Soul Cakes And Halloween Costumes

req’d by @qolden-crowns

hm. babygulrot.

text: This next baby carrot will fix me

Elven Marruth

“Sometimes reductively referred to as “root pies” by dwarves and humans, marruth are incredibly hearty closed-faced canapés that are filled with spiced and herbed mashes of vegetables (carrots, potatoes, and carrots) and then lightly baked in a flaky, buttery crust.” - Heroes’ Feast, p. 64

Eating seasonal foods is a popular option because it helps local growers, tastes fresher, and makes you feel more connected to the season. Now, this is all well and good if you live in a climate with longer or all-year growing seasons; but what can you expect to be growing when you’re knee-deep in snow?

Believe it or not, there are winter seasonal vegetables! (rip fruit, you’ll be missed until spring)

Elven Marruth from Heroes’ Feast is a great use of hardy winter-season produce. The small pastries make for a great snack alongside a warm bowl of soup or, thanks to their nutritious filling, a great meal on their own!

These small pastries also hold a special place in my heart for being the first recipe I ever made from Heroes’ Feast (alongside Underdark Lotus with Fire Lichen Spread on p. 93)!

Check out below for my process in creating the house and for some helpful tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Prep: 15 mins + pie crust, if making                 Cook: 2h 30 mins

Total: 2h 45 mins

Ingredients:

1 small yellow onion, finely chopped*

1 small Yukon gold potato, peeled and cut into ½-inch pieces

2 carrots, peeled and finely chopped*

2 cups (300 g) packed finely chopped green cabbage*

3 tbsp. (44 ml) extra-virgin olive oil

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

2 tsp. (3 g) finely chopped fresh thyme, plus 1 ½ tbsp. (4 g) picked whole thyme leaves**

¾ tsp. (4 ml) soy sauce

¼ cup (4 g) chopped fresh dill

All-purpose flour for dusting

Pastry for 2 double-crust pies, thawed if frozen

1 egg

* To cut down on prep time, roughly chop the onion, carrot, and cabbage and then process them together in a food processor. You’ll need about 15 pulses get them all finely chopped.

** To pick the whole thyme leaves, pinch a stem of thyme and run your fingers down the opposite way the leaves are pointing.

First, preheat the oven to 375℉ (190℃) with the racks in the upper-middle and lower-middle of the oven. Line two large rimmed baking sheets with parchment paper or nonstick (silicone) liners.

Then, in a bowl, combine the onion, potato, carrots, cabbage, and olive oil and toss to coat the vegetables with the oil (top-left). Add ½ tsp. salt and a few grinds of pepper and toss to distribute (top-right).

Transfer the mixture to one of the prepared baking sheets, spreading it into a thin, even layer (set the bowl aside) (top-left).

Roast the vegetables on either rack until tender, 25 to 30 minutes, stirring and turning the vegetables two or three times (top-right).

NOTE: I misread the instructions so I spread the mixture over both sheets.

Remove the baking sheet from the oven, add the chopped thyme, and stir to incorporate it. Spread out the mixture and allow to cool to room temperature for about 20 minutes.

Leave the oven on for more baking and return the cooled veggies to the now-empty bowl. Stir in the soy sauce, dill, ¾ tsp. salt, and pepper to taste. Adjust the seasoning as necessary, and set aside until needed.

If making the filling ahead of time, turn off the oven, transfer the cooled mixture to a tupperware, and put it in the fridge until needed.

Replace the parchment paper on the baking sheet or wash the non-stick liner and return it to the baking sheet. Have a small bowl of water handy.

Dust a large piece of parchment paper or a clean work surface with flour. Working with one ball of homemade pastry at a time, or one sheet of store-bought pastry, roll the dough into a 12-inch (30 cm) circle (top-left).

Sprinkle half of the whole thyme leaves evenly over the pastry, cover with a piece of parchment paper, and roll lightly to help the thyme stick (top-right).

Flip the pastry over so the thyme leaves are on the bottom, and set aside. Repeat with the remaining pastry and remaining whole thyme leaves.

With a 4-inch (10 cm) round biscuit or cookie cutter, cut at least six circles out of each pastry round.

TIP: To keep the pastry as chilled as possible for maximum ~flakiness~ while baking, work with and cut out circles from one ball of pastry at a time. Place each cut circle on a plate covered with cling film and put in the fridge until needed.

Keep the scraps from the first dough ball in the fridge and combine with the scraps from the second dough ball. Roll out the combined scraps for extra circles.

