These Are All The PP Clips Made Into Shinkane Scenes By Detective Masterclass. Enjoy!

The Overview Effect

Observing Earth from space can alter an astronauts’ cosmic perspective, a mental shift known as the “Overview Effect.” First coined by space writer Frank White in 1987, the Overview Effect is described as a feeling of awe for our home planet and a sense of responsibility for taking care of it.

See Earth from the vantage point of our astronauts in these perspective-changing views:

Floating Free in Space

Astronaut Bruce McCandless II used his hands to control his movement above the Earth during the first-ever spacewalk that didn’t use restrictive tethers and umbilicals. Fellow crew members aboard the space shuttle Challenger captured this image on Feb. 7, 1984, through windows on the flight deck.

Of his famous spacewalk, McCandless wrote in 2015: “My wife [Bernice] was at mission control, and there was quite a bit of apprehension. I wanted to say something similar to Neil [Armstrong] when he landed on the moon, so I said, ‘It may have been a small step for Neil, but it’s a heck of a big leap for me.’ That loosened the tension a bit.”

Earth Reflections

Astronaut Tracy Caldwell Dyson looks through a window in the Cupola of the International Space Station (ISS). A blue and white part of Earth and the blackness of space are visible through the windows. The image was a self-portrait using natural light.

In a preflight interview for Expedition 23/24, Dyson said: “hands down, the best part about it is being able to look at that view every day and during the time frame we’ll be up there, hopefully, we’ll have a big bay window and much more opportunity to observe this beautiful planet.”

Taking in the View

As astronaut Nick Hague prepared to conclude his six-month stay aboard the ISS, he shared this photo saying: “Today is my last Monday living on this orbiting laboratory and I’m soaking up my final views. The @Space_Station is truly an engineering marvel. #MondayMotivation." 

He and Expedition 60 and Soyuz commander Alexey Ovchinin of the Russian space agency Roscosmos​ completed a 203-day mission, spanning 3,248 orbits of Earth, and a journey of 80.8 million miles.

Earthrise

On Dec. 24, 1968, Apollo 8 astronauts Frank Borman, Jim Lovell and Bill Anders became the first humans to witness the Earth rising above the Moon’s surface. 

 Anders, photographing the Moon from the right-side window, caught sight of the view, and exclaimed: “Oh my God, look at that picture over there! There’s the Earth comin’ up. Wow, is that pretty!”

The Blue Marble

Besides Earthrise, the Blue Marble is probably the most famous image of Earth that NASA has produced. Taken by the Apollo 17 crew on their way to the Moon in 1972, the Blue Marble and other NASA imagery of Earth has been credited by some with helping to fuel the environmental movement.

For more information on the Overview Effect, check out this episode of Houston We Have a Podcast. 

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com

Shop ‘Til U Drop, A guide to buying drama CDs

new decade, new shopping guide ✨ only took like?? 4 years??

Lucifer and Satan

(The pose from JJBA Oingo Boingo Brothers🍊🧨)

Last week Shiho Inada posted this new illustration on her locked account… and today she uploaded a new comic! But to get the joke behind it you’ll have to see this popular sketch by Japanese comedian Buruzon Chiemi: “Career Woman”. It’s a parody on a sassy career woman.

Original video with subtitles

English version of the skit

In a previous comic, Eugene made a prank video of him singing Piko Taro’s PPAP, while pretending to be Noll (who got very angry), and now…

Another present day joke

Gene: Every day you work desperately to hunt ghosts, but it’s still okay if you don’t rush yourself that much. 

Do you know how many ghosts there are on Earth?

Noll (thinking): He learned something weird again…

Gene: 3.5 BILLION… and 50 million more*.

This is Buruzon Eugene with Li… – Wait a minute! Lin! Didn’t I tell you to stand behind me!

Lin (with 3.5 billion on his back): I properly declined, didn’t I?

Noll (turns around): And? Will you tell me the grounds of your argument of there being 3.5 billion and 50 million spirits?

Gene: Ah! It’s not like that, this is really popular right now! 

Lin, help meee!

* The 50 million refers to the uneven ratio of males to females in the world.

Why were the twins left alive

This question is a question that interests everyone, and I thought of sharing my take on it:

It was all a test.

Previously I suggested that the Queen might always be watching her Watchdog, the Phantomhive Earl. You can find the post with that theory here. There I explained how I think the queen has always been watching our earl, since he returned from the demonic cult, all the way until now - however, I also believe she might’ve been watching over him (and his brother) from the moment they left the Phantomhive mansion. 

