Brian Epstein - Blog Posts

McLennon (2/4)

"the break-up"

"I Want a Hold Your Hand" se tornou número um nas paradas americanas em 1964, tornando The Beatles os primeiros britânicos a conquistarem tal façanha. Com isso, foram convidados para finalmente irem aos Estados Unidos, iniciando assim a Invasão Britânica (época onde bandas e cantores da Inglaterra conquistavam o mundo).

No dia 9 de fevereiro de 1964, os Beatles se apresentaram no The Ed Sullivan Show, quebrando novamente mais um recorde, o de audiência desse programa que até hoje nunca foi quebrado, esse talvez foi o show mais importante da banda.

Continuaram um período em solo americano, gravaram um novo álbum chamado A Hard Day's Night e gravaram um filme com mesmo nome sendo a primeira banda a gravar um filme que foi sucesso de bilheteria.

As músicas cada vez mais deixavam de ser covers e ganhavam o selo Lennon-McCartney. Uma delas foi do álbum A Hard Day's Night, "If I Feel".

"If I Feel" conta sobre o sentimento de se apaixonar. John e Paul pediram à George Martin que dividissem um microfone para a gravação da mesma deixando suas vozes em harmonia. Mais tarde, Lennon diria em uma entrevista nos anos 70 que essa música não era para Cynthia, então para quem mais seria? Sem contar que nas gravações do filme A Hard Day's Night, quando apresentada essa mesma música, foi tirada uma foto onde John aparece ajoelhado na frente de Paul cantando If I Feel (essa cena foi cortada da versão original do filme).

Lennon e McCartney dividiram uma suíte em Key West no período de gravação do filme e Paul contou sobre isso:

"Estávamos em Key West em 1964. Nós voamos para Jacksonville, na Flórida, e fizemos um concerto lá, mas nós tivemos que desviar por causa de um furacão. Nós ficamos lá por alguns dias, não sabendo o que fazer exceto, como, beber. Lembro-me de amarrar muito, e tendo um dessas noites de tapete de banheiro falando para a noite, quando tudo o que ficamos muito tarde, e nós ficamos tão irritados que acabamos chorando sobre, você sabe, quão maravilhoso estávamos, e quanto nós nos amamos, mesmo que nunca tivéssemos nada. Foi bom: você nunca diz nada assim." (Paul McCartney sobre o trecho da música Here Today)

Falando um pouco sobre o filme, há uma cena que talvez não estava no roteiro, mas que acabou ficando como oficial do filme. Quando ambos estão procurando o avô de Paul (personagem ficcional adicionado ao filme), John entra em uma cabine cheia de meninas, começa a cantá-las, então, como um namorado ciumento, McCartney tenta arrancá-lo de lá o segurando por trás e pela cintura, tirando-o da cabine um tanto irritado. Há também uma cena em que os Beatles fogem das fãs entrando em um carro. Enquanto as garotas gritam e tanta abrir o carro, John grita: "Puxem o Paul primeiro porque ele é o mais bonito!". Talvez por causa dessas cenas, nasceram fãs na década de 60 do casal McLennon.

Ainda em 1964, sem sair dos Estados Unidos, os Beatles foram chamados para fazer uma homenagem aos 400 anos de Shakespeare, fazendo a peça de "Um sonho de uma noite de verão", também conhecido como O conto de Pyramus e Thisbe. Essa história lembra muito a também de Shakespeare, Romeu e Julieta. Nela, o casal foi interpretado pela dupla Lennon-McCartney, sendo Paul o cavaleiro Pyramus e John a donzela Thisbe, já George fez o Luar (Moonshine) e o Ringo o terrível porém adorável Leão. No fim, tudo deixou de ser uma coisa séria e se tornou uma peça de humor, com John fazendo questão de deixar sua voz mais grossa se recusando a fazer uma voz de mulher. A peça consiste no casal que, separado por suas famílias serem rivais, ambos estão destinados a apenas conversar através da fenda de um muro. Durante a conversa no muro, quando Pyramus chama por sua amada, John responde: "Meu amor, meu amor!" deixando Paul claramente sem graça com o ato. Depois de Pyramus (Paul) acreditar que sua amada foi morta pelo Leão e se lamentar com o luar, ele comete suicídio, claro, na pura brincadeira, e Thisbe (John) vem ao lado do "corpo" de Pyramus e começa a se lamentar, começando a descrever o quão ele era belo. No final, Thisbe também comete suicídio para se juntar a seu amado e ambos deitam no chão de mãos dadas. (*Mais tarde, não sei ao certo o ano, Paul deu um gato para John chamado Pyramus e John deu a ele uma gata chamada Thisbe em homenagem a seus personagens).

Sobre as entrevistas dadas na época, além do jeito descontraído e engraçado dos meninos, havia muito dos dois completarem as frases uns dos outros, ou, geralmente, John respondia por Paul. Por exemplo: em uma entrevista McCartney disse para o entrevistador que mostrava notícias sobre os Beatles em jornais "Você compra jornais baratos" e John completa "com notícias baratas"; Outro exemplo foi quando perguntaram a McCartney "Paul, o que você espera encontrar na Austrália [que seria a próxima turnê]" e John respondeu por ele "Eu suponho que Australianos".

Porém em uma entrevista em que fãs mandava perguntas aos garotos de Liverpool, as fãs perceberam um bracelete de prata que Paul usava com muita frequência e perguntado quem deu à ele respondeu que "ganhei de uma pessoa muito especial". Se fosse de sua noiva, Jane, não precisaria esconder, afinal todos sabiam. Se fosse seus pais ele também diria, mas preferiu esconder. Seguindo a lógica de que ele começou a usar no início dos anos 60, só pode ter sido John que tenha dado à ele talvez em Paris, e por isso ele teria motivos para esconder. Esse bracelete Paul McCartney usa até os dias de hoje durante shows.

Depois do lançamento do Beatles For Sale, que é uma sátira ao cansaço das turnês e interesse das pessoas, entramos em 1965. Esse ano, John se tornou cada vez mais depressivo (Lennon sempre teve depressão, ele precisava de ajuda, mas parecia que ninguém se importava e a cada vez que ele ficava mais famoso, parecia que piorava), e isso, claro, influenciou suas músicas vindo o novo álbum 'Help!'. A música que dá nome ao álbum é claramente um pedido de socorro de Lennon. Vinha nesse álbum outras músicas melancólicas como You've Got To Hide Your Love Away e Yesterday.

Em um desses momentos de melancolia, John se perguntava se um dia as pessoas se lembrariam dele e como. Claramente, Paul levantou sua auto estima.

