Venivampyr - Idk What I'm Doing

Gosh I thought I was alone feeling this way. So many years I've just accepted this idea that I need to mask and hide my own suffering at the expense of everything. And for what? I hate resenting others for being sick, but sometimes I can't help but resent them for their temporary pain or discomfort.

people assume that being physically disabled makes you more empathetic to the pain of others, but that’s not always the case.

for me, it feels unfair when others are in pain and don’t feel the need to hide that fact, because i have internalized the idea that i’m not allowed to talk about my own. it annoys me that, while most are typically understanding if a non disabled person doesn’t operate at their full capacity due to sickness or injury, disabled people are expected to function normally as if that isn’t our every day. as much as i want to feel solidarity towards a suffering person, it feels impossible not to be envious when their illness or ailment is temporary, but i will never, ever get a break from mine.

for obvious reasons i would never say any of directly to someone, because my pain doesn’t make theirs any less valid or real. still, i can’t help but feel that my disability has made me bitter and unkind, because i can’t help but compare my own experiences with theirs.

this is the reality of disability- it does not create perfect people. many of us are broken and struggle to connect with others because of our conditions, and that does not mean we are evil people

ohh yeah im a real piece of shit 👍 job please

Arcane has destroyed my spirit, and if I had one, my soul

Thankfully, #BlackButler is making me less sad

Republicans have been fragile and extreme for decades.

I'm so sick of feeling erased. I just want to be ok

i’m ok with monogamy because it’s a fucked up fetish thing

Perks of Polyamory: nobody has to be alone!

love when there’s like 4 people online and we keep reblogging the same posts from each other. literally just 4 bitches hanging out and telling each other “exactlyyyyy”