In fact, I believe that the twins were left alive with one purpose - to test them to see if either of them was strong enough to become the new Watchdog.

Also, this theory does not necessarily go with the RCMT, but also not against it. It works both ways. 

How I believe everything went down after Vincent was killed

It is clear that the queen needs a Watchdog. Whatever Vincent did - or refused to do - was something so bad that he simply couldn’t be left alive. I personally believe that people aren’t killed when they don’t do something - they’re killed when they know too much.

With Vincent dead, the Queen would need another Watchdog. The twins - especially the heir, Ciel Phantomhive - were young, but the Queen thought that, perhaps, they were capable. They had it in their blood.  So she figured she should test them: let the twins, who don’t know what their father knows, alive. Kidnap them and sell them to child traffickers, then keep an eye on them to see if they are capable of returning to their rightful place.

Here things could take a turn: the queen might or might have not sent them to the cult on purpose. She might have ordered her servants to give them to the child traffickers and it just happened that the man from the cult got to them, or she might have planned everything, including that the twins would get to the cult - to make it an even harsher experience and see if either of them is truly capable of making it out alive, of becoming the Watchdog. 

Once the twins got to the cult, the servant(s) of the queen kept on watching them, to see what would become of them. One of them, most likely John Brown, was there the night Sebastian was summoned and saw the whole thing. Most likely the servant also saw our!Ciel taking the identity of his older brother and informed the queen of this matter.

However, I don’t think she cares about that. The only thing that interested her was that someone strong enough returned to take over the duty of the Watchdog. Whichever twin it was, I don’t think she cares. Had both twins returned, naturally the older twin, the heir, would take the title and the duty. Had neither twin returned - it’s a matter for another post. It’s coming soon after this one. 

Perhaps this was also part of the reason why all the other Phantomhive servants had to be killed, so no one would help the twins, search for them or save them. Also why Tanaka wasn’t killed - but was injured. Tanaka, although he’s probably the one who knows the most in the story, and although he most likely also knows the identity of the mastermind, he has the duty of serving and preserving the Phantomhive bloodline. That’s why he says he cannot die before his master - there must always be a master to serve for a Phantomhive butler. 

There must always be a Watchdog.

Following up, I present a few clues that support/made me consider my theory. Do check them out if you’re interested. If not, then thank you for reading this far!

Clue 1: The twins were left alive on purpose

This couldn’t be any clearer. Whoever attacked the Phantomhive mansion had orders to leave the twins alive. In fact, in this post I also suggest the possibility that:

I believe there were two attackers not necessarily because both of them had to kill, but maybe because one was in charge of retrieving the twins.

Now why do I say they absolutely had to have orders to leave the twins alive? Well:

1) The attackers were too cruel to feel pity for the children. I don’t think it’s a matter of mercy.

2) If they wanted to kill them, they would have killed them on the spot, not taken them away.

3) If somebody else (an ally of Vincent, someone like Undertaker or Frances) had found them, I don’t think the children would have gotten to the traffickers.

So yeah. The only way I see it is that they were left alive on purpose.

Clue 2: There is a suspicious person present the night the twins were supposed to be sacrificed, who looks as if they were watching the whole thing

That person, basically. And I strongly believe that was one of the servants of the queen - most likely John Brown. A very important detail about this person: it looks like they are completely unfazed by Sebastian’s summoning, and they’re just observing how things went down. The fact that a demon just showed up doesn’t surprise them at all, which is… weird. Probably any regular human being would have, at least, been surprised. But they don’t seem surprised nor scared in the slightest.

Clue 3: Our Ciel didn’t have to pass any special tests when he returned to take the title

Remember how the queen tested our Earl’s abilities and loyalty in the Book of murders arc? That entire arc was a test, after the Circus act, to see if our Earl ‘still had what it needed to be the Watchdog of the queen’. However, upon his return from the cult, his abilities and loyalty were never tested. But how could that be?

Would the queen be foolish enough to give a child the duties of a Watchdog and have him killed immediately? Certainly not. She must have been absolutely certain that he was capable.

Clue 4: The Queen never referred to our young master directly by the name of “Ciel”

Except for that one letter when he just returned, but, when addressing him directly, I don’t think she’s ever called him “Ciel”.  She’s called him, instead, her dear boy or just Earl Phantomhive. Do correct me if I’m wrong.

