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lost the breakup | charles leclerc
○tw: alcohol, swears, charles is a proper dick, silly reader, this is the most angsty thing over ever wrote. to celebrate charles win today!○
♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ : w/c: 4.3k of pure hell.
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
"this would be so much easier without you!" it felt like those words flitted around your brain in a loop ever since that night in charles' flat. you hadn't intended it to turn into a massive fight, all you said was you couldn't wait for summer break to finally spend some time with your boyfriend. but seemingly that was all it took for charles to go off on one, roaring at you as if you had actually done something wrong.
you had stood, staring at the man after he had stopped ranting about how being with you only brought him down and how life before you was much easier on him. you couldn't believe that was actually what he thought of your relationship. i mean it wasn't perfect, but who's was? all that you thought mattered was that you tried to make each other happy, and up until today you had thought that you were succeeding in that, clearly not.
"do you mean that?" there was an obvious wobble in your voice that you had tried to disguise but it didn't matter, charles didn't care anyways. you knew that now.
all it took for you to scramble to find somewhere new was that singular nod of his head. you knew he wasn't sure if he meant it but he nodded. he fucking nodded. you could've forgiven him if he took it all back then and there, he didn't even have to beg for your forgiveness you would've just given him it. but he didn't. you didn't mean as much to him as he did to you and he had made that oh so clear tonight. so you did what any sane person would do, you grabbed a pair of shoes and a jacket and left. a part of you thought that maybe he had said all that just to get a rise out of you and to create a fight between the two of you, for whatever reason? you didn't know but you had a nagging feeling that was why he did it. or maybe your brain was just trying to soften the blow of your boyfriend secretly despising you for god knows how long.
so yeah, that was how you ended up rotting in your bed. at this point you really shouldn't still care about him anymore but your heart refused to let him go. and it annoyed you so much. how was it fair that you sat here mourning your relationship and what it could've been while he was out there winning grand prix's and clubbing every other night, seen with a different girl every single time. while he was out picking up girls you were picking up your heart, that had gone straight in the journal as soon as you had thought it.
the fans had realised something was up by the second day of your breakup. you hadn't even collected all of your things from his yet and they were already trending you both on twitter. it honestly felt like the last thing you needed right now but you smiled through the pain and tried to make your instagram feel as normal as possible until charles put up a statement about it, so that you could too. then you could finally put this relationship to rest.
being with charles had given you a following of sorts of your own and you felt like you owed them something, seeing as they only liked you because you were dating- used to date charles. your best friend and current roommate (for the time being, seeing as you were living with charles full time before the breakup) jess had told you millions of times that they were just random strangers and you didn't owe them anything. it never eased the weight you felt though.
one night after the third night in a row of summer break (that very same summer break that you were longing to spend with charles) that charles was out and had been pictured taking some random girl home was the night where jess had tried to snap you out of it.
"i think it hurts more that literally none of them look like me? like if any of them resembled me at least i would know that he missed me, even a little bit. even if it was subconscious, you know?" you had ranted, staring holes into your phone that had showed you the dreaded pictures of the three girls who all looked alike in regards to each other but nothing like you. in fact they were the complete opposite of you in every single way.
jess had swiped your phone off of you and slid it into the back pocket of her jeans.
"look, you technically broke up with him but it doesn't matter. he clearly doesn't care so why the fuck should you?" ever so blunt, jess was.
"i don't mean to be mean, you know that. i mean this in the nicest way possible but you have to get over yourself. this isn't the end of the world as much as it feels like it. the world has continued to spin this past week and it will continue to do so no matter what so you need to get up and live your life. you're wasting your emotions on a man who literally doesn't care whether you live or die at this point."
although it was filled to the brim with all the shit you didn't want to hear, jess knew exactly what you needed and she gave you the wake up call you had been needing since that night. that night she helped you wash your bed sheets and tidy your room up, moving the furniture while blasting taylor swift's breakup songs. jess was still letting you grieve the relationship because she knew better than anyone, that you can't just hear one inspiring speech and finally stop caring about him. even though she knew that you would stop caring sooner rather than later with the way he was acting.
★・・・・・・★
"you better not wear that skirt with those heels!" jess' girlfriend, hailey had shouted over the thrumming bass of someone's getting ready playlist. you weren't too sure who's it was but you knew for certain it was not the usual music that was played in the flat.
'the inchident' (which you thought was a particularly cruel play on words) had happened almost a month ago and jess had invited your closest friends for a night out in monaco. as well as her girlfriend, she had also invited sophie, probably your second best friend.
"why?" sophie asked back, brows down as she moves the skirt in her hands, looking for an issue with it. "it looks good, no?". three shakes of heads are her answers.
"soph it looks so fugly." jess said, trying to pull on a pair of doc martens. you had burst out laughing at that and it had set everyone else off too. you knew pre-drinks were a great idea. the group had already taken three shots already and for a lightweight like you, this was the perfect state to go to the club like. drunk enough that the night seemed endless, plus you would save a fortune on drinks while you were there too, seeing as you were almost on your way to being absolutely smashed. exactly what you needed after this past month.
as you all clamber into the taxi to take you to the club, the group chatters with each other while jess is chatting away to the driver. she got so talkative when she had alcohol in her system. the ride to the club wasn't long so when you all arrive and after you had all given about a million thank you's to the driver you head into the club.
you and sophie find a table to sit at while jess and hailey head in the direction of the bar, hailey offering to buy the first round in celebration of you finally going out with them for the first time in months.
in the taxi ride over, sophie was telling you all about the boy she was speaking to and how he may or may not be a famous athlete. after a joke or two from you about watching what she's getting into she tells you that she had been on a few dates with him and they were days away, as she put it, from becoming official. with all of this in mind you still had no idea why, when you were both on the hunt for a free table, scouring around the very back of the club, she suddenly stops in her tracks, grabs your arm and turns to face you. the poor girl looked like she was about to pass out. surely she hadn't had that much to drink already, you had just gotten here, you had thought to yourself before she spoke up.
"that's him! he's here?!" sophie whisper shouts as she kind of just stands there, almost like shes lagging. you look at her, confusion plastered all over your face.
"who? who's here?" you ask her. it's easy to tell she is annoyed at your question but she's much too preoccupied to tell you off for it in her usual sophie manner. like her fight or flight kicks in at that very moment she suddenly pulls you towards the large booth filled with people, seemingly all men but maybe a few girls from what you could make out. it was actually really dark in this part of the club.
"my man." the blonde girl whispers to you like it was obvious, nothing was obvious to you when you were sober never mind this tipsy. you recognise a man at the end of the row but it doesn't sink in your muddled brain until you are standing directly in front of near enough half of the grid.
you stand like a deer in headlights as it clicks in your brain. the weight of a thousand busses suddenly weighing down on your chest. oh this was so not good. you hadn't looked to see if he was here but did you really need to? it seemed like he was going out at any chance he could find since the two of you last spoke. you avert your attention to sophie who was standing very closely to the man at the edge, who you now could see what carlos. you had no idea that was who she was talking about.
you hear someone in front of you call your name, one of the drivers, maybe lando? he had always been nice to you any time you and charles went out together and ran into him. you don't reply, not that you get the chance to because an arm is gripping yours from behind and at first you swear your heart falls right to the ground and is so very close to taking you with it but you look over and see it was only jess and hailey with your drinks. this was not how tonight was supposed to go.
jess says something you can't hear to sophie and the blonde nods back before you feel your best friend pulling you away from the table. you still feel frozen as she drags you to a free table you and sophie must have missed on your own hunt. you felt like you were having an out of body experience. there was no fucking way in hell that just happened. no way he was here. why couldn't he just let you have this one night to yourself without ruining it? he had already ruined your life, what else does he want?
hailey slides you your drink of choice and heads back up to the bar to order another, knowing you'll need it. jess could see the look in your eyes even if you couldn't feel it yet. what stage of grief was this you were in now? because all you wanted to do was to get the ground to swallow you whole. maybe depression. jess' soft voice pulls you out of your daze.
