Broken

Broken

#1

-

Is not music a stucture of time

made

with figures of animal emotions

laid

on spirit; equal parts ordeal, fantasy & poison?

#2

-

I was terrified, then compelled, then terrified again

I was compelled then to throw away all

and start a new ... call it violet violence ... dream

of selfless night and candid day

by you; a child of flight a howl of wounds, wish, silence.

#3

-

In that moment a squence of long lost crystal bells quieted the night

Some elven veil slipped down from my ears to my bare feet

I felt naked, as there fell

the 20,000 moon tones of choral mischief over flowing crush.

#4

-

I could hear                                           a rush

a blush

a blur of blooming moments marked by

this raining organism of silence and time

I had lost this music. I embraced you. It found me.

You said goodbye. you said farewell.  you said godspeed.

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More Posts from Youhadmeat-blog and Others

10 years ago

Failing: is not the opposite of

Winning: .


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10 years ago

Fantastic Art. Solid message. Also, that is not what Feminism means.

Stunning Australian Street Art Shows The World The True Face Of LGBT People
Stunning Australian Street Art Shows The World The True Face Of LGBT People
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Australian street artist Astrotwitch launched “Queer the Streets" last year based on the idea that, as they wrote on Tumblr, all the “queer community needs is simply for more people to know that they exist.” Their works are incredible — and every one has the potential to create a change.

15 years ago

Intersticio

Te busqué en el aeropuerto porque a ti te gustaba el ruido. te busqué en la avenida te busqué en la televisión te busqué porque a ti te gustaba encontrarte entre la gente, y el ruido. Nuestro rüido en el aeropuerto porque así se quedaba el bus. nuestro rüido en la ida nuestro rüido en la loción nuestro rüido porque a mi me gustaba perderte entre la menté y el bus. Te busqué en los nidos. nuestro ruido no se movió, no. Te busqué en el salvavidas bajo el asiento. te busqué entre la guitarra que empaqué. te busqué en el espejo de bajo del acento porque a ti te gustaba la gente no se movió, no. no se movió (el del espejo y el rüido). Te busqué antes que te perdieras entre mis expresos y entre mis autopistas y entre mis paredes y en mis guaridas. emigré para buscarte

otro capital ido

nuestro intersticio

era menos convulso.


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11 years ago
Mercurial I&II Lives

Mercurial I&II Lives

Also available in Vinyl. Enjoy. 

http://mesmer.bandcamp.com

Happy Mercuralia!


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15 years ago

Miento

miento no te necesito cuando camino a medianoche, cerca a la parada, pienso en otra persona cuando tomo mi jugo en la mañana, mi vista se fija en otro lugar del piso nunca he resentido que hayas tirado todo al a-quién-le-importa viejo siempre se me olvidan los detalles y las palabras exactas de nuestros diálogos no te mereces tanta importancia esto pasa todo el tiempo fue algo casual pienso que soy lo más brillante y genial que ha existido pienso que eres lo más genial y brillante que ha existido el jardín que en mi crecía para tí no se quemó hasta la ceniza las rarísimas especies refulgen más fuertes que nunca soltar tu mano antes de saltar al acantilado es lo máximo no creo que los besos sean como luces no creo en “la luz que brilla sobre ti, brilla por siempre” creo que Dios escucha celebro a cada momento haberte enseñado sólo el primero de los fuegos artificiales celebro desaparecer (por fin mago) celebro mil veces al día el papel dramático que juego en la obra imagino que todo es peor sin ti donde todo es el yo que funciona, quizás no el que siente. quiero decir, lo contrario.

-- H.A & A 2010


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15 years ago

Variation on a Theme by Jeffrey

Soulstice (Homenaje)

Primero descubrí que sólo el lamento claroscuro del violoncelo calmaba el llanto oculto de mi preciosa, Tinta. Creo que fue sólo cuando con mis manos de pianista pude encontrar el rumor, el más leve eco del llanto oculto sobre la espalda, que comprendí el alcance verdadero del Ministerio Tenebrista.  Solo los tenebristas entendemos el lenguaje oculto que pinta fonemas, de suspiros, seseos y risas secretas hecho.  He aquí el problema con Tinta luego que el Ministerio nos obligó a mantenernos despiertos durante la ejecución de los conciertos.  Así pues el lenguaje antiguo iría olvidándose y el río oculto, el llanto profundo quedaría expuesto, desprotegido, abierto y sin sanar.   Pero yo encontré la manera de leer cinco veces los arpegios antes de pasarlos, y con práctica, diez.  Correr con las piernas bajo el banco, mientras tocaba.  De camino al tren fingir que algo se me quedaba para regresar caminando y caminando.  Aguantar todos los bostezos. Diluir la cafeína que nos obligaban a tomar. Cuando resonaban las inevitables campanas y trompas de mantener la atención, ya había colocado secretamente amortiguadores en mis oídos. Todo para correr a casa y tocar las únicas tres notas que aprendí a tocar en el violoncelo antes de quedarme dormido - si Tinta me despeinaba y me despeinaba.  Las notas capaces de dormir el llanto oculto, hasta la próxima mañana. --H.A & A. 2010

NOTICE: This is only a re-interpratation of an epic little text she found and shared.  Original author Jeffrey McDaniels, apparently found here and then Tumblr-ed  .