NOTE: My pie crust recipe gives quite a bit of dough, so you’ll end up cutting out way more than the six asked for by Heroes’ Feast.

Working with as many of the pastry circles as you feel comfortable with to keep the dough chilled, place 1 ½ tbsp. (one slightly rounded tbsp.) of the vegetable mixture in the center of each round, leaving a ½-inch border around the edge.

Working with one piece of pastry at a time, moisten the edge of the pastry circle and fold over the pastry over the filling to make a half-moon shape. Press out any trapped air, press the edges firmly to seal, and crimp the edges using a fork to secure the seal.

Transfer the crimped pastries to a separate plate and keep in the fridge until ready to cook.

Repeat with the remaining pastry rounds and filling.

Once all of the pastries are ready, transfer them onto the prepared baking sheets.

In a small bowl, beat the egg with 1 tbsp. water and brush the tops and sides of each marruth with the mixture (top-left).

Bake until the marruths are light golden brown and crisp, about 25 minutes, rotating the sheets 180 degrees and switching racks halfway through baking (top-right).

Set the baking sheets on wire racks, cool the pastries for about 5 minutes, and serve hot.

NOTE: Despite the recipe only being supposed to make 12, I’ve always gotten somewhere between 18-22 marruths from the filling.

NOTE: You’ll notice the BIG marruth I’ve made on the tray. I was trying to see if I could make a larger version of this recipe since I’d made smaller ones of the Hand Pies (p. 21). However, the consensus was that the smaller ones were better. Expect 4-5 more marruths than shown if not making the big one.

Overall, I would give this recipe a 5/5. I’m usually not a huge fan of vegetable-based dishes, but these veggie turnovers are awesome. I’ve made them for weekend lunches and many a movie night and they’re always a massive hit!

The vegetables really work together with the soy sauce and herbs to create a great flavour with a texture reminiscent of a spring roll. If you’re looking for a more savoury turnover, this one’s for you.

MAKE SURE TO EAT THEM WARM though. It might just be me, but they don’t really work if they’re any colder than room temperature.

I would also recommend making the filling and pie crust on one day and assembling them the next day. It makes the cooking time a lot less daunting and not eat up your free time :)

P.S. You can make these for someone who doesn’t like onion by leaving it out. I’ve made them like this before and they said they were great!

this dude makes tiktoks of him reloading household objects like they’re fps weapons and they’re so fucking satisfying

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

dishwashing affirmations

the dishes are more scared of you than you are scared of them.

if you put on a little song you can have a dish washing party.

washing dishes is a great way to make new friends (e.g. frying pans, cups, etc.).

despite any misinformation you may see online, a fork has never bitten anyone. they are gentle, even-tempered creatures that often just want to nap.

i accept payment by cash or card, quality street

Fridgerator wrapped. You ate 326 eggs.

Delzoun "Tide-Me-Overs"

“While these are customary consumables at Hornmoot, the traditional human-dwarven trading festival that marks the dawn of Spring, there isn’t a holiday on the eventful dwarven calendar that doesn’t feature these scrumptious meats on the menu.” - Heroes’ Feast, p. 90

Personally, you’d be hard-pressed to find a more dwarven food than the good old-fashioned meatball. 

Heroes’ Feast’s Delzoun “Tide-Me-Overs” bring dwarven kitchens to life with these extremely tasty and juicy meatballs! Leagues better than anything you’d buy at the grocery store, I would absolutely suggest making these yourself.

This recipe is also ridiculously forgiving. Once, I doubled nearly all the ingredients by accident, aside from the meat, and they still came out amazing!

If you don’t eat pork, no worries! They’re just as tasty using only beef!

Check out below for tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Prep: 15 mins            Cook: 1h 30 mins            Total: 1h 45 mins

Ingredients:

¼ cup (60 ml) heavy cream*

1 egg

2 slices dark bread (such as rye), crusts discharged, remainder torn into pieces**

3 tbsp. (43 g) unsalted butter

1 small onion, finely chopped

Kosher salt

¼ tsp. (2 g) ground allspice 

8 oz (225 g) ground pork

8 oz (225 g) lean ground beef

Freshly ground black pepper

2 tbsp. (8 g) all-purpose flour

1 ½ cups (350 ml) low-sodium chicken broth

1 tsp. (4 g) light brown sugar

1 ½ tsp. (7 ml) soy sauce

½ tsp. (2 ml) fresh lemon juice

3 tbsp. (12 g) finely chopped fresh dill or parsley

* I’ve used both heavy cream and half-and-half with no issues.