"hey, drink it. i'm not encouraging drinking to numb your feelings but tonight is not the night to deal with whatever the fuck that was." jess says, her voice as comforting as she could make it. you really appreciated it so you downed your drink and waited for hailey to come with your next.
"we'll process this tomorrow but tonight, we drink." hailey says as she returns. you swear you hear her curse sophie under her breath as you drink. you didn't blame sophie though, she didn't know he would be there and clearly didn't think before she acted. you think that maybe hailey and jess are mad at her now. great, another thing in your life falling apart. you were so getting shitfaced tonight.
the drinks blended into one another as you danced with your friends after sophie had joined you, after promising to carlos she would leave with him.
you were swaying to one of your favourite songs when carlos come over to distract sophie, you just smiled at the two 'couples' that surrounded you. even if there was a clear favourite, nothing against carlos but c'mon. it was jess and hailey. speaking of they had signalled to tell you they were off to join the long line for the toilets. they had asked of you wanted to come but you didn't need to pee so you said no. you should've went though, you probably would need to pee by the time you got to the front of the line but your drunk brain was not in the mood for rational thinking.
that's why when a man slides his arms around you don't protest it and instead lean into him. it had nothing to do with the familiar scent flooding your nose or the hums you heard every single night in your sleep, nope. nothing to do with that twat.
"This one is your favourite, no?" his accent fills your ears and you can literally feel the tension from the past month ease out of you. you lean further into charles as you sway a little to the beat. you were far too drunk to dance properly, the way you were when you first stepped foot onto the dance floor.
"mhm." you nod as your hands slide down to rest on his clasped ones, which were holding your stomach to keep you close, you hoped. charles moves his head to right behind your ear, just so you can hear him better. there was no way he didn't hear or even feel your breath hitch at the feeling of his breath on your ear. if you weren't this plastered then you would be so embarrassed at how easily you let charles do this again. you could even hear the rational part of your brain screaming at you, asking you what you were doing but you could barely even see at this point so of course you ignored it in favour of being the girl in his arms again.
"then why'd all your friends leave you, sweetheart?" charles asks, it feels teasing and maybe even a little mocking but there is no way you would be able to tell the difference in this state, so you just respond, dumbly. "they went to pee."
charles laughs in your ear and it sends goosebumps throughout your body and puts a sappy grin on your face. you hadn't heard his laugh in a while and it felt so good to hear it again. it felt like home to you and god had you been homesick.
you would've done anything the man asked you to when you were like this, well maybe sober too but when you were sober you would've definitely put up more of a fight about doing it. maybe charles was taking advantage of this as he practically moves you both to the next song that plays. it's a good job that jess and hailey come back when they do because you would've done anything for him. it felt like he actually wanted you again. you had missed him like this and here he was acting like he couldn't get enough of you. every part of you hoped to remember this in the morning as both girls pulled you away from his grasp (without any fight from charles, which told the girls everything they needed to know) and took you home, without as much as a goodbye to sophie. safe to say she was not going to be invited round again after tonight.
the next morning consisted of waking up at three pm with the sorest headache you think you've ever experienced and a blurry memory. turns out your hoping and praying last night had worked because the only thing you can remember is the way charles held you. the words he said weren't one hundred percent clear but god if this didn't set you back three weeks. jess was furious with sophie and hailey had literally cut her off in every single way possible. jess tells you over dinner that night that hailey had blocked sophie last night when you had gotten home and it did make you laugh but now you had to mourn the end of two relationships. you knew it was for the better but it still killed you, ripped you apart from the inside.
the thing that hurt you most was charles. you reflect on it in the shower after dinner. he knew how drunk you were and he still came over, clearly because he knew it was the only time you would let him back in without any fight. did that mean he missed you like you missed him? or was he just doing it because he could, showing you (a drunk you, mind you but still you nonetheless) that no matter what he still had his claws in you? your questions were answered as you scrolled through a gossip page and seen that charles left with another girl who looked nothing like you last night. you really had to stop looking through those pages, it did nothing but bring you down.
★・・・・・・★
nothing prepared you from the instagram dm from the quiet australian mclaren driver about another month after the club incident. he had never really spoken to oscar a lot before back when you were a regular in the paddock but it was still super nice to hear from him. it didn't mean you were prepared for him to ask you if you wanted paddock passes to be guests of mclaren at the next race. when you had asked what you had done exactly to deserve this gift, oscar had responded with 'i know your birthday is coming up and i also know how much you love f1'. you cried to jess before texting him back that you would take them. he was such a lovely boy.
you knew how bad ferrari were doing because you were an f1 fan way before you had even met charles so you of course kept up with the sport even after the breakup. even though it killed you to see his face on the screen. and you would never admit this to anyone, not even jess but seeing ferrari do so badly did make your heart ache for charles.
a few days before the race jess takes you shopping to find the outfit that makes charles beg for you back just so you can let him down harshly. her words of course, you would never even think that. as much as he's hurt you there wasn't a bone in your body that wanted to hurt him in return.
"i'm not drinking today, or tonight." you inform jess as you enter the paddock, the cameras immediately snapping in your face. you had not been in the eyes of the media for a good few months and now coming back to this made you feel dizzy but you powered through it because you had missed attending races so much. you found yourself beating up past you for not appreciating the privilege you had, getting to attend all those races.
"mhm, sure you aren't." jess doesn't even try and entertain you. you roll your eyes at her words.
"we both know what happened the last time alcohol and a certain ferrari driver mixed and i, for one, don't feel like going back down that road again." you try to make a joke out of it you're sure it would've worked if it was anyone but jess, she knows you far too well.
oscar greets you not long after and has the audacity to thank you for accepting his invite, he was literally the sweetest boy who's ever walked the earth and jess was sure to let him know of that fact. it left him with a big grin and rosy cheeks.
you and jess both cheer on the mclaren cars, which you have to admit, was one of the weirdest things about the full experience. you couldn't help but let your eyes wander to the red of the ferrari cars every now and then. you will your eyes to shift in the opposite direction every time. no way was anyone catching you lacking today, not on jess' watch that was for sure.
lando and oscar end up both on the podium so it was a great finish for the papaya team. oscar comes over with lando this time, after the podium and they both thank you and jess for coming again and this time you give them both swety, champagne covered hugs, unaware of the eyes peering into your soul.
said boy catches you on your way out, again when you're alone while jess makes a quick pitstop at the bathroom. you were hanging around across the hall, waiting for her to come out.
"hey, didn't know you still came to races." charles tries to make casual conversation with you. like the months you two were together didn't mean anything and like he hadn't just used you as a player in his game when you were hammered last month. this man has no dignity you swear. you had thought a few nights after the night out at the club that night.
"oscar asked me." you take a page out if jess' book and stick to the blunt responses. you knew you had moved on from the boy in front of you because as soon as he made his way over you weren't nervous or excited, you were annoyed. it made you feel happy and a little healed. charles seems surprised at your bluntness so he cuts to the chase.
"i miss you." he utters your name. "i miss you so much. i keep dreaming about us, and every morning, it feels like I've lost you all over again." you don't even look in his eyes to see if he's telling the truth. you used to be able to read him for filth, like he was your favourite book that you had read and re-read a million times, a book you had scribbled all your thoughts onto. now he just feels like a book you used to love when you were a child and as much as it helped shape you into the person you are now, you have new favourites now, that you read over and over and write inside, for someone else to read your thoughts and feelings.
you do though, see it hitting charles that you won't let him walk all over the top of you anymore. you see it register on his face and he makes a move to leave you be. maybe the you from a few weeks ago would've cried at the thought of this happening but whatever has happened to you in the past couple week has helped you grow mentally and helped you know your worth. charles walks away without so much as a goodbye, and you hope it kills him.
＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*Start Of Something New˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
Twinkle Towne (An F1 X High School Musical AU!)