"Certa vez ele [John] estava sozinho e parecia inseguro, 'John Lennon? Inseguro?'[brincou] pois é, então eu perguntei o que tinha acontecido e ele dizia que as pessoas um dia poderiam não se lembrar mais dele, me assustei com aquilo então eu disse: 'John, olha pra mim! As pessoas vão se lembrar da pessoa incrível que você é, porque você é uma pessoa incrível' e ele apenas sorriu." (Paul McCartney)

"[Paul] forneceu uma leveza, um otimismo, enquanto eu sempre ficava triste, as discórdias, as notas blues. Havia um período em que pensei que não escrevi melodias, que Paul escreveu aquelas e acabei de escrever. Mas, claro, quando penso em algumas das minhas próprias músicas, In My Life, ou alguma das primeiras, This Boy, eu estava escrevendo melodia com o melhor deles." (John Lennon - Playboy | 1980)

You've Got To Hide Your Love Away é uma música que expressa sobre esconder o seu próprio amor. Por que John teria que esconder seu amor por Cynthia? Afinal ele estava casado com ela e a essa altura, a mídia inteira já sabia, e não havia motivos para esconder (muitos acreditam que é sobre ela por Brian querer que John escondesse que era casado). Além disso, ele diz que as pessoas riem dele, o julgam, por causa desse amor. Por que julgaria ele com Cynthia? Mas podiam muito bem fazer isso com ele e Paul.

Yesterday foi composta por Paul McCartney. É uma melancólica música onde não precisava de guitarras ou bateria, apenas um quarteto de cordas de um violão. Essa música foi admirada pelo público e mídia se tornando a mais regravada da história. Pela mesma ser creditada Lennon-McCartney, muitos confundiam e achavam que era de John, o que o deixava irritado. Na primeira apresentação dessa música, John brincou trazendo um buquê de flores à Paul para parabenizá-lo, porém fez uma pequena brincadeira e ainda fez questão de voltar ao microfone dizendo "Obrigada, Ringo! Foi ótimo!".

1965 foi um ano bastante turbulento. Gravaram outro filme, dessa vez chamado Help!, esse não foi tão aclamado e os próprios Beatles não gostaram dele. Nesse mesmo, há a cena onde toca a música 'Another Girl', onde Paul carrega uma garota em seu colo, nisso, a atriz que fez essa garota diz ter sido ameaçada por John e o tempo todo durante a cena ele a olhava com um olhar ameaçador (como sempre, John ciumento).

Em agosto de 65 fizeram o show no estádio Shea Statium, foram a primeira banda a fazer shows em um estádio. Mais tarde John contaria que esse show foi muito importante, nele vemos o carisma dos garotos, o fato de John sempre esquecer o nome dos álbuns e aonde está cada música onde Paul lembrava pra ele é muito engraçado. Uma coisa nesse show que chama muito a atenção para o McLennon é quando ambos cantam Ticket To Ride, nele os dois permanecem focados, apenas cantando dividindo o mesmo microfone e olhando um para o outro, nenhuma vez olham para o público, como se existissem apenas os dois alí.

Os Beatles foram condecorados com MBE (Membros Honorários da Realeza Britânica) que foi dada pela própria rainha em agradecimento a contribuição na música pelo país e mundo afora. E foi nesse ano que começaram a gravar vídeo clipes, dirigidos por Michael Lindsay-Hogg, onde vemos muitas vezes um McLennon bem clichê, como uma troca de olhares quase obrigatórios nos clipes, sorissinhos, brincadeiras, principalmente da parte de John.

Ainda em 65, John e Paul gravaram um programa chamado'The Music Of Lennon and McCartney' produzida por Granada Television, onde mostravam covers de suas músicas apresentados por artistas da época.

No final do ano, lançava Rubber Soul, o álbum que marcou e evolução da banda, por mostrar músicas menos inocente e mais maduras, afinal, não eram mais adolescente, trazendo assim uma das músicas mais clássicas da banda, In My Life, e uma que trazia a cítara indiana, Norwegian Wood (esse mesmo álbum foi chamado de "disco da erva" por John Lennon, pois foi nesse período que iniciaram o consumo da maconha, que claramente influenciou suas músicas).

Ainda falando de 1965, John Lennon foi convidado pelo fotógrafo famoso David Bailey para fazer um photoshoot, afinal, David era muito fã do músico e parecia ter maior interesse nele. John concordou com a idéia, porém ele não foi sozinho como David esperava, ele levou Paul, como uma forma de mostrar que McCartney era importante, e assim foi feito o photoshoot mais conhecido da dupla, sendo também o favorito dos dois. O foco de Bailey era mostrar antipatia entre os dois, como uma rivalidade, porém as fotos mostram a parceria entre os dois e, olhando a grosso modo, chega a ser romântico, principalmente a mais clássica em que Paul está sentado e John com o queixo repousado sob sua cabeça e os braços em volta de seu pescoço.

Mas há uma história por trás disso que nunca foi esclarecida: Gloria Hunniford, que trabalhava com David Bailey na época, diz ter visto John Lennon fazendo sexo passivo com David antes do tão famoso photoshoot. Ela viria a dizer que é fácil contar coisas sobre ele depois que está morto, porque se John estivesse vivo, teria dado um jeito de contornar esse boato. Por falta de provas, essa história nunca foi levada muito a sério, é mais um mito do que verdade, mas se seguirmos os fatos, pode até faz sentido.

Em 1966, foi um ano mais calmo para os Beatles. Exaustos com as viagens, os garotos anunciaram que parariam de fazer turnês, justificando que suas músicas estavam ganhando arranjos maiores e mais complexos, sendo difícil reproduzir nos palcos; e também porque ambos já não conseguiam ouvir o que cantavam e tocavam, pois os gritos das fãs impediam; além da polêmica a ver com Jesus que a banda se meteu, tudo por causa de um comentário feito por Lennon. Paul começou a investir em estudos maiores em livros, influenciando os outros músicos da banda. O álbum da vez foi o Revolver, esse foi um clássico assim como os outros, mas uma gravação em particular foi Tomorrow Never Knows, a primeira música psicodélica da história, isso mostrava o que estaria para vir mais tarde.

Nesse álbum há também uma música que seria a favorita de John e Paul, Here, There And Everywhere.

Essa música foi escrita por Paul McCartney com a ajuda de Lennon. Paul foi a casa de seu parceiro em Weybrigde e o encontrou dormindo em uma espreguiçadeira a beira da piscina de sua mansão, por não querer acordá-lo, McCartney pôs-se a escrever a canção admirando Lennon enquanto dormia. Em certo momento ele acordou e terminaram a música juntos. Paul disse que John havia confessado para ele que aquela era sua música favorita da banda, de todas que já tinham feito, e isso era de se surpreender, pois ele nunca disse isso sobre nenhuma música, John nunca foi de elogios, e Paul contou que se essa era a música favorita de Lennon, era a dele também.

