself otherwise. That sense of urgency releases dopamine, which tells my brain that wasting $60 to look more like the MUAs on Instagram will make me happy. And for an hour or two it does!… Until I look at my bank account.  

3.     Relationship Problems

So, dopamine rush-producing behaviours are usually impulsive, right? What does that look like when it comes to romantic relationships? Dopamine-seeking brains love anything that’s new and novel, and that includes the first phase of a relationship, when you’re sooooo in love and can’t get enough of each other. Of course, that phase ends, and neurotypical people settle into a more lowkey relationship just fine. ADHD brains? Not so much. If you don’t recognize what you’re experiencing as a dopamine withdrawal, you may interpret it is a lack of love from your partner, or as a sign that the relationship is getting boring. I tend to fall into the first category, and people like me can become really insecure thinking that our partner doesn’t care about us. We become excessively demanding and need dramatic displays of affection all the time, which naturally alienates our partners. If you’re somebody who just gets bored, that can result in two unhealthy behaviours: one, moving really quickly from one relationship to the next and never learning how to be alone, and two, cheating. If any or all of these three behaviours are a pattern in your life, you just might have a dopamine shortage, and are unknowingly looking to your partner(s) to fix it.

4.    Word Vomit

It’s really hard for me to explain my tendency to over-explain every little thing (ha, that’s ironic), especially if I’m nervous about it. Have you ever taken seven sentences to say something that could have been said in one? Found yourself repeating the same thing in different words three times? I find I do this the most when I’m apologizing, or trying to explain why I did something that someone else didn’t like or understand. You think you’re being helpful, but really you’re just annoying the other person. Then you realize how annoying you’re being, and apologize for being annoying five times, and now they’re annoyed with you for apologizing for being annoying… okay, that’s when you know it’s time to turn your phone off and cool down. On top of excessive explaining, ADHD brains can get a little word vomit-y when we’re talking about something we’re passionate about. Just ask my mom- get me on the Israeli occupation of Palestine, or, at the moment, information about ADHD, and you won’t get me off it. Sometimes we don’t really know when to shut up. If you have a tendency to keep talking even when you know nobody is listening anymore, then you might want to keep reading.

5.    Road Rage

Everybody road rages once in a while (okay, I’m told that not everyone does, but I don’t believe it. Come on, how can you NOT scream at the person in front of you going 5 km under the speed limit?) but I legitimately feel claustrophobic and panicky if I’m on a four-lane highway stuck behind a car in each lane going the same speed and I can’t get out to pass them. If the person in front of me is doing something stupid, I could literally run them over I get so frustrated, and not just if I’m already cranky- I yell at someone on the road every single day. I’m told this is “apparently” because of our “inattentiveness” and “inability to sit still”, and not because everyone else on the road is a freaking idiot. I don’t know if I believe it, but that’s what I’m told, anyway. ADHD brains are also more likely to get into car accidents. I’ve never been in a major accident while driving, thank God, but I’m only 22, and I’ve had four minor fender benders that, embarrassingly, didn’t involve other cars, but me driving into things in parking lots. Once, I just wasn’t looking behind me and backed into a pole. Another time, I thought that texting in the Tim Hortons drive-thru was a good idea. You get the idea.

6.   Forgetfulness

Again, everybody forgets things once in a while. But if you’re forgetting or misplacing your homework, your car keys, your purse, your work pants (yes, I have actually lost a pair of pants before) every single day, then there might be a problem. Once, I parked my car near campus, spent the day studying in my friends’ office, and then got a ride back to my car at the end of the day. My friend Dan was driving up and down the street I told him I had parked on asking me “is that your car? What about that one?” before I realized that I had parked on a different street on the other side of campus. I never thought being a bit scatterbrained was a problem, and if it only happens once in a while, it probably isn’t. But all of these symptoms together paint a different picture.

7.    Difficulties With Motivation

I never really enjoyed studying, and I guess I was lucky that throughout grade school and high school, I didn’t have to do very much of it. It’s not that I didn’t like learning, it’s just that studying for extended periods of time is so boring. Even in my first three years of university, my super strict immigrant parents watched me like a hawk, so I did what I needed to do, as difficult as it was at times. That all changed when my fourth year rolled around and I moved to Ottawa for an exchange. With no one to stand at the foot of my bed and scream at me until I dragged myself out of it, I just… didn’t. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to, it was just that I couldn’t bring myself to. Same went for going to class, doing my readings, handing in assignments, showing up for exams… it wasn’t pretty. This can also be a symptom of depression, and many people with ADHD, myself included, meet the diagnostic criteria for depression. The difference is that people with depression can’t get out of bed because they’re depressed; people with ADHD get depressed because they won’t get out of bed.  We aren’t lying in bed all day because our mood is low, but because we struggle with executive functioning - motivation, planning, organizing, and self-managing. Those things happen in the prefrontal cortex, and ours are underdeveloped. It can be hard to distinguish where the cycle begins for you, and before being diagnosed, I thought I had depression for sure, but as soon as my psychiatrist explained how ADHD works to me, it fit like a glove.

8.     Starting Projects and Never Finishing Them

This kind of goes hand in hand with lack of motivation, and it’s something I’ve struggled with all my life. It’s also one of the very few ADHD symptoms that isn’t also a hallmark of something else, like depression or anxiety, so it should be a huge red flag if it’s accompanied by some of these other symptoms! Most people tend to procrastinate things they don’t want to do, like studying or cleaning their room. A big indicator that you might be dealing with something more than just laziness is when you procrastinate or don’t finish even things you actually really want to do. And it’s not because you’re lazy or don’t want to do it, it’s because as great as it sounds, you just… can’t. If you’ve ever started a scrapbook and tossed it to the side three days later, tried to start a club on campus but let it fall to the wayside, or created a blog then never actually updated it (I meant to have this posted a solid five days ago, whooooops), then you know what I’m talking about.

