navalonmusic

Latest Posts by navalonmusic

gonna start writing stories again! hopefully i can actually publish some eventually.

whoever said your 20's is for re-discovering your middle school obsessions was so right. All my songwriting now uses crypids and folklore as metaphors. 12 year old me would be so proud.

i miss my dog so much

stream before you were sorry :)

sometimes i feel like i don’t actually have free will. like my favorite color is purple because that’s the color that feels like me and everyone says i remind them of purple so it had to be purple but deep down my favorite color is probably blue. i feel like this is not a normal thought process lmao

Dive into the general aesthetic of 'Before You Were Sorry'

Hey! I wanted a space to rant a bit about the imagery of the song and why it was chosen. 

So the lyrics were originally written not to be final, the only lyrics we kept were "I forgave you before you were sorry" and "I don't care how it hurts". The original lyrics were okay, but not great, the point of them was honestly a vent song, just to get the feelings onto paper so they don't drive me crazy by sitting in my head. (Always have to get them out before they evolve into something else).

But anyway...

I found this painting at goodwill (the one featured on the album art) and it inspired a deep dive into swans, swan dives, devotion, unwavering loyalty for better and especially for worse, etc. I discovered 'morute' and 'gloomy coquette' (I'm chronically on pinterest i know) and loved that imagery for the song. We were going to make a music video (and still are going to but we had to delay it) and agreed upon this theme. 

We loved this theme because it combines friendly, romantic, cute, etc, overtones with a dark undertone. 

For example "Swan Dive" was chosen because swans are symbols of love and generally light imagery, but a Swan Dive is something dark coming out of it. Same thing goes for "Black Cherry lungs" because "Cherry" is a cutesy word, but it is actually meant to represent a vape flavor and smoke which is considered 'darker' imagery in a way. 

The song is basically an internal monologue of attempting to romanticize a toxic situation in order to stay due to fear of losing the person, with moments of extreme clarity, such as the chorus, and then the ultimate realization that even if you know things are awful, you're still going to stay ("I don't care how it hurts" ending the song was meant to drive that point home).

Anyway! This lowkey backtracks the whole point made with our first song released 'Who Are You/' which the point of that is leaving a bad situation, and we still stand by that message, you are so worthy of amazing things and deserve to be treated as so :). This song can almost be seen as the thought process before 'Who Are You?'.

caption is old but i’m gonna start being more active here (we mayyyyyyy be releasing this song possibly maybe probably on the 31st but im not supposed to tell yall that until tmr 🤯🤯🤯)

northern lights

my dog died last night. his pawprints are all still in the snow all over the house. the treats we had been trying to get him to eat are everywhere. his bed is still by the fire. his favorite toy is with him, they said that they would cremate it with him. i have a matching smaller version that is on my keys.

his fur is on my jacket from last night, that is now drenched in years. i got home and collapsed and held my jacket like i had held him.

tonight is new years eve. anchorage, alaska. i hear people partying in a house down the mountain. our neighbors set off fireworks. the sky is the same shade of green as his favorite jacket. i sat outside in the 12 degree air and let it wrap me like a blanket. i told the northern lights that i love him. that i miss him.

my toes are numb and my ears burn and all i want is to have him back. he would lay out where i was standing all the time, not wanting to come in even when it was cold. i wanted to feel how he felt.

the sky is getting greener with different waves near the mountain top and getting wider in the middle of the sky. brief flashes of fireworks interrupt in the corner. even though there are no streetlights, it never really gets dark super dark here.

i'm staring at his pawprints in the yard again. i remember when we first got him. my mom walked him to our middle school to pick us up as a suprise. he had 4 owners before he landed with us. how could someone not want the most perfect dog. i would do anything to have him back.

i loved him so much. i still love him. there's waves of comfort and waves of grief and all i know is that it hurts. i don't know where to put the love.

Explaining the lyrics to my bands song Who Are You? :) I kinda wanna post the extended poem

verse 1 on my band's song! unreleased, but heres the sneak peek.

please come home

You monster.

When I woke up, I was all alone. Everyone’s gone…

silent hill games should be on girls go games

played around w editing lol

I'm in love with a person who doesn't exist

short story by navalon.

I am in love with a person who doesn’t exist. 

I fall for you over and over in everyone I meet. A constant search for you. If they hurt me it’s okay, it’s for you. 

I’m never alone. You are the smell of my bedsheets. You’re the low rumble of the air conditioner that sings me to sleep. You color the world blue after sunset and wrap me in the fog as an embrace. You’re the blanket I kicked off in my sleep, and the goosebumps on my skin without it.

I’ll fall for you in a person again soon.

I’ll break my own heart again soon.

I’ll never escape you. You’re everywhere, whispering in my ear to fall in love again. To have a medium, a person, a vessel, to give all of this to. I bleed you and breathe you. It’s for you. There is so much love in me I have to give it away,

or else i don’t exist.

Without you the cold floor is just wood and everything I’ve gone through was for nothing. Who am I without the reassurance you’re proud? Who am I if not enough? 

who are you?

You are someone new every few months, but always the same. You’re among the dust on my dresser, giving me an excuse not to touch it. Whoever I’m in love with will always stay the sidewalk covered in slush the day after a storm. I’ll tell my friends not to splash me on the way to school, and they’ll cover me in you with a smile.

i am not waterproof.

No matter how hard I scrub there is no use. I’ve absorbed you. You’ve absorbed me. Consume me already. Eat me whole! All I’ve ever done was for you. Am I good? Am I worth your time? Don’t leave me. Do not leave me? 

I’ll write your name until my fingers bruise and I’ll scream it ‘till my voice gives out. Then I’ll whisper bird noises to the ones who understand. I’d do anything, for I am you. You’ll visit me in dreams and the dorm dryers. Tell me not to give up. Face me.

tell me to give up.

tell me it will all be over soon.

tell me this cycle ends.

I feel you when I dig my nails into the palm of my hand. The marks spell your name. The scars spell mine. Touch me again, this time not through the stove top. Let me feel you without a knife, let me see you with sober eyes.

let us kiss without bruises.

hug me with no bullets.

Exist.

I need you to exist.

Things i could talk about for hours

Biblically Accurate Angels (mostly seraphims)

Gravity falls

Creepypasta

Marble Hornets

Everymanhybrid

Weird/scary signs

Perfect Blue

Shiki

The last unicorn and it’s metaphors

How i feel religion and my dislike for megachurches

Death note

Alternative subcultures (specifically goth, emo, and metalhead)

Impact of being a military kid mental health wise

Tattoos

Gojira or Type o Negative

Slenderman

How a lot of christian’s completely ignore “love thy neighbor”

Jurassic Park (all)

Dinosaurs (and real vs jurassic park/world ones)

How the creation of jurassic park is totally something that would happen if we had the ability to do it (not a good thing)

Subgenres

Vocals

Derealization

Bpd, ptsd, and autism

Songwriting and poetry