♥ my masterlist!
♥ pairing: george russell x fem!reader, platonic!rest of grid x reader
♥ synopsis: New years parties, chalets and karaoke... Is this the start of something new for up-and-coming driver George Russell and maths genius Y/N L/N?
♥ warnings: nada, no warnings here bbys
♥ a/n: tysm for all your amazing love, support and kindness on my work! all the likes and kind reblogs and convos I have with you all over asks mean so so much to me, and im glad people are enjoying my work! TT is a purely self indulgent fic, but I hope you'll grow to love her as much as I do! Enjoy the show!
You had always hated these FIA New Years parties, and this year was NO exception. Every year it was the same old chalet in the alps, with the same old music and the same old countdowns to the new year with a load of young drivers. You weren’t even a driver yourself, it just happened that your father, Sebastian Vettel, was like the it girl of driving, so you basically HAD to go to all these parties.
“Leibe, please, at least try and have some fun” your father begged you as he walked you down the hallway to the party for under 18’s. You huffed a little, and felt grateful you’d managed to smuggle a copy of your favourite book in that little baguette bag slung from your shoulder. “You never know, maybe you will meet someone at this party, I know Lew-” You cut your father off with a small laugh and smile “I’ll try Vati, but I’m not going to go about looking for one of your friend’s cute sons! I have to focus on school if I’m going to go to Princeton!” You cracked a glowy smile at your father and he laughed back, smoothing your hair down with his hands, before giving you a stern look. “Y/N, hand the book over.” You pouted, about to attempt a denial, but when Seb raised his eyebrow, you relented and handed your copy of ‘My Brilliant Friend’ over to your dad, as he kissed your forehead and headed off to the party.
Meanwhile, over at the karting track nearby, George was whizzing around in his coach Lewis’ old go-kart, with Lewis cheering him on from near where the pitwall usually was. “WHOO! GO RUSSELL! WHAT A LAP KIDDO!!” he claps as the younger boy pulled up to the finish line, detaching the steering wheel so he could jump out. As he ran and hi-fived his coach, a sharp cough filled the air. Valtteri, Lewis’ old teammate and the other man on this trip with them, was stood with his arms folded and a stern expression on his face. “Boys, it is New Years Eve, please can you stop training for one evening and go shower up?” He sighed, walking over to Lewis “Why are you all suited and booted, Bottas?” Lewis laughed, and Valterri gave the boys a little spin “The party, Lewis. George, there’s a kids party downstairs as well!” George scrunched his face up at the Finnish man, now with his blue helmet tucked under a lanky arm.”Young adult party” he corrected himself with a sigh, looking between both Lewis and George. “We didn’t fly all this way for you guys to race the whole time. We can do that at home.” Both the Mercedes boys hung their heads and nodded, walking off to their chalet to get cleaned up for parties they didn’t want to be at.
At the kids young adults party, cheesy pop music blared over the speakers as teens from all over the racing series played games, talked, laughed and ate. Esteban and Pierre were arguing over a foosball table, Yuki was eating every sandwich he could find, and Lando was DJing a load of karaoke over a headset and mic in his DJ merch. Kimi and Ollie, two Formula 2 drivers, had just finished up a duet of “I Wanna Dance With Somebody’ by Whitney Houston, as the crowd clapped. You ignored the roar of the music and laughed, sat on a couch, watching everything unfold in front of you, while pulling the blue cardigan your Vati had bought for you up over your shoulders, ready to make your escape. “Not bad for a couple of drivers, huh?” Lando hollered, messing with his lighting rig a little.
“Now, who’s gonna rock the house next next?” he asked, jumping up on a small box to scan the room better, as you struggled to think what to do, and he moved his light towards the doorway of the room. George quickly covered his face with his arm, yet felt himself dragged by another driver up to a small stage, and having a microphone thrust into his hands. You were dragged up too, a microphone flung at you, almost slipping out of your sweaty hands. How on earth could this happen to you!? Or this awfully attractive boy you’re now stood next toYou looked up at the taller man, both confused as each other, the sheen of teenage awkwardness covering both of your foreheads.
“Y’know, you guys might thank me for this later” Lando winks, to the reception of an unimpressed you and George. He slinks back behind the DJ rig and sighs “Or not…” and starts the track. You and the boy stare at each other as the opening piano notes play. You were more so staring at those beautiful blue eyes, connecting the freckles across his nose like constellations, looking at his perfectly formed cupids bow, when all of a sudden-
“Living in my own world
Didn't understand
That anything can happen
When you take a chance”
Oh boy, he has the face and voice of an angel. You made the decision quick and pulled the microphone to your lips ready for your part. There went nothing…
“I never believed in What I couldn't see
I never opened my heart (Oh)
To all the possibilities”
George felt his heart skip beats, the sound of his pulse rushing through his ears and the blood into his face. Thump-thump, thump-thump. Not only did this random girl he’d been pulled into some sort of karaoke fanfiction with LOOK like a princess, but she had the most beautiful voice and the confidence to actually sing with him. He had never believed in love at first sight, but he thought, perhaps love at first note could be real.
“I know that something has changed
Never felt this way, and right here tonight
This could be the start of something new
It feels so right to be here with you (oh)
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart (feel in my heart)
The start of something new”
You loosed up a little, taking the claw clip out of your hair and letting it flow freely, framing your face and making George flush a baby pink in the cheeks.
Thump-thump, thump-thump
His pulse quickened as you moved closer, hips gently swaying to the sweet sound of your harmonies, and he tried to keep himself in check as the song progressed.
“Now who'd have ever thought that
We'd both be here tonight
And the world looks so much brighter
With you by my side
I know that something has changed
Never felt this way
I know it for real”
You just glowed as you sung, sort of enjoying the anonymity of no one in the room seeming to recognise you, despite your father’s name. And George could tell you glowed, he spent all your solo parts scanning your frame, to find not a single flaw in his eyes. You were some sort of fairytale princess, singing him these sweet siren songs and making him forget the stress of the track, of Coach Hamilton’s emphasis on the upcoming races, and of his entire career as a racer.
It was you. him, and the music.
“This could be the start of something new
It feels so right to be here with you (oh)
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart
The start of something new”
And unbeknownst to him, you felt the same. No more swirling equations in your head, no more maths tests or Princeton or college entrance papers. Just this mysterious young man with the floppy curtains, slender frame, and glassiest blue eyes. And his voice, dulcet and warm, like ginger and honey tea on a winter’s morning. You pondered Lando’s words in your head:
“Y’know, you guys might thank me for this later”
And thought, maybe he was right. Maybe you would.
“I never knew that it could happen till it happened to me
I didn't know it before
But now it's easy to see
It's the start of something new
It feels so right to be here with you
And now looking in your eyes I feel in my heart
That it's the start of something new
It feels so right to be here with you
And now looking in your eyes I feel in my heart
The start of something new (The start of something new)
The start of something new”
The music faded out as you and George stood looking into each other's eyes, a cheer spreading across the room, accompanied by the sound of claps and hollers from the crowd of teens. He smiled, and ran his hand through his hair “George. And you?” You smile back, blinking softly and quietly responding “Y/N”
You both found yourself sat outside after a while, escaping the music an the dancing just before midnight, “You were AMAZING Y/N!” The Brit, as you had learned from the accent, enthused. “You gotta be a singer, surely?” You chuckle, and follow his lead, guided by his soft hands, to a balcony “Only church choir, and even then I almost fainted!” The Brit laughed, and blushed at the gentle grip of your hand, feeling the edge of your nail dig into his vein ever so slightly. “Well, you were amazing, Y/N” He chirps, standing with you, overlooking the snowy mountains to the tune of faded voices, and the low whirr of the ski lift in the distance.