"Nós estávamos tocando um cassete de nossas novas gravações e minha música Here, There And Everywhere estava ligada.  E eu me lembro de John dizendo: "Você sabe, eu provavelmente gosto disso melhor do que qualquer uma das minhas músicas". Vindo de John, esse foi um grande elogio de fato." (Paul McCartney - Anthology)

Nesse período, John estava gravando um filme em particular, o How I Won The War, sendo o único que ele gravaria sem os outros Beatles, na Espanha, mas fez uma pausa nas gravações viajando assim para Paris e descansar, encontrando Paul por lá se escondendo com disfarces. Lembrando, eles já foram para Paris juntos, na primeira vez em 1961, agora estavam em 1966, cinco anos depois, seria uma forma de talvez relembrar o que seja lá tenha acontecido.

"Eles medem você e combinam com a cor do seu cabelo, então era como um bigode genuíno com cola real.  E eu tinha alguns pares de óculos feitos com lentes transparentes, o que me fez parecer um pouco diferente.  Eu coloquei um longo casaco azul e alisei meu cabelo para trás e apenas passei por aí e é claro que ninguém me reconheceu.  Foi bom, foi bastante libertador para mim [...] foi um eco da viagem que John e eu fizemos a Paris para seu vigésimo primeiro aniversário” (Paul McCartney - Many Years For Now, Barry Miles)

Porém foi em novembro de 1966 que John Lennon conheceu Yoko Ono, artista plástica japonesa, em uma de suas exposições em Londres. Yoko não conhecia John, não sabia que ele era o cantor tão renomado na Inglaterra e no mundo, talvez seja isso que cativou o jovem músico (há pessoas que acreditam que isso é mentira, que Yoko sabia muito bem quem era o John e já estava atrás dele a muito tempo). Ambos se admiravam em segredo, pois eram casados e tinham filhos. John talvez tenha mostrado maior interesse em Yoko pois ela era uma mulher forte como sua mãe e tia, ela lutava por aquilo que acreditava, tinha o pensamento muito parecido com o de Lennon e isso os atraiu como um ímã. McCartney passou a apresentar certo ciúmes, mas por enquanto apenas tinham se conhecido, não haviam tido maiores contatos, porque apesar de tudo, John se sentia conectado a Paul.

1967 talvez tenha sido o ano onde os dois estavam em mais paz e harmonia. Adotaram um novo estilo pois a banda havia entrado na psicodelia, sendo usada roupas coloridas, bigodes e largavam os cabelos iguais e passaram a ter estilos individuais. Ambos apareciam muitas vezes passeando por lugares públicos, sem se importar com as pessoas que os veriam, cada vez mais se importavam menos, por vezes levavam Martha, a cadela Sheepdog de Paul, para passear no parque; iam a casa um do outro ou dirigiam as vezes até sem rumo para vários lugares. Pareciam finalmente estarem em paz, e tem um motivo para isso: Em 1967, o homossexualismo deixou de ser crime na Inglaterra, já era um grande avanço para uma era tão preconceituosa, então seja por isso que se sentiam-se mais a vontade nessa época.

Sobre a carreira da banda, como já citado, tinham entrado na psicodelia lançando o álbum Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, eleito pela Rolling Stones o melhor álbum da história da música. Esse mesmo foi totalmente arquitetado por Paul McCartney, a ordem das músicas, a capa, o nome, tudo foi ele, então isso mostrava que ele tinha ganhado certo controle da banda na época, porém, depois do sucesso significativo do álbum, talvez é claro, Paul tenha ficado um pouco metido e egocêntrico o que pode ter despertado certo desconforto dos companheiros de banda.

Mais tarde, gravaram e lançaram o Magical Mystery Tour, este foi idéia da dupla Lennon-McCartney, que veio junto de um filme dirigido por Paul que foi péssimo em vendas e crítica. Em compensação, nesse mesmo álbum vinha o tão famoso hino All You Need Is Love que foi apresentado na primeira transmissão ao vivo mundial, o Our World, nele cantaram como se fosse uma mensagem para o mundo de que tudo que você precisa é amor.

Analisando All You Need Is Love, vemos que já no início temos uma orquestra que toca o início do hino nacional francês (França? Paris? Hummm). Vemos nela que enfatizam que o que precisamos é amor, apenas isso, querendo dizer assim que o mundo precisa esquecer os preconceitos, brigas, conflitos em gerais e focarem no amor, não precisam julgar o amor, apenas ame, é isso que eles dizem. Essa música é um protesto contra vários fatores da época, mas não é o início de uma guerra, era necessário paz e amor! E foi nesse período que os seguidores do movimento hippie adotaram All You Need Is Love como o hino do movimento.

"Disseram-nos que seríamos gravados pelo mundo inteiro ao mesmo tempo.  Então nós tivemos uma mensagem para o mundo - amor.  Precisamos de mais amor no mundo." (Paul McCartney no Our World - 1967)

Estavam indo muito bem em 1967, algo muito sincero e amoroso, mas o que viria daqui para frente mudaria muito as coisas e desviaram o caminho dos dois várias vezes até ser tarde demais.

Com a grande ligação de George com a cultura indiana, o mesmo convidou seus colegas de banda para um retiro espiritual na Índia, onde aprenderiam a meditação transcendental com o guru Maharishi Maheshi Yogi. O objetivo era se desligar um pouco do mundo, ter um momento de paz, largando todas as drogas se tornando limpos para encontrarem sua aura pacífica. Os membros da banda levaram suas respectivas esposas/noivas, foi um período relaxante no começo. Mas logo quando chegaram lá, receberam a notícia de que seu empresário, Brian Epstein, havia morrido numa overdose de medicamentos. Isso foi um choque enorme para os quatro, sem Brian, não teriam quem cuidasse da parte financeira da banda, e outra, ele não era só um funcionário, fazia parte daquilo, era um amigo muito próximo.

Após alguns dias na Índia houve certos conflitos. Ringo abandou a Índia na primeira semana alegando que aquilo não era para ele então disse aos meninos que voltaria a Inglaterra. Paul ficou apenas um mês, já John e George três meses. Mas fica a questão do que realmente aconteceu na Índia que quando a dupla mais unida estava agora tão diferente.

Como citado acima, em 1967 o homossexualismo deixou de ser crime ou algo parecido, e por isso, o puro sentimento e lado impulsivo de John falou mais alto, talvez ele realmente tenha pedido à Paul que esse relacionamento fosse aberto, que Lennon saísse de seu casamento agora já em declínio e Paul deixaria Jane, assim o mundo inteiro agora saberia, por mais que fosse difícil. Porém McCartney deve ter negado rapidamente sendo mais racional com era não querer colocar sua carreira, a banda, fama, tudo isso em jogo, deixando John obviamente arrasado. Se tem uma coisa que John demorava para demonstrar era seus sentimentos, sempre foi inseguro com relação a isso, então quando finalmente quis mostrar o que sentia seu coração foi esmagado, isso talvez explicaria sua mudança de humor repentina, se tornando mais frio e ácido que antes. Já Paul pensou nos dois, queria manter do jeito que estava porque se tornasse algo maior talvez não aguentariam a pressão do mundo, as pessoas os julgando, mas com isso acabou machucando aquele que mais amava e a ferida ficaria aberta por anos, por isso mais tarde Paul se mostraria mais depressivo e melancólico.