 9.       Being Scatterbrained

You’re in the middle of a sentence and you completely lose your train of thought. Alternatively, you’ll be halfway through a sentence then think of something more important that you want to say and totally abandon the idea you’re halfway through and start talking about the new one instead. You interrupt people a lot, because you feel like you HAVE to say the thought that just popped into your head right now, lest it no longer be relevant if you wait five minutes, or even worse, you forget it again in 30 seconds. You’re in the middle of an important text conversation but you open Instagram while you’re waiting for them to text back… then half an hour later you’re creeping your crush’s ex’s brother’s best friend when you realize you never answered that super important text. You zone out while people are speaking directly to you, which makes you look super rude because it seems like you aren’t paying attention. Our inability to focus hard on things can affect our lives in ways you never would have guessed- for example, I am terrible at proofreading and finding typos, and the number of assignments I’ve handed in with words missing from the middle of sentences is embarrassing. If this sounds like you (and if course, if this happens all day every day rather than once in a blue moon, because everybody get scatterbrained when they’re overwhelmed), then you’ve come to the right place.

10.     Being SUPER Enthusiastic… Sometimes

We’ve already established that ADHD brains can have trouble with motivation and with staying committed to something long-term, but that doesn’t capture the entire picture. If you think of depression as basically always being in a low state, ADHD is different in that you sort of swing from highs to lows and back again. Like I mentioned, ADHD brains don’t have enough dopamine transmitters, and we kind of get addicted to anything that does produce a dopamine high. So if something does make us happy or excited, we’re gonna be the happiest, most excited people on earth. My psychiatrist gave me a situation where an ADHD person might win $5 on a scratch off ticket, but the way they jump up and down all excited makes the people around them think they’ve won a million dollars. In my case, this often looks like getting really excited about a paper or assignment for a class I’m particularly interested in. I’ll take out books from the library and hyper-focus on planning the assignment for about three days… then the whole “starting a project but never finishing it” kicks in, and that’s a whole different story…

11.    Verbal Aggression (As Opposed to Physical Aggression)

Although I don’t mean to generalize or to imply that every single boy or girl is the same, this tends to be a notable difference between girls with ADHD and their male counterparts. Girls are much less likely to be physically violent, but when you piss us off, or trigger our Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (that’s what my next post is going to be about, by the way!)… watch out. You might get a verbal beatdown like you’ve never experienced before. This is one of the ugliest and most frustrating things about having ADHD for me. I’ll tell the people I love that I hate them, that they’re ruining my life, that I wish they were never born; I’ll pick on the things I know they’re sensitive about and call them every curse word in the book… only to regret it five minutes and sheepishly try to convince this deeply wounded person that I didn’t actually mean it. It sucks. Big time.

And finally, the one I really wish I knew all this time…

12.    Being Diagnosed With Something Else

Throughout this post, I’ve given a dozen examples of the ways ADHD symptoms can appear like symptoms of depression and anxiety. ADHD in girls is notoriously misdiagnosed, and girls with ADHD are three times as likely as boys to be treated for depression before being properly diagnosed. Beyond that, ADHD can be comorbid with anxiety and depression. I’ve dealt with anxiety and panic attacks since I was eight, and was formally diagnosed with anxiety at 17. When I was diagnosed with ADHD, I was told that I meet all the diagnostic criteria for depression, but it was likely that treating my ADHD would make it go away. My depression went away within literally one week of starting ADHD medication. My anxiety did not go away, but it has been reduced by about 50%. I realized that about half of the somatic experiences I identified as panic attacks were not triggered by mental anxiety but by sensory overload because, as ADHD brains do, I was perceiving way too much of what was going on around me and getting overwhelmed to the point that I would experience panic attack symptoms- dizziness, shortness of breath, nausea, you know the drill. Another statistic that would have made a difference in my life is that girls with ADHD are 2.7 times more likely to suffer from anorexia nervosa than girls without ADHD. I struggled with anorexia from age 16 to 19, so this was quite a shock to discover three years later. There’s definitely some cool brain science behind that why that is, so maybe it’ll be the subject of a future post!

 If you have any questions about this post, or think that you or a loved one might be dealing with ADHD, do not hesitate to reach out to me with any questions! I also want to stress that this might seem like a lot, and that anyone dealing with all of this crap would stand out from a mile away, but if that was the case, so many of us wouldn’t go undiagnosed until post-secondary. I experienced all twelve of these signs and symptoms, but the only ones that pushed me to see a psychiatrist were relationship problems, difficulty with motivation, and verbal aggression. Most of these things didn’t seem like they were impacting my day-to-day functioning- I get good grades, have a job, and have no trouble making friends. So please don’t get fall into the trap of telling yourself that what you’re going through “isn’t bad enough to be a real problem.” If something feels off, see a doctor, because you deserve to live the best life possible. 

That’s all for now folks! Stay tuned for my next post about Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria.

I attract all good fortune.

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You attract luck. You are affluent. You are safe. You are loved. You are everything. All good comes your way, period.

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blessed be, bb 💕✨

as far as i can tell, the main theme of Lore on Amazon Prime is that men have literally a l w a y s been stupid 

Dragonfly Dagger