Latest Posts by artisshadow - Page 3

what the fuck did hozier put into de selby (part 2) and can i have some

monster high 2 was a solid 6-7/10 but it would've been a 10/10 if they had toradeen kiss instead of clawdeuce

SO I FINALLY BEAT ABIGAIL

C.ai being down means I have to retreat to my origin of reading fanfics instead of making my own little plot 😭

IT WAS GETTING GOOD TOO I WAS HAVING A LOVELY CHAT WITH DORIAN GRAY!!

I love having my phone on dark mode until I click on something that is blindingly white and my brightness is high enough to make me feel pain for a second.

It’s just such a fun experience when I google stuff all the time and then am blinded by the website’s need to have a painfully bright display.

I WAS OFFLINE FOR LIKE 2 MINS WHAT????

The Words You Can't Say

When you have so much you want to say

But don’t have the breath or words to explain it

So instead you simply let it still inside of you

Until it becomes too much to bear

And suddenly everything is too late

And your lungs feel like they are closing up

But all you can do is sit there

In the silence you created

All because you are afraid to be true.

The Blame I Take

I take blame that isn’t meant for me.

It hurts to do,

But if I don’t take it then who will?

If no one admits to their wrong,

Then it is my job,

Because somehow,

In someway

I am always the catalyst.

Anytime I come along,

Something that had once been buried

Comes to the surface again.

Maybe I am simply bad luck.

Maybe things would be better if I wasn’t here.

Which is why I take the blame,

Even when I am tired,

Even when it hurts me,

Even when it leaves behind scars,

I will always take the blame,

Because if I don’t

I fear they might leave,

And to me,

That is worse than any kind of blame I give myself.

Phenomenal art for a phenomenal movie

Goncharov (1973)

"I would say it was time well spent if the last I ever saw was you."

-Goncharov to Andrey Daddano, from the movie Goncharov (1973).

Little fanart I did of this incredible movie, go watch it!!

so.

i propose a mishapocalypse 4.0.

on april fools 2023 we all change our pfps to misha again.

terrify away all the twitter refugees

here's the pic

I was in the middle of class and my mom texted me saying the Queen was dead. Why was my first thought to Check Tumblr??

Bro no why???? I liked the old oneeee, go back. I like the little man guy, but I don’t like the background, and my favorite color is red so. 🫠

all right so here's the schedule of when dracula daily will be updated, as gleaned from the archives

please share this, it was a pain in the ass

now that i think about it, jonathan harker would’ve been a great character in frankenstein. he’s so completely oblivious to dracula’s red flag parade that he’d probably completely avert the creature’s murderous rampage by accidentally befriending him after spending a page and a half writing about some weirdly tall homeless guy with daddy issues he ran into

I DID IT! I GOT THROUGH THE 188 CHAPTER FIC LONGER THAN THE SOURCE AND LESS HOMOPHOBIC! I CRIED!

Rewatching season 10 of SPN because I’m writing a fanfic for class based in it. Just got to where Dean is talking to death.

01010100 01100001 01110101 01100111 01101000 01110100

Fear

A thing covered

In the thing called society.

We have created this

This vile

This villain

This deep seated feeling

We have created it

And then we gave it power.

We give it power over our lives

Afraid of everything.

Afraid that if we aren’t a certain way

We will get killed.

Afraid of what others think

Because that is what we are taught.

We are afraid of getting left

Because we are taught

That being left can only equal

Being worthless.

That being left

Is because you weren’t good enough.

You weren’t good enough for them.

You weren’t able to keep up.

You were too different.

You were too unique.

You were too much You.

So they left.

And with them left your worth.

Society tells us,

That without worth,

We are without being.

Without being able to put a price

There is nothing

And then it was all pointless.

Because even the most priceless of things

Is still marked with a price tag.

The world taught us to be open

And to be afraid of the closed off.

That they had to have done something

Something bad

Something terrible

If they had nothing to say.

That if you weren’t open

Then you weren’t worthy of trust.

We say things we don’t want to,

Because silence has become a crime,

Because our safety and comfort

Is at the bottom of the barrel.

When we speak up

Nobody listens

They say we are crazy,

Because that is what history says.

Because that society taught it.

We are taught

That without a partner

Are we really human?

Without love

Without attraction

Without sexual activity

Wouldn’t we be robots?

Wouldn’t you have to be an alien?

And then when we express the attraction we have,

We are told that it is wrong,

And are instilled a fear

Of speaking about who we love

Just in case the person we talk to

Has a fear

And has a weapon

Even if that weapon

Is a word.

We are taught

That fear isn’t real

And that if we have one

We are weak.

When in reality

We are the strong ones

Because we live every single day

Having to know

That the fear is there

And the object could be around at any time.

For me, it is the dark

Because something could be there

And I am most vulnerable

When I cannot see.