Clue 5: In the whole time when there wasn’t a Watchdog, the queen didn’t make a single move to name another person - it’s like she was waiting to see what would happen

The twins were at the cult for an entire month. It’s true that it was around Christmas and the New Year, so maybe it was just convenient, but I still think is seems like she was waiting to see if either twin could, actually, escape the cult.

These are the main clues that got me to this theory. If I think of more, I will reblog and add to them. Thank you very much for reading all of this. Any thoughts on it? I welcome any comments, agreements or disagreements, as long as you keep in my mind it’s nothing but a theory - no need to take it personally. ^^

(DRAMA CD) Psycho Pass Zero Vol 1: Detectives’ Short Peace

Chinese Translation ♥

Kagari:  It’s rare for just the two of us to be out together, Akane-chan and I…

Akane: You’re right, now that you mentioned it.

Kagari: Even though we’ll hang out sometimes in the dorm, once outside Akane-chan is always with Ko-chan and Pops.

Akane: I think it’s just the scheduling… 

Kagari: There’s also the complicated power balance~

Akane: EH, power balance?

Kagari: No matter what, everyone greatly respects the Ace Ex-Inspector Ko-chan and experienced Enforcer Pops. And we have to consider the feelings of current Inspector Ginoza-san.

Akane: Feelings?

Kagari: That person has gone through a lot.

Akane: Haah… 

Kagari: In any case, because of Ko-chan and Pops, Kuni-cchi and I have to draw the shorter end of the stick.

Akane: Don’t make Ginoza-san out to be the shorter end of the stick! 

Kagari: We’re not at the Bureau, so you can be more honest, Akane-chan~~ 

Akane: Eh, eh?

Keep reading

       She can’t change him. He thinks she realized that a long time ago. Maybe when they first met and she was forced to shoot him. Or maybe when he murdered Makishima. Or maybe when he ran with his tail between his legs – ran from her love, from her softness, from her.

He doesn’t expect to see her so soon. But she’s there – she’s smiling at him and sweaty and flushed like she came running. And she probably did. There is a chance to push her away, to say no, but he doesn’t try.

With her thin arms, with her pretty smile, she whispers, “Found you.”

.

.

       She’s a force to be reckon with.

Even the men within the base know that. When Akane trains with them, shows them how to take apart a gun and put it back together, wipes sweat off her brow and work from dawn until night. They respect her, Kougami can tell.

He can’t blame them.

She’s also pretty good with the kids. They immediately gravitate towards her, wide smiles and bright eyes. She picks one up and holds the child against her. Before long, she’s pointing a finger over towards where Kougami sits and watches.

He blinks.

The two both smile at him. He can’t help but give a smile back, no matter how tired it may be.

.

.

       He loves her. He loves her so fucking much.

Touching her feels like a sin. Just being in her presence is enough to make him want to drop to his knees.

She says it all the time, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

And he loves her too. He’s not sure how to respond. He gives her a quick kiss, he offers a smile, he wraps his arms around her. They could stay up all night, it can range from talking to fucking. Sometimes it turns into lovemaking – his hands dragging down her body slowly, testing the softness of her breasts and the firmness of her arms – sometimes it’s desperate ( he feels like he can’t breathe without her, he feels like he’ll drown, like he’s going too fast down a street but he doesn’t want to stop because the thrill of her makes him feel alive. )

He feels her heart race against his as they press together, sweaty and sticky and panting.

“What’re you so afraid of?” She whispers, the sun breaking through the window, highlighting the different colors within her hair.

He swallows ( you, you, us ), “I don’t know.”

.

.

       They both have nightmares.

His are vivid. His always seem real. He’s running. Or he’s chasing someone, he’s not too sure. Other times, he has blood on his hands. Sometimes on his clothes. Other times Makishima is there. And a few times, he remembers seeing Sasayama.

Akane cries sometimes when she wakes up, shaking like a leaf in a storm, arms wrapped around herself and teeth worrying her lip. She tries to keep it in – she’s a lot like him in that regard. But it’s spilling out too fast, and if she doesn’t stop, she’ll overflow.

So he holds her. Not only for her, but himself too.

She’s delicate in his arms. Hot tears soak through his shirt. He knows they’ve done so much to get to where they were, he can’t blame her for letting it out once in awhile.