Claro que isso é só uma hipótese do que teria acontecido, mas uma coisa é certeza, nada mais foi igual depois da Índia.

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Parte 1 :

The Girl With Sun In Her Eyes

McLennon (1/4)

"in the early days" McLennon é o termo usado para definir o casal John Lennon e Paul McCartney. Esse mesmo termo foi criado pelo próprio Len

...

Parte 3 :

The Girl With Sun In Her Eyes

McLennon (3/4)

"I nearly broke down and cried" Voltaram no início do ano de 1968. John agora na Inglaterra descobriu que a artista plástica, Yoko Ono tinha

He was too good for the world! Too handsome. Too kind. May he rest in peace.

Brian Epstein | © Albert Marrion

Of course it's a dad joke (he has taken in four lost teddy boys)

Also, amazing humour

Brian Epstein 1960s Autographed Fishing For Compliments Greetings Card

An original Fishing For Compliments greetings card that that was commissioned by Brian Epstein. It has been autographed by Brian in blue ballpoint pen. The card has his home address 4 Chapel Street, London, SW1 printed on the inside at the bottom.

(source)

𝟏𝟗𝟓𝟗.

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓕𝓻𝓾𝓲𝓽𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓔𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓸𝓾𝓻

𝙎𝘼𝘾𝙍𝙄𝙁𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝙎𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙎

Julia’s Diary

Today was wild.

So, I was doing my chem homework, organic chemistry (drawing all those silly hexagons) when I hear the doorbell.

“Julia, get the door please, I’m in the bathroom washing the clothes.”, Mimi ordered. I sigh.

“Fine.”, I ran downstairs to the door. Opening the door I see… Paul!

“What are you doing here?”, I ask him.

“Have I come at the wrong time? I wanted to surprise John, I had a great idea for a song.”

Well, he surprised him.

“You appeared so suddenly.”

“John does that to me so much.”, Paul remarked with a soft smile. I blushed.

“What’s that song like? I ask John about your songs, but he always wants to finish something to the end so I never get the feel of your process.”

“Johnny being secretive, of course.”, Paul giggled, “I have listened to Elvis recently and I decided to move his chords down on me guitar and I liked the melody… I wish I could show ya, but I forgot the dumb thing, not thinking. I just wanted to get to John’s as fast as possible.”

“The melody just dawns on ya?”, I asked him for fun… As John I never got to talk with Paul about this in a more formal way, “I know the feeling, I write poetry in my freetime, the text just appears before me. Don’t worry about the guitar. You could always play on John’s.”

Paul was staring at me.

“You’re right, Julia.”, he smiled wide, “And you write too? Maybe you could help us two with rhymes or somethin’?”

“No, I trust you two can get the job done.”, I wanted to disappear.

Paul frowned.

“Will you at least give me some advice? Or critique?”

I cackled, “Of course, you git!”

I mentally facepalm myself for this, because John usually says that.

Paul took it well. He entertained me with some more topics and I didn’t notice when Mimi put a hand on my shoulder.

“Oh, it’s your-young man himself, John’s little friend.”, it was the most effective save.

“Hello, Mrs. Smith.”, Paul politely greeted my aunt. 

“I should go get John.”, I said.

I went to John’s room and saw his clothes on the heater. Wet. 

“Okay.”, I thought, “Second solution; get bandages and some of my clothes that can pass as masculine. I feel sorry for John.“

And half of my masculine clothes were dirty and the other was wet like John’s clothes!

“Fucking hell.”, I swore.

It looked like I would be spending most of the day at home and without Paul. My thoughts were “God fucking damn it! I need to be more careful! I was reckless as John and Julia. I failed twice. And now I have to send Paul home.”

I go down the stairs with sadness. I somehow got myself together and told Paul, “Paul, John is not here currently.”

“What? He is always home at this time!”, Paul panicked because he liked when his plans go exactly how he imagined, “God. Mrs. Smith, do you know where John went?”

Mimi’s eyes widened.

“I don’t know… He didn’t tell me where he went.”

“Oh, he could be anywhere! I have to find him!”, Paul decided.

Why must he complicate things!

“Paul, he is fine really, trust me, I’m his twin!”, I told him.

“No, I have to check some places, and that fact makes me think you should go with me!”, Paul smiled.

“No, I’ll wait for him.”, I rejected his offer. But his offer couldn’t be rejected.

“Mrs. Smith, us two are going to search for him!”, he dragged me off.

“Paul, Paul, what do you think you’re doing?”, I asked him, while he didn’t slow down.

“I am taking another person with me to balance out my panic? Smart, huh!”

“Yeah, you’re smart but you’re mostly cute.”, I regret that compliment.

He turned his head toward me.

“John could be at the Cavern Club so we’ll go there first.”, he slowed down to a walking pace.

That’s when I knew this was going to be a long day. I wanted to escape that situation and tell Paul I’m John. But John would be compromised so… A long day was the better choice. 

“Wait here, I ask them if John has appeared.”

I waited for Paul. Paul calmly asked for John and the owner answered he hadn’t seen any of the Beatles since the last gig they played. Paul was sad.

“John wasn’t here.”

“Of course, it’s day, it would make more sense if he’d gone to Cyn’s.”, I mumbled.

“Julia, you’re a genius!”, he took my hand in preparation to run like a madman again.

And that’s when I furiously blushed.

“Let’s go to Cynthia’s.”, he began running and made a hard stop, “Wait, I don’t know where Cynthia lives.”

“It’s lucky you got her best friend by your side.”, I told him, letting go of his hand and leading him.

“How does it feel to have your brother date your best friend?”, this question made me laugh inside but I decided to be serious and make up a story about jealousy.

“I dunno, I think he could be brash with you and I’m afraid it will affect Cyn.”, I answered.

“I think he is quite sweet with her!”, Paul stepping into John’s defence was cute as hell, “I know he could be violent and agressive, but he always defends Cynthia and honours her desicions, privacy and time. Though I admit, he is possessive. But Cynthia could be clingy and possessive too.”

“You can’t say that against her!”, I defended Cyn, “Cyn barely sees him because of your practices.”

“You have a point, but sticking around during that time could be distracting for Johnny.”

“Well, John making a mess in front of her parents could be distracting for Cyn.”

I made a reminder to write in here that I shouldn’t be that overreactive to Cyn because it makes her look bad, even though it solidifies our “relationship”.

We arrived at Cyn’s.