For a friend, it is heights

Because you cannot catch yourself

When pushed off of a building.

For another, it is people

Because of what they might say

Or what they might do

And they have to have hope

That someone doesn’t snap

And decide that it was their time.

Fear is not a weakness

It is a strength

That we have been taught

As a necessity.

Thoughts

An unwelcome guest

That refuses to leave

The one that will walk in

As if they own the home

You call the mind.

They can be safe

They can cause joy.

For me

It’s the pain.

The pain of thinking

The pain of knowing

That if I listened

I wouldn’t be here.

Knowing that if I listened,

Everything would be different.

Thoughts are different,

But they carry the same message.

When I was younger,

They were a safe zone.

Now that I’m older

They are a death sentence.

Thoughts that yell

Despite how silent they truly are.

A silent knife

To a heart unshielded.

If I listened

Would they finally leave?

If I took the plunge

Would they finally become mute?

We shall never know

Because the thoughts keep me silent.

From the observations

That I never asked for.

The thoughts will announce things,

How skinny that girl

That girl in my biology class,

Who has a family perfected

Who has friends and is popular,

How that girl in my biology class

Should’ve been me

If I had only listened.

The thoughts will point out that kid

With a present father

And a picture perfect home

And say that could’ve been me

If only I had listened.

If I had listened

I would’ve been happy

I would be happy

If I listened to the thoughts

That were once a safe haven

That have turned into my own personal prison.

Shrouded in the lies people would say.

Once a gift

Now becoming a curse.

I feel like Peter would read fanfics about himself if anything.

Completely random but have you ever read any fanfiction about yourself or the other ghostbusters? Sorry if you’ve answered this before.

Oh, absolutely.

It’s a trip.

Please tell me one of the other ghostbusters showed you a fanfic.

Completely random but have you ever read any fanfiction about yourself or the other ghostbusters? Sorry if you’ve answered this before.

Oh, absolutely.

It’s a trip.

I’m frightened but also intrigued by what you’ve read. And also wasn’t prepared for you to answer.

Completely random but have you ever read any fanfiction about yourself or the other ghostbusters? Sorry if you’ve answered this before.

Oh, absolutely.

It’s a trip.

I wanna write wolfstar angst again, someone give me a prompt

Y’all I was watching labyrinth, again for the 800th time because ye, and came to the conclusion that Jareth would fuckin DESPISE me. Because the entire movie is just be climbing the fuckin walls of the labyrinth. Like if Jareth gonna cheat so shall I. Not to mention with the ballroom scene I’d hide in a corner, like im not tryin to find him in that sea of people, ima do what a good socially anxious person would do and hide away, he gotta find me now. Also the stairs would make me so sick, like I played a vr version of the movie that someone made on recroom and felt like I was gonna puke after a few minutes to where I had to sit down. I’d probably not even get into the ballroom scene tho just because I don’t like peaches, which is what Sarah had to eat, so here’s how that’d go down:

Hoggle: “Here eat this”

Me: “no thanks, I’ll just be hungry”

Hoggle: “but, you need to eat, it’s good.”

Me: “I don’t doubt it, I just hate peaches, too fuzzy it feels weird”

Hoggle: “well, at least Jareth cant yell at me for it.”

And the door scene im just indecisive so, both of the door scenes I’d sit there thinking, and then would climb the wall.

Pain

A pain

Only so many would feel.

A world

Shut away to those

Who wished it to open.

To them,

The life in those pages

Seemed so perfect,

So colorful,

So romantic,

So fantastic,

So real,

That when the end came

They would mourn.

They mourned the deaths

Of a person who didn’t know them,

But they would still cry

For they knew the person

They knew all you could

Except for how the character

Would live on.

For this was the final page

And they had died

As was the fate chosen.

So, the people turned

To their minds

Their heart heavy.

A pain

So real

Yet so distant

A pain towards a world

They could never experience

Hence why they mourn.

I wanna start posting the stuff I had to write for creative writing just because I’m proud of them and they deserve better recognition but I have no clue.

One Last Goodbye and a Million New Hellos

Wolfstar, pert two of Memories.

The light was strange, he felt strange, like he was floating, but falling as well. That’s when it hit him, he had died, Sirius Black, the best marauder, the boy who refused his upbringing, had been killed, by his own cousin.

He didn’t know how long it had been since he had been pulled back to his home, now closed off to everything outside of it. He had shifted, now a black dog, Padfoot making its last appearance. He sat and watched, the two people he hated leaving now stood away from him, unaware of how close he was. Their voices were mumbled, distant, showing how far away he actually was, and how alone he had truly become. There was one thing he did hear though, the one thing that the veil was unable to silence, something he had been waiting years to hear.