He wish he could do the same.

.

.

       He has to be strong.

Hell, Kougami has had to be strong his entire life. For his team, for Akane, for his men.

As the war wraps up, as blood is shed and cleaned from hands, he looks onward. There is no turning back – that ship sailed a long time ago.

He looks up, eyes immediately falling onto the graceful curve of her back, her slender neck, and her brown hair matted to her forehead. She was talking with one of the guys - Deshi, he’d lost his arm a couple months ago, but that didn’t seem to stop him from having a smile on his face.

As if feeling his stare, Akane turns her head slightly to the side and offers a smile of her own. It was blinding in its own way, his shoulders relaxing by instinct.

She really had no idea how much he needed her now.

.

.

       She didn’t tell him at first.

To be completely honest, he could understand why.

He paces back and forth across the small space they had. His shin bangs against the side of the end table, but that didn’t break him from his thoughts. Akane watches him with large, amber eyes. Finally, he stops in the middle of the room, arms instinctively crossing over his chest.

“How…How long have you known?”

Akane drops her gaze. There was an ache in his chest, “A month, at least.”

He nods, even though it takes awhile for his brain to process the words. He almost wants to laugh at the irony. God - if there fucking was one, which he seriously doubts - really doesn’t like him. Even though things are calmer now, with not only the chairman but the SEAUn as well, there is still too much danger.

Way too much to even consider – to even think of that.

But this doesn’t stop him. This doesn’t stop him from slowly crossing the room until he’s in front of her. Akane blinks, hands nervously curled in front of her as he crouches down. This doesn’t stop him from leaning towards her, face close to hers for a few seconds.

Finally, he breathes, “I want it to look like you.”

Not like him. Nothing like him.

Akane blinks, and then blinks again. Her lips are parted into an O shape and so he leans in and steals a kiss. Finally, she smiles, “That’s funny. I was thinking the same thing.”

.

.

       He doesn’t tell anyone she’s pregnant. It’s not only no one’s business but their own, but also a dangerous thing to know. What could he possibly do if the word got out? Any enemies would probably jump at a chance to get their hands on Akane.

Kougami grits his teeth at the thought, hands twitching by his sides. He hasn’t had a cigarette in over an hour. One thing he also has to improve on - smoking around a baby was a big, fat no apparently.

When Akane had stopped smoking all-together, she made it look so easy. It was not only frustrating, but something admirable about her. Once she set her mind to something, it was impossible to stop her from achieving it.

From underneath the protection of a small roof, Kougami watches the rain fall.

“Kougami?”

He turns his head towards the voice to see Cho-Sun, watching him curiously. Kougami merely grunts in reply, pushing himself up off the wall.

“Everyone’s inside eating,” the man continues.

Kougami merely nods. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t the least bit annoyed. His hands are twitching so much to delve into his pocket and take out his pack that he’s forced to cross his arms over his chest. “I’m not that hungry.”

Not only was the large group they had short on food, but medicine as well. Kougami could go a couple days without eating - Akane used to do the same thing, but now she didn’t have much of a choice.

“Is that right?”

“Mm.”

“You said the same thing yesterday.”

Kougami feels his lips twitch, “Did I?”

There is silence between them, the rain deafening.

Drip. Drop. Drip.

“You should take a break.”

Kougami glances at him.

“Me and the guys were talking and – well, there’s a temple about a day away from here, farther up the hill. That’d be a nice play for you and Tsunemori to relax. She seems more tired lately.”

Kougami stays quiet, considering it. For the last couple weeks, things had been relatively peaceful. No shootings, no surprise attacks, etc. Still, peace only seems to drive Kougami up the wall even more than violence. But the mere thought of quiet and being alone with Akane is enough to make his shoulders relax.

“Mm. I’ll look into it.”

.

.

       “Be careful.”

“I am being careful, worrywart.”

Kougami snorts, hands deep within his pockets. Now, she was calling him names? “Don’t blame me if you fall.” It isn’t like he won’t be able to catch her.

Akane balances herself on an overturned tree trunk, arms spread out on her sides. She looks as if she is flying - it makes him stare.

“How far away is the temple again?”

This time, he really does laugh, even though it was just a breath of laughter - she’s asked this around three times already. “I did offer to carry you, you know.”

Akane turns her head slightly, an impish grin there, “You would have to catch me first.”

“I’m always up for a good challenge.”

.

