Matt Engarde - Blog Posts

Juan asks Matt to be his boyfriend as they're playing a couple rounds of Mario Kart and Matt of course says yes and is ecstatic but is also convinced that Juan chose Then to ask him because he wanted to sabotage Matt's game but in reality. No. Juan was just looking at Matt and how much he was enjoying himself and their little date night. Completely enamored. Couldn't hold the question back any longer.

Waterparks Songs That Make Me Think Of Matt Engarde because I Said So.

Hawaii (Stay Awake) — "A hurricane lives in my bedroom, it keeps me up and awake for round two. And I just wanna sleep but that's all too much."

Stupid For You — "I'll be your new favorite tune, I'll be your black cloud by June, but only when you miss the rain like I miss you. Just double-dare me and I promise now that I'll stay. It's not like you're married but I still got carried away."

Royal — "I fall in love with everything that wants nothing to do with me. I know that there's no dealing with the way I'm feeling, I'm so out of touch with everyone and everything's a blur to me."

Dizzy — "I wanna pour my feelings down the drain, but I just take another sip until my eyes drip, 'Stay the same.'"

It Follows — "Kiss me like nobody would when I was fifteen, I'm tired of the waiting and the wondering. If I could find my something to burn out these feelings, I'd cut them out completely and I'd stop this reeling."

Plum Island — "It's harder than it should be for me to be straightforward. Like even when I did, I couldn't tell her I adored her, which I know is messed up, and I know I messed up, but at least I 'fessed up, now of course it's too late—"

Blonde — "I never wanted to be thinking this loud, I never asked about the when, why, or how. I wanted privacy, routine, and everything between while they're just finding me out. I never wanted to be thinking this loud. At least it's all about you."

Not Warriors — "There's nothing in my system so I'm feeling what I feel for you. There's nothing left to miss except the shots I take and phone calls with you, and I just need you to feel it too."

Sleep Alone — "I distract myself awake but in my dreams you're playing a song. I'll tell my friends we made amends tying up loose ends in the sand. But if you want it, you can have it, you can have me in full."

American History — "We are expected, but only in the best way, to live a small time—a year: expired. We are supposed to fall into exposure, we have the biggest sparkling eyes."

Turbulent — "So fuck yourself and fuck your feelings. I believe, but not in you and me, so I'd unfuck you if I could, I'd unlove you like I should have, months before I did in the months before I split."

War Crimes — "Behind my forehead's an assortment of things I'd like to forget. I wear a smile that's about a mile wide, I'd like to sport it. It's my fault I miss my friends, I'm lonely every day."

Worst — "It was me or whiskey, now you're pissed I wasn't bluffing. Fuck it, took a couple shots, don't you dare fucking miss me. Miss Unfaithful hit the backboard breaking bed springs, so delete us from your phone and never look back, fuck you and your friends and LA."

Snow Globe — "In the daytime I get to debate myself and quiet all the evil things I say, like 'Everybody hates you, people miss the old you, they hate everything that they all changed you into.'"

Magnetic — "But you said it, I'm magnetic to the things I hate the most. I spent today insubordinate, yeah I'm fucking up, I'm recording it. I'm projecting big through a tiny screen where I'm stacking up my reality."

Real Super Dark — "I'm out of the cage and I'm on the stage, I'm dying to give you a show. I'm alienated, way overrated, here are a few of the notes: my fans are the best, they'd love me more dead."

Self-Sabotage — "What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm on my way to you, but I self-sabatoge, so I might drive my car and crash into your garage. To get away from you, I'll self-sabatoge."

Ritual — "My inner child needs a bulletproof vest and a phone that can't text and 20 years rest. Build a bomb shelter, bite a belt for the stress, never know what's next. Sleeping with my clothes on in case—goes wrong."

Fuck About It — "We can fuck about it later if you want, because we never fix the problems that we got, baby, you don't seem to like it when we talk. I guess I'll see you later."

A Night Out On Earth — "I wear my red flags like a cape, it gets so fuckin' hot under all this shade. Everywhere I walk's a toxic parade, the glove don't fit but I wear it anyway."

オートロさん。

it follows by waterparks but through the lens of matt engarde:

"kiss me like nobody would when i was 15" taken not in the way that nobody kissed him, but nobody did so with care, with tenderness, with respect. love him, all he wants is love. something real and true and messy, sure, but in the way love is. Not lust. Kiss him in all the cheesy teen romance ways he was never allowed to experience.

sentences from my wip matt/juan hurt/comfort fic that i had a little giggle while writing because matt engarde third person limited pov is one of my favorite writing styles:

- ...he doesn’t know where to put his hands and they rest awkwardly on Matt’s shoulders, and there’s enough space in between them to appease Jesus at a fucking middle school dance. [just to clarify the 'he' here is not Juan]

- ...the guy’s only sticking his tongue in Matt’s mouth and not doing anything with it. He’s like a frog. [this is the same guy as above, still not Juan]

- He slurs out a response that amounts to something something whiskey dick, and he’s in the clear for now.

