We shouldn’t be scared to be ourselves but we are. Just because society is fucked up and we’re stuck in the most judgmental world
73 posts
Just reblogging so I can watch it again later
… tongue
Where is my soulmate at? 😭🤔
pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader
synopsis: based on that 2016 tumblr soulmate trope where it’s black and white until they meet, also emotion sharing
requests: soulmates au, fic based on song
cw: vulgar language, angst, toxicity, fluff, anti-climactic happy ending, soulmate au tingz, nightmare trope, lowkey slow burn but not really, rivals to lovers
wc: ~3500
a/n: WORLD BUILDING REE xx gene
song link: To Late to Turn Back Now - Cornelius Brothers & Sister Rose
MY MAMA TOLD ME, SHE SAID, "SON, PLEASE BEWARE / THERE'S THIS THING CALLED LOVE, AND IT'S AH EV'RYWHERE"
Jake grew up in a glass house; envious of the idealized soulmate dynamic. His parents never saw color, only settling for black and white. He had grown up in institutions propagating the idea of a soulmate---someone who would know you better than yourself---but lived in the reality that not everyone found their match. He had experienced too many people in his community only experiencing their lives through a black and white lens, destined to wait another lifetime until finding the one they were fated to be with.
He was never sure if his parents truly loved one another mainly because they matched so they wouldn’t end up alone. Maybe one of his parents loved the other, but they would never really know.
AND SHE TOLD ME IT CAN BREAK YOUR HEART…/ AND PUT YOU IN MISERY…
He could see in his mother’s eyes that love existed towards his father, seemingly more than what his father felt in exchange. His father’s wandering gaze shared more passion and lust in crowds of strangers than when he looked at his own wife. Jake’s parents were trapped in a relentless cycle of asking themselves what if…
And never finding the answers that would satisfy their unhappy disillusions.
Misery; that was how Jake would describe love.
For years he had to plaster a smile on his face, congratulating each of his friends as they began to find their soulmates. Time after time, he was waiting at a bar when one of them would grow quiet, making eye contact with someone across the room. The next thing he knew, Jake was being strapped into a groomsman’s tux and standing at the end of an aisle. He was constantly choking back criticisms that he knew would fall on deaf ears.
Despite his figurative forcefield, Jake knew you were out there. It seemed like as he grew older, his emotions were never fully his own. He knew you were responsible for the opposite end of the emotional scale that he was suddenly becoming more accustomed to.
Yet, Jake was stubborn. Instead, he suppressed your feelings of optimism and joy; content with the idea of living his life in a black and white world.
SINCE I MET THIS LITTLE WOMAN I FEEL IT'S HAPPENED TO ME
You pulled the collar of your jacket closer to your ears to fight against the biting cold. You were at the end of your rope already when the subway had been late, leaving you stranded for an hour before you were shoved into a seat next to a woman on the verge of labor.
Needless to say, you were thankful to be a few blocks from your apartment finally.
Accidentally stepping into a massive puddle, you trudged up the subway steps, ignoring the flickering lamp overhead and the bustle of the city at the threshold. A slight tinge of frustration drew your eyes away from the concrete beneath you, spotting a long-haired man with sharp features. He seemed to share the sudden disdain for your day as your irises focused on his.
The world around you began to blur before color began to pool in the corners of your eyes. His honey gaze was the first color you would ever see. Next would be the tone of his sun-kissed skin and the brightness of his scarf. The city around his features blossomed into shades of grays and blues, yet he remained bright.
His eyes were glued to yours in curiosity; studying your features to see if you would be the first to break the silence between the two of you. His soft lips parted slightly as he sighed deeply like he was already regretting something at the sight of you.
You, on the other hand, were relieved. Finally, you would no longer have to sit through the intensive conversations laid on by your family members as your sister and friend each found their soulmates. You also could finally blame the hot head in front of you for losing his temper at the worst possible times.
AND I’M TELLIN’ YOU / IT’S TOO LATE TO TURN BACK NOW
You gnawed the inside of your cheek as you approached one another. He seemed disinterested as you introduced yourself, muttering to himself more than answering your questions. You furrowed your brows at him as the two of you began to feed into each other’s tempers. “Look, I don’t have time for this right now. I don’t even want a soulmate,” he grumbled as you rested your hands on your hips.
You scoffed. “You think I was so desperate to find you?” You countered. “We should at least swap numbers so we can get a counselor for when you’re ready.”
He rolled his eyes again. Every couple was assigned a counselor for emotions management, being that the pairs usually shared intense emotions. You knew you’d need one on speed dial for the way Jake was at your first meeting. The fact that you couldn’t tell straight off the bat if you were agitated or just experiencing his feelings scared you.