As you both looked over the balcony, George turned and grabbed his phone out of his pocket, still talking as he did so “So, Y/N, I was wondering if I could get your numb-” He trailed off as he looked up, only to realise you had vanished while he was pulling his phone out. Not that you’d wanted to, of course. But you’d promised your father you’d be back in the cabin by midnight, so you’d slinked away while George was distracted, the thought of your new school year buzzing in your mind. Besides, it’s not like you’d see the handsome stranger again.
Right?
“Think you're escaping and run into yourself. Longest way round is the shortest way home.”
― James Joyce, quote from Ulysses
I believe in the power of knowledge, which comes from books. You want to learn something? Read.
Bookstore owner, Joan of Arcadia (via colemeanitch)
I’d expand this, as there is also art and discussion and life and other experiences, but yeah--these things come from other places and by putting yourself out there in a way that will get you more understanding of the situation and books are amazing for this, but sometimes a book or a just-fact book isn’t the right way either
Leaving
When I was three
I met a boy
He was my brother, just from another family
We split at 12 and now I look at him, and he looks at me,
Like we are strangers
When I was a little older
I didn’t know how to play solitaire
Pop pops would tell me what cards were “no good”
And without him not neglecting me as memere did, my world has grown colder
I wonder with no way of knowing what he was truly like in all of his strength
When I became a teenager I like to read I like to learn
My aunt taught me, about cancer
She asked me the questions that I still need
But now I only get asked about school or if I have finally caught a boyfriend
About two months after she left
So did my boyfriend and
He was a fuckboy
He was a theft
But I was so in love
When I got dumped
For another girl, I wrote a poem and sent it to him
Someone said that I pulled a Taylor Swift
I took that as a compliment even with my feelings lumped
Then I just never saw that person again and I still think of her and how she saved me from my nightmares
And you think
That you leaving is hard?
Nah man, I've gotten pretty used to this thang and I'm not mad or sad
I'm not scared to blink
Because in life people come and people go like waves in the sea
If you are #diabetic #patient then should #avoid these #20 #food. http://dailylifedose.com/types-of-diabetes-and-20-foods-to-avoid-in-diabetes/ #healthylife is #betterlife #takecare of #health #daily #exercise must. But need to know which #exercise should avoid to be fit. #Read dailylifedose.com #facebook #twitter #pinterest #fitness #healthyeat #😇
ESP || A veces los proyectos no salen como uno espera... pero de ello pueden salir resultados inesperados! Esta ilustración fue descartada para formar parte de un proyecto de cuatro ilustraciones sobre el placer de leer, que aun está en el horno y no os puedo enseñar. Aunque fue descartada cuando ya estaba acabada, decidí que me gustaba demasiado para dejarla arrinconada y olvidada en una carpeta. El principal problema fue que el formato inicial era en forma de cruz, pero un par de pájaros, flores y mariposas solucionaron el problema! Me encanta leer!! Un libro puede trasladarnos a cualquier lugar del mundo o del universo! Hacernos crecer como una planta, tomar una siesta dentro de una flor, volar como un pájaro, visitar castillos encantados, … Como curiosidad: todos los pájaros que aparecen en esta ilustración son migratorios igual que la mariposa monarca que admira los edelweiss! Para mi el encanto de esta ilustración son todos los pequeños detalles y personajes que tiene, ya iré colgando los detalles para que podáis disfrutarlos mejor!
ENG || Sometimes projects don’t go as expected ... but awesome results may come out from unexpected situations! This illustration at first was made to be part of a project that is still in the oven and I can’t show you yet, consisting of four illustrations about the pleasure of reading. But unfortunately this illustration was rejected and replaced for another. Although it was discarded when it was completely finished, I decided that I loved it too much to leave it cornered and forgotten in a folder. The main problem was that the initial format was cross-shaped and I didn’t liked it very much for a print, but a couple of birds, flowers and butterflies solved the problem! I really love reading!! A book can transport us anywhere in the world or the universe! It can make us grow like a plant, take a nap inside a flower, fly like a bird, visit enchanted castles, and infinite different things more ... As a curiosity: all the birds that appear in this illustration are migratory just like the monarch butterfly near the edelweiss! For me the beauty of this illustration resides in all the little details and characters that it has. I will be posting some close ups so you can enjoy them better!
CAT || A vegades els projectes no surten com un espera ... però d'això poden sortir resultats realment inesperats! Aquesta il·lustració va ser descartada per formar part d'un projecte de quatre il·lustracions sobre el plaer de llegir, el qual encara està al forn i no us puc ensenyar. Encara que va ser descartada quan ja estava totalment acabada, vaig decidir que m'agradava massa per deixar-la arraconada i oblidada en una carpeta. El principal problema va ser que el format inicial era en forma de creu i això no em feia el pes com a format per a una làmina o quadre, però un parell d'ocells, flors i papallones van solucionar el problema! M'encanta llegir!! Un llibre pot traslladar-nos a qualsevol lloc de món o de l'univers! Fer-nos créixer com una planta, prendre una migdiada entre els pètals i els estams d’una flor, volar com un ocell, visitar castells encantats, i milers de coses més... Com a curiositat: tots els ocells que apareixen en aquesta il·lustració són migratoris igual que la papallona monarca que admira els edelweiss! Per a mi l'encant d'aquesta il·lustració són tots els petits detalls i personatges que té. Ja aniré penjant primers plans perquè pugueu gaudir-los millor!
Para leer en este 2014
In honor of #readwomen2014 – an effort to equalize the gender imbalance in our collective reading habits – here are 14 fantastic, timeless reads by women:
Joan Didion on self-respect
Susan Sontag on photography as aesthetic consumerism and a form of modern violence
Virginia Woolf on the creative benefits of keeping a diary
Annie Dillard on presence over productivity
Helen Keller on optimism
Alexandra Horowitz on the blinders of attention
Anaïs Nin on why emotional excess is essential to creativity
Hannah Arendt on how bureaucracy fuels violence
Jennifer Finney Boylan on what it’s like to be a transgender parent
Anissa Ramirez on saving science education
Jeanette Winterson on adoption and how we use storytelling to save ourselves
Dani Shapiro on the pleasures and perils of the creative life
Virginia Woolf on how to read a book
Susan Sontag on literature and freedom
Artwork above by Joanna Walsh
heyyy queen i js saw your workss & idk if u take requests but could you do a really REALLY obsessive eren with black readerrr?? 😭😭 your writing is really phenomenal too queen keep goinggg
You
Summary: You were his the moment he saw you. To you, it was fate that you met Eren, but to him? To him, everything was completely designed and manipulated by him. ۶ৎ Eren x black fem reader ۶ৎ
Context: Slight violence (Not to reader), reader is a single mother, stalking, obsessed Eren, emotional manipulation, unprotected sex, spying, missionary, doggy, cunnalings, oblivious reader, stripper, baby trapping
Babble; Hey girl, hope you like it x
Word count — 6.7k
The first time Eren saw you, he wasn’t even supposed to be there.
It was Connie’s birthday, a half-assed plan that led to a night full of neon lights, bass-heavy music, and the scent of liquor clinging to sweat-slicked skin. He wasn’t interested in the celebration, not really. But then, you walked onto the stage, and he lost the ability to focus on anything else.
You weren’t looking at him—you weren’t looking at anyone in particular—but that didn’t matter. Because from that moment on, you belonged to him.
He hadn’t planned on this. He wasn’t the kind of man to get distracted, let alone obsessed. But there you were, completely unaware that you had just changed the course of his life.
He came back the next night. And the next. And the next.
It’s pathetic—he knows that—but obsession is an ugly thing.
But Eren didn't mind being ugly for you.
At first, it was just about seeing you, memorising the way your body moved, watching the way other men watched you. But then, curiosity turned into something deeper, something darker.
Eren didn’t just want to watch you anymore. He wanted to know you.
So, he followed you home one night. Not too close, just enough to see where you lived. A small apartment on the outskirts of town, tucked between a laundromat and a corner store. He stayed outside for hours, wondering what you were doing inside. If you were alone. If you were thinking about him the way he thought about you.
Then he started digging.
