Self Growth - Blog Posts

Wait. That's right...

I've felt and thought for as long as I have breathed. I feel the world say "no," right as I start to grow. I hear myself say "no," simply because I shouldn't grow.

I have taught myself that I don't matter. That everyone deserves the privilege I have Except me.

Or that I don't deserve Love and loyalty Freedom and Rights because I'm a sick bee that will bring down the hive I see myself to be selfish and ignorant and cruel.

I try to do everything perfect. Everything "right." I try to fight, even when I know I can't fight.

Wait. That's right...

I'm not fighter, I'm a writer. I make my own world, With my own rules. I conquer lands and start bands. I learn from others for my own story's progression. Why am I obsessin' over my perfection?

But then...

What should I be if not perfection? Am I an academic? A scientist? An artist? A queen? A princess? A lover? A woman? A thing?

Maybe Just maybe I'll simply be ... me

Buy This, Buy That, "Less than a coffee now!" It seems like every time we're on social media, we're bombarded with products, fashion trends, advertisements, and new "aesthetics" that, conveniently for drop shippers and fast fashion empires, require us to buy a whole new wardrobe and interior design scheme. So, here are my top 10 tips for breaking the cycle.

Figure out who you are. Rather than the you the advertising algorithms tell you that you are.

Go through your current closet, jewelry box, vanity, and decor. Keep what makes you happy, and toss, sell, or donate what doesn't anymore. Yes, this includes those impulse dopamine-seeking purchases and the "little treats."

Make a list of things you realistically do in your day-to-day life that may need closet supplementation from what a standard "capsule" wardrobe would offer you. Church clothes? Sport-specific clothing? Officewear? Do you do a lot of formal events that require attire for certain dress codes? Do you do date night and girl's night outfits? For example: I need dependable workwear for after-hours farm calls so I keep about 5 items in my wardrobe that fit that function. I also keep a bit more workout clothing than some would since I work out 6 days a week.

In the same vein as number 3, are there places where you can increase cross-over between categories in your wardrobe? For example, choosing well-fitted tees that can be worn as under-scrubs and as casual tops around town?

Figure out if there are colors and shades that you look best in/feel the most confident in. There isn't a need to do the one-size-fits-all color analysis that TikTok and Instagram are constantly trying to sell you on reels based on the seasons. Figure out which colors you are complimented the most in, that you feel the best in, and that inspire the most positivity for you. Narrow it down to 4 or 5 colors for both colors and neutrals (blacks, grays, whites, nudes). I did 2-3 colors per season, plus my standard neutrals.

Figure out your style. Personally, I tend to have a fashion that draws inspiration from American traditional, southern prep, English country attire, and the fashions of foxhunting. Think Orvis, LL Bean, Cordings, Dubarry, Talbots, Tory Burch, Ted Baker, and Lily Pulitzer. In decor, I tend to be drawn toward colonial era antiques, leather upholstery, campaign furniture, heavy fabric drapes, ox tongue wood finishes over cherry, oil paintings, black marble, gray field stone, and polished brass. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I found it by perusing fashions, furniture, decor, even TV and movies for things I adored.

Quality over Quantity: This is a big one. Rather than buying a new outfit every time I wanted to do something, or buying each cute accessory I saw and wanted to buy on impulse, I started getting really picky about the materials and workmanship in the things I purchased. Cheap may look good for a brief time, but it fades quickly. The things I buy now need to fit well, be of good material, be tailorable, have finished seams and edges, and be of substantial enough material that I trust that it will last me 2-10 years depending on the item, with some items being things I intend to only buy once in the cases of jewelry and scarves.

Cool off: This product looks like it would solve XYZ problem for me! Will it? Put it on a wish list and save it for later. If you still think it's going to revolutionize your life a month later, work it into the budget.

Quit buying from TikTok Shop, the majority of the stuff on there is drop-shipped junk made to capitalize on a quick trend, which is also part of why there's always pressure added to the pitch "before it sells out" "For less than the price of a coffee" "While the sale is on" if a product can be sold for $9 when it's usually $100, the deal is too good to be true, and the product won't last. Same goes for Shien and Forever 21 if I'm honest.

Focus on 1-2 items per season, an accessory, a cute top or a fun dress. Reducing my consumption to replacement levels plus 1 or 2 items has drastically cut my spending on fashion and decor. I also check second-hand stores first.

I went ahead and included some inspiration boards for you, one with pretty typical accessories for me, one to help better visualize my fashion sense, and then 2 palettes, my colors and my neutrals. I hope you all liked this, I'll also be doing a breakdown of my jewelry, vanity, and closet here soon.