As the two of you created contacts for each other with minimally labeled names, Jake pulled a cigarette from his pocket. You begrudgingly offered him a lighter. “Too late to turn back now, huh?” He muttered, making you chuckle.
When the two of you parted, Jake stubbornly refused to acknowledge the slight twinge in his gut. He already swore that the soulmate pairing was against his free will and due to some chemical imbalance produced by a nutrient in the city’s water supply. Yet, the color of your eyes flashed into his mind, making him kick his boot against the ground and huff.
I BELIEVE, I BELIEVE, I BELIEVE I’M FALLING IN LOVE
You and Jake had agreed to spend time together, trying to warm up to the idea of each other the best you could. You went on outings to meet friend groups, casual dates where you let hours pass as you shopped around the grocery store for one of you, even inviting each other along when you had errands to run. Your arguments were becoming more comfortable and you had come to accept that the pair of you couldn't go without a disagreement, therefore living with the petty outbursts over nothing became a staple in your mode of communication.
You liked Jake’s friends, finding it strange how bright and outgoing they were compared to him. At gatherings, the two of you usually stood together in a group, Jake’s hand usually brushing against yours in a short communication that he was still around even if you didn’t require it. This was something you noticed about him almost instantly: he would never admit it aloud to you, but he seemed to like the reassurance that you were still by his side in social settings.
That being said, it was usually your counselor that would force the two of you to actually show each other affection.
In one session, she had insisted that the two of you hold hands, feeling that physical touch was the quickest way to break barriers. It led to the two of you bickering while Jake’s fingers were threaded with yours, his palm warm against your skin. His hazel gaze would narrow at you as you brought up something annoying he did, like when he would run up your heels with a shopping cart or hog the blankets when the two of you were watching a movie. Yet his hand would tighten around yours, refusing to let you go.
Another time, your counselor insisted on a more direct form of communication for the two of you which involved facing each other in armchairs and saying what you liked about each other. By this point, Jake had been in your life for a few months so without thinking, your feet were kicked up on the cushion beside him as his arm leaned against your legs, his dark eyes focusing on how you twisted your hands.
“I don’t hate it when you run with my jokes,” you mentioned, tilting your head as if you were trying to satisfy yourself with your own answer.
Jake sighed, thumb rolling over your denim-clad shin. His gaze flickered to the counselor. “You think this is going to build self-confidence or something?” He tutted at her. Her irises drew up from his hand on your leg before violently nodding. He rolled his eyes back to you. “Um…” He clicked his tongue as he thought. “I like that you don’t use emojis.”
The counselor was mainly there to keep you both level-headed. Something you had discovered from these sessions was how intense Jake was regarding his emotions. She figured that the two of you weren’t actually prone to so many arguments and the rivalry, but rather it was just Jake dwelling on bitterness and pessimism. When the two of you fought over bigger topics---not related to which guitarist was the best or which Pringles flavor tasted better---you found yourself instantly overcome with frustration, mainly rolling off of his shoulders.
“It comes with the territory,” your counselor had reasoned.
Jake felt everything to the tenth degree, meaning that you now shared this side of him even more intensely.
… IT SO UNUSUAL FOR ME TO CARRY ON THIS WAY
More months passed, peeling back the layers and barriers the two of you had put up between each other. You studied trivia flashcards about each other, trying to get to know one another as people rather than just partners. You reprogrammed the radio in his car by this point, making it difficult for him to forget the feeling of you in his passenger seat. He was at your side for birthdays and your family get-togethers. Your friends favored him more than you had expected them to.
The two of you moved in together rather quickly, yet still slept apart despite the protest from your counselor. You usually nested yourself in the master bedroom and he had found a home with his guitars in one of the guest rooms. You ate dinners together, engaging in as much small talk as possible.
It was clear from the beginning that the goal was to build a life around each other as soon as possible. Your counselor had read in one study that soulmates who didn’t click right away repelled each other until they became a habit to one another.
I TELL YOU, I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT, A WANTING TO HOLD HER TIGHT / I TRIED SO HARD TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT THIS FEELIN' JUST CAN'T BE RIGHT
Jake bit his tongue at the subtle disdain you exhibited in leaving your apartment. He couldn’t deny the justice that came with neither of you having your way, but still enjoyed co-existing with you. You were growing on him, despite him finding your hair on his jacket the morning after a night out or when you would switch the channel on the tv when he was watching something. He enjoyed making breakfast with you---the two of you still tired from the heavy rest as you maneuvered around each other softly, following an unspoken schedule.