I rang the doorbell, and her highness, Cynthia Powell, or Lennon if we continue doing this forever, came out with her hair full of curlers.

“Jules! What is the occassion?”, she noticed me first, “I didn’t think we were going out today?”

“Hi, Cyn, have you perhaps seen John?”, I asked.

Cynthia began laughing because I just asked where I was.

“I wish I had… We haven’t gone out in a while…”

I gave Paul the look of  “See?”

“Perhaps you could give us some more information where he could be?”, Paul asked with a scoff.

“He isn’t at Jules’ so… Because Paul’s here you checked the Tavern… You could check the record store!”

Paul lit up. Cyn did me a favour. At least I could see some new records.

“Bye, Cynthia!”, Paul dragged me again.

“Hey! Cyn, bye!”, I shouted for Cyn to hear me, “Why are you leading again!”

“Too slow.”, he said, “We were just fast walking! He could’ve got to the end of Liverpool by now!”

“Paul! Don’t worry your pretty head about it!”, I made a hard stop!

“Why’d ya stop!”

“John wouldn’t run anywhere. He’s lazy about stuff.”

“I’ll slow down then.”, he still held me by my hand, “But we are faster walking!”

I chuckled at his behaviour. I love him so much, my dear diary, I do.

“So, Cynthia calls you Jules?”

“Yeah… Almost all of my friends call me that. Even though my name isn’t shortened in anyway.”

“But it is cooler.”, god, my heart melted for that boy right then.

“Right on the mark, fella’”, my John was showing through.

We entered NEMS, a music store which began selling new records. I wanted to check it out for a while. Inside were two people, an older gentleman and a younger man who was becoming an intern I guess? The fresh intern went to the staff room. I was starry eyed! Records upon records upon more records! Paul felt like home too by his expression. 

“John and I have to check it out together! I could even bring George here.”

“Yeah, I’d love to look at this too.”, I sighed.

“You can come with us!”, Paul looked into my eyes.

“I dunno.”

Paul used the “puppy dog eyes” on me.

“You think we aren’t cool enough? Or maybe that we’re boring! Or… small?”

I remembered I was two years older than him.

“You are a bunch of nerds, and I am, so deal.”, I made an unfulfillable promise.

He happily leads me to the counter to ask for John.

“Hi!”

“Hello.”, the older gentleman said.

“Um, have you seen about this high-”, he pointed to me, “boy with a quiff like me and similar outfit enter today?”

The older gentleman gently smiled.

“No. I’d remember a teddy boy if I saw one. My son, Brian, always points them out, today is the day he becomes the director, so you’ll see him more. It’s a shame he isn’t working at the cash register today, he is great with this new record craze.”

So, that younger man is his son.

“Oh congrats.”, I politely congratulate him.

“I hope you find your friend soon.”, he wished us luck.

“I hope too.”, Paul said, “And thank you, good luck to your son.”

Paul is always so polite. It was already lunchtime, and I think Paul is hungry. Paul and I would usually go for a snack right about now so I knew where Paul was heading. Our favourite restaurant spot wasn't far from NEMS. I wanted to curse Paul for pulling me everywhere, but I didn’t have time. Paul headed to our favourite waitress which John relentlessly teased. Paul was intelligent, of course he’d head for her! 

“I didn’t spot any Lennon.”, she infeciously giggled, “Except his sister behind ya.”

Another fooled woman. Just how charming was my illusion?

Paul came close to me grabbing my hand.

“John’s not here, time to go.”

“Paul, you need to eat something!”, I said sternly, “You’re hungry!”

“No, I’m not!”, he was angry.

His stomach grumbled.

“Your digestive system says otherwise.”, I made a medical pun! A medical pun. So uncool.

Paul sighed, “Then we’ll grab some grub and continue searching. I hope John’s okay…”

He cares about me so much…

We sat on our… John’s and his favourite spot. Usually John would make some unnecessary puns at the waitress so I decided to do the absolute opposite.

“So, what’ll it be for you and Lennon?”, she was joking.

“I would like the usual.”

I would love to say the usual, but.

“I would like a burger, no fries, with a Coke. That’s it.”, I was straightforward with listing my favourite order.

“Siblings have similar taste.”, she chuckled and then she gasped.

“What?”, I panicked.

“Nothing nothing, just a funny little thought.”, she looked at Paul, “I mean you even share friends.”

“This is just pure coincidence, your Johnny went missing.”, I explained.

“He went missing!”

“Yes, why would I, his best friend, be asking if he was here?”

“Then we will hurry up with your orders, lovebirds.”, she’s done it.

“What?”, Paul was pink from embarrassment.

I facepalmed myself.

“At least our food will come faster without a prolonged battle of wits.”

“You really are something, Jules. Never seen a girl be this direct in my life.”

I raised my eyebrow.

“You haven’t met enough of us lad.”, I pat him on the head unconsciously.

I realized it when he said, “Haven’t had a good chance to talk with you.”

I quickly got my hand off, “Oh.”

“Usually I look at birds, I mean girls as people who like cute clothes, organizing themselves, having fun, following trends, wearing makeup, doing their hair… Geo would describe a typical girl as “Cynthia”.”

“George isn’t right. Cynthia is a great girlie, she loves art and enrolled into a great college and is doing gear.”

“Not in that right, but like… What I said before that. You are not like that. You are… A girl's girl, though, hum, you’re into records like John and dress more casually. You don’t draw attention.”

“Are you saying I’m not feminine enough?”, I got angry.

Paul got more pink.

“I-I jus-just think you being different is cool, because you-you aren’t interested in men, um, noticing you. You are just you.”, he calmed down. I didn’t see him mutter so much, except when he lied to Dot and when a cute girl approaches him.

“You are lying.”

He got pink.

“No. I mean it! Cross my heart. Which girl has such a cool nickname? Only you.”

My dreams came true, I could’ve died at that moment. I was red for sure.

“That’s enough. You need to hang out with more women.”

Our food arrived hot from the oven. We take it out.

“Bye!”, Paul and I say.

“When you find Johnny, tell him he shouldn’t disappear on you like that ever again!”

“I will teach him a lesson.”, I told her.

“Oh, Paulie, you should watch out! The stories are true! While Johnny is too intelligent for his own good, she is too intelligent for our good.”

I roll my eyes, while Paul laughed. I couldn’t help but smile.

“I know where we should go! You were right, this literally was food for thought!”

“Where?”

“Strawberry Fields!”, Paul took my hand and blushed…

“I won’t drag ya this time… Just keep up.”

“Alright, Paul.”, he led and I trailed behind him, quickly catching up. 

Strawberry Fields was further than any spot we visited so far. Paul wasn’t up for a talk now, I could see by his focused face and huffing. He was really worried for John. 

We arrived in record time for us two, just ten minutes of  “faster walking”.

