Bridesmaid to a waiter: What a beautiful wedding
Waiter, about to reveal that the poor groom’s bride is a whore: Oh you haven’t heard?
tumblr: you're back early
me, darkening my clothes: mcrs back
tumblr: what?
me, striking a violent pose: mcrs back
Literally Anybody Else 2020 Election T-Shirt
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Aries: I plant seeds of ice cream cravings into the minds of my friends like the evil person I am
Taurus: Pokefusion is just forbidden breeding
Gemini: I only make group chats when necessary so I made us a truth or dare chat where we can spill tea
Cancer: Every time I see Andrew Garfield as Spiderman I always think it’s Brendon Urie for a split second and then I remember that it isn’t Brendon but now I just want my big forehead boy to be Spiderman
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