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Benoit Blanc - Blog Posts
benoit blanc obsession goes so hard im thinking of changing my wallpaper of pope innocent xiv to him
Guyssss more new pics ‼️
Daniel Craig as Benoit Blanc on the set of Wake Up Dead Man (via @ springhousese on Twitter / X).
Bond girls are out. Blanc girls (underprivileged women who screw over rich assholes with the help of this silly detective) are in.
regular ascot-loving-mystery-solving family
Poor Hugh not knowing if Chris actually thinks he’s married to Daniel Craig or is just acting 😂
An Update to the whole "I'm married to James Bond" because...
Hugh really said it out loud and Chris Pine over here getting excited
Like.... Hugh is a menace
Mark “queer baiting” Gatiss could NEVER
It’s taken me a few weeks to remember who said it and where, but
“I think when the day comes that you have a big detective show where the first half hour was this man at work and he’s a maverick and all the usual things and then we went home and his boyfriend says, ‘Are you alright?’ it was just a thing, then something would have genuinely changed.”
- Mark Gatiss for Gay Magazine, February 2012 (x)
Rob Me of My Heart
PREFACE: I'm making Philip's character up as I go, since we know 0 about him other than his messy (he had flour on his face) and he bakes.
I set this about 20 years ago, Benoit would be 30s (Fresh new detective gaining popularity), Philip would be almost 40s.
Let me know if you want more!! Plz comment any feedback as well!
Chapter 1
“He’d been hanging around the last house hit, and someone matched his height, eyes and build to our burglar. He is saying he is innocent, but he hasn’t been protesting to anything.”
“So, why has no one been in to interrogate him yet?”
“We’ve been waiting for you.”
“Why, you didn’t need to do that.” Blanc looked at the officer. “You got him, don’t you? Run with that boy, get him behind the steel bars.”
“He asked to see you.”
Blanc was taken aback. “For me?”
“Yes sir.” The officer opened the door for Blanc, stepping back.
And there he was. All mystery and enigmatic air gone, for he was just a man. Not a villain. A man older than Benoit, early 40s maybe, a near ridiculous mop of hair on his head. An almost gentle face. This was who has been tormenting Blanc for months? This man who looks like a kindergarten teacher or a model. He looked up at Blanc and smiled, and Blanc blanched.
“Hello Detective.” Came a crisp English accent. Blanc sat down across from the man, Philip, studying him.
“You got a last name, Philip?” Philip shook his head, shrugging quite pleasantly. “Interesting.”
“Is it? I only go by one name. Many people do. Banksy, Cher, Fergie.”
“Pop stars, yes.” Blanc agreed. “You’re a thief.”
“And rather a star of a thief, wouldn’t you think?” Philip smiled, proud of himself. Dazzling.
“That is yet to be determined, Philip. You’re in those cuffs, aren’t you? Stars don’t get cuffed.” And Blanc held his hand up when Philip went to argue. “Not like this.”
“Stardom has nothing to do with incarceration, detective.”
Blanc smirked. Damn, this man had a quick wit. “Irregardless, you’re in here now. We’ll find your name, your records, your fingerprints. The stolen items in your place of residence somewhere I’m sure.”
“They won’t be there.” Philip said coolly. “Because I didn’t do it.”
“You did.”
“Say my name again, I like how it sounds when you say it.”
Blanc lost his composure at that, looking surprised and feeling his ears burn. Philip suppressed a little smile. “Well, perhaps you’d like to tell me your administrative name and I can say the whole of it.” Blanc pressed back, Philip didn’t look phased, but he also didn’t answer. Blanc found himself staring for a minute, time had hit a soft pause as two sets of blue eyes met. “Why did you ask for me?”
Philip looked away. “Well, I - naturally I wanted to meet the man who has been in the newspapers recently.”
For the first time Blanc felt his intuition waver - Philip was so hard to read. Was it possible they had the wrong guy and this was some queer fanatic fanboy? Happy to sit in cuffs just to meet a detective. No. Blanc was sure this was the man he’d been looking for.
“I see… so, Philip, you’ve been reading about the investigations.” The brunette nodded. “If you are, in fact, not the thief - got any ideas who it would be?”
“Oh, I’m no investigator. I haven’t the clearest idea who could have pulled it off. Perhaps an inside man.” He leant forward, glancing towards the door. Blanc nodded, amused.
“A dirty officer?”
Philip nodded. “How else do you explain barely any evidence? Someone cleans it up when they get there.”
“I see.”
Philip shrugged. “I can’t think of anything more. Surely, a detective such as yourself would have more ideas.”
“What do you do for work, Philip?”
“I’m an a-artist.” Philip answered, and Blanc relaxed. He was lying.
“Not sure I liked that hesitation before occupation.” Blanc sat back in his seat. “Are you firm on that fact? What medium do you use?”
“Acrylic and canvas.”
“Would I know any of your pieces? I’m an educated man in the art world.”
“No, I sell privately. I’m not good enough for any gallery.” Philip looked down.
“Nonsense, absolute garbage ends up in museums.” Why was he defending this man's artistic talent when he knew he was lying??
“Thank you.” Philip smiled. “But you haven’t seen it.”
“Well perhaps I’ll escort the team who will visit your place when we find it, and I’ll see for myself.”
“Be my guest. Tell me how much you think they’re worth, because I can’t seem to get more than a hundred pounds for anything.”
“If you’d be so kind as to enlighten me where you live I’d go check it right now.”
Philip got a strange twinkle in his eye and Blanc realized he’d gone a bit far. He wasn’t seriously going to go to this criminal's living quarters solely to praise his art, though his mind was set to praise whatever he found.
“Okay.” Philip said simply.