.

       This love scares him. He already knows this.

This love makes him reckless. This love makes him frustrated. This love makes him crazy.

Touching her is an addiction in itself. Her soft body molds against his, pliant while his is unyielding. Now, the slight bump in her stomach makes it a bit more difficult to press together, but he doesn’t mind it. In fact, he enjoys it more than he originally thought he would.

As she lays back, hand lazily tracing over his thigh, he presses a warm hand against her stomach. The area is firm and swollen, a slight redness to it. He curves his palm around and she sighs.

There is life here. Something they created together. Something that was meant to be. Kougami wasn’t really one to believe in fate, but he’d also believe he couldn’t be happy either.

For the first time in a long time, he gave her a smile, eyes crinkling at the edges. It reminds them both of better times, simpler times. It reminds them that now - they are no longer Inspector and Enforcer.

They’re just two people in love.

.

.

       For seven more months, he stays by her side. He never leaves her for longer than a couple hours. Her stomach grows big, the women within the base help her around, and she is given full meals every day.

She feels selfish, he can tell. He is quick to reassure her though.

He’s scared again. When his hands slightly shake when they press against her stomach, against the life they created, she smiles softly at him, holding them steady for him - like she does all the time, “I love you, Shinya.”

Deep down, he hopes that is enough.

Things are easier between them. He can kiss her without feeling like his lungs will burst at any second, he can touch her without flinching, he can look at her without glancing away just a second later. There is still that guilt - unrelenting and thick within his stomach. It will not leave him, he knows it won’t leave until the day he dies.

Love stings. Love is frightening. But, fucking hell, he would do anything at this point to stay with her. To build this future with her. For once, there is light at the end of the tunnel and he is climbing towards it desperately.

He wants this. He wants her. He wants them - us.

.

.

       “…What do you think it’ll be?”

He looks up from his book - he’s read it so many times that the pages are worn now. Kougami feels his lips tilt upwards - nowadays, it seems he is unable to control his smile. Something that only happens around her, “You’re asking me.”

She was sitting up, eyes playful and already smiling, hand resting upon her swollen stomach. “Yes, I’m asking you.”

The former Enforcer stares at her - he cannot help it. Simply having her presence beside him, it makes his body feel weightless. As selfish as he is, a part of him wants to understand why he can’t let her go. If things had gone differently, if he’d told her to stay away, would she still have come?

He wants to laugh outloud at the thought. Of course she would.

Her eyes are warm, patient.

Finally, he sits up, “Aren’t you supposed to have a feeling? I’ve heard that before - mothers usually know the gender before they’re born.”

“Maybe I’m an exception.” She is only saying that - she probably had a good feel of what it would be, she just wanted to hear what he was going to say.

Slowly, he moves towards her, and she opens her arms for him, allowing him to press his ear against her stomach quietly.

Here, with her and their child, he feels at peace. Things seem to evaporate around them - while the acute awareness of what happens around them is still there, her presence seems to blanket over him. He does not deserve her, he does not deserve this small sliver of happiness. He knows that, he knows that in some ways, he has ruined her.

As if noticing his change in thoughts, she places a hand on Kougami’s head, smoothing down his hair and fingers touching his cheek. He breathes in deep, her scent causing his stomach to tighten.

“I think it’ll be a girl.”

In reply, Akane gives him her biggest, prettiest smile, “Me, too.”

There is peace within him.

.

.

       It all ends on a sunny day.

The summer is ending - things are dwindling down once again. Kougami hasn’t heard the alarm sound away in what seems like months. Children and women are sometimes allowed to walk around during daylight, allowing the kids to dance and sing and smile as much as they want as they play.

Laughter this free is foreign to Kougami, but he basks in it anyway.

Even so, he does not stop what he is so used to. He trains with his men every day, he eats small meals, he watches the edges of their base for any type of trouble. None comes. Sweating and tense, Kougami glances over, his eyes immediately soughting her out to soothe away the itching feeling.

Akane sits on the steps, eyes bright and smile even brighter. Familiarly, she cups a hand over her stomach, and the other lifts to wave at him. He doesn’t respond, head tilts curiously and a drop of sweat rolling down her temple. She is getting bigger - besides her stomach, Akane hasn’t grown much. Not only is the infant inside her weighing her down, he worries if she will be able to deliver it naturally.

But today is peaceful, he decides. He should not worry about small things that are yet to come.