- Matt’s in a high enough tax bracket that buying everyone in this seedy shithole three rounds of his favorite top shelf brandy wouldn’t make a dent in his monthly earnings, but he’s not the type to turn down free booze.

(Hi Juangarde anon here)

You want headcanons? I’ll give you headcanons (at least for my own AU where 2-4 never happens)

- I hc that they’re t4t (Juan is ftm while Matt is transfem), so they would always support and comfort each other on their transitions and stuff like that

- They tried to learn each other’s languages and gave each other cheesy nicknames

- Just like your hc, Matt does name pets after objects. But for my hc it’s specifically footwear lol, like Boots, Shoe, Socks, etc

- The older actors (Will, Jack, etc) and a few other people in the showbiz kinda knew about their rivalry being forged, and played along with it for the views. They also sent both of them and Adrian to therapy after the Inpax incident in this AU so

- They definitely swapped jackets more than once, but it’s not like they really care about that

- Juan actually has a dog and Matt adores the canine very much (although Shoe is still superior), basically they love their fur babies

Sorry if it’s too long, but yeah, i’m glad i finally have someone to talk about Juangarde with lol. So thanks again and hope you have a nice day :))

I'm absolutely obsessed omg I will talk about the boys with anyone for as long as they'll let me ansbfnvjd

More content for them has me like 💞💓💞💕💓💓💓💕💞💕💓💞💕💕💞💓💕 I'm gonna eat conk creat. Have an awesome day!!!!!!

Just wanna say thank you for your Juangarde content (as a starving Juangarde fan and as a Juan fan in general haha) and for the fact that you realized how bad Inpax and her relationship with Juan and Matt is. I’m just tired of people viewing her as entirely angelic and all

These two are also kinda my comfort ship too so, even a mention of them is cool to me and your posts did exactly that, thank you again lol

Oh my god stop I'm literally gonna cry (/pos) over this— Believe me anon I am also starving over content for these two so I decided to Be A Chef and make my own food lmao!!

And yes yes yes oh yes I will be the first person to shout from the rooftops how absolutely horrid of a person Inpax was. Between the age gap and the power dynamic???? No wonder these two boys were kinda crappy lovers at times, they were TEENAGERS. KIDS. what are you as their adult supervisor doing dating and getting engaged to them!!!!!!!!!!! i hate her so much . and omg if juangarde is your comfort ship pls pls let me give you some headcanons of them i think are really cute, I'd love for someone else to hear the machinations of my mind—

Matt has a few pet names for him. Yes he’s the type to use ‘dude’ and ‘bro’ romantically, but he’s also disgustingly romantic once he’s done some healing, and he’ll use the corny shit like ‘mon ange’ and ‘mon musique’.

When they were younger, pre-Inpax, so like 11-12, they were never able to dance together at award show afterparties because that wouldn't align with their (fabricated!!!) rivalry, so they have to wait until they’re back in one of their hotel rooms (Matt comes to his more often, since it’s not like he’s got parents looking after him) to get time to themselves. They get their time to dance together in the late hours of the night, candles and the city skyline surrounding them, music playing from one of their phones.

Juan sings to Matt when he’s having bad nights (be it his road to recovery/sobriety or Inpax related trauma) because nothing can calm him down like his nightingale.

Matt names all his animals by picking them up and holding them like an inch away from his face and just saying the first thing that pops into his mind. His first cat was Armchair, of course we have Shoe, and then when he names a cat Vacuum and Juan sees this ritual for the first time, he goes "You are not gonna get to name our kids if this is your method, I don't want a kid named Jukebox or some shit—" (shoutout to my bestie for that Juan dialogue) and then Matt almost drops the animal out of shock, looks at Juan with the biggest widest puppy dog eyes, and just "Did...you say 'our kids'...?"

Anyway I literally love these two so so so much and I want to keep pumping out content for them I've got a hurt/comfort type thing on the way that's pre-2–4 and I'm working on a long-form multichaptered fix-it fic that will be canon divergent!!!! And of course more posting here whenever the boys invade my brain and I have a Thought

Promoting my fucked up Matt Engarde character study nsfw fic— tw for drug abuse and mentions of/references to csa ; summary and link under the cut

!! 2-4 ace attorney spoilers !!

