Cod Mwii - Blog Posts

Did anyone else notice they made Farrah taller in mw3?

She used to be at Prices and Alex’s shoulders and now she reaches half their head

Personal price hc but personally I think he worries a little more about his female colleagues because he knows how horrible men can be with fem hostages and just in general, like I feel it’s a different type of panic when he heard that laswell and Farrah were in trouble

COD fandom on here is fucked, sending people death threats, erasing the characters actual personality, and then having the audacity to try to make authors they don’t like (who have done no wrong) leave the app. It’s so unfortunate to see someone have the joy of writing taken from them, don’t listen to the haters y’all 🫶

The twinkification of soap hurts my soul

Can we get a sequel to your ‘Selfish’ pricegravesnik? I just really want to see how that goes over

Part two has been sitting for awhile collecting dust due to ✨life✨ distracting me (I started working on part two after I posted the first part, lol). This is split up into multiple chapters on AO3 which is why it was posted on there first

___

Selfish

Part 2

PriceGravesNik

___

Graves first noticed how clear his lungs felt, the loudness of machines around him, then voices on the other side of those machines. Then he noticed the brightness of the room, it made him wince and squeeze his eyes tight to block out the light. After a moment, he cracked his eyes open. It takes a lot of blinking until his eyes adjust but he finally looks around the room. He recognized as one of the rooms in the medical wing. Graves swallowed and became very aware that there was something down his throat and he felt himself start to panic.

"дорогой!"

Graves looks over and sees Nik running from the door. He's kneeling by the bed, one hand running through Graves' hair while the other grabs his hand. Graves could see his eyes full of relief.

"Easy, дорогой. The tube is putting air into your lungs. Oh, зайчик... We were so worried."

Graves slowly calms as Nik holds up his hand and presses several kisses to it. Graves squeezed as hard as he could (which wasn't very hard) as Nik smiled against his hand, holding it against his cheek. Graves looks past Nik to the door and Nik notices. He looks behind him before looking to Graves.

"John was talking to the doctor. Wanted to make sure everything was alright. I'll go get him, okay?"

Graves didn't have much strength to do much but nod. Nik kisses his hand again before he lets it drop to the bed. He leaves and Graves just stares after him, mind fuzzy. He didn't want to think about what lead him to getting in here. He really didn't. Graves knew the moment he started to think about it, the moment he relived what happened, he would start to panic again. And he didn't want to panic with a tube down his throat. So he just closes his eyes and thinks about Nik. Thinks about how delighted he was to see him, how warm his kisses were and how Graves ached for more.

"Love!"

Graves opens his eyes and Price is there. The man doesn't hesitate to lean over and press kisses to the parts of his face that wasn't covered by the ventilation mask. Price swallows hard as he rests his forehead against his.

"God, when they brought you in- Fuck... I was so scared."

"We both were," Nik said from the other side of the bed.

Graves' heart was aching, tears welling up in his eyes. Price pulls away, stroking Graves' face so lightly. It was as if he was afraid Graves would break. Price stands when someone walks in, Graves assumed it was the doctor because of the white coat. Price turns to address the doctor, Graves turning to look at Nik who was sitting on the side of the bed. The doctor steps towards the bed and Graves turns to look at him.

"Alright, Phillip. Let's have a look at you."

_

After a thorough checkup and another night in medical, the doctor allowed Graves to leave and sleep in his own bed... with heavy work restrictions and an inhaler that he had to take a puff of every couple of hours until his lungs recovered. Graves had walked outside of medical and headed straight for his room. Not Nik and Price's room, his. He hadn't slept there since he started dating Nik and Price and the room was pretty much only used to store his things.

But he wanted to be alone. Just for a moment at least. He knew that it wouldn't take long until one or both of his boyfriends sought him out after learning he was released from medical earlier than what they were originally told.

Graves refused to look at anyone, making sure to make his way to his room as fast as possible without pushing himself. He could feel eyes on him as he walked through the halls. Graves reached the barracks and froze when he saw Soap and Gaz talking near his room. He swallows and ducks behind a corner, taking a moment to breathe. He didn't want to deal with them, Graves was sure he wouldn't be able to mentally handle it. Graves leans against the wall, squeezing his eyes shut.

I should just go back to Nik and John's room...

They were going to find him there and undoubtedly attempt to question him about what happened. Graves couldn't tell them what happened, what was going through his mind as he tried to run. It would just stir up more trouble for him and everyone already hated his guts. He couldn't do it...

Graves takes a breath, steeling himself before he turns the corner and starts walking. He focused only on the door to his room, ignoring Soap and Gaz. He did everything he could to block them out and pretend that they weren't there. Graves managed to get to his door and pulled out his keys, focused on getting into the room and sealing himself inside. He found himself shaking as he fumbled through the keys, having difficulty finding the one to the room.

"Graves?"

Fuck.

Graves doesn't look over at them, just focuses on putting the key in the lock.

"Fucking- Graves!"

"Leave him alone, Soap."

Graves could see Soap walking over in the corner of his eye and he panics. He manages to open the door and darts inside, slamming it shut behind him and locking it. Graves backs away from the door, hearing the two on the other side but he couldn't understand what they were saying. Graves lets out a shaky breath and sits on the bed. The mattress was new when he had joined but he didn't use it much before he started seeking out Nik and Price's company. The mattress was firm, the sheets and a dusty smell to them, too.

But Graves didn't care about that at the moment. Graves lays down, wondering how long it'll take for Nik and Price to find him. He knew they were going to want to talk about what happened when they found him and he was trying to delay that as long as possible. He doesn't want to hear them say it, doesn't want what he already knows to be put out there. That they wouldn't hesitate to throw him out if it meant to keep the peace with the others.

Graves was never someone's first choice, ever. He's always been second rate no matter where he went or what he did. He had stopped trying to be first place and started to put himself first. Stabbing others in the back, cutting corners, doing everything he could to get himself at the top and get what he wanted. Shadow Company was born from cheating, betrayal, and pure selfishness. It represented everything Graves was. Everything that he will ever be.

Someone knocked on the door but Graves ignored it, not bothering to move. More knocking, someone talking through the door but Graves wasn't listening. He just laid on the bed, staring at the window. He couldn't help but think how beautiful the rays of sunlight were coming through the curtains, dust floating through them with grace similar to snowflakes. The person on the other side spoke louder but Graves was now actively trying to block them out. He grabbed the pillow his head was resting on and folded over his head, still staring at the window.