He hasn’t told her. He probably won’t. When she reaches eight months, he intends for her to leave here. He has a few contacts, fortunately, that’ll be able to help her find somewhere safe to stay and to deliver the baby. Being born on a battlefield - he wouldn’t ever want that.

He knows she will argue, but there won’t be much point to it. She also knows he has a duty, and his burdens isn’t hers to carry. Once things have wrapped up here, he will follow after her. And he will gladly start a new life with her. He wants quiet mornings, wrapped around each other within the blankets. He wants to teach his child all he knows, watching them crawl and then walk. She wants to hold the woman he loves against him, to feel her heart against his as they finally allow their bodies to relax.

He wants happiness. It’s a normal human reaction, he knows. Even though he doesn’t deserve it, he wants it.

His thoughts are broken, however, when the signal for the alarm goes off.

.

.

      Chaos.

It is to be expected.

The women and children are rushing, some screaming and others crying. Fumbling to find their mothers and their sons and daughters. His eyes sweep the area, searching for her, but her image is blocked and swept along with the rest of the crowd.

He curses.

Now he is able to hear it - gunshots. They are a familiar sound, and his instinct kicks in, beats into him. He must never forget - he is a dog, a hound, a wolf. It is his job to survive, no matter what the consequences. His tongue feels heavy within his mouth, but this doesn’t stop him, “Bayani! Chenglei!!”

The two men nod, and take off towards their positions, two groups of soldiers following the two wherever they may go. Guerrillas learn fast, they move fast, and there is no room for error. He follows swiftly - fortunately, it’s probably a rival base that simply want his head. With their clumsy infiltration, hopefully, things will be resolved soon.

The area is mostly clear. He is able to draw his weapon without worries. This is what he trained himself to do, this is how he survives, after all.

.

.

       There is destruction. There is blood. There is sweat.

Vaguely, he hears screaming.

His head is ringing, and he can’t feel his left leg. It takes a moment to realize what happened - a bomb had gone off, apparently. It knocked him off his feet and the air out of his lungs. The men that had been following behind him hadn’t been so lucky.

He is unsure of how long he has been out – but it couldn’t have been more than five to ten minutes. The fires created had yet to burn out, and the bodies were still fresh. Frustrated, he turns his face away the gruesome scene.

His leg is still there - but a fresh gash is embedded into the side. He bleeds profusely, but this doesn’t stop him. Survival sometimes comes easy to him - somehow, he is still alive. There must be a reason for it, and so he stands, ignoring the pain shooting up his leg and moves. His enemies must sometimes get frustrated that he won’t die so easily.

He shoots down whoever he sees. The enemy’s reflexes are slow and clumsy, and he has plenty of time to take them down. Even though running takes a toll on his leg, even though he is forced to see the remains of men, he still moves. And he keeps surviving.

She is at the forefront of his mind. Getting back to her is the only thing that makes sense to him now.

As he breaks through the trees, his eyes fall onto the sight of a young boy. He remembers seeing his face around the base before, he has a younger sister as well ( and her body lays a few feet away ).

His stomach is suddenly filled with ice.

The women and children…!

He sees more bodies thrown around - three women and five children, so far. Some with overwhelming burns, others with bullets within their bodies. His grinds his teeth, pushes himself to move faster.

Panic isn’t something he does normally. Not since–

He rounds the corner - an elder woman is crouched on the ground, praying. He moves past her swiftly. His men are there, armed. Though it is a smaller number than before, they have still successfully kept the grounds safe and he almost falls to his knees at the relief.

It is short-lived, however.

For when they see him, the looks on their faces tell him enough.

Apparently, his world is able to shatter fairly easily.

.

.

        She suffered two bullets to the back - one directly hit her mid-spine and the other made it through her chest.

She didn’t die instantly.

It turns out they were right.

It was a girl.

.

.

       Years pass in a blur.

There are many times where he asks himself - how am I still alive and she is not? Was this punishment - some type of punishment for the many wrongs he’d done? He can’t particularly blame the higher ups for that, then.

No, he blames himself.

He always blames himself.

There are many nights where he lay in bed, unable to sleep. Where he is unable to even force food into his mouth without growing sick at the taste. Where his gaze falls onto the pistol on his bedside and suddenly he has it in his mouth, aiming upwards.

He’s forcing himself to suffer, isn’t he?

He deserves this. I deserve this, I deserve this.

