darcytiquea

Latest Posts by darcytiquea

TW for disassociation/derealisation, very very vague mention of sh !!

does anyone else get super angry and scared when they disassociate? i haven’t got DID but i still disassociate due to childhood trauma and it really fucking makes me so so so paranoid, and terrified. it’s not even mild fear, it’s like a stab through the chest and breaking out in a sweat sometimes. and then i get pissed when i can’t control it/have no control over when i’m gonna “come back” from it. most of the time i’m numb to it, it’s normal, but i can either be disassociated for days or months at a time to being fine until BAM it hits me again. and then the only way i can feel real is … yk …

i hope other people do experience this because i sometimes feel like i’m being too dramatic/faking it which … makes me feel worse .

i am going to talk to someone i PROMISE—

i want to be loved in the same amount that i love.

Where do i go if nowhere and no-one feels like home anymore

pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning

How was your day?

I want to be someone’s favourite PLEASE

Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please

mood for the night.. :/

my range of emotions go from “it’s scary how much i feel” to “it’s scary how much i don’t feel”

''what if my writing isn't good eno--'' what if it's a reflection of your soul. what if it has a place in this world. what if you write it anyway

Velimir Khlebnikov, from The Collected Works of Velimir Khlebnikov; “Lyrics,”

"Laughing, crying, tumbling, mumbling,

gotta do more, gotta be more.

Chaos screaming, chaos dreaming,

gotta do more, gotta be more."

- Poetrusic by Charlie "nuwanda" Dalton, dead poets society

"We are dreaming of tomorrow and tomorrow isn't coming, We are dreaming of a glory that we don't really want. We are dreaming of a new day when the new day's here already. We are running from the battle when it's one that must be fought.

And still we sleep.

We are listening for the calling but never really heeding, Hoping for the future when the future's only plans. Dreaming of the wisdom that we are dodging daily, Praying for a savior when salvation's in our hands.

And still we sleep.

And still we dream. And still we pray. And still we fear.

And still we sleep."

- Todd Anderson, Dead Poets Society

faults. oil painting, 8x10 inches. had this one done for a while, finally sharing it <3. prints up

gem samples

golem. gouache watercolor painting on paper, 2021

– Audrey Hepburn

if the sun would rise,

one more time,

on a sweet june morning, kissing my fingertips

as i slowly wake myself,

i wouldn't run away anymore.

if i wasn't thrust, face first,

like fresh meat, to the hands of the masses

chanting my name like it burns their tongues,

bathed in lights which highlight my smile

but hide the shake to my hands,

the weight in my back,

i’d know what to do.

maybe i’d give myself a new meaning,

carve my name into life’s ungrateful side

with bleeding hands that once held those

of the people who are no longer here, who

caught the rotten core of the blemished apple

that many praise as life.

if i had that chance, the one that burns my spine 

and forced my ribs into my heart,

i’d know who i am

but if i don't,

i’m okay with my final summer.

hair windswept, previously kissed by the salt of the sea air,

hands caught in others, windows down, screaming along

to some old song that painted another life

and the residue, sickly sweet, seeps into mine.

and as august closes, amends itself,

the final breath breaks against the blue sky.

if the sun would rise,

one more time,

on a sweet june morning, kissing empty sheets

as the world moves on,

i wouldn't run away, anymore.