He found out your real name, not just the stage one. Learned where you went to school, who your friends were. And then, one day, as he sat parked outside your apartment, he saw something that made his stomach twist.
A child.
A little girl, no older than three, holding your hand as you walked her up the steps.
Eren had never considered that you had something—someone—waiting for you. The thought made his blood run hot, his jaw tightening with something ugly and possessive.
But it didn’t change anything.
It just meant he had more to protect.
You huffed as you finally stepped off stage, rolling your shoulders to shake off the weight of another long shift. The night had been a successful one—money rained, hands reached, and men gawked. Same as always.
Sometimes, you hated yourself for it. Stripping for men who were married, engaged, or just too pathetic to go home to their girlfriends. Men who would rather throw money at you for a fleeting fantasy than put in the effort to love the women waiting for them.
But then, you remembered why you did it.
Your phone lit up the second you unlocked it, and the first thing you saw was a picture of your daughter grinning at the camera. A message from your sister followed right after.
She’s been out for hours; don’t worry, you can come get her in the morning.
You smiled, relief easing the tightness in your chest. You were a single mother, juggling work and school, and this was how you kept food on the table. Your friend Historia had been the one to convince you to try it, going on and on about the rich men who threw money at her just to watch her dance.
It was supposed to be temporary. A couple of nights, at most. But then nights turned into weeks, and weeks into months, and now you were one of the regulars' favorites.
Your gaze flickered down to the cash buried at your feet. You and the other girls were already counting your earnings for the night. Lately, you'd been raking in more than usual—not that you were complaining.
“And there you have it, folks—the best dancer out there,” Historia teased, nudging you with her shoulder.
You giggled, shoving her back. “Oh, come off it. There was a bachelor party tonight, and I did a lot of lap dances. It’s probably all from that.”
Historia hummed knowingly, looping her arm with yours as you both made your way out of the club. The bouncer nodded as you passed, and the two of you stepped into the cool night air, the scent of cigarette smoke and lingering cologne still clinging to your skin.
“I still don’t get why you park so far away,” you mused. “You do know we have parking, right?”
Historia scoffed. “Yeah, and if a guy sees what car I drive, he’ll be waiting for a ‘private lesson.’ I am not about to go to jail for killing some dude who can’t take no for an answer.”
You laughed, shaking your head as you walked her to her car. The streetlights flickered above you, casting shadows across the pavement.
By the time you started your own walk home, exhaustion clung to your bones, making every step heavier than the last. The streets were nearly empty, the silence stretching too thin. That was when you heard them.
Footsteps.
Your stomach twisted. You didn’t want to turn around, didn’t want to confirm what you already knew. But the panic creeping up your spine made your breath hitch, your fingers curling around the strap of your purse.
Before you could move, another set of footsteps cut through the silence.
A figure stepped between you and whoever had been following—a man, broad-shouldered, with long brown hair and piercing green eyes. He didn’t even look at you at first, just over his shoulder, gaze sharp and assessing.
Then, he turned, expression softening.
“You alright?” His voice was smooth, calm.
You swallowed, trying to steady your breathing. “I—I think that guy—”
“He’s gone now.” He offered you a reassuring smile. “You should be careful walking alone this late.”
Relief flooded through you, making your knees weak. “Yeah. Thank you.”
“Let me walk you home,” he said easily, like it was the most natural thing in the world. “Just to be safe.”
You hesitated. You didn’t know him. But something about him felt… safe. Like you could trust him.
So, you let him.
Because the first time you met Eren Yeager, the alarm bells were silent.
He walked half a step behind you, just close enough that you could feel the quiet reassurance of his presence. Every now and then, your eyes flickered toward him, taking in the way the streetlights cast shadows across his sharp features. He was handsome—undeniably so—but there was something else about him, something that made your pulse stutter in a way you couldn’t quite place.
“I’m Eren, by the way.” He glanced at you, waiting for your name in return.
You hesitated for only a moment before offering it, watching as his lips curled into a slow, pleased smile. He already knew it, of course. Had whispered it to himself more times than he could count, tracing the syllables in his mind like a prayer.
“It suits you,” he murmured.
You laughed softly, tucking a loose curl behind your ear. “Yeah? What’s that supposed to mean?”
Eren shrugged, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Just… you seem like the type of person who makes a name their own.”
You huffed, shaking your head. “That’s oddly poetic for someone who just scared off a creep.”
A small chuckle left him, effortless and warm. “What can I say? I contain multitudes.”
The two of you walked in comfortable silence for a few blocks. He let you set the pace, let you feel like you had control of the situation—like this was just a chance encounter, a stroke of luck on an otherwise unsettling night.
And you believed it.
That was the best part.
“Here’s me.” You gestured toward your building, already fishing out your keys. “Thanks again for, y’know… all of that.”
Eren tilted his head, expression unreadable. “You don’t have to thank me. Just be safe, alright?”
There was something so genuine in the way he said it that you felt a pang of guilt for doubting him at all. You nodded, smiling as you stepped inside, giving him one last glance before the door shut behind you.
Eren didn’t move right away.
Instead, he watched as the light in your window flickered on, his fingers twitching at his sides. He could see the faint silhouette of you moving inside, hear the faint sound of your voice when you called your sister to check on your daughter.
It took everything in him not to stay there all night.
But he didn’t have to.
Because this was just the beginning.
And soon enough, you wouldn’t just see him as a stranger in the night.
You’d see him as exactly what he was—an irreplaceable part of your life.
Eren remembers when he saw you again by 'coincidence'. It was your local farmers market; the surprise was evident on your face, but he remembered the way your eyes shifted to him, the way he intrigued you.
"Fancy seeing you again." His voice was smooth, casual, but there was a flicker of something deeper in his expression—something unreadable.
You bit your lip to keep from smiling too wide. As pathetic as it sounded, you hadn’t stopped thinking about him. And how could you? Even now, dressed down in a grey tracksuit with his long hair tied back, he looked like he’d stepped out of a damn daydream.
"This is the closest farmers market to me, which I’m grateful for because of her." You gestured to your daughter, still knocked out in the shopping cart.
Eren’s gaze softened, something deep and unshakable tightening in his chest. She was so small, so peaceful—completely unaware of the man staring at her like she already belonged to him.
“She’s adorable,” he murmured, stepping closer. “Probably keeps you up all hours, huh?”
You huffed a tired laugh. “You have no idea.”
Eren hummed, but his mind was already somewhere else—picturing a morning where he’d wake up next to you, your daughter climbing into bed between you both, babbling about something only a toddler could make sense of. The thought was dangerous, intoxicating.
You grabbed a carton of strawberries, setting them in the cart before glancing at him. “So, you cook?”
A small smirk tugged at his lips. “Yeah, I like to.”
"That's impressive. A man that looks like you and can cook? You're a rare breed.”
Eren chuckled, but his gaze darkened slightly. You had no idea just how rare he was. No idea that he wouldn’t let you find anyone else like him—because you were his, even if you didn’t know it yet.
"Well," he shrugged, "if you ever want a home-cooked meal, I’d be happy to make you something."
You hesitated, surprised by the offer. “Oh, that’s really sweet, but—”
“No pressure,” Eren cut in smoothly. “Just putting it out there.”
You chewed on your bottom lip before glancing at your sleeping daughter. The thought of a meal you didn’t have to cook yourself was tempting—almost too tempting. But you barely knew him.
Still, the idea of seeing him again made your stomach flutter.
"I'll think about it," you teased, throwing him a look.
His smirk widened slightly. "That’s all I ask."
It hadn't taken long for you to text Eren, agreeing to your date. Not that he was surprised. Now here he was, standing outside your apartment, gaze softening as he looked over you. His head slightly tilted, taking in the sight of you.
"You look beautiful." He watched as you bit your lip, trying to hide the smile on your face as you let him in.
His gaze swept across your apartment—not out of curiosity, but habit.
Eren hadn't waited that long before he was letting himself into your apartment.