** I used Vienna-style Pumpernickel Bread, cut into standard ½ -inch sandwich slices at the thickest part of the loaf.

In a large bowl, whisk together the cream and egg (top-left).

Add the bread, mix well, and set aside, stirring occasionally, until the bread is softened, about 20 minutes (top-right).

Using a fork or sturdy spoon, mash the bread into a paste and set aside (bottom).

NOTE: Apparently, the bread is not what binds the meat/other ingredients together, but works with the milk to give the meatballs moisture and texture! The eggs are the only binding ingredient.

In hindsight, this makes sense, since in baking eggs are a binder…

Meanwhile, in a skillet over medium heat, melt 1 tbsp. (14 g) of the butter. Add the onion and ½ tsp. (3 g) salt and cook, stirring, until softened, about 4 minutes (left).

Add the allspice and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 40 seconds (right).

Remove from heat and let them cool to room temperature. Laying mine in a single layer in the skillet, it took about 10 minutes.

TIP: Don’t be afraid to eat some of the onions to see if they’ve softened enough.

TIP: Cooling my onions in a single layer in the skillet took about 10 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 475℉ (245℃) with a wire rack in the middle of the oven. Coat a large wire rack with nonstick cooking spray and set it in a large, rimmed baking sheet.

Add the cooled onion mixture, pork, ground beef, baking powder, 1 tsp. (5 g) salt and ½ tsp. (1 g) pepper to the bread paste and, using a large spoon or your hands, mix until well combined and uniform.

TIP: To save yourself time when doing the dishes, line the baking sheet with aluminum foil so you don’t need to scrape any burned bits off.

NOTE: Personally, I didn’t run into this problem while making mine, but it’s important to only mix the meat mixture until everything is just combined. Overmixing will result in stiffer, tougher meatballs.

With moistened hands, form the mixture into generous 1-tablespoon-sized balls (left).

Arrange the meatballs on the rack in the baking sheet and bake until lightly browned, about 20 minutes, rotating the pan halfway through (right).

NOTE: I had to make double the amount of pork/beef meatballs since 8 oz packages of each ground meat were not available. Expect about half the amount of meatballs that you see here if making this yourself.

NOTE: The meatballs will sag through the wire rack a little bit when placed, this is fine!

NOTE: The ones shown above are the size Heroes’ Feast recommends. I wanted them to be a little bit larger the second time I made them, so I went for golf-ball sized. The cooking time stayed the same, but I found the weight of them might have been a bit too much and they lost way more structure than the smaller ones. 

However, that was also the time I accidentally doubled all the ingredients aside from the meat, so I’m sure there was more at play there. Just something to keep in mind. They still came out great though! In fact, they’re the ones shown in the final picture.

Wipe out the skillet used for the onions to remove any stray onion bits, set it over medium heat, and melt the remaining 2 tbsp. (28 g) butter. Stirring constantly, cook until fragrant and a shade darker, 1 to 2 minutes.

Add flour and cook, stirring constantly, until golden, 2 to 3 minutes (top-left).

Switch to a whisk and, whisking constantly, gradually add the broth. Continuing to whisk often, cook for about 2 minutes (top-right).

Add the brown sugar, soy sauce, lemon juice, and ¼ tsp. (0.5 g) pepper and continue to whisk and cook until thickened, about 2 more minutes (bottom).

NOTE: The Heroes’ Feast “cook’s notes” mentions that the sauce will thicken quickly as it cools, and to add extra chicken broth to loosen the consistency.

They’re absolutely right! It’s more obvious in the next pictures but the sauce thickens a lot. It’s also a lot darker than what’s shown in the preview image in the book, so I’m not sure how much extra broth they had to add, but it seems like quite a bit.

Add meatballs to the sauce and simmer, stirring occasionally, until heated through, about 4 minutes (left).

Stir in most of the dill or parsley and taste and adjust the seasoning with additional salt and pepper, if necessary (right).

Transfer to a serving dish, sprinkle with remaining dill or parsley, and serve hot.

Overall, I would give this recipe a 5/5. It was a little daunting since the ingredients list was so long, but once I got started making the meatballs it was actually remarkably simple! They’re really juicy, have great texture, and the allspice-seasoned onions are so tasty!

The sauce is a little awkward to make, but it does add amazing flavour. But, again, the meatballs retained so much moisture you don’t really need a sauce to enjoy them!

Honestly, if you have the time and are sick of store-bought meatballs, definitely give these a try. 