Then he heard the jingle of keys and Graves felt his heart beat faster. Only a couple people on base have keys to the doors on hand, and he was praying that the one he was thinking of wasn't the one opening his door. The door opened and the voices from outside became much clearer and the pillow no longer was an adequate buffer.

"Graves? Shit-"

"Let's just go get Price! Leave him alone!"

Graves wanted to scream, feeling himself start to shake. They wouldn't leave him alone, they wouldn't be satisfied until he was gone for good. Nothing will be good enough for them. Nothing that Graves will ever do will make things right. He's broken, he hasn't tried to fight back against them since he was taken into 141. He let them push him around, kept quiet like Soap wanted and didn't cause any problems.

"I like you better when you keep your mouth shut."

But... even doing everything they wanted, it still wasn't good enough. Nothing he will ever do will be good enough. He's made his bed, now he has to lay in it.

Graves flinched hard when the door closed, he was too scared to look behind him. He laid there, no longer to find beauty in the sunlight or the dust dancing in it, so he squeezed his eyes shut. He felt his breathing pick up, tears pricking at his eyes. He wanted this to be over with but he was too much of a damn coward to do anything. He won't do anything and just let himself be thrown around until he drops dead.

The door opened and Graves prepared for the worst. Something to happen, someone to grab him and drag him away. Something bad needed to happen because nothing else made sense.

"Phil?"

No-

"Love?"

No-

Graves was unable to stop the sob that escaped his lips. The door closed behind him and Nik got in bed behind him, a gentle hand touching his back. He flinched upon contact and the hand jerked away. There was a moment where nothing happened, a moment of stillness. Then Nik gently pried the pillow away from his head, and with his only buffer gone Graves felt exposed.

"дорогой, can I hold you?"

Graves said nothing because he knew that 'yes' would be the only thing to come out of his mouth. Nik lightly touched his shoulder and Graves restrained himself from rolling over and burying himself into the man's arms. Nik muttered something in Russian, it sounded so sweet and full of worry, making Graves' heart ache.

Will he be so sweet when the truth comes out?

"Милый?"

Graves closes his eyes, unable to ignore Nik any longer. He turns and buries himself against the man who immediately wrapped his arms around him. Graves felt Nik press a kiss to the top of his head, muttering something as he held him. Graves felt himself start to cry, knowing it would all be over. He didn't want it to be over, he didn't want to lose Nik and Price. Two men who looked at him for him and believed in him. But they're loyal to their own and Graves wasn't among those people. He was exactly what Laswell said he was: A temporary fling.

"Я люблю тебя."

Graves cried harder, Nik holding him like he was afraid he would disappear if he let go. Graves’ fingers were curled into Nik's shirt, desperate to keep the man next to him. The truth was going to come out sooner or later, he might as well enjoy any affection he can get before things go sour.

Graves wasn’t sure how long he cried, he just knows he cried until he had no more tears to shed. And by that point, when his tears ran dry, he found himself exhausted by it all. Graves pressed against Nik’s chest, wishing Price was there with them.

”I’m here, love. I’m not going anywhere…”

Yet.

Graves sighs, taking in the warmth of Nik’s arms and his smell before he drifted off to sleep.

_

Graves expected to wake up alone. But he wasn't, instead he was still being cradled against Nik's chest... with a body pressed against his back. Graves had never been fond of being in the middle during cuddling, something about it made him feel trapped. Nik and Price never pushed him to be stuck between them longer than what he could bear. But right now, it was welcomed.

He felt an arm on his waist, slow shallow breaths. They both were asleep or deeply relaxed. Graves could see that the room was lit by sunlight from the window meaning he hadn't been sleeping for that long. He didn't want to move, afraid everything would end right there the moment he did. So he just stayed there, waiting. He tensed when he felt Price shift behind him, feeling the man kiss the back of his head. It made his heart ache how sweet he and Nik could be.

It clashed against their terrifying personas they displayed when working.

Graves heard Nik mutter something, feel his voice rumble in his chest, "I'm worried about him."

"So am I, love."

Graves could hear their concern and he felt undeserving of it. He had avoided talking to them for too long and he knew he wasn't going to be leaving this room before they got the answers to their unspoken questions. But he was so scared of what was going to happen to him if he told them anything. Everyone here hated him and he imagined it wouldn't take much for them to finally see that standing beside him was nothing but foolish.

"Phil?"

Graves winces, he was thinking too loudly. He was never good at hiding when he was thinking about something. Graves feels Price shift behind him again, probably sitting up. Graves then felt Nik shift in front of him but he didn't make a move to get up.

"Love, can you sit up?"

Graves takes in a shaky breath before he sits up, propping himself against the headboard. Price turns to where he was facing him, trying to meet Graves' eyes but he couldn't look at him. He wouldn't be able to talk if he met either of their gazes. They sat there, no one saying anything at first. The silence became a bit too much for Graves so he went to say something but nothing came out. He closed his mouth, sighing. He needed to speak even though no one had even asked him to.

"I'm sorry..."

"Sorry? For what?"

"I know things haven't been good since I came here."

Graves feels Nik's shoulder brush his and he finally noticed how small the bed was for three grown men.

"Things have been good, Phil."

Graves shakes his head, "No, they haven't."

He's always put on a smile for them. Always acted like nothing was wrong, that he hasn't been miserable. That he hasn't been enduring the torture from those he's hurt hoping that it would make things right. Torture seems to be too much, not the right word. But that's what it's felt like for him. Torture.

"What's been going on?"

Graves keeps quiet, fear slowly clawing its way through him.

"Phil? Please, tell us what's been happening."

He couldn't imagine how this wouldn't end poorly for him. Maybe Nik would hold on for a moment but he couldn't imagine Price turning on them for Graves. They were his boys and Price would do anything for one of his boys. Graves jerks when Price takes one of his hands, Graves finally turning to look at him. Price looked so worried, desperate to fix whatever was wrong. But Graves wasn't sure if he could fix this without any issues. If he even would try.

"We can't help if you don't tell us what's wrong, Милый. We want to make things better."

"Would probably just make things worse," Graves muttered, mostly to himself and instantly regretting everything he's said.

Graves knew the likelihood of getting out of this room without telling them anything was nonexistent. That getting out here unscathed wasn't an option. Graves felt Price take his hand and squeeze so gently, a thumb rubbing over the back of his hand.

“Love… what has been going on?”

Graves shakes his head, "Nothing! Pretend I didn't say anything."

"Phil-"

Graves jerks his hands from Price, tucking his hands into his lap. He attempted to make himself as small as possible, curling in on himself until his shoulders didn't touch Nik or Price. He's said too much and he knows he won't be able to leave until he talked. He's already said enough to make them curious, make them worry. Graves should've kept his mouth shut and played everything off as him just having a bad couple of days.

"дорогой... Please..."

Graves tears up, "I don't want to cause any issues..."

Neither of his boyfriends say anything and Graves lets out a shaky breath. He crawls to the foot of the bed and sits there, trying to figure out what to say first. Their silence was of course accompanied by patience. Patience that Graves didn't deserve.

"Your men haven't been... as forgiving as you."

Price moves, "What?"

Graves has seen Price come to the defense of his boys with the drop of a dime. He's always defended them and Graves had scarcely seen any scolding or disciplinary actions made. Nik has put Soap and Ghost in their place before, but that was long ago and the situation was tense for everyone.

"Is this about Soap? Or Ghost? I've talked to them about their behavior."

"Did you? I never noticed..."

Graves winces at his own words and feels his heart pick up speed in anticipation of Price's response. Nik was quiet, too quiet.

"Why didn't you tell me about the issues you've been having with them?"

"I've seen you bend over backwards to keep them happy. Felt like it would just stir up shit."

There was more silence and Graves hated it, it was too much. So much louder than any words. He would have preferred Price openly discussed how this relationship- This arrangement- has run its course. Nik was still quiet and Price had joined him in that silence, so Graves decided to keep talking. He was already in a hole so why not keep digging.

"I know I'm just entertainment. Everyone else says I am..."

"That's not true."

If Graves didn't know the man by this point, he wouldn't have known that it was Nik who had spoken. His voice was so small, so weak. It was like he forgot what he was supposed to sound like but still forced himself to speak.

"I heard what Laswell said."

Pieces snapped together for them, "You heard that-?"

"I wasn't trying to eavesdrop. Was just in the wrong place at the wrong time... She knows what she's talking about. She's always been the voice of reason."

"Phil, that- What she said wasn't true."

Graves felt fingers brush his back and he jerked away without thinking. He didn't mean to but he wasn't expecting any kind gestures at the moment. Graves could feel his heart aching because he could imagine the hurt expressions on their faces… He could also so clearly see anger at what he was saying. So Graves closed his eyes when he felt Price get off the bed, squeezing them shut. He’s always been a coward, unable to face the consequences of his actions.

He could tell the man was in front of him but he refused to open his eyes. Graves flinched when he felt fingers graze his hands. They jerked away for a second before they came back, easing their way around Graves' hands. Graves let his hands be held, still keeping his eyes screwed shut. His hands were moved away from his lap and Graves felt whiskers on his skin before warm lips. He swallows, letting out broken breaths before he opens his eyes.

Price was kneeling on the floor, holding his hands so close to him. After another kiss Price looks up at Graves with such a sincere and loving look in his eyes. There was a pain there, an ache that Graves felt responsible for. Graves feels Nik move closer to him, reaching out to touch him again. This time Graves didn't jerk away and let Nik move close to him, pressing against him back and kissing his shoulder.

"Phil, tell us what's been happening. And please, don't leave out any details."

Graves broke and the tenderness in his boyfriend's voice. So, he started to cry. And he told them before everything that had been happening since he had officially joined 141 ranks. Things were admittedly not bad, not until Graves had grown closer to Nik and Price. He remembered everything went to shit after Ghost saw Graves leaving their bedroom, wearing one of Price's shirts. Since that moment, it felt like it became Soap and Ghost's mission to make his life hell.

They told him nothing he could possibly do would fix what he had done, that no amount of dick sucking and brown nosing would make them ever trust him. Graves didn't want to go into detail about what had been going on but once he started talking, he found himself unable to stop. Price kept a neutral expression as Graves cried, Nik held Graves the entire time. Finally, Graves stops talking and just leans back into Nik's hold.

Nik pressed a kiss to Graves' head as Price stood. While his face didn't display any particular emotion, his eyes were angry. He took a moment to compose himself before he leaned down and kissed Graves. He would then lean over and kiss Nik, muttering something to him that Graves couldn't understand, before he left the room. Fear made Graves shake and he was afraid of what was about to happen.

"We should've noticed, зайчик."

Graves turns his body and rests against Nik, staring at the door. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, like he could breathe clearly. But he also felt regret, guilt, like he was once more betraying Soap and Ghost. Those thoughts washed away with Nik pressing a series of kisses to his face.

"Let John deal with them."

So, Graves rested against Nik. And he let Price deal with them.

_

The silence after Price left made him anxious. An hour after Price left, Nik took Graves to their bedroom to run him a bath in their private bathroom. While Graves soaked, Nik ran to grab him food and whatever else the man could possibly want. He half expected Nik to come back with news about what was happening with Price. But he had nothing to say on the matter and just gave Graves his requested bowl of hot stew and fizzy drink.

After his bath Graves would lay in bed with Nik, Nik giving him full control of the TV. Though Graves spent a good half hour just clicking through movies and shows, not settling on anything to watch, he appreciated the sentiment of Nik giving up control of the TV. He had previously joked that Nik was a tyrant when it came to what they watched because the man never agreed with anything Price or Graves picked. But here he was, not saying a word as Graves just surfed through the channels before just settling on some low rated rom-com.

Price would walk in much, much later. Graves was dozing by that point, not even watching the show while Nik was fully invested into it. They both gave their attention to Price when he walked in, face flushed. He had been yelling, Graves could tell. Price took a deep breath when he had closed the door behind him like he was trying to chase off any remaining anger in him before he crawled into bed with them.

Price had crawled between Graves and Nik, facing Graves and pulling the man into his arms. Graves accepted this, relaxing against Price. He was curious, partially afraid, and deep down he wanted to know if Price had given them hell. Price had a temper that, if let loose, could burn a city down. He had seen it before, had a taste of it. Graves wanted to know if the boys had faced it, if it had burned them.

But he didn't say anything, didn't ask. He just rested against Price, melting against him as the man rubbed his back slowly. Then his hands went lower before Price rolled them over, sticking Graves between him and Nik. Nik immediately turned off the TV and turned all his attention onto Graves. It didn't take long for Graves to become breathless, flushed with want, and completely content with being stuck between Price and Nik.

_

It was a long evening with Nik and Price, neither giving him a moment to think about anything. He could feel their burning kisses and everything they did lingered on his skin. They managed to make him forget about everything, at least for a moment. Graves was nestled between them, completely in bliss and satisfaction.

Then Price got a phone call and the moment ended.

By how fast Price got dressed and left, Graves knew it was Laswell. He couldn't think of anyone else that could spur that kind of reaction out of Price. Graves felt anxious as Price left, Nik also getting out of bed. Graves just stared at Nik, wondering if the man was going to leave as well.

Nik noticed him staring and smiled, "Just going to clean up, love."

Graves relaxed, slumping back down in the bed. As promised, Nik just went to the bathroom for a moment before he returned. Graves watches Nik grab clean clothes, taking his time dressing.

”Heading somewhere?”

”Grabbing some food. Care to join me? Be good to stretch your legs.”

Graves wanted to say ‘no’ and curl up further in the covers, but he didn't and instead decided to join Nik. Graves took his time cleaning up, anxiety rattling him with the thought about leaving the room. He managed to ignore it enough to put clothes on and leave the room, sticking close with Nik as he could manage without actually touching him. They made it to the lounge without running into anyone and Graves sighed in relief.

Nik went through the lounge to the kitchen while Graves chose to sit. His mind was racing, he felt exposed. Any officer could walk into the lounge, anyone could be coming through. Choosing to remain in the lounge instead of following Nik into the kitchen was a conscious decision. He could leave quicker, it would be harder to block him in. Though he didn't doubt Nik would come to his defense if something was to go wrong, he could only think about if he would be able to come quick enough.

Paranoid bastard.

"дорогой, do you want anything?"

Graves nearly jumped out of his skin at Nik calling from the kitchen. He took a moment to breathe before he called 'no' back to the man. He was almost afraid to raise his voice, afraid to attract any attention to the lounge. The last thing he needed was someone to come in and- well, do anything really. He didn't want anyone to look at him, couldn't stand the thought of their eyes on them. Pity, loathing, annoyance— Any such thing would be too much.

Nik comes back from the kitchen and sits down beside Graves. Graves notices the tower of a sandwich in his possession and snorts.

"Have enough for an army there!"

"Enough to share~"

"No thank you, there's no telling what you put in that monstrosity."

Nik rolls his eyes before makes himself comfortable. Graves felt his heart leap, finding nothing but adoration for the man beside him. Then his mind naturally turned to Price and it sunk once more. The call that made him leave so quickly—

Graves jerks his head back as a fucking pickle is shoved in his face.

"Nikolai-!"

"You need to eat something!"

"I'm not eating a bread and butter pickle you psycho!"

Nik was good at getting his mind off of things. Graves knew he was purposely annoying him, purposely making it impossible for him to think about anything other than him. It was something that Graves loved about him.

“Nothing wrong with them! You and John are just weird!”

”Oh? We’re the weird ones? Sorry, babe, but you’re the weird one in this relationship.”

Nik feigns a hurt expression and Graves couldn’t help but smile. God, he loved this man.

Nik ate his food, Graves closing his eyes and enjoying his presence. But the relative silence allowed for his thoughts to brew once more. He frowns, heart aching as he thought about Price. Graves open his eyes, staring at Nik for a moment before he finally said something.

”Do you think John crossed a line with his boys? Or if Laswell is punishing him somehow…”

”Hey, none of that. John is fine. He can handle whatever is thrown at him. The boys got what they deserved and Kate is just going to understand. I doubt she knew what all was going on.”

”Right… because she definitely doesn’t have eyes and ears everywhere.”

Nik sighs, “Phil, she has eyes and ears everywhere on the job. Out in the field, not here. She knows what we tell her and I doubt she’s been given the full story.”

Graves hums. Nik was right, of course he was. He’s smart and he definitely knows Laswell better than Graves. Price was fine… everything was fine…

”What if-“

”Phil I will shove this pickle in your mouth.”

Graves couldn’t help but laugh, Nik looking at him with his softest, most loving glare he has at his disposal. Graves took Nik’s threat to heart and silenced himself. He’ll at least wait until the man has finished all his food before saying something else. He could imagine a few ways Nik would do to hut him up, running into the kitchen to grab another pickle included.

Graves felt a light vibration in the couch which was most likely Nik’s phone. Graves had long abandoned his phone elsewhere (probably now in Nik and Price’s rom somewhere). Nik takes out his phone to check it, poking around until his face gave a subtle hint of relief. He’s a good actor so whatever it was was truly comforting.

”The boys will be getting a talking to… something about teamwork and harassment.”

Graves felt his heart skip a beat, “John is-?”

”And Kate. I told you she would understand.”

Graves let’s out a short, surprised laugh. He slumps against the couch, feeling a weight being lifted. There was of course anxiety about how the boys would react, how they would treat him going forward… but Graves felt at ease, he felt secure where he was.

And that felt amazing.

Everytime Graves goes to Price or Nik to complain about Soap being mean to him. Soap reminds them the "HE SHOT AH FCKING TANK AT ME!!??"

If that doesn't work he goes to, or Ghost who will then follow Graves around while glaring at him a whole day.

Or Laswell who then spoils him, and Gaz, while telling Price and Nik that she can't believe they're treating the sergeants like that, after everything they've gone through. Laswell is extremely disappointed. This will make both of the men feel upset, because no one wants Laswell to be disappointed in them.

Selfish

Graves centric, PriceGravesNik

TW: angst

(my friend called me an emotional masochist for this lol)

___

It felt like everyone was against him. He couldn't blame them with the shit he pulled, but Graves felt like he earned a tiny bit of leeway by this point. Hasn't he proven himself to the others by now? Nik and Price keep telling him they're proud about how much he's changed but judging by how everyone else treats him... he doesn't feel like he's changed at all.

Soap was always fucking him over, getting Nik and Price to turn their backs to Graves (normally only for a few seconds but it still hurt). If Soap didn't succeed in getting Nik and Price on his side, he turned to Ghost. And Ghost never passed up on a opportunity to fuck over Graves. He never physically hurt him, but that man was a master in verbal abuse and had a glare that could kill a god.

It didn't take much for Gaz to get on the Graves hate train and it happened very suddenly. Graves had three against him and felt like he couldn't turn to Nik or Price about it. He was afraid if he said anything that they would realize that everyone was right. That Graves wasn't worth it, that they could do so much better, that him trying to change was laughable and he will never be more than what Shepherd had him do.

He will always be that person, no matter what. It was only a matter of time until they realized it. Graves could hear the clock ticking, there was a constant countdown in his head. Every time Soap said something to them, every time Ghost said something to Graves and berated him, every time Gaz went along with whatever was being said about Graves--

It felt like the countdown sped up, like it would drastically jump to lower numbers.

Graves felt on edge the entire time. Felt like everyone was looking at him, waiting. It was too much. It made his head spin, his heart race, made him lose his breath. Graves kept thinking about what Shepherd told him, that he was nothing more than a walking plague, infecting those around them all while wearing a grin.

He hadn't spoken or seen Shepherd in a long time now but those words were becoming more prominent in Graves' head. He was starting to think he was right. He was a walking plague and he was infecting Nik and Price because they stood too close to him. He was hurting them. Hurting their relationship with everyone. They were taking a leap of faith with him, trusting him to prove to everyone that he has changed and was trying to do good.

It was only a matter of time before that faith and trust blew up in their faces.

Graves couldn't talk to them about it, to anyone. He didn't need to, he knew already. This was a mess waiting to happen, and Graves wasn't sure if he could handle watching it. He was clinging onto the blindly given love and affection from Nik and Price. Their addictive trust, their warm hugs, sweet kisses--

He was being selfish by sticking around as long as he has.

Graves knew he had to leave after overhearing what Laswell told them. He knew Nik and Price cared about her and valued her opinion. They were very close friends, practically family. Graves had always tried to avoid her, he knew she didn't like him and will probably never go beyond tolerating him for Nik and Price's sake.

"You're throwing away your relationship with the boys over him."

Graves heard the venom in her voice, it made him feel sick. He didn't mean to eavesdrop and had stumbled by at the wrong time.

"Kate-"

"No, John. I don't want to hear it. You both have been acting like lovesick teenagers, caring more about a temporary fling than the more important relationships in your lives! Every day I get calls from Soap. Texts from Ghost. Guess what they're both saying?"

Graves leaned heavily on the wall, heart pounding and ache spreading through his chest.

"You're prioritizing a relationship that is going to end in flames. People are going to get hurt and I want you to guess who those people are."

He couldn't stick around. He just started walking. The silence from Nik and Price was loud, suffocating. It said everything that Graves had been telling himself was going to happen: They were finally opening their eyes. The countdown had reached the end and Graves needed to leave. He couldn't bear facing Nik and Price telling him to fuck off, it hurt to think about it. But he knew that they were done with him. After that talk from Laswell? Keeping him around afterwards would be stupid.

Graves could feel everyone's eyes on him. It was too much. He couldn't look up, he didn't want to meet anyone's gaze. He just focused on the floor and walked, trying to keep the ache in his chest from being too much. But that was hard when everything was too much. People talking, their gazes, their very presence made him feel on edge, under attack. Graves needed to leave, needed to disappear.

Graves accidentally ran into someone.

"Fuck- Graves?"

He wanted to scream at Gaz's voice. He couldn't look at him as it became harder to breathe.

"Phillip?"

He bolted. Ran as fast as he could. He couldn't find a door, an exit into the outside world. He found a window instead and climbed out it. He took off after hitting the ground, not caring anymore. He had to leave. Had to run before Nik and Price found him and got rid of him in a more forceful manner. Graves just ran, managing to get off base. He was surprised how far and long he managed to run with how fucked up his lungs were after the tank accident. No, not accident. Soap tried to kill him but failed. Graves was wishing he didn't fail.

Finally, he couldn't run anymore. He collapsed to the ground, breathing hard. His lungs were screaming and he felt even more panicked by his inability to catch his breath. Graves was told to not push himself too hard, that his lungs couldn't handle it anymore. Nik and Price usually watched him, kept an eye on him and made sure he didn't overwork himself. Well, no one was here looking out for him and now he was on the ground, wheezing with black edging into his vision.

He was kneeling on the ground, trying to breathe. He felt himself tip and fall onto his side, staring ahead of him. Sound became muffled, everything started to slow down. He heard something attempt to push against the barrier. He felt someone grab him but he couldn't understand what was being said. He couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't breathe--

Graves felt himself drift in and out of consciousness, unable to focus on anything, not even a thought. He felt himself be moved, a pressure going up and down his back. Graves felt air slip into his lungs, little by little. After some time he could feel himself breathe better, hear better. He had his eyes shut because the sun was too much. He didn't know where he was or who was with him, but they were trying to keep him alive.

"-to be okay. Breath in... and out..."

Graves slowly followed their instructions, still unable to determine who it was. It couldn't be anyone that knew him, they would've left him to die. Graves felt himself tilt and the person leans against him, a hand going up and down his back, matching his breathing. Sound was returning and Graves could hear the person, a man, speaking calmly in his ear. Though there was a panic behind the calmness, his voice was soothing.

The sound of a vehicle pulling up, rushing footsteps--

"Fuck, what happened to him?"

Soap.

Graves feels panic wash over him again, trying to move away. The man holds him, cursing before he tries to get Graves to stand.

"We have to get him to medical!"

Graves was hauled into the vehicle, the person who saved him holding him while Soap drove (he assumes Soap was driving, unless there was a third, silent, person there at the wheel). Graves felt exhaustion hit him like a truck and he just leans heavily on the man holding him upright. Graves couldn't bother to react to the voices that were maybe talking to him. Didn't react when some grabbed him, held his face. He felt himself get picked up and get carried somewhere. And that's when he finally lost consciousness.

And while he was having difficulty holding onto a coherent thought, he did manage to have one thought that he could actually understand.

I hope I don't wake up.

And just like that, everything stopped being too much.

any fic recommendation of simon x f!reader where f!reader doesn’t trusts men easily, like a fereal cat? but not a brat, just angry and kinda jumpy all the time? and she meets simon? but she’s not very trusting bcs ykw he’s a man but then slowly she opens up? idk i may be projecting but in almost all fics reader is super open and i’m like- don’t give out ur trust too easily!

Nap 💤

Happy valentines from these two who are spending it getting their well-deserved rest

If only I had someone to do this for me.. guess I'll stick to my girl dinners

✨Girl Dinner ✨

Simon Riley X Reader

A/N: Not proofread. Will probs go back and edit it. Please don’t throw things at me. xoxo

CW: None

—————————————————————————

If you knew Simon was coming over around dinner time, you would always have a healthy, balanced meal waiting for him. He works so hard and you don’t mind doing this for him. You always made sure to have a protein, starch, vegetable, and a dessert. Need to keep him the big boy he already is. He deserves it, okay!

But what happens when Simon decides to comes by unannounced and he arrives to you having ✨girl dinner✨

Honestly getting hit by a bus might have been better than the day you had at work. Everyone else’s problems somehow became your problem. You swear you work with some of the most incompetent people in your area. You just have to!

No one forecasted rain today either, but here you are soaked almost down to your underwear from the storm. You didn’t think to bring an umbrella and now you are paying the price. Now you are 4 blocks from home, drenched, agitated, hungry, and fucking tired.

Elevator for the win tonight! The thought of going up 4 flights of stairs makes you misty eyed. The hallways to your apartment feels miles longer when you are this tired, but you trudge to the door. Once inside, it’s time for your after work routine. Door locked. Shoes wherever they land. Comfiest pajamas. Latest season of Hell’s Kitchen. Beer in hand. Dinner time!!!!

After staring in your fridge for 10 minutes dissociating to cope with your mundane existence, you grab whatever looks edible and the least amount of work. You finally land on an air fried chicken patty, 3 pieces of swiss cheese, 2 yogurt tubes, a piece of salami, a snack bag of fritos, baby carrots, and half a cucumber. Ah perfect!

You sit down on the couch with a little shoulder shimmy, excited to dig in. As you pick up your chicken patty (uncut and with your fingers because you are not dirtying MORE dishes), three loud knocks reign on your front door. Your left eye twitches for just a moment before you heave a heavy sigh. “I paid my fucking rent.” You say to yourself as you get off the couch. Stomping doesn’t even begin to describe the way your feet the hit floor as you make your way to the door. Sorry Miss. Lutton downstairs!! I’ll have to send her some cookies.

You don’t even look before you swing the door open, ready to cuss out whoever dared to disturb your already horrible day. “What could you possib-“ The word dies in your mouth as your face comes square to your boyfriend’s chest. A chuckle leaves him as he stares down at his little firecracker. You raise your head to look back at him before giving him the most cheesiest, sarcastic smile. “Well hello there handsome. You lost? Why don’t you come on inside and I can help you find your way” You say up to him while putting your hands on your hips and smirking at him. He doesn’t say anything before he shakes his head and sighing. However, the blush on his cheeks doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

You move out of the way as he makes his way in your apartment. He places his boots next to yours and walks his way to your couch. A heavy sigh leaves his mouth as he takes his balaclava off. You smile as you walk toward him and sit down on the couch, giving him your full attention. “So what’s shaking” You bop his nose “Bacon.” He stares at you incredulously. You send a full teeth smile back at him.

“How was work?” He moves on from your weird antics. “Oh the WORST. Samantha would NOT shut up today. I swear to god Brian kept emailing me just to piss me off. We are in the middle of this project and he does 1 thing and then asks what else needs done and-“ You stop talking when you notice his focus is on your plate on the table. “Oh!!! Do you want dinner? I can make something.” You go to get up before two hands pulls you back down onto the couch. A squeak did NOT leave your mouth you do not care what Simon says. (HA)

“What’s all that then?” He points to your untouched beautiful dinner. “My dinner?” You say back in a sarcastic tone “A chicken patty, kids yogurt, 4 baby carrots, half a cucumber, a singular piece of salami, fritos, and 3 slices of cheese. That’s your dinner?” He looks at me with a mix of worry, confusion, and plain humor. “Yes. It’s girl dinner.” You explain back to him. “Girl dinner.” He states back, no real question in his voice. “Yeah. it’s all of the food pyramid. Dairy, meats, veggies, fruit, grains.” You point to each one as you say them. “What’s so wrong?” You look back in confusion. “I’m proud of myself.” You huff before grabbing your plate.

“Lovie. Do you make special meals when I come over?” The slice of swiss cheese in your hand freezes as he says this. “I mean, Yeah. You need a home cooked meal. You deserve a home cooked meal. This is what I normally have.” He stares blankly at you. He stands, says nothing, grabs your plate and takes it to the kitchen. “HEY. I was eating that.” You stand and begin to make your way to the kitchen. “Stop.” You hear and shit yessir. I am stopped.

“Go sit back down.” He says as he grabs pots and pans from the cupboard. “Simon. What are you doing? I am perfectly fine eating my plate I made.” You sit down on the couch and cross your arms. Borderline pouting one would say. “Yeah well i’m not. Sit there and i’ll bring you this when I am done.” You huff and watch television. You hear him mutter to himself periodically. Something along the lines of “the fuck ‘s a girl dinner” and “not eating properly”. 40 minutes, a beer, and an episode of hell’s kitchen later, Simon appears from the kitchen with homemade chicken parmesan, a side salad, and garlic bread. He places the plate on the coffee table and returns to the kitchen to get us drinks. You can’t lie, your stomach starts to grumble at the smell. He returns with 4 beers and places a kiss on the crown of your head before sitting down next to you and mauling his plate.

Okay so maybe girl dinner has NOTHING on something Simon made from. You can come to terms with that. “No more special meals just for me. We will cook together on nights i’m here and i’ll make sure you have enough groceries the other nights i’m not.” You look at him quizzically. “You don’t have to do that.” He stops eating, smiles at you, and kisses your forehead. “Want to.” You smile back at him and settle in to eat your meal, courtesy of the love of your life.

boydad!simon misses when his son was a little newborn.

[ boydad!Simon - one - two - three ]

cw: simon "ghost" riley x afab!reader

You liked to think that you showed off your son a decent amount of times with pride like every other parent — but Simon took it to a different level. Anyone who gave him a moment of their time would be subject to listening to him ramble about his adorable son and be forced to see the catalogue of videos he keeps in his gallery.

Regarding that information, It came to no one's surprise that he was a fanatic for taking pictures of your little boy — doesn't matter if it was just him simply playing with his blocks it needed to be photographed!

He began the tradition that once a month he'd take a cute picture of your son next to a ballon that said how old he was in months. He even bought a new polaroid camera for it so he can tuck the images away safely in a photo-book (and most definitely show to your son to tease him once he's older).

Today would be the 8th month of the tradition, your little boy already laying down on a soft wooly blanket as he happily kicked his feet and his chubby hands smacked against the ballon.

You smiled down at your son, cooing at him as you waited for Simon to come in with his camera.

But, after 10 minutes you began to worry. You scooped your son up from the blanket, carefully cradling him and walking to your master bedroom.

"Simon!" You called out into the house, your baby on your hip as you looked through the house for your husband.

Your hand curled around the door knob to your bedroom, creaking the wooden door open and your eyes landing on Simon sitting on the edge of the bed with one of your son's old baby onesies — the first one he wore after you took him back from the hospital.

"Oh, love." You whisper softly, your little boy letting out a curious gurgle when he saw his father sitting on the bed.

"He used to fit in this." Simon mumbled to himself, his hands gently running along the fabric of the onesie.

"Yea, our baby grew up so quick." You added, shuffling yourself to sit beside Simon while your baby squealed and sat in your lap.

"Can't believe it's already been 8 months. He'll be off to uni soon enough." Simon let out a shaky breath, your gaze growing softer seeing his eyes become glossy and his waterline filling with tears.

"He'll always be our baby even when he's grown, love." You reassuringly reminded Simon, a heavy sigh leaving him as his shoulders relaxed. Your little boy wriggled in your arms, crawling his way to his father's arm and giggling once Simon held him securely in his arms.

"You better not grow up too fast on me." Simon playfully lectured your son, cradling the little boy as his large hand gently ruffled his dirty blonde tuft of hair — same shade as his daddy's.

You smiled at the scene in front of you, your head against Simon's shoulder as you both looked lovingly down at your baby. He'll grow up and become a respectable young man, but for now he was in his father's arms and loved unconditionally.

「 Masterlist ❤︎ 」

John prides himself in his professionalism but that professionalism wavered when he met his major's sweet eldest daughter.

cw: captain john price x fem!reader

John didn't become a captain through some stoke of luck. He clawed his way to the top — created a name for himself through sheer hard-work. Very few people could command him in the SAS, and one of those people was your father.

Your father was respected and feared, loved and detested — a man that made it to the top of the food chain with heavy scars to prove his worth.

You tagged along with your mother and father to some social event since your day was free while your little sisters went out with their friends. It's not like you had anything better to do so why not join them?

You smiled at every single one of your father's subordinates, noting how they all seemed to cower away and treated you like you were some bomb waiting to explode. It made a pout form on your face, feeling a bit frustrated that everyone thought you were like your gruff father.

Except one man. Captain price.

Not only did his warm smile make your heart leap out of your chest, but when he willingly extended his hand for a handshake and then kissed your knuckles — you became a puddle on the floor.

John knew the correct approach would have just been acknowledging his major's daughter but you were so pretty: your pretty navy blue blouse and chic white skirt that cut off at your thighs had his eyes glued to you. He swore you had a halo behind your head and a pair of white wings on your back — you looked so heavenly he would've fallen on his knees to worship you if you guys weren't at this event.

His boys could easily see the bewitched look on their captains face, teasing him and making smug remarks all throughout the night.

"The captains found a pretty bird, eh?"

He didn't care if you were the major's sweet daughter — he heard the soft gasp that came out your lips when his lips pressed against your skin and he knew he was going to be yours.

(Your dad was just happy that you picked one of his captains and not some snappy recruit)

「 Masterlist ❤︎ 」

Price is absolutely baffled when he see's his lovie's phone layout (old man confusion)

cw: older!captain john price x younger!gn!reader (legal age gap)

When price started dating someone much younger than him — nearly a 20 year age gap — he knew there would be some generational misunderstandings.

You'd scrunch your face in bewilderment every time he'd reference some old childhood show he watched, a beat of awkward silence passing before it finally clicked in his head that while he was watching the show you weren't even a thought yet.

He'd look at you unamused whenever you talk in gen-z lingo, his eyebrows furrowed while you tried to explain "gyatt" in between your giggles because come on, how are you meant to tell him with a straight face that gyatt means a fat ass?

One lazy morning, you were doomscrolling through your phone, absentmindedly moving your thumb and not bothering to move as John sluggishly trudged towards you. His beefy arms curled around your waist, grumbling as he pulled you closer under the comforter — but then his eyes shot wide open when he saw how different your screen was.

It had little icons, pictures, and other things that definitely weren't on the regular iphone screen. Hell, you had a damn record spinning on there somehow!

"Why's your phone look like that?" John gruffly spoke, eyes squinted as you turned your head and laughed at his confused expression.

"I decorated it using widgets."

"Widgets?"

The lazy morning turned into you decorating John's phone (he requested a brown theme); you smiling as you handed it back to him after decorating it in a light brown aesthetic. He was surprised at how quick you had transformed his phone, but hummed in appreciation and planted a kiss on your cheek as a thank you.

The boys at base had a good laugh seeing their captain's phone all "dolled up." (Soap laughed the hardest so he was given bathroom cleaning duties for the rest of the month.)

「 Masterlist ❤︎ 」

könig would never in a million years speak up in a public environment, but when he sees his poor schatz's sullen face after getting handed the wrong item — social anxiety suddenly never existed to him.

cw: könig x gn!reader

You and König both bonded over the fact you hated unnecessary interactions with other people. You were practically carbon copies of each other; preferring to keep conversations at a minimum and then hurriedly walk back to your office (König's office) and recharge after any social interaction. Doesn't matter if it was a simple "how was your day" coffee talk — you'd whine and fumble into König's lap after to recharge in his warm, bearish hug.

König found it adorable how you used him like a charger, feeling safe in his grasp knowing your feelings were understood and validated. He knew what it was like — his social anxiety stunted him in the conversational skill department as well so he was acutely aware how draining and nerve-wracking the simplest of conversations could be.

On the rare occasions you two have a date night that isn't binge watching shows, you both pick quiet and intimate locations — like tonight you two decided on a fine dining restaurant. Yea it'll be expensive, but better than a concert where you're surrounded by strangers, right?

It was enjoyable for the most part; the atmosphere was romantic and the restaurant was elegantly designed. Only problem — they gave you the wrong dish.

Your face dropped, scrunching in dissatisfaction at the meal in front of you that you definitely did not order; and your grimaced expression did not go unnoticed by König.

It broke his heart seeing his liebchen's sullen expression. He knew you wouldn't call over the waiter to tell them the mistake, so for probably the first time in nearly his 4 decades of existence he called over the waiter.

"This is the wrong order." König nearly growled out, his voice stern and monotone as the waiter quickly spewed out apologies and whisked the plate off the table.

You stared at König, wide-eyed that he did that knowing how uncomfortable it must have made him feel.

"König—"

"Don't worry about it mein Schatz, I'm fine. You know I'd do anything for you, ja?" He gave you that sweet and adoring smile, and you swear you could feel your heart melting and falling in love with him all over again.

Price is absolutely baffled when he see's his lovie's phone layout (old man confusion)

cw: older!captain john price x younger!gn!reader

When price started dating someone much younger than him — nearly a 20 year age gap — he knew there would be some generational misunderstandings.

You'd scrunch your face in bewilderment every time he'd reference some old childhood show he watched, a beat of awkward silence passing before it finally clicked in his head that while he was watching the show you weren't even a thought yet.

He'd look at you unamused whenever you talk in gen-z lingo, his eyebrows furrowed while you tried to explain "gyatt" in between your giggles because come on, how are you meant to tell him with a straight face that gyatt means a fat ass?

One lazy morning, you were doomscrolling through your phone, absentmindedly moving your thumb and not bothering to move as John sluggishly trudged towards you. His beefy arms curled around your waist, grumbling as he pulled you closer under the comforter — but then his eyes shot wide open when he saw how different your screen was.

It had little icons, pictures, and other things that definitely weren't on the regular iphone screen. Hell, you had a damn record spinning on there somehow!

"Why's your phone look like that?" John gruffly spoke, eyes squinted as you turned your head and laughed at his confused expression.

"I decorated it using widgets."

"Widgets?"

The lazy morning turned into you decorating John's phone (he requested a brown theme); you smiling as you handed it back to him after decorating it in a light brown aesthetic. He was surprised at how quick you had transformed his phone, but hummed in appreciation and planted a kiss on your cheek as a thank you.

The boys at base had a good laugh seeing their captain's phone all "dolled up." (Soap laughed the hardest so he was given bathroom cleaning duties for the rest of the month.)

just found out I'm on my period so I wrote about our favorite austrian coming to your beck and call during shark week

pairing: könig x afab!reader cw: period discomforts

König would unironically be those "just found out women get periods" men but it's expected. He doesn't have any sisters, his mother didn't teach him either because why would she? And the military definitely didn't teach him about the female anatomy.

So the first time when he saw you curled up under your comforter, whimpering softly and clutching your stomach he genuinely thought you were dying.

"Mein schatz what's wrong!?" Konig would ask in a panicked voice and quickly step to your side, kneeling at the edge of the bed and his rough hand cupping your cheek.

"Just my period konig..." You groggily mumble out, almost not catching how his expression changed from worry to confusion.

"Period?"

"Yea I—... you don't know what periods are you, do you?" A chuckle escapes your lips when you see konig's fallen face and his almost shameful nod to your question.

After you explained it to him you couldn't help but giggle seeing how mad he looked.

"I can't believe women have to go through that."

"Once a month for the rest of our life."

"Scheiße- I'm so sorry mein liebchen..." Konig would whisper softly, his voice smooth and gentle as his calloused hand would rub against the apple of your cheek.

From that day forward he'd always have a care package ready for you with chocolates, ice cream, pads, tampons — whatever his schatz needed. Not only that but he gladly became your heat pack for you, letting you lay under him and whine to put his full weight onto you (as much as he loved you he never did because have you seen him? he's huge. he'd crush a little thing like you!)

His large hand would run down your back and soothe you as you groaned and hiccuped about cramps, his burly arms warming you up and whispering sweet assurances into your ear. He was already a sweetheart but he would be such a gentlemen during your period.

trying to get out of bed? he'll carry you bridal style to wherever you want to go. ordering food? don't worry your pretty little head he's already ordered your favorite takeout. your mood swings making you feel irritable? hit him as many times as you want to feel better schatz, it's not like he can actually get hurt anyway.

he'd be the most understanding and doting lover during your period, ready to kneel and worship you like the goddess you were to him.

「 Masterlist ❤︎ 」

Price is absolutely baffled when he see's his lovie's phone layout (old man confusion)

pairing: older!captain john price x younger!gn!reader cw: age gap relationship

When price started dating someone much younger than him — nearly a 20 year age gap — he knew there would be some generational misunderstandings.

You'd scrunch your face in bewilderment every time he'd reference some old childhood show he watched, a beat of awkward silence passing before it finally clicked in his head that while he was watching the show you weren't even a thought yet.

He'd look at you unamused whenever you talk in gen-z lingo, his eyebrows furrowed while you tried to explain "gyatt" in between your giggles because come on, how are you meant to tell him with a straight face that gyatt means a fat ass?

One lazy morning, you were doomscrolling through your phone, absentmindedly moving your thumb and not bothering to move as John sluggishly trudged towards you. His beefy arms curled around your waist, grumbling as he pulled you closer under the comforter — but then his eyes shot wide open when he saw how different your screen was.

It had little icons, pictures, and other things that definitely weren't on the regular iphone screen. Hell, you had a damn record spinning on there somehow!

"Why's your phone look like that?" John gruffly spoke, eyes squinted as you turned your head and laughed at his confused expression.

"I decorated it using widgets."

"Widgets?"

The lazy morning turned into you decorating John's phone (he requested a brown theme); you smiling as you handed it back to him after decorating it in a light brown aesthetic. He was surprised at how quick you had transformed his phone, but hummed in appreciation and planted a kiss on your cheek as a thank you.

The boys at base had a good laugh seeing their captain's phone all "dolled up." (Soap laughed the hardest so he was given bathroom cleaning duties for the rest of the month.)

「 Masterlist ❤︎ 」