Icd - Blog Posts

Trichotillomania Struggles

- The constant worrying that you'll make yourself go bald.

- Confused why you starting pulling your hair out in the first place.

- Being in public (or even just by yourself) and resisting the urge to put your hands on your scalp.

- That awkward moment when someone catches you pulling.

- Stratigically planning hairstyles to hide possible bald spots.

- Wanting to go to the hair salon but having the constant fear that the person working with your hair will notice.

- Not pulling for a long period of time, and you realize you haven't pulled which makes you think of pulling and you suddenly do it with out thinking and you hate yourself.

- Intense feeling of guilt and hatred after pulling.

- Finally getting the courage to tell a doctor but them telling you they can't do anything about it.

- Sitting in class and fearing that the person behind you might be looking at your hair and knows.

- Not seeing/feeling any bald spots in a certain location, so subconsciously letting that be a reason why it will be okay if you pull more there.

- Getting ingrown hairs on your scalp

- Wanting nothing more some moments than to just yank all your hair out.

- Wanting to stop pulling, but remembering that you've been doing it since elementary school so maybe there is no hope?

- Writing that you have trich online and getting the feeling they'll assume you're some grotesque bald creature when you're not. You're just another sensational human with the tendency to pull your hair out.

- Hair is everywhere on the floor of your room and it is gross

- Disgusting yourself.

- Keeping it a secret from everyone.

- Feeling embarrassed at just the thought of it.

- Dreaming about life without it.

- Nobody seems to understand.

- 'Why can't I stop??????'

- 'I hate my hair.'

- Seeing photos of bad trich cases online and fear that that will be you someday.

- Family or friends (who know) tell you to stop and you dont know how to respond because you've been telling yourself to stop ever since you've started and it's not that easy.

- Wanting someone to talk to about it but also not wanting to talk about it.

-Not knowing how to stop.

I mean, it could be worse. At least we're alive.

Like for real…😭

(Small rant below…)

I know we have the DSM-5 (which, apparently, is generally more accurate than the ICD) but I feel like bias, perception, and even pharmaceutical companies have big influence on diagnosis (and possibly even what is put in these diagnostic tools).

The things I previously listed in pink (and influence plus inaccurate/false information for big corporate money reasons) don’t help out with misdiagnosis and such.

But in saying that, we DO have the DSM-5 for a reason, so like, maybe look in it instead of basing these solely off perception.😭

it’s weird to think how many mental disorders are diagnosed less by what the person actually does and more by how others respond to that person. like how in hysterionic personality disorder (off to a great start) a literal diagnostic criteria is the person’s emotions don’t seem convincing, which is obviously going to depend hugely upon a doctor’s personal bias. and in bpd, though it isn’t a criteria, you hear about clinicians diagnosing people based on the “meat grinder sensation” (feeling like their own insides are being ground up while talking to their patient), and with autism based on the “wall of glass phenomenon” (feeling like there is a barrier in reaching the person). they’re such weird ways to talk about people especially when the clinician’s own biases are rarely taken into account.