Finally, as I mentioned earlier, you can totally make these with only beef (shown in the final picture above)! They’ll still retain quite a bit of moisture and be super delicious.

Hand Pies

(Includes small, snackable pies!)

“The variety [of hand pies] presented below, made famous at Cuttle’s Meat Pies located in Waterdeep’s Trades Ward, is flavored with bacon and leeks and is extremely popular across the Heartlands, the Dales, and even the Savage Coast of Faerun, where hungry adventurers simply can’t get enough of them.” - Heroes’ Feast, p. 21

I think we can all agree that pie is one of the best foods ever (take that cake lovers). But, why should its awesomeness only extend to fruit, pudding, or whatever olden times had going on?

The Hand Pies in Heroes’ Feast are a great, filling meal to close to a long day. Packed with awesome carbs, proteins, and spices, they’re hard to resist! 

I was really interested to see if there was a way to turn the traditional, larger pies into snackable finger foods that could be brought to school or made for a party. After a little bit of testing, I found that they could! Since my main goal for this post was to create the snackable ones, I will be incorporating my process into the main body of my review instead of just keeping it to the notes after each step.

Although not the fastest meal to make, there are several ways to speed up the process and give yourself less work!

See below for my notes on the results and for some helpful tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Prep Time: 20 mins               Cook Time: 2h 40 mins                  Overall: 3 h

* See results section for how to cut down vegetable prep time

** Prep time will increase if you’re making your own pie crust

For the ingredients:

6 slices thick-cut bacon*

1 large (about 8 ounces) Yukon gold potato, peeled and cut into ½-inch pieces

2 leeks, white and light green parts, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced

1 tbsp. (3 g) finely chopped fresh thyme

Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper

4 cloves garlic, finely chopped

1 pound (500 g) ground beef**

2 tbsp. (16 g) all-purpose flour

⅔ cup (160 ml) low-sodium chicken broth

¼ cup (60 ml) chopped fresh parsley

Pastry for 2 double-crust pies (about 1 ½ pounds), thawed if frozen

1 egg

Ketchup, grainy mustard, or steak sauce to serve (optional)

* I couldn’t find any thick-cut bacon at my grocery store, so I used double the amount of regular cut bacon instead.

** I used medium ground beef.

Preparing the Filling:

I cooked the regular cut bacon in batches in order to avoid crowding the pan. Because I was using thinner bacon, I had to cook the bacon all the way until crispy instead of just slightly browned.

I didn’t have enough rendered fat after cooking for the 2 ½ tbps. required in the next steps. To make up for it, I supplemented the missing amount with a neutral-tasting oil (like vegetable, canola, safflower, and grapeseed).

For the vegetable mixture, I first cooked the potatoes in 1 ½ tbps. of the reserved fat over medium-high heat. This took about 7 minutes, stirring frequently (above-left image).

Next, I added 1 tbsp. reserved fat, leeks, thyme, and ½ tsp. salt to the potatoes and cooked them for about 4 minutes. Then, I added the garlic and stirred it in until fragrant - about 1 minute.

Finally, I transferred it to a bowl, wiped out the pan, and returned it to medium-high heat.

For the beef mixture, I cooked the ground beef until it started to lose its pink colour (4-5 mins). You want to make sure you’re breaking up any large clumps as it cooks.

Next, I turned down the heat to medium and added the flour, stirring constantly for 1-2 minutes. After, I added the broth and ¾ tsp. salt, scraping the skillet to dissolve anything that got stuck to the bottom. The above-right image is what the beef mixture looked like after cooking it for 2 minutes. It shouldn’t be super liquidy.

Above is what the hand pie mixture looked like when I combined the vegetable and meat mixtures. After combining, I allowed the mixture to cool for about 20 minutes (barely warm).

When the mixture cooled, I incorporated the crumbled bacon and parsley. Finally, I covered it with cling wrap and put it in the fridge.

NOTE: To adjust the seasoning at this point, I would recommend only using pepper. I found the mixture was plenty salty.

Constructing the Pies:

First, I preheated the oven to 375℉ and lined two baking sheets with parchment paper. You could also use nonstick silicone liners.

Since I was using a homemade pie crust, I divided my dough into quarters then rolled them out on a lightly floured work surface until I could see the surface through the dough. I lightly floured the top of the dough and my rolling pin to keep the dough from sticking to it. Follow the same method if using store-bought dough.

To prevent the dough from breaking while chilled: start by rolling it out a little in one direction, rotate 90°, roll it out a little, and repeat. This way, you’re not just stretching the dough in one direction.