Love,

You can also call or text 988 to connect you to local mental health resources and crisis counselors. It will connect to local, then regional, then the national backup centers in the USA. 988 can also route you to the Veteran's Crisis Line, Spanish Language Crisis Lines, and other resources. You can find out more about the 988 process on your State or County's health department websites.

happy mean girls day to all my nice girls out there

Always remember that no one, absolutely no one, can close a door that God opened for you

Manifesting 🤎🧸

Too many people are focused on how others perceive them while simultaneously existing with zero internal locus of control. You can romanticize and try to find the good in all the bad you face, or you can buckle up, sit down, and do the work you need to do in order to change or adapt your situation for a better tomorrow.

Let this be the point where you say enough is enough, take accountability and responsibility for your healing and future, and move forward to a better self. Start your exit strategy, learn to advocate for yourself, whatever it is you need to do. It's not the universe. It's not God/Goddess. It's in your hands. Let go of the things you can't control. Start working on the things you can.

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა 11/02/24

express gratitude always ♡

today i've had this song on repeat for the entire day i cannot lie, it's brought me so much peace i love it so much. i've also been thinking about how much love and light is around me and how much importance is around me i cannot physically put into words how it makes me feel as of recent.

i was also thinking, is it possible to grieve the present? or is there another word for what im feeling, it's like i am hyper aware all that is happening in front of me and how much energy and molecules of matter exist in front of me and how i have the pleasure to be awake and breathing so much so that it makes me want to cry for hours on end.. the fact that my soul and body got a chance to co-exist in one reality? .. it seems almost dystopian even though its just life. i dont want anyone to dull this spark of gratitude that ive been feeling. its so euphoric, like genuine self love i suppose? i feel it in me in waves. i'm guessing its good energy.

i drank a lot of tea today, started a new lego piece and watched one of my fave kdramas. how i wish i could live a simple life like this after the school holiday period.

wait why would i wish when i can just believe

give yourself permission to be who you are, fear does not exist in a space where gratitude is always present. i always look at the life outside of my head and will forever remain grateful for it all being here, even if its negatively tied to my past. in the same respect i also choose to be who i've always wanted to be even if others look at it negatively ♡

i know that every time i take a step forward out of love for myself, the light that makes me whole shines even brighter. daily reminder that you are such a beautiful being of light too ♡

girl exorcism ⊹˚. ♡

cuz sometimes we all get a little off track and need to wake the fuck up again !!! 🫶🩷

──★ ˙ ̟🐰 physical! 🎀

have an everything shower

do ur whole skincare routine

brush ur teeth, floss, dental care

arrange a new workout routine

dance, pilates, exercise, move around

go on a walk and thrive in nature like a plant or a tree

find and try out some new cute hairstyles

pamper urself! face masks, spa day, etc.

get ur beauty sleep

change your bedsheets and pillowcases

clean your makeup brushes

go through all haircare, skincare, makeup, etc. products

organise and donate or throw out all of the clothes you don't wear or don't make you feel like your own dream girl

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 mental! 🧸

write down all your thoughts. every one.

write down all the problems in your life right now

have a mental breakdown over something tiny and let all ur emotions out by bursting into tears

write down what you want and go over your dreams and goals

read over or write out your highest self and everything about them

analyse your mindset at the moment

write what limiting beliefs you have

remember and remind yourself of your "why", keep it somewhere you can see

write down all your bad habits

write down some new habits to counteract them, become your best self and to work towards the future

vaunt and go on a huuuge rant to urself about how beautiful and perfect and amazing you are bc you literally are <3

──★ ˙ ̟💬 personal! 🎀

sweep your room

open the curtains

wipe down all your mirrors

dust down all surfaces

go through all ur clothes and chuck out or donate ones you don't wear

clean out under your bed !!!!!!!!

rearrange your shelves

get some new posters & wall prints

go through all of the books, movies, series, content you're consuming right now and choose new ones that align with ur highest self

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 digital! 🎧

go through ur following on every platform and delete everyone that makes you feel even remotely negative

uninstall a bunch of apps you don't need

install useful, helpful, purposeful apps

go on the hunt for accounts that make you laugh, happy, or confident

redecorate your home page

revamp your social medias (pinterest, tumblr, instagram, etc)

go through all your playlists and reorganise your music

delete all depressing songs and media

go through your contacts, rename, delete, etc

enemies to lovers but it's me and myself