He tries not to think of her often. He isn’t very good at that. He is also unsure whether or not to call the dreams she’s in nightmares. Do they count as nightmares if he strives every night - if only he can get a few minutes of rest - to see her face?

It’s torture.

I deserve this. I deserve this.

He doesn’t even give into the hallucinations anymore. She touches his back, right over where his heart is - it’s still beating, why? She kisses his jaw, feather light and ghostly. She sits on his stomach while he’s laying there, watching her lips move. He doesn’t try to touch her ( she’s not real, she’s not fucking real ).

Slowly, his eyes flicker over to the gun sitting on his bedside table.

I deserve this.

.

.

       He keeps himself busy, because what else is there to do.

A gun in his hand, smoke leaving his mouth, liquor within his stomach. How he has survived this long, he will never know. He is reckless with his life - he even starts fights only to give up in the middle and allow them free reign.

Nothing is as painful. Not even broke ribs and a punctured lung.

They can probably tell he wants death from looking into his eyes. Which is why they won’t give it to him. They’re sadists, they beat him half to death and then leave him. His body will not quit, it won’t give up from any of it.

It does what it knows. It survives.

Whether he likes it or not.

.

.

       Every morning, he remembers her.

He remembers her touch, he remembers her smile, he remembers her eyes.

She was protective. She was determined. She was generous.

She was everything he was not - she could see the beauty in things. Even in him.

She was a girl who wanted to save the world. But not save herself.

He loved ( hated ) that about her.

.

.

       “You’ll die like this. It’s a pity.”

Kougami ignores the voice - for it inside his head. Pointedly, he looks away from the person in front of him, the smile, the familiar slouch of shoulders.

“It’s really a shame.”

His hands tighten into fists between his legs.

Makishima smiles again. “Is this how you want to die? Here?”

In the middle of nowhere. Where no one would find his body. Yeah, it sounded pretty good to him.

“I never thought I’d see something like this. For someone such as yourself to fall here.”

Heh.

Kougami closes his eyes.

A few seconds later, he distinctly hears the Illusion walk away. He will not talk to the dead - he decided that a long time ago.

.

.

       Four years.

When he looks at the calendar for the first time, he realizes it’s been four years.

There is this dull throb that resonates through him. But he’s starting to realize it will always be there.

.

.

       “You look like shit.”

“…I feel like shit.”

His voice is rough, but soft. He has not spoken aloud in so long, it feels foreign. The woman in front of him pushes back her long hair, eyeing him for a few moments, “…Are you sure you’re up for this?”

He can do nothing but stare at her.

She releases a sign, but moves out of the doorway to let him through. There is clear hesitation in his steps, mouth tilted down in a grimace as he steps inside. The apartment is clean, even though the neighborhood wasn’t as good as he would prefer. He was starting to realize - the rest of the world could probably never be as stable as Japan.

He’s glad he will never have to go back there.

She is probably waiting for him to take a seat, but instead, he stays standing, shoving hands within his pockets. He looks a mess - he knows it. Five o’clock shadow, hair strewn every which way across his head, shirt wrinkled. Still, she says nothing about it.

“I’ll go and get her. Don’t worry - she’s quiet. And she loves new people.”

He doesn’t say anything.

She leaves the room and he is left alone.

A few minutes later, the door to the kitchen opens again.

He looks up and stares.

.

.

       Vaguely, he wonders how many times his world can break and restart ( over and over and over and over and over again ).

.

.

       The small girl stares back. Her hair is short, barely reaching her shoulders. She is still wearing pajamas, but her expression is curious and open.

His heart was slamming so hard against his ribcage, he thinks it will bruise.

Slowly, she steps further into the room, the door closing behind her. There is three feet between them, she is small and delicate and he is large and unyielding.

His hand reaches up on its own record and rubs down the expanse of his jaw, the action made out of pure instinct. He felt like he would bolt at any second - he didn’t know the face of his demons would look this way.

His eyes were beginning to sting.

.

.

        He hesitates. There is tension between them. She tilts her head slightly to the side, chin up to look at him fully.

“Aoi-chan, don’t be rude. Say hello,” Says the woman behind her - she’d stepped into the room to watch.

The young girl blinks, as though she was being broken from her thoughts. Quickly, she bows to him, “Hello, my name is Aoi.” Her voice - fuck, her voice is small, words slightly slurred and thick from her age.