“JOHN!!!”, Paul shouted scaring people in the park, “Julia, you take the left side of the park and I’ll take the right, we’ll meet at the fountain okay?”

God, I will have to scream an imaginary person’s name to convince Paul and the others. This seems so fucking funny.

“John!”, I shouted everytime before entering another part of the park.

I asked around for myself. I wanted to die of embarassment and laughter everytime. I had to go to some bush to laugh it out. My search was of course fruitless and I gave up pretending and went to the bench. I got my worried face on. I had to act. Because this really was the last place I would think of going. Paul came with a deathly afraid face without hope.

“Where is John, where the hell is he?”, Paul loudly elaborated.

“I know he’s fine. I’m sure of it. He is home surely, we just didn’t have any luck to run into him-”

“HOW COULD YOU KNOW! YOU HAVEN’T HAD A REAL CONVERSATION WITH HIM FOR MONTHS, JULIA!”, Paul screamed, “WHO KNOWS WHERE HE COULD BE! MAYBE HE WAS SADDENED BY YOUR NONCHANLANT ACTING!”

Paul put his hands on his mouth. I sold the image about Julia and John’s relationship too well.

“Paul… I didn’t know he felt that way. I could be naggy and too logical sometimes…”

“We are emotional too! We’re not queer for being that way.”, Paul got upset real fast.

“Paul, Paul…”, I pat him on the shoulder. I made my angel upset. I did that. My lack of planning made this day awful. Paul felt insecure for being called queer.

“People call you that?”

“My eyes… My eyelashes to be exact.”, he pointed, “My "pigeon" chest. My dainty figure.”

“You are not dainty.”, I defended him, “You are a man like any other!”

“I don't think I'm like John.”, oh Paulie…

“He is so brave and strong. He can stand up to anyone… Don’t tell him, but I really think he’s my coolest and my biggest idol. He is George’s too.”

I’m an idol? I’m like Elvis already. Jokes on me.

“That’s why he is fine, Paul. I won’t tell him, I promise.”

You told him yourself Paul.

A small pause.

“You know.”

He looks into my eyes.

“He respects you a lot too. He told me last time we spoke. His words were “Macca can play so well he could best any Liverpool player.”. I trust him on that McCartney.”

“He even in private calls me Macca…”, his words wandered off, “I’m glad you told me.”

He hugged me. It was late afternoon.

“If you want, we can go to my house and check if John’s back? If not, we could ask aunt Mimi to make us some tea. John bought a tin of Digestives for when you and George come by.”

“That’s nice of him.”, Paul smiled, “I’m sorry for dragging you so suddenly… I was so drawn in by my best friend going missing that I didn't even want to listen to reason.”

“It’s alright. I should’ve gone with you and searched, you did the right thing. And I had fun. Though it was stressful. I have seen the new NEMS record selection and had time to talk with John’s little friend.”

Paul blushed profusely. 

“Not so little aren’t I?”

I wanted to kiss him on the lips at that moment but I held myself together.

“Yeah. You aren’t. You're a big boy now.”

He looked at my chin.

“Yeah, yeah.”, he let me lead the way.

“What a gentleman.”, I chuckled.

“Only for a lady like you, Julia.”, he smiled sadly. His day did go to waste. John’s clothes are dry for sure so he will see his Johnny today. Now I was speeding up.

“Oi! Now, you are going too fast! Aren’t you tired?”

“Exactly why I am “faster walking”.”, I lied.

“I follow.”, he giggled.

“I love your smile, Paul.”, I regret that too.

“I love yours too, Julia, it’s beautiful. It suits you as it suits John.”

He called our smiles beautiful! Paul loves us! And respects us!

We ran and arrived at my house at sunset. I rang the doorbell.

Aunt Mimi didn’t get the door and we heard some shouting.

“JOHN WINSTON LENNON! YOU ARE GROUNDED! GOING TO STRAWBERRY FIELDS THEN COMING BACK DIRTY AS A PIG! AND TO THINK MY INNOCENT LITTLE NEPHEW WOULD DO THIS!”

Aunt Mimi was smart.

“Looks like we found Johnny.”, I sighed full of relief.

“You were correct about him being fine! Oh, Jules, you’re so cool!”

Wow, now that I write that down, I can’t believe that happened, but it did.

We heard some steps and aunt Mimi opened the door.

“No need to explain, auntie!”, I said.

“I’m glad you don’t cause so much stress, Jules.”, she patted me on the head, “My innocent little niece. Your poor little friend can sit down. John will come down, Julia will go and help him clean himself up.”

I hug her. I sent her a “thank you” look.

“Yes, auntie!”, I tried to go upstairs.

“Julia, I had fun!”, he said without reason. Maybe he knew I wouldn’t come down. So. I did the unthinkable.

“Me too, thank you for this day Paul.”, I hugged him and ran upstairs.

I knew my aunt was going to pester him about this.

I went to John’s room again and the clothes were dry. I got some already dirty towels and clothes on the floor. I put on my bandages, dressed up, fixed up my hair and put on makeup. And I was done! Great! Just great. I didn’t get to spend the whole day working with Paul! I haven't heard his idea yet! Maybe he lost it by now. Just because of mine and Julia’s poor planning.

I left my room and went downstairs just to be greeted with Paul’s hug.

“JOHN! YOU GIT!”, he squeezed me hard.

“I missed ya too lad.”, I said.

“YOU WENT OUT WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING! YOU IMBECILE!”

“I went outside for a ciggy and inspiration, and everyone gets their knickers in a twist? Though outside meant some bushes in Strawberry Fields.”

“Where’s Jules? Can you ask her to come down with the guitar?”, he got pink again.

“You want her or the guitar?”, I joked.

“Um, I want both!”, he got defensive.

“You like my sister?”, I am a special kind of cunt.

“NO. I was wondering where she is…”

“She has become one with the bed, bloody tired from runnin’ after ya. Literally heard ya dragged her to find me, knight in shining armour.”

He blushed again.

“I apologized.”

“I know.”, I let off, “I’ll get the guitar. I hope Mimi isn’t too mad.”

“From what I’ve heard, she is.”

I get my guitar quickly. I’m back to see that Mimi is letting me hang out with Paul.

“I convinced her to let us work.”

“You are still grounded.”, Mimi stated.

“I’m not a kid anymore.”

“Until you’re 21, you are a child, John.”

I sighed. Thank you for looking out for me.

“I have this melody I have to show ya.”, that was the reason he came.

“Great. I have some text and melodies to show ya too.”

“We could combine them. Oh, do you know your sister writes poetry? It’s similar to you. Both of you start with text.”

“Oh… She didn’t tell me.”, I faked being disappointed.

“And she has some mannerisms like you, and she speaks her mind, and she has a good taste in music, her smile is similar and”

He paused for a second laughing.

He knows too much! Distraction, fast, distraction!