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10 years ago

Twirls

Actor: Hey kid, I need you to lock this door for real

PA: I'm ... I'm just a PA, uh

Actor: Just do it

*Action!*

Actor: [takes out real tools]

Actor: [intense]

*Cut!*

Director: wtf, Brian?

Actor: look, I need to do this

Director: it's already open, Brifus, just do the little lock-picking twitches with the props and open the fucking door like the pro you're supposed to be portra-

Actor: One. MORE.

Director:

Director:

*Action!!*

Actor: [sweat beads]

Actor:

*Cuuut!!*

Director: ffs you're making my tonsils explode, Brian. We're already behind schedule.

Actor: just one more, Bill. I've been watching you tubes, I got this... i wanna.. this year I mean, my acting going upnexeveljustonemore

Director: No, fuck you. Frederick, open the goddam prop doorlock from the inside, let's get this scene and move on.

Actor: no no i can

*Action!!*

Actor: [looks to camera, grabs handle opens door and sets lock for real, closes it]

Actor: [get's back into character, crouching, knee to floor. Desperation. Sweat beads. Concentration.]

Actor:

Director: [roundhouse kicking chair]

Director: [about to yell cut]

*click*

*door is lock-picked open*

Director:

Director: [barely audible] Cut!!

Director: [deep breathing] [crushing script page into a ball] [walks to office]

Everyone: umm

Actor: [turns on his fully functional in-ear walkie talkie spy prop] don't know what you're mad about, Bill. We got a helluva scene; I'm telling ya, this is the year, it's all abou-

Director: don't know what I'm mad about? Hell of a sceeene?!

[loud bangs, lamp trashing heard room next door]

Director: hell of a scene, Brifuck? It's useless!! Uussseeeelleeesssssss aaaaahh

Actor: useless? Whatdoya mean useless?! I gave you gold, sweetchums. The real deal! I fucking lock-picked that door for you. It's not even that difficult, there's this youtube ch-

Director: [high pitch laughter breaking up] you framed all surprised, moran! When it opens we see you almost smile and jump and get relief! Your asinine character is supposed to be super tense and has done this almost every episode.

Actor: ... Well, edit the surprise out. Why are you acting like a big baby? I'll give you some more of the smooth entry if that's what you need...

Director: [walking back on set] oh so you're telling me how to shoot this now

Actor: YOU are telling me how to act this out all Fakey and Lame, this-

Director: THAT's MY JOB! [bane breaks the back of a lighting stand, throws the two pieces every which way] aaaaaa

Actor: And mine is to act out the best way possible for this scene, dog gone it.

Producer: [walking in, raises ray bans to look around] oh for Tiffany's sake, light that fireplace and queue the soft funk. Get to the scenes that pay the billssss

[finger twirls]

15 years ago

Touchstone + Innogen

I want to live out where in the night the endless roving roundness known as white dwarves the memories of your footsteps in mid air red giant inkwells swelling but reflections on your white greenery clumsy but bursting at the seams seem -ingly taciturn turned lover's red on your dot on your face I can only say I understand one kind of song now a wail sung through to that dead composer and 14th. An iris, stayed by myriad of ancients roaring well above I'll live but in this moment danced a spec of mourning light I'll learn but this very breath craved that very spec so shaped in exactness like you (and made out of void, inside). I know nothing but that all has been too soon, too bright, too soft, too high, too fun, too mad, too mull, too much but very Real. -- H.A. & A. 2010


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13 years ago

XXIII.1

El abstenerse de la conversación marca a aquel que obedece la espontaneidad de su naturaleza. Un torbellino no dura toda la mañana; un aguacero no dura todo el día. ¿A quién se deben estas (dos) cosas? Al Cielo y Tierra. Si el Cielo y Tierra no pueden lograr que sus brusquedades duren mucho, ¡cuánto menos pueden las personas!

Abstaining from speech marks him who is obeying the spontaneity of his nature. A violent wind does not last for a whole morning; a sudden rain does not last for the whole day. To whom is it that these (two) things are owing? To Heaven and Earth. If Heaven and Earth cannot make such (spasmodic) actings last long, how much less can man!

--Lao Tzu


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15 years ago

Soul is broken. Support system treads along. Air intake diminishes. Soul strained more. repeat.

it is I


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youhadmeat-blog - Mesmer Hai
Mesmer Hai

Héctor A. DelManzano I am a singer-songwriter-composer-software-developer-monstruosity currently alive near San Juan, PR. This is a secret place... ssshhh. Lomo pictures, poetry, songs in progress: updates, previews and musings. There's also bandcamp and twitter goto(!) contact for more.

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