This Is The Sacred Duck He Got An Important Message:

writer in the dark & liability -lorde

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I just feel so ugly inside and out.

i cant even write about it, i tried, too many memories of being locked up in facilities. i know everything is all in that damn notebook but i don’t know if i dare look at it.

12.9.22 August in december. (excerpt)

I now may have the same diagnosis, but it does not make me the monster of a man that you were. I am pursuing a degree in fisheries & wildlife at a very small school. I want a house in the mountains where me and **** can rescue dogs. I like filling my head with poetry, fluffy romance, crystals and astrology, gaming a little, indie folk music, and looking at the stars. I stopped playing softball and I like being outside, but most days I just want to curl up in bed. I still play ukulele but I started learning guitar. My favorite color isn’t yellow anymore, it is green. 

I am no longer the me that you knew, and you my dear are no longer you. 

i just think it’s silly that my parents were a little sucky and now i’m a 19 year old with a personality disorder and an emotional support stuffed animal

⋆ Black and Orange Thinking

⋆ Dog

⋆ Untethered

⋆ The Soldier, The Sinner 

⋆  Ballet

no because this disorder SUCKS ASS. i read a heartbreaking fanfic and now i’m so fucking sad i want to die so i can stop feeling so fuxking SAD

that writer deserves everything they have ever wanted in life, that was the most beautiful piece of literature i’ve read in a while holy fuck

8.7.24 excerpt-

“and a large part of me is dead too, lying there with your ashes in the mahogany box”

her name is Laura. she is witty and hilarious and just a child. fuck you. you horrible ass bitch, not even for hurting me but for fucking daring to lay your monstrous paws on her again after what you did the first time. you disgust me. your girlfriend disgusts me. move out of that damn house and grow the fuck up. asshole scum. may the Gods torture you for the rest of your godforsaken waste of a human life.