Pairing: Matt Engarde/Juan Corrida (kind of, there's some hallucinations happening)

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 12.5k

It’s something wicked, it makes Matt’s blood burn with sharp pangs of guilt. He doesn’t deserve to think about those memories full of vitality when he’d set off the chain reaction that ended with Juan’s life being stripped away. But… Matt doesn’t like these thoughts, this guilt. Fuck, he’s living the rest of his days—hours, maybe?—as a ticking time bomb, he shouldn’t have to feel such contempt at himself. Matt takes some time with the pipe again, only stopping when his gut twists painfully. The feelings of guilt, his own personal gavel smashing down against his skull, barely subside.

Alternatively, the fic in which Matt receives a not guilty verdict and his guilt and addiction lead him down a drug trip where he hallucinates Juan, and he tries to keep his lover's memory alive by any means necessary. In other words, by doing the one thing he's been trained to do well.

juan corrida is the okokok to matt engarde's lalala

talking with bestie about whether matt or juan would propose and i have reasoning for both. Here It Is.

Juan: He's been engaged once before. Clearly that did not work out. Unrest in pieces, bitch, I hate you Inpax. He's determined to get it right this time, because he's with the right person this time. Matt has always been the man he was meant to be with. They will always find their way back to each other, and Juan wants to ensure that there's no way he could ever lose him again. He's also a hopeless romantic as we know and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think he has a scrapbook laying around of different proposal ideas. He knows the shit that Matt has gone through, and probably not even the worst parts of it. That's a terrifying thought, and he wants to put as much of that pain in the past as he can. He wants to move forward with their lives, he wants to promise himself to Matt forever. He wants to promise Matt a soft forever, a delicate one, free of hurt and anguish. He's going to do it right.

Matt: Honestly, he needs a sense of control in his love life. So much of his relationships haven't had any of his input, and while of course Juan is nothing like that, the fear remains. Trauma does that to a guy. Again, fuck you Inpax. He likes the comfort and security of being agentic, making decisions. And he knows that Juan is the type to provide the grand romantic gestures instead of receiving them. Matt wants to change that. When his life went to shit, he lost control, he wasn't there for Juan, he couldn't provide comfort and love and care. He's back on the right track now. He can make up for lost time. He can get down on one knee and in spite of all his flaws, all his mistakes, the sins of his past that nearly cost his beloved his life, he can pledge to love this man forever. He already does. But Juan likes this cheesy shit (and Matt is learning to, though the process is slow). He wants to make Juan feel loved, he wants this proposal to be everything he's ever dreamed of. Everything he couldn't get the first time. It would be grandiose. Sentimental. Multifaceted. Intimate. A perfect whirlwind combination of what's in Juan's scrapbook and that charismatic clumsiness, maybe the heat of something A Little Too Personal, that is undeniably Matt Engarde.

okay yeah and these are my ramblings. enrida/juangarde i love you. The them. The sillies.

Have you listened to Close to the Top by Måneskin? I saw your Engarde playlist and I thought it would be a good fit!

wait omg anon you are a genius idk why i haven't added any måneskin to matt's playlist he's so fitting of their vibe mmmm x___x thank you for the addition rec <333 it has been done

i wanna share some of my ace attorney spotify playlists so aaaaa !!! beware of some overlap on the Miles & NaruMitsu ones by reason of Obvious. They'll all get longer as time goes on.

Matt Engarde playlist, 5hrs

Miles Edgeworth playlist, 2.5 hrs

NaruMitsu playlist, 4 hrs

matt uses obnoxiously cheesy french pet names for juan and starts off doing so sarcastically but then he realizes that juan corrida, hopeless romantic he is, actually likes them.

anyway 2-4 never happened and they are in love.

// drug use mention

matt x juan is something so dear to me and my canon divergent mind i just think they love each other and it got fucked over when matt started getting into drugs and The Inpax Bullshit started but yeah in a better world where matt has rehab and therapy i just think him and juan would be so good. enrida/juangarde my beloved.

just. matt using dude/bro romantically but also having the cheesiest french pet names he uses for juan. the two of them back in a hotel room after an award show just slow dancing with the city skyline as their backdrop. matt being juan's muse for all the love songs he writes but juan will Never admit to this.

and i would like to imagine the rivalry they had is something they made up for shits and giggles (and publicity) and they are actually really good friends and just were taught that any press is good press so matt went "hey y'know what'd get 'em all talking???" and at age 12-13 brought this idea up to juan.

i will never shut up about enrida sorry.

i could say i love matt engarde because he is tragic young hollywood and there's also implications that his relationship with inpax was Very Bad by way of her being his manager and quite a few years older and i could get really into that and dig into the nuances of his character

but it is So Much Easier to just say murder man pretty