As you work with the dough, try not to let it get too warm! The chilled butter is what gives the pie crust a flaky texture. If you feel the dough start to warm up too much as you work with it, cover it with a clean, damp kitchen or damp paper towel and place it in the fridge for a few minutes before continuing.

If you notice any tears appear while you roll out the dough, overlap a bit of the dough in that area and roll over it using the rolling pin. If the tear is too large to do this, patch it up with some dough scraps and roll over it to seal it.

To create envelopes for the filling, I used a stencil to create 10 by 8-inch ovals for the large ones and used a ~3 ¾-inch diameter circular cookie cutter.

From my dough, I was able to get two large pies and 15 smaller ones (not using all the dough scraps will net you about 12).

NOTE: A bench scraper and/or a thin metal spatula is your friend while working with the dough. To make the pies easier to fold and transfer, make sure to go around and lift up all of the dough from the work surface.

For the large pies, I placed one cup of filling on the bottom third of the dough and left ~1 ½ inches for the border (above-left).

For the small pies, there are a few changes I would make with how I constructed them (above-right). Although using only a ½ tbsp. of filling made them easier to handle, you should absolutely use between ¾-1 tbs. instead. You may not get as clean of a seam, but it will help the pies stay juicy and have a better dough-to-filling ratio.

Also, I would consider using a slightly larger cookie cutter (4-inch diameter) and shaping the dough to be more like an oval. I think this would help with the difficulties when using more filling.

Finally, be mindful of how much filling you’re making/using. The amount of filling called for in the recipe is great when making four large pies but significantly less is needed when constructing the smaller ones. Out of the 15 made, adjusting for the recommended increase in filling would mean just barely 1 ½ cups is needed!

To ensure minimal food waste when only making the mini-pies, either make 2.5 times the amount of dough or make ¾ the amount of filling.

Put the filling for the little ones on the bottom half of the circle/oval leaving room for sealing and crimping.

To seal the pies, I started by dipping my finger in water and going around the seam to moisten it. Next, using my bench scraper, I folded the dough over the meat filling. Finally, I used a fork to crimp the edges closed.

If you notice any breaks in the dough while you’re folding/crimping, don’t worry! Use any spare scraps of dough to cover the tears. If a tear appears when crimping the edges, cover it with scrap dough and crimp it down.

Each regular-sized hand pie took about 8 mins to assemble from rolling it out to sealing it. So, it will take you around half an hour to do all four (at least the first time).

The snack-sized pies took about 8 minutes for 4 of them. Therefore, it will take you just under half an hour to make 12 of them. When I put together all of my dough scraps for the little ones, I was able to make 3 extra snack pies - 15 in total.

Always use your bench scraper or flat metal spatula when working with or picking up the pies.

TIP: Because each pie takes time to construct and because we want the pie crust to stay cool, place each fully constructed pie in the fridge after sealing it. For the smaller ones, place each batch of 4 in the fridge as you finish them.

TIP: If you’re running out of space in your fridge for the baking sheets, use a cooling rack to place one tray on top of the other.

TIP: Wait until the pies have chilled in the fridge to score the X. It’s much easier to cut into the firm dough than the softer one.

Above is what the pies looked like before and after baking in the oven for about 40-45 mins. Be generous with the egg wash to give each pie a nice golden brown colour.

Above is what the pies looked like as they cooled - about 5 to 10 mins. Be mindful when transferring the large ones to the wire rack. They are very easy to break.

Overall, I would give this recipe a 4.5/5. Both the regular and the snack sized hand pies were delicious. Although, I would recommend eating the larger pies with a fork. They were a bit too flimsy to be eaten by hand. However, the filling to pie crust ratio was perfect.

As mentioned in the filling step, the only changes I would make to make the snack pies better would be to use a slightly larger cookie cutter and use more filling. Other than that, they were amazing. Everyone in my house agreed that they would make for great appetizers or finger foods for a party because “you can eat them and just feel like you’re snacking”. You can even turn the assembly into a fun activity (or pass off the work to guests who like to arrive early)!

I would highly recommend not making this a one-day event. As the longest hands-on recipe so far, I would split up the work as follows: 

Make the filling the day before

Make the pie crust and construct the pies the day of

Not only will this division of work make the recipe less daunting but it will allow the filling to chill completely - making it much easier to handle.

TIP: Although the prep time seems a little daunting, you can save time by completing certain parts of it while cooking. For example:

Cut up the potatoes and leeks while the bacon cooks

Chop up the thyme while the potato chunks cook