Things That Are Better Than Sex:

I bought one 😫

There's an Official masky plush!

They need to sell 200 in order to start producing them!

Go see, and get some! Or heck, share this!!!

No context just me and the homiesexuals

//i sadly can’t do any asks this week BUT i have some art lying around! you can have this one of the wide boy and the guy that tells him to tackle

I would die in a horror movie first because I would flirt with the killer.

Add me :) I send gifts everyday!

"You never felt the call of the divine, Astarion?"

"Oh, I tried them all. None of them answered."

Ch👍

Yes, @therealjacksepticeye !! You’re learning to use tumblr the way the gods intended!!

I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor