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TW : discussion of death and suicide. I know these themes are present in TGCF, but this post delves further into them and broaches the subject in a way that might be triggering, so please proceed with caution.
When you think about it, what drove Xie Lian mad during his first banishment wasn’t the Temple. It wasn’t his friends leaving him, it wasn’t the blessed land incident, nor was it his parents’ suicide. It wasn’t even Bai Wuxiang (at least not directly).
No, what really drove him mad was his inability to die, and the complete loss of the ability to choose his own path.
When Xie Lian returns home after the 100 swords, he has no intention of turning to BW. He has no intention of taking revenge on Yong'an (not seriously, anyway), let alone considering anything close to a genocide.
It is only after trying—and failing—to commit suicide that he loses himself entirely. Because the shackle took the last shreds of control he had over his existence from him. Of course, the fact that he heard festivities going on in Yong’an didn’t help, but it was no more than a trigger, I think
The shackle strips Xie Lian of his right and capacity to dispose of himself, which is one the worst thing I can imagine happening to someone. And after his only way out is taken away from him, Xie Lian is left with literally no possible course of action. He cannot live because Bai Wuxian won’t let him, he cannot die because the shackle makes it impossible.
He is stuck in an impossible position. So of course he snaps.
Note : That is not to say that suicide is okay or should not be actively prevented. But the way Xie Lian is kept alive is a terrible violation of bodily autonomy. People experiencing suicidal thoughts need help so that they no longer want to die ; forcing them to remain alive by force alone, and without doing anything to help them get better, is not only a terrible idea but outright torture, and complete lack of consideration for human dignity.
If any phrasing I used was insensitive, please let me know in the comments and I will correct it: English is not my native language and I make mistakes sometimes. Take care 🤍
the second part to my fic series about matthias! what a guy.
Matthias checks the knives and forks three times each, then starts to prepare a simple breakfast. Bread without butter or jam, no milk or water. Ignore the luxury to focus on the essentials, practice what is necessary before you start to add frills to it. Setup, punchline. No need for wordplay.