Not that he would call it breaking and entering.
No, Eren simply needed to make sure you were safe, that you and your daughter had a good place to live.
That’s what he told himself as he moved through your home like it was his own.
He had touched everything. Gone through your drawers, flipped through your mail, opened your fridge just to see what you had stocked.
He’d smoothed his hands over the bedsheets you slept in, pressed his fingers against the lace underwear folded neatly in your dresser.
And as he went, he left little pieces of himself behind.
Tiny cameras, nestled so perfectly in the corners of your living room, your bedroom, your bathroom.
Little windows into your life, allowing him to watch you at any moment.
He snapped out of his memory as he watched you move across the room. His eyes caught sight of your daughter’s toys neatly stacked in a corner, the small pink blanket draped over the couch—her little world, nestled safely inside his.
He brought his attention back to you, holding up the bag of food.
“I cooked enough for all of us,” he said. “Hope you don’t mind.”
Your eyes widened slightly before they softened with something warm.
“You actually cooked? Thought we'd just order takeout.”
Eren smirked. “Of course. Have to keep up my first impressions.”
You laughed, shaking your head as you led him to the kitchen.
Dinner went smoothly—better than he had expected.
Your daughter adored him, just as he knew she would.
She clung to him quickly, her giggles filling the apartment as he played along with her little games, asking about her stuffed animals like they were old friends.
And you—
You watched him.
You watched the way he handled her with ease, the way he cut her food into tiny pieces without a second thought, the way he was patient, gentle, attentive.
Like he had always been meant to be here.
When bedtime rolled around, you kissed your daughter goodnight and tucked her in, leaving just the two of you in the dim glow of the living room.
The moment stretched.
Neither of you moved to fill it.
Eren leaned back into the couch, one arm draped lazily over the backrest, his gaze locked on you.
Your lips parted slightly; his gaze darkened as he watched your tongue poke out and wet your lips. Fuck, it was taking everything in him but you surprised him, you kissed him first.
It was hesitant at first, uncertain, but Eren felt the moment your body melted into his, the moment hesitation turned into something deeper.
Something desperate.
He pulled you closer, fingers slipping beneath the hem of your top, brushing against your bare skin.
A sharp inhale left you, your hands fisting in his hoodie as his tongue flicked against yours, deepening the kiss.
You let out a soft, breathy moan—fuck.
He needed to hear it again.
He wanted to hear it on loop, playing through the hidden speakers of his mind while he watched you over and over and over—
But then, suddenly, you pulled back.
Your face flushed as your eyes darted anywhere but him.
Eren’s jaw clenched as he watched you force yourself to put space between you.
"I-I haven't had a date in a very long time and I don't wanna fuck it up.”
His voice was smooth, controlled. “You're not gonna fuck it up mama, promise.”
You swallowed still avoiding his gaze.
But he reached for you again, cupping your chin, tilting your face back toward him.
He kissed you—soft this time, slow and lingering, like he was sealing something in place.
“I’d love to take you out again.” He murmured against your lips
You let out a breathless laugh, odding. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
And just like that, he had you.
Right where he wanted.
Eren had taken you out again, and each time, he could see how deep your affection for him had grown. It hadn’t even been a full month since you started dating, but he could already feel the way you leaned on him, the way you reached for him in subtle ways.
The goodnight texts. The way you never let too many hours pass without messaging him. How you let him drop you off and pick you up from work without protest now.
At first, you had hesitated when he offered to pick you up. He saw the uncertainty in your eyes, the way your lips parted as if you wanted to say something but weren’t sure how. You were scared—afraid to tell him what you actually did for a living.
As if he didn’t already know.
But when you finally admitted it, the relief on your face was instant. His answer had been simple, easy.
"I don’t care."
And from that night forward, the bouncers got used to his face.
Your daughter adored him too. It didn’t take long for her to start calling him “Daddy Eren,” and something primal settled deep inside of him the first time he heard it. He was already so intertwined in your life, but hearing it from her tiny mouth, seeing the way she clung to him when he dropped her off at daycare, the way she begged for bedtime stories whenever he was over—it solidified something in him.
He belonged here.
And you didn’t even realize just how permanent he had made himself.
The buzzing of his phone pulled him from his thoughts, and his eyes darkened when he saw the picture you’d sent him.
A short, tight purple dress clung to your body like a second skin, hugging every curve. Your blonde braids that matched your skin tone perfectly, framed your face, accentuating the pout on your full lips as you posed just right.
Can’t wait to see you.
Fuck.
Eren exhaled sharply through his nose, already hard beneath his jeans. You had been loosening up over the past few weeks, your touches lingering longer, your kisses more desperate. Heavy petting and long make-out sessions had left him on the verge of ruining himself more than once.
He palmed himself roughly, groaning lowly as he brought your panties to his nose.
He had been in your apartment for a while now—long enough that your scent surrounded him, sweet and intoxicating. It clung to your couch cushions, the blankets draped over the side of your bed. His fingers ghosted over your belongings like a lover’s touch, reverent and possessive.
He remembered the first time he found your underwear. Delicate lace. Soft cotton. Colors he knew contrasted beautifully against your warm, deep skin.
The first time he rubbed the fabric between his fingers, then against his cheek.
The first time he brought them to his nose, inhaling you—raw, intimate, intoxicating. It had sent a shiver down his spine, his body going taut with need.
Just like now.
He exhaled sharply, stuffing your panties into his pocket before pulling himself together. He had to pick you up soon.
The drive to the club was automatic, muscle memory. He was there before your shift had ended, already seated in his usual dark corner.
He nursed a drink he never touched, eyes locked onto you.
He loved watching you work—loved the slow, teasing roll of your hips, the way you commanded the stage. He loved watching men reach for you only to be swerved, their greedy hands left empty.
Until he showed up.
Older. Cocky. Entitled.
Eren saw it the second the man got too close. You were used to this, flashing a polite smile as you placed a gentle hand on his chest to keep your distance. But he didn’t get the hint. He leaned in too far, whispered something in your ear.
You tensed—just for a second—before stepping back with a laugh that didn’t quite reach your eyes.
Eren knew that laugh.
It was the one you used when you were uncomfortable.
His vision went red.
By the time he realised he had moved, he was already following the man.
The alley was dark, secluded.
No one saw Eren slip in behind him.
No one heard the struggle, the way the man choked on his own screams as Eren’s fingers crushed his throat, stealing the breath from his lungs.
No one noticed when he left the alleyway alone.
And when he returned, you were just finishing up, completely unaware that the man who had made you uncomfortable would never be coming back.
You smiled when you saw him, instantly walking into his arms. His place. Where you belonged.
“Hey, baby,” you murmured, voice sweet and warm, completely oblivious to the blood still drying beneath his nails. “Ready to go?”
Eren pressed a kiss to the top of your head, inhaling deeply, his fingers flexing around your waist.
“Always.”
Eren watched as you entered your apartment, he hadn't seen you in a couple of days. You had to spend the weekend with your mum and it was driving him nuts that he didn't have a visual on you.
Well, you did FaceTime and text him many times but he missed watching you move naturally.
But now his skin came alive as you entered the apartment. He remembers you telling him that you were gonna drop your daughter off at daycare before coming home.
The camera feed followed your every step as you dropped your bag by the door and headed straight for the fridge. Probably thirsty from the drive back. You sighed when you pulled open a stack of mail—bills, most likely. His jaw clenched at the thought. He had more than enough to take care of you. It was only a matter of time before he convinced you to let him.
The cameras shifted as you made your way to your bedroom, you phone steady in your palm but the minute you opened your bedroom door you froze.
His brows furrowed as he watched the stillness of your body. Your hands begin to shake as you fumble with your phone and run back into the living room.
Eren felt the buzz of his phone, his eyes darting to the caller before he shifted back to his computer.
“Hey, baby,” he greeted smoothly, as if he wasn’t watching you.
“Eren.” Your voice was shaky, laced with fear. “I—I just got home, and my bedroom window was open.”