This really is torture. His heart felt like it would burst out of his chest any minute. His eyes wouldn’t stop stinging. The impossible weight of the world was holding him down. Scars - new and old - burned on his body.

He opens his mouth to say something - anything - but nothing comes out and he is forced to close it. He’s pretty sure his throat is closed up pretty tightly at this point.

“What’s your name?”

He stares. Her large amber eyes stare up at him. It takes him a few seconds - probably ten. But she waits, patient. “Kougami Shinya.”

Her lips mouth the name a couple times, as though to commit it to memory. He does not move for a long time, but when he does, his knees feel weak and he is forced to crouch in front of her.

He doesn’t touch her. He doesn’t want to ruin something else - not her.

Her eyes are alight with questions, thick lashes fluttering when she blinks. Her hair is messy. They hold eye contact for what seems like hours, her head still tilted slightly to the side as though she was trying to figure him out.

Finally, she smiled.

In that same instant, his breath was stolen away from him.

“Kougami Shinya, it’s nice to meet you.”

.

.

       She looks just like her mom.

ShinKane or KouAka 💕 MY OTP

Ghost Hunt Fanfic Recs:

Incomplete: 

dreaming of the seaside by needo, Rated M Summary: In a small seaside community in the south of Japan, local police had tired of a half-century long string of inexplicable drownings and have reached out to SPR to help them. Though their surroundings look like a oceanic dream, there is something sinister lurking underneath the pretty blue of the ocean. SPR have years of experience, but are they prepared for what’s in store?

Book One: Limbus by C.S. Isui, Rated T Summary:  Limbus: Limbo is reserved for the wandering souls who cannot enter heaven. Some of them stay where they are, peaceful and dormant, accepting their fate but not all that are lost remain lost. Some want to be found. Will Mai, Naru, and the gang find what is lost before its too late?

Sweet Dreams by Mayurei, Rated M Summary:  What do spilt tea, stalker ghosts, self analysis while you sleep and narcissistic bosses have in common? Taniyama Mai. Expect fluff, heroic tendencies and a long suffering assistant, who definitely didn’t ask for any of this.  

The Transfer by Malindorie, Rated T Summary: Mai Taniyama’s transfer application to Cambridge University says she wants to study Parapsychology. Not on the application: a secret transfer that will bring Mai and Naru together and simultaneously tear them apart. Japan’s SPR follows Naru to England..

Complete: 

A Long Time Coming by GlitterCyborgPrincess, Rated T Summary:  It took a long time, but Mai finally realized why that one question was so absolutely devastating. She doesn’t like easy and agreeing with him made it *suspiciously* easy. Mai preferred a challenge.

Feeding on Fear by CoffeeQuills, Rated E Summary: Naru has a new case and it’s already giving him vague feelings of foreboding, prompting him to only take volunteers to Kiryu, Gunma, where the bodies of an entire family have been found. Then Monk goes missing, plunging the SPR team into chaos. With Mai’s growing nightmares and Masako’s mysterious illness, the stakes have been raised. In the end, will determination be enough to save them all? Or will someone slip through the cracks?

Trusting Intuition by rowankitsune18, Rated T Summary: Seven years have passed since Naru left for England and everyone in their own way has moved own. However, things begin to change when Masako invites Mai to a paranormal conference in London. A chance meeting; uncertain future. And who is the strange boy alone at the party? (NaruxMai)

I Am Still Here by Koizumi_Scarlet, Rated M Summary: As an investigator for SPR, Mai is used to seeing malicious spirits. However, their newest case may be the most dangerous one yet, especially as the haunting becomes more complex and confounding than ever. With Naru back for the first time in almost two years, Mai must navigate her feelings as well as the haunted house. With things not as they seem, can Mai survive to see the end?

Don’t Go Outside by Koizumi_Scarlet, Rated M  Summary: Mai and Naru was ready to enjoy a leisure visit to Naru’s parents in England over Christmas. Yet an unexpected visitor in the night threw a spanner in the works and they are needed on a case that’s already proven itself dangerous. Travelling to London’s most famous insane Asylum, they must separate the truth from the lies to solve the mystery and perhaps save a soul in the process. Sequel to IASH.

I’ll probably expand this list later on to include more.

Temptation ➝Shinkane Week 2019 Day 4 ➝WC: 7225 / Rating: explicit

Upon his return to the country, Akane visits an old friend to get drinks and catch up.

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