“You indeed like her.”, I spouted not thinking. Though this would be so nice if it were true.

“I wanted to say, that that makes you siblings for sure and shows how much time you spend together.”, Paul rolled his eyes, “Do you want me to get with your sister? You think people like your sister are my type?”

“They aren’t…”, I sighed, “I’m joking Macca. You know me.”

“It isn’t a very nice joke.”, he pouted.

“Oh, now jokes have to be nice?”, I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Jokes have to offend somebody otherwise they aren’t funny.”, a nugget of knowledge from John Winston Lennon.

“What’s next? It’s okay because the ends justify the means.”, Paul made a great joke worth a laugh.

We went to my room and sat on my bed discussing the melodies and text… We had a blast.

“You sure we aren’t too loud for Jules?”, he was worried.

“Oh, no… She sleeps like a log.”, I made up some new story on the spot.

He chuckles.

“I know now why you can’t stand each other!”, he thought to himself.

“Why Macca dear?”, I came closer.

He closed in, a hair away from my nose.

“Because you are too similar.”, he turned around, making me jump! God, I was being queer again! Stop!

“Yeah.”

Late night. Meaning Paulie has to go home. 

“I must head out.”, he poshly elaborated.

“I’ll see ya to the door, Mr. McCartney.”

“You know, your aunt has been making eyes at my behaviour because your sister thanked me for a great day.”

“So, I’m not the only one. Mimi is a queen.”

“Mr. Lennon, you drive me crazy.”

“Crazy? I drive you mad huh?”, I played with the word.

Paul rolled his eyes.

“Wanted to say mad with love?”

“Mad with power! God, Paulie, you and your love stuff. And you have to stop setting yourself up for queer jokes.”, I ruffled his hair.

“Thanks Lenny, now I have less ruffling to do.”

“Always at your service, Macca.”

“See ya, Johnny.”

“Goodbye, Paulie.”

I closed the door and was relieved.

“Julia Victoria Lennon, I trust you won’t be going out as John for two weeks?”, Mimi was washing the dishes.

“I promise, Mimi, I’m so glad you exist. How did you know we were coming?”, I went to the kitchen.

“Oh, I was watching every couple of minutes to check if you are near. When I saw you in the distance, I began screaming a bit earlier and repeated the whole sequence in a circle.”

“Auntie, you are very smart and I promise you as your smart niece that I won’t get into this mess again.”

“John is still grounded!”, Mimi was difficult.

“That sucks!”

“Your little friend understands. He respects John and respects me, so he’ll wait out.”, she put down the sponge.

“And my gigs?”

“Go and cancel them.”, she looked me straight into the eyes.

“Not even the gigs?”

“Not even them. Learn your lesson.”

“I’ll help ya around the house, just don’t make it two weeks.”

“Maybe I’ll look over next week's gigs, but this week no.”

“Oh! Great. Good night, Mimi.”, I put the chairs in their places and went upstairs to tidy up my room. I got out of my outfit. Always a nice feeling when I get off of bandages, almost as good as when I get in them. I take off my makeup. I wash and dress fresh. 

And now I’m here writing this down. What did I think of this day? Exactly what I wrote at the beginning plus…

I’m not letting myself make the same mistake ever again.

Rest of Sacrifame

𝟏𝟗𝟔𝟒.

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓢𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓮 𝓘𝓼 𝓢𝓮𝓽!

𝙎𝘼𝘾𝙍𝙄𝙁𝘼𝙈𝙀 𝙎𝙀𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙎

John’s Letters To Aunt Mimi

Dear Mimi,

We are in the bougie part of London, and we had such a lovely sunny March day (which is a lovely yet rare occurrence during springtime!) and we are making a motion picture. Can you believe it?! Yeah, I can’t either.

It’s fab as now people say because of us four! Gosh, I am so proud of them and me of course! Can’t forget about me!

Today was a long long day for shooting. We ultimately got nothing done… It was just a long train scene. We were all nervous. Imagine, even I, who is used to acting, got nervous. It’s a hard task to pull off a role taking upon another role. But it was fun. We had a great dinner afterwards. Georgie met this girl, and I think they will get together. You may very well have already seen the gal in a mag, Pattie Boyd, the model. She is cute, but not as beautiful as Twiggy or Doris Day or Grace Kelly. After the dinner I was a bit sad we didn’t get stuff done, but “my little friend” told me we will do better tomorrow, though I knew he was even more unsure than me. I told him “Paul if we fuck up, it’s fine, we still have each other.” Great words that. He lit up. And yeah, now I’m writing to ya… Aunt Mimi, I promise I’ll make ya proud, and make this film amazing!

Love ya lots,

John 

Dear Mimi,

we’ve finally filmed the train scene. I got comfortable with the camera and was acting like never before. Even more macho, even more humorous, even more witty. Wish you could’ve seen me, oh YEAH ya will! They say that if we continue at this pace the movie will be released in early July! I can’t wait for you to see all of our lines and our playing and so much stuff! 

To answer your questions. My boys and I are doing great and we are safe. They are not making us do stuff against our own will. We have a contract that prohibits tampering, at least that’s what Brian says. For the stores, I’ll promise I’ll go and check out some when I get the chance. I know how much you like it when I get new clothes and accessories… You just want me to enjoy things now and to spend the money I earn on fun things… Oh, Auntie. And to solve the next problem, I will take Paul with me. He has an eye for what fits me… He is my partner. I will take care of meself, I don’t always need the others or Paulie who you like to single out. Wish you could see how great the flats are!

Love ya lots,

John 

Dear Mimi,

we got a free day! So I decided to go shopping like you told me! I found some great clothes and shoes and I can't wait for you to see ‘em. One of the clothes is a yellow checkered puffy dress with a rose emblem on it, then there is a cute red dress and the combination of a white shirt with black dots and a pencil skirt. I got red pumps and black heels too! That’s done. Paul helped me choose them, he is so stylish… He and the lads greeted you!

I’m glad you are doing well, I cannot believe I forgot to ask you! John’s doing!  I’m so happy you have gone back to your hobby. I miss your hats. Can’t wait to get a new one. How are the other ladies? I hope you are talking to them, don’t get too lonely without me. Did you visit Mum? I hope you brought flowers for me too… It’s so unfair to both of us. I promise, when I come back I’ll keep ya company. I promise and you have this letter as proof I promised. I promise you as me, not my facade.