His grip tightened around his phone. He knew you closed your windows when you weren't home, and he forgot to close it last night after he left.
“Are you sure you didn’t just forget to close it?” He kept his tone even, already anticipating your response.
“No, I know I locked it, I always lock it when I'm not home.” You insisted. “I’m freaking out. What if someone was in here? What if—”
“Hey, hey,” he interrupted, his voice turning soothing. “It’s okay. I’m coming over right now.”
You exhaled, the sound of relief evident through the phone. “I just… I need you Ren."
He could feel the blood in his ears, the softness of your voice went straight to his cock. He continued to speak to you, his car keys rattling in his hands as he raced to his car.
He could hear the way your breathing elevated; he could now hear the busyness of your street, knowing you stepped outside rather than to wait inside with a possible 'intruder'.
The moment he pulled up outside your apartment, his eyes immediately found you. You stood just outside the entrance, arms wrapped around you, shifting anxiously on your feet. The sight made something dark and possessive coil in his chest.
He stepped out of the car, and the second your eyes met his, you hurried over. Without a word, you buried yourself in his arms, clutching at his hoodie like it was the only thing keeping you grounded.
Eren exhaled slowly, wrapping himself around you, his hand smoothing over the curve of your back. “I’m here,” he murmured, kissing your hair. “You’re okay.”
You nodded against his chest, but your grip didn’t loosen. “I just… I couldn’t sit in there alone.”
His heart hammered, his lips twitching into the smallest smirk over your head.
“Let’s go inside,” he said, guiding you toward the door. “I’ll check everything.”
You didn’t let go of him as he unlocked the door, staying close behind as he stepped inside first. He moved through your apartment with careful ease, playing the part of the protective boyfriend while discreetly checking for his own mistakes.
The cameras were still perfectly hidden. The small traces he’d left—your underwear he had pocketed, the slight shift in your blankets—none of it was noticeable. But the window. That was his only slip-up. He wouldn’t make that mistake again.
Eren double-checked every lock, every window, making a show of it just for you. He even peeked into your closet, your bathroom, anywhere an intruder might be hiding.
Finally, he turned to you, his expression soft, reassuring. “All clear, baby,” he murmured, brushing his fingers along your arm. “No one’s here.”
Your shoulders sagged with relief, your lips parting as you took a shaky breath. “Thank you.”
He could still see the uncertainty in your eyes; he didn't even have to say much, his hands steady against your waist as he eased you down. You were still trembling slightly, fingers toying with the hem of your shirt as you tried to steady your breathing
“I feel so stupid,” you murmured, as the movie continued “I probably overreacted. It was just a window, and nothing’s missing. I just—”
Eren turned to you, his hands palming the side of your face as he cut off your self-doubt with a firm look. “Don’t do that,” he said, voice low, unwavering. “You were scared. You did the right thing calling me.”
Your lips pressed together, eyes flickering with uncertainty. “Yeah, but—”
“No ‘but,’” he interrupted smoothly, his hands finding yours, thumbs brushing along your knuckles. “If you ever feel unsafe, you call me. Always. I don’t care what time it is, where I am—I’ll be here whenever you need me.”
Your breath hitched, your fingers tightening around his instinctively. He meant it. You could see it in the way he looked at you, the way he held you, the way he always showed up.
You leaned forward before you could second-guess yourself, pressing a soft, lingering kiss against his lips. Eren inhaled sharply, but he didn’t hesitate—his hands cupped your face instantly, deepening the kiss as his thumbs stroked your cheeks.
Your body relaxed against him, the fear from earlier melting away as warmth spread through you. Eren’s lips were slow, deliberate, savoring every second of your mouth against his.
But then you shifted, your legs parting slightly, and he felt the heat of your body through your shorts. A low, quiet groan rumbled from his throat, and his grip tightened, fingers sliding to the back of your neck.
The kiss grew heavier, needier, his tongue slipping past your lips as he guided you back against the couch. His body hovered over yours, one hand gripping the back of the couch while the other ghosted down your thigh.
“Tell me to stop,” he murmured against your lips, voice strained, heated.
But you didn’t. Instead, your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him back down, pressing your body flush against his.
Eren’s lips trailed down your jaw, hot and eager, teeth grazing your pulse as his hands found the hem of your shirt. His fingers slipped beneath the fabric, palms sliding against your soft skin as he pushed it higher—exposing more of you.
His breath was heavy against your neck, his body tensed with restraint. “You have no idea how much I missed you,” he murmured, voice thick with need.
His words sent a shiver down your spine, heat pooling between your thighs as his hands wandered higher, you bit your lip, arching into his touch.
“Then touch me,” you whispered.
Eren growled low in his throat, his patience snapping as his hands gripped your thighs, parting them effortlessly. His mouth found yours again, lips hungry, desperate, as he settled between your legs.
His hands slipped under your shirt fully, his rough palms skimming up the smooth skin of your stomach. He pushed the fabric higher, stopping just below your chest, his lips never leaving yours as he swallowed every soft sound you made.
You gasped when his fingers traced the underside of your breasts, his touch slow, teasing—driving you insane.
“Eren,” you breathed, impatience seeping into your voice.
He pulled back slightly, his green eyes dark with want as they flickered down to your parted lips, your heaving chest, the way your thighs instinctively clenched around his hips. His restraint was hanging by a thread.
“You don’t know what you do to me,” he murmured, his voice rough as his hands squeezed your waist, thumbs stroking your skin like he was trying to memorize every inch of you.
You shivered, arching into his touch. “Then show me.”
He surged forward, lips claiming yours in a kiss that was all hunger, all need. His hands finally moved, pushing your shirt up and over your head, tossing it to the floor without a second thought.
His breath hitched when he took you in, eyes raking over your bare skin like he was committing the sight to memory. “Fuck,” he muttered, his hands finding your thighs again, parting them wider as he pressed his hips against yours.
You felt all of him. Hard, heavy, and straining against his jeans. The friction sent a spark of heat up your spine, and you let out a soft whimper that made Eren curse under his breath.
“Mama,” he growled, leaning down to press hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck. He nipped at your skin, his tongue soothing over every mark, his hands gripping your waist like he was trying to ground himself.
His mouth traveled lower, over the curve of your breasts, his hands slipping beneath the band of your shorts. His fingers toyed with the fabric.
You squirmed beneath him. “Eren, please,” you whispered, your nails digging into his shoulders.
Eren let out a strained chuckle, his breath hot against your skin as he murmured, “So impatient.” But he was just as desperate. His hands yanked down your shorts in one swift motion, leaving you bare beneath him.
His eyes darkened, his tongue swiping over his lips as he took you in. “Fuck, baby,” he groaned, his fingers tracing the inside of your thigh. “You’re so beautiful.”
You whimpered, heat pooling in your stomach as he spread your legs wider, his body shifting lower.
“Let me taste you,” he rasped, his breath ghosting over your most sensitive spot. “I need to taste you.”
Before you could respond, his mouth was on you, and all coherent thoughts disappeared.
Eren groaned the moment his tongue made contact with you, his hands gripping your thighs as he pinned you down. His movements were slow at first—lazy, almost—like he had all the time in the world to savor you. He licked a long, teasing stripe before closing his lips around your clit, sucking softly.
Your back arched, a strangled moan slipping past your lips. “Eren—”
“Shh, baby,” he murmured against you, his voice thick with hunger. “Let me make you feel good.”
He dived back in, his tongue flicking and circling, alternating between soft licks and firm pressure. His fingers dug into your thighs, spreading you wider as he feasted on you like a man starved.
You were already trembling, your body reacting to him so quickly, so easily.
Eren moaned against you, the vibration sending a shock of pleasure up your spine. “So sweet,” he groaned, his tongue delving deeper. “So fucking perfect.”
Your hands found his hair, tugging at the strands as pleasure built inside you. “Eren—fuck, I’m gonna—”
“Do it,” he urged, his voice breathless, desperate. “Cum for me, baby.”