He continued on his bitter charade just as you did; your rock-hard surfaces complimenting each other until one of you would dare show a weak spot. He found it odd how often you were on his mind. Sometimes his mind would drift to when the two of you first met, making his stomach twist at the thought of how much he wanted to escape you. Well, not you, but the concept that brought you to him. He knew that if you were living in a world without the obligation of soulmates, he would want to find you.
Jake let himself imagine what it would be like in that reality. You’d probably meet in a bar where he’d buy you a drink you wouldn’t finish because you’d be too busy telling him one of your long-winded and complex stories. He thought about how much happier his parents would be, and the first time you met them it would have been during some stupid holiday in the house where he grew up.
It was his swelling emotion of fondness that seemed to seep into your mind too. You grew to recognize the look in his eye during a counseling session when he seemed to want to tell you something. You knew him better than the counselor would give you credit for. When you saw that small glimmer in his gaze, you sat close enough that your arm would rest against his, or you’d stretch your pinky out to wrap around his.
AND I’M TELLIN’ YOU / IT’S TOO LATE TO TURN BACK NOW
Sweat pooled at your hairline as you fought to kick to the surface of the water, the seaweed wrapping around your ankles as your lungs gasped for breath. The water was growing murkier around you, the plants pulling you further into the depths of the darkness. You were beginning to panic as you struggled.
Jake’s stomach was twisting in knots for a reason he couldn’t figure out. Something in the back of his mind kept itching at him that the feeling was from you. He rolled his eyes and turned over on his stomach, squeezing his eyes shut to try and ignore the echoing fear in his thoughts. It was a dull feeling, so he figured it couldn’t be serious.
That was until a spike of panic tightened in his chest, making him sit upright in bed. He wet his lips, mulling over the consequences in his head if he checked in on you. He could almost hear your voice in his thoughts calling out to him.
Trudging the distance to your room, Jake yawned and pulled a hoodie over his head. Your room was silent as he pressed his ear to the wood of your door before knocking. The panic in his body began to build when you didn’t answer, unable to tell if it was his own fear or yours.
He twisted the knob, peeking his head into your room to spot you curled into the sheets, fingers tightening around the material tightly. He chewed on his lip as he realized the adrenaline was from a nightmare you were having. He silenced the side of him debating against interfering as he stepped into your room, sitting on the edge of your bed.
Jake gingerly rested a hand on your shoulder, jumping as you sparked awake, the two of you scaring each other from the sudden movement. You sighed in relief when you saw his face, something that tugged at his heart.
… I BELIEVE I’M FALLING IN LOVE
You threw your arms around him without thinking, digging your nose into the crook of his neck to breathe in the scent of his hair as silent tears slipped from your eyes. He was stunned at the action, but the beating of your heart against his chest drew him from his frozen state as he returned your embrace, holding you tightly. His fingertips carefully caressed the valley of your spine, hushing your fears as he drew you closer to him. Your body felt right in his grasp, as if you belonged in such a proximity to him.
You were eased at the warmth of his skin and the coo of his voice as he assured you that you weren’t alone. The material of his clothes was soft as you clung to him. The two of you had never been pressed together so closely, and you weren’t sure you wanted it to end.
Jake pulled back from you slightly, brushing one of his hands into your hair to push it away from your face until his palm was resting on the back of your neck. His thumb smoothed against the tension in your jaw as your hand covered his. He wiped away the roadmap of tears streaked across your face. His features were soft in the dim lighting as you took a deep breath to calm the trembling of your teeth.
You moved into the cold spot of your bed, pulling him beneath the sheets with you. As he settled in, he tugged you against his chest, letting you nestle into the fabric of his sweatshirt. The mellow beating of his heart lulled you back to sleep, your dreams now of the cedar wood trees from Jake’s cologne.
As you drifted off, Jake curled into your warmth. He pressed his cheek against your forehead as you cuddled into his hold, wishing he could live in this moment until he died.
I WOULDN’T MIND IT IF I KNEW SHE REALLY LOVED ME TOO
It was different between the two of you after that night. At bars, you would pull his arm around your shoulders or thread your fingers with his. You felt yourself falling for him rather quickly after bonding with him over your nightmare.
But pieces of you worried that what you were feeling was merely what Jake was experiencing rather than your own emotions. You knew how intense his emotions could be so it wasn’t so far out of the water to have the nagging idea that he was loving you enough for the both of you.
In a separate session, you had met with your counselor to discuss this fact, finding that the absence of Jake by your side left you vulnerable. The two of you usually teamed up against her tactics and made a joke out of her bonding exercises. You missed him.