Love you,

your niece John

Dear Mimi,

everything is so bad. We are done “filming” all the scenes. Yay, I thought. But… Some scenes need to be redone. We have to “redub” some of our live singing. Why? I like it live! I love the studio but it is so stupid to dub live recordings… God, I am so frustrated. Brian and Paul don’t agree with George and me. Everyone thinks Brian is always right, well maybe he is, but this is a musical sin! They wanted to use our album recordings for it. The microphones were so bad they didn’t catch the “nuance of the Beatles playing”. What the hell are they talking about? We just strum. Still, I’m happy with the result we have currently though I am in a fight with Paul because of the stupid dubbing. Paul is so staunch on keeping his opinion, so stubborn! Well, John Winston Lennon is more stubborn than him!  I’ll show him… 

I am very glad the ladies are fine. You think of everything when you do something, Mimi. You even brought my favourite flower to bring her… You really are the greatest aunt. At these scumbags you would for sure scoff. They are so mean sometimes. And they smell bad. Money grubbing idiots. Not fit for a lady like you and Jules, but fit for me… Maybe I am filthy like them, John collects their filth… Julia remains clean. I wonder how clean can a person here be?

Love ya lots, 

John

Dear Mimi,

I’m barely able to write this letter, my rock and roll finger is hurting! Jokes aside, I listened to your solution for my fight with Paul, much to my dismay. Before that I was always on edge to beat him up and to pout at Brian. I formulated to him that what I meant was for us four to ask the film director to film all the scenes with us playing again with more cameras and better sound proofing so that the music would be live and prove to Brian that me and Geo were right. He was intrigued to say the least and gave in, after me bothering him more and more. We went to the film director and as it turns out, he doesn’t have the budget! The goddamn Beatles motion picture doesn’t have the budget! I was fuming! Paul looked like he was expecting such a response. He got on my nerves again. Though, I won’t forget he supported me then, when I argued with the film director about the footage. “No, we don’t have enough film for that.” or “Sound proofing for our sets is quite expensive, and besides that clunky.” would be heard a dozen times. Then I would say, “But isn’t a studio supposed to be acoustic?”, and he would say, “But this is a movie, mister Lennon.”. That’s a new level of dumb. So I had my little revenge. I wouldn’t want our band to waste away, so I told them that we will play everything all over again to make a unique dub for the movie as a fuck you. Weirdly enough, Brian supported me. Even if the film director felt that that was unnecessary, how could you say no to the stars of the film who could pull out any moment? That is the reason my hand has cramps. Paul is annoyed with me because of this choice but he can’t say he didn’t enjoy making a different version. I plan, during the editing phase of the movie, for us four to go explore the place some more and relax. I owe them that much for putting them up to more work.

Lots of love,

John

Dear Mimi,

London is such a big place. Me and the lads went through the entire Hyde Park. I can’t believe I didn’t take the time to explore the city before this. The nature in the parks is wonderful and diverse. The architecture is beautiful and elegant. The Rose Garden in Hyde Park is my favourite place, maybe Paul and I could write some songs there. It’s quiet and romantic, perfect for a working atmosphere. Maybe I get too caught up in music making. Exactly why I don’t explore as much as I did before. I would love to do this with Cyn someday. Maybe Paul and I should take Julian out to play... You asked if I knew how Cyn and Jules were, and I write to tell you they are fine. Cynthia is taking up some art courses and teaching Julian how to count, he is so smart! He knows how to count to five already. Of course he is my kid. He is a bundle of sunshine, really brightens up Cyn’s day, she won’t shut up about him in her letters (and who can blame her, he is very cute and funny). I envy her sometimes, she doesn’t let art consume her so much. But what is an artist if not a complicated person with layers and addictions towards their work? 

You made a hat for me! You spoiled the surprise. You know I love them! Well, I’ll try and forget it. Still, I wanted to ask if there is anything else that you wanted me to bring home? If not for you then for others? Wait, I am not falling into that hole. Gifts for others, not their requests, they are not my aunt. 

Lots of love,

John

Dear Mary,

I don’t know how to feel about your last letter. I am making a difference out here and you still bother me about that small thing! Also, you really think I’m doing this for money? No. I’m doing this because there is no other way… Even if there is, that “sham” you are talking about is giving me a way to distance myself from my feelings and write something quite logical. Even though I think we are still subpar and I tell my band that all the time, I think we are on the right track to improve ourselves. The person you call “shameful” and “selfish” has helped create great bands and improved the lives of the other members. It hurts me you think that way about me and my ideas. You don’t even want me to bring stuff if I don’t let go of my ideas. Silly Mary. I’m not seventeen anymore. I am my own man person and I decide what I will or will not do. But your angry response has led me to question what I did, so thank you very much Mary. Do you wonder if I had waited just a little bit and enrolled somewhere else I could’ve been able to achieve the same thing without my idea? If I had… I dunno, enrolled into art school like Cyn and found some friends there? More similar to me… Well, like Paul but you know how. But, I don’t think it would’ve had the same impact as the Beatles. First it was all about fun, and it still is fun, but I would’ve had fun that way too. But now. Now, it’s about impact too. The movie is edited and ready to go. With it, we have reached the big screen. The influence is a burden but we could use it! We could do something with it! I could help people, Mary! All four of us can! We could be the mirror of the society, we could embody the opinion of our demographic! And we already do! We are the demographic! Maybe I sound powerhungry, but I think we don’t need to educate people, we need to make more people aware about the faults and struggles of society! Maybe I am on a high horse but you can’t deny the facts I have brought up. The Beatles CAN change something. They CAN do it. Just believe in me, Mary. Please, Mimi.

Love ya lots,

John

Jules

Julia

Yours truly,

J. V. L.

Rest of Sacrifame

𝙎𝘼𝘾𝙍𝙄𝙁𝘼𝙈𝙀

𝙈𝘼𝙄𝙉 𝙋𝙊𝙎𝙏

“To breach the road I sacrifice a form which holds no device. One day you’ll understand…” - John’s personal diary

Summary

An idea that spiraled out of control and became an act that went on for too long. From a mistake came about a twin tale. A story thought up by a girl who dreamed about making it in the rock world and who would do anything to keep her dream alive in a world that was unaccepting of her vision. Even if it meant pretending for years and years to be someone who she wasn’t. Create a “him” who could do anything and take anything for her. Though, was she ever really pretending or merely entertaining the fact she could be someone else and fully exploiting that position?

The story isn’t chronological and can be read in any order. It happens between 1956. and 1980.

The fanfic is already quite long, clocking in at 83 pages, and will only be longer. I will be uploading it in parts (three at a time) here on Tumblr on a weekly schedule (I will inform you in advance if I will be late next time).

Parts in order of release:

1958. Ain't She Sweet?

1973. How To Tame A Stray

1969. Skipping Practice

I updated with four because "The Scene Is Set!" and "Yearning For Their... Chemistry?" are shorter fics.

1968. Not A Little Kid Anymore

1964. The Scene Is Set!

1963. Yearning For Their... Chemistry?

1975. Go With The Flow

Lack of inspiration leads to late updates, sorry everyone.

1976. Washing The Pain Away

1959. The Fruitless Endeavour

1970. Sincere Condolences To Lennono

He’s so beautiful I love him so much