With one last flick of his tongue, you shattered. Your body arched off the couch, pleasure ripping through you as he kept going, licking and sucking you through your orgasm.
Only when your thighs trembled and your breathing came out in shaky gasps did he finally pull away. His lips were slick, his chin wet, and the look in his eyes was pure, unfiltered lust.
“Fuck,” he breathed, running his hands up your thighs before gripping your waist. “I need to be inside you.”
You barely had time to catch your breath before he was on you again, pressing his lips to yours. You could taste yourself on his tongue, but you didn’t care—all you wanted was him.
Eren wasted no time, undoing his jeans with one hand while the other gripped your hip. He pulled back just enough to look at you, his gaze dark, burning. “Tell me you want this,” he said, his voice low and rough. “Tell me you need me.”
Your heart pounded, heat pooling between your legs again as you whispered, “I need you, Eren.”
It felt like those were the words he had waited his whole life to hear.
In one swift motion, he was inside you, stretching you, filling you completely. A guttural groan left his lips as he buried himself to the hilt, his fingers tightening around your hips.
“Fuck,” he growled, his head dropping to your shoulder as he fought to keep himself together. “You feel so good.”
You whimpered, your nails digging into his back as you adjusted to the stretch. He was thick, heavy inside you, the perfect fit.
Eren pulled back just slightly before thrusting forward again, setting a slow but deep rhythm that had you gasping. His hands roamed your body, he could feel the ways your walls clenched around his cock.
Fuck. You pussy made the prettiest sounds.
He leaned down, pressing his lips to your ear. “You’re mine,” he whispered, his voice dripping with possession. “You belong to me.”
You could only moan in response, lost in the way he was making you feel.
Eren smirked, his pace picking up. “Say it,” he demanded, his thrusts becoming rougher, more desperate. “Say you’re mine.”
Your body was on fire, the pleasure overwhelming as you gasped, “I’m yours, Eren. I’m all yours.”
A dark, satisfied groan left his lips as he grabbed your thighs, pushing them up so he could fuck you deeper, harder.
“Good girl,” he murmured, his lips trailing down your neck, his thrusts relentless. “Now let’s see how many times I can make you cum tonight.”
Eren didn't slow down, not even when your legs started trembling around him, not even when you whimpered from overstimulation. If anything, it only spurred him on.
"You can take it," he murmured, his voice low and possessive. His hands tightened on your thighs, holding them up so he could fuck into you even deeper. "You're my good girl, aren't you?"
You nodded frantically, your nails clawing at his back as another wave of pleasure built inside you. He was relentless, thrusting into you with deep, precise strokes that made your head spin.
"Eren—fuck, I'm—"
"I know, baby," he groaned, his lips brushing against your ear. "Cum for me again. Let me feel it."
His thumb found your clit, rubbing tight, desperate circles that sent you over the edge instantly. Your whole body tensed, back arching as a loud, broken moan ripped from your throat. The pleasure was blinding, overwhelming, leaving you trembling beneath him.
Eren cursed under his breath, watching the way your body tightened around him, how your slick coated his length. "Fuck, you're squeezing me so tight," he gritted out, his rhythm faltering for just a second before he picked up the pace again.
You barely had time to come down from your high before he was flipping you over onto your stomach. A gasp left your lips as he pressed his body against yours, his breath hot against your neck.
One of his hands slid under your stomach, lifting your hips so you were on your knees, your cheek pressed against the couch. Then, without warning, he slid back inside you, dragging a long, needy moan from your lips.
"Fuck, you feel even better like this," he groaned, his fingers digging into your hips. He pulled back slowly before snapping his hips forward, burying himself deep inside you again.
Your hands scrambled against the cushions, your breath coming out in short, desperate pants. "Eren—oh my God—"
"Shh," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of your shoulder. "Just take it, baby. Let me make you feel good."
His pace was rougher now, more desperate. Your moans became louder as his cock kept hitting that spongy spot in your cervix. He was chasing his own release, groaning he looked down noticing how your ass bounced back against him.
He needed you to fall apart one more time before he let himself go. His hand slipped between your legs, his fingers finding your swollen clit again.
"You gonna give me one more?" he asked, his voice dark with lust. "I know you can."
You whimpered, to drunk on his cock to even remember nodding helplessly as his fingers worked you, his cock hitting deep, perfect spots inside you. The pleasure was too much—your body was shaking, your mind foggy, completely lost in him.
"That's it," Eren gritted out, feeling you tighten around him again. "Fuck, baby, you’re gonna make me cum—"
His hips faltered, and you felt him twitch inside you, his breath hot against your back. "Where do you want it?" he asked, voice strained. "Tell me where I can come, baby."
You barely had to think. "Inside," you gasped, your fingers tightening against the couch cushions. "I'm on birth control—just fill me up."
Eren’s movements stilled for half a second before he let out a dark, satisfied hum. His lips curled into a smirk against your shoulder.
Birth control? He let out a dark chuckle, finding it cute that you hadn't even realised the changes in your little white pills.
Something primal stirred inside him at the thought. You were his, and soon, you’d be swollen with his child, tied to him in the most permanent way possible. He had no intention of letting you go—not now, not ever.
"Good girl," he rasped, his grip on your hips tightening. "Gonna take all of it for me, huh?"
You moaned in response, pushing back against him, and that was all he needed.
The moment you came, Eren followed, a deep, guttural groan leaving his lips as he buried himself inside you one last time. He spilled inside you with a shudder, his hands gripping your waist so tight you were sure there’d be marks.
For a few moments, the only sound in the room was your heavy breathing, the soft hum of the city outside.
Eren pressed a lazy kiss to your shoulder, his arms wrapping around you as he slowly lowered both of you onto the couch. His body was heavy against yours, warm and solid, but you didn’t mind. You liked the weight of him, the way he held you like he never wanted to let go.
"You okay?" he murmured against your skin.
You let out a small, breathless laugh. "I think you broke me."
Eren smirked, nuzzling into your neck. "Good. That way, you'll always remember who you belong to."
You rolled your eyes, but the way your heart fluttered told you that maybe you liked hearing that a little too much.
Eren didn’t move for a while, keeping you wrapped in his arms, his fingers tracing lazy circles against your skin.
Then, after a long moment of comfortable silence, he murmured, “Move in with me.”
Your breath hitched, your body going still beneath him. "What?"
Eren lifted his head, his green eyes intense as they met yours. "Move in with me," he repeated, his voice soft but firm. "I don’t want you here alone. I don’t want you struggling with bills. I want you two with me."
Your lips parted, but no words came out. The intensity in his gaze sent a shiver down your spine.
Eren leaned in, brushing a kiss against your lips, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Say yes."
He didn't even need an actual response; he could see it in your eyes, feel the way your body softened into him. You would say yes, because you were his. Entirely.
𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘮𝘦, 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘴, 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘢𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴 ©
It’s true though
I believed that books might save him because I knew they had so far, and because I knew the people books had saved. They were college professors and actors and scientists and poets. They got to college and sat on dorm floors drinking coffee, amazed they'd finally found their soul mates. They always dressed a little out of season. Their names were enshrined on the pink cards in the pockets of all the forgotten hardbacks in every library basement in America. If the librarians were lazy enough or nostalgic enough or smart enough, those names would stay there forever.
The Borrower by Rebecca Makkai
PLANET EARTH TIME TRAVEL READ
THE SMELL OF TOBACCO
AND
CHAOS ENGINES
AND
TOBACCO USE AT NEWSSTANDS
AND
THE BELL TOLLS
AND
AUTOMATED CLAPPERS
READ
THE HOLY BIBLE
Why can't authors write all the books in a series and release them at once, so that it benefits both the writer and readers. Readers can read all the books in the series without feeling like dying after a book ends and also there's no other joy than coming out of room after finishing a whole series. Authors can relax at their villa on vacation or plan for another series!!