“It’s normal to question if what you’re feeling is real,” she commented. You sucked on your teeth with a slight sigh. “He’s asked me about this too.”
You perked an eyebrow at her words. “He has?”
She nodded. “I knew right away that he was going to fall for you, and fall hard.” She peeked out one of her large windows after she expanded. “Does it matter?” Your gaze narrowed with her question. “If you both feel the same, does it matter?”
BUT I’D HATE TO THINK I’M IN LOVE ALONE / AND NOTHING THAT I CAN DO
Jake looked over his shoulder from his place in the living room as you got home. He sent you a small wave as you stepped over the back of the couch and slid into the spot next to him, tucking yourself under the blanket he had commandeered. You peered at him out of the corner of your eye, wanting to ask him about the questions swirling in your head.
Instead, you studied his features. The neutral tones of his flannel complimented the shades of brown in his hair, the tones of honey in his eyes. He turned to catch your gaze, snorting as you held his attention with an unreadable expression.
He knew what you wanted to say, but he refused to be the first to break the ice into the conversation you were edging towards. You wet your lips, letting your weight lean against his shoulder as you looked down at your hands. The feeling of your body against his set him at ease.
“Are you okay with this now?” You asked him, flashing your eyes up to his before avoiding his gaze once again. His brows knitted together. “I mean me. Are you okay with me now or are you just feeling that I’m okay with you now?”
He let out a soft chuckle. “What?”
You chewed on your lip. “You know,” you trailed off momentarily. “Do you like me?”
He scoffed. “Are we in middle school? Of course I like you,” he teased sarcastically.
You sighed. “No, Jake. I’m okay with you. I’m okay with this,” you clarified, gesturing to the space around you. “Do you feel the same way or is it the stupid emotion sharing thing?”
He nodded slowly, nudging your arm with his. “I’m okay with you, too. I don’t think it’s the emotion thing.”
IT’S TOO LATE TO TURN BACK NOW
You mirrored his gesture, sinking further into the couch beside him. He continued to look at you as if he were mulling something over. His other hand reached towards you, slipping his fingers into the space between the skin of your neck and the collar of your sweatshirt. It was actually his clothing, the thought of you wearing it so blatantly in front of your counselor made him want to laugh.
Instead, his hand wrapped around the back of your neck, drawing you closer to him to press your lips against his in a kiss that could soothe even the most troublesome mind. It seemed that the colors behind your eyes burned more vibrantly, every sensation seemingly becoming more heightened at the taste of him.
“I’m okay with you, I promise,” he chided as he reluctantly drew himself away from you, a blush spreading across your face at his tone.
I BELIEVE, I BELIEVE, I BELIEVE I’M FALLING IN LOVE
Okay but what’s that weird shit on his necklace? It looks like it’s a stone but it has some fur in it 😵🥴🤷🏼♀️
Please… I need some friends from Greta Van Fleet fandom 🥺🥺🥺 if any of you go to the Manchester concert on the 28th please contact me so we can wait together ❤️❤️🥰🥰
Pls I need some friends 🥲🥲🙃❤️🔥🌹
reblog if your inbox is always open for new members of the fandom who may be a little shy or intimidated. doesn’t matter whether or not you’re a “popular blog”; everyone here is equal and if you’re reading this as a new person/someone considering entering the fandom, we will not turn you away!!!! talk to us!! make friends!! i more than understand being shy but trust me this fandom is chill come join us in this hellhole
Current mood: in desperate need of gvf mutals 🥲🥲 I can’t help but feel envy when I see y’all being besties :( And I can’t convince my friends to like the boys so I’m left alone fangirling my brains out 💀
(No hate or anything I love to see everyone supporting and loving each other ❤️🔥)
Anyways enjoy this heavily edited sketch of Jake 🌹
POV: Demon!Josh is speaking with Jake and he notices that you’re staring at him, you look away blushing with a little smile on your face but as you turn your head back you see the demon smirking back at you…
@garbagevanfleet ABADDON inspired me to draw this :) I hope you like it and I can’t wait for the next part, you’re amazing 🤩 ❤️❤️🔥 (I don’t know why’s it so blurry tumblr is trying to f me up but if you click on the pic it’s better lol) have a beautiful day <3
The chokehold this guy has on me is ridiculous… I had to draw him ✍️
☝🏼
Cliquetober Day 29 - Car
#tylerjosheph #twentyonepilots #clique #cliqueart
Hope you like it or whatever 🙃✨ @twentyonepilots @tylerrjoseph @joshuadun #cliqueart #cliqueartwork #trench (helyszín: Pomáz) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5U68f6FlKe/?igshid=khxfx3kki7lq