“I love him too, with every bit of my heart.” Remus finally admitted, causing Sirius to stand, now wishing so desperately that he could run to the werewolf, and hold him, like they did once, all those years ago, when Remus was Moony, when he was his Moony.

“I love you too Moony.” Sirius found himself replying, wishing with his entire heart that Remus knew this, that Remus didn’t think Sirius hated him.

October 15, 1976, Marauders’ dorm,

It was silent, Remus Lupin busy studying for exams, and Sirius Black, silently admiring the boy. How could Sirius not, the guy’s nose was scrunched up, a habit he had while working on a particularly difficult question, his hair had fallen in front of his face, and his legs were crossed, his posture was horrendous but oh well, Sirius found it cute.

“I can feel your eyes, creep.” The wizard said, looking up slightly, his hair now covering his eyes. Sirius only shrugged before moving, sitting beside Remus and uncovering his face.

“I can’t help that you just seem to demand all of my attention, 24/7, always.” The other jokes, Remus just shaking his head. Sirius looked at the book Remus had been looking over. “Oh ew, why are you studying history again, I thought you already finished these?”

“Just refreshing my mind, we have an exam and I have to know this stuff.”

“You should take a break.” Sirius said, playing with the stray hairs that laid on Remus’ neck, moving ever so close, riling the poor wolf up.

“Sirius, this is an important exam.” Remus stated, trying to focus his attention back onto the book, finding it difficult as Sirius had now begun peppering Remus’s jaw line with kisses, the boy’s pulse quickening ever so slightly at this.

“Fifteen minutes, that's all I ask of love, you need to let your mind rest.” The animagus replied, pulling the book out of his boyfriend’s hands, making sure to dog ear the page before throwing it to the side. Sirius knew that he had won, Remus’ eyes were now completely dilated.

“Ten.” Remus decided, pulling Sirius down with him.

June 14th, 1996, the afterlife,

“Hey look who it is, the Black brothers, once again reunited!” James exclaimed, as Regulus and Sirius walked together. Sirius smiled, finally being able to see his best mate once again, the one he was closest to, after Remus.

“Great to see you again Potter, you too Evans.” Sirius replied, Lily only offering up a gentle smile.

“Don’t worry Black, he won’t take that long, it’s impossible for the marauders to stay apart for long.” She said, hoping to comfort him. He only nodded, before walking off, his spirit drifting to the Mirror of Erised, not moving, as it showed those days, where he was truly happy.

April 8th, 1975, Room of Requirement,

“You became what?” Remus exclaimed, anger and shock clear as the night sky. Sirius flinched lightly, hoping Remus wouldn’t have seen this as a bad thing.

“Look, Rem, I did this for you. I don’t like you having to sit through these moons all on your own, it hurts, and you won’t hurt other animals, only humans, so I am perfectly safe.” He explained, the brown haired boy listening to none of it.

“That doesn’t matter, you did it illegally, if you get caught you could end up going to Azkaban, you could get expelled, I could lose you.” Lupin said, his worries getting voiced. Sirius just sighed.

“You won’t lose me, I swear.” He promised, getting up and hugging his boyfriend, “if anyone even tries to take me away then I’ll just fight back, I am not leaving, not by my own free will at least.”

January 14th, 1974, Marauders’ dorm,

Sirius could feel the want to sleep leave his body, his bed felt too empty, and cold. He didn’t like it. By the sounds of it, his friends were all asleep already, and yet here he was, trying to force himself to sleep. He had tried everything, even a sleep spell, yet to no avail, he was wide awake. There was only one thing he could think of.

Quietly, trying to not make much noise and cause the others to wake up, he crept out of his bed, the floor freezing. Sirius felt a cold chill shoot through his spine, before getting used to it, and making his way towards the target, Remus Lupin, and his bed. His boyfriend was exceptionally warm, most likely from him being somewhat a wolf, but even then, Sirius just liked being in his presence.

Pulling back the cover, Black slipped into the bed, and wrapped his arms around the sleeping boy’s body, getting as close as he could, the warmth from the other already deadly comfortable.

“Sirius, what’re you doing?” Remus whispered, Sirius felt his blood run cold, afraid that Remus would get upset.

“I couldn’t sleep, my bed was really cold.”

“So your first thought was to come to me?”

“You are really warm okay.” Sirius defended, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks, embarrassment filling him. Remus said nothing, but turned around in Sirius’ embrace, looking at the long haired gryffindor.

“Okay.” He replied, kissing Sirius on the forehead before closing his eyes once again, “now go to sleep please. I love you.”

At that Sirius felt the muscles in his face turn, a smile forming, before a yawn interrupted him. “I love you too, Moony.”

May 2nd, 1998, afterlife,

Sirius was confused, people said that there were multiple new arrivals, one being someone they had all been waiting on. It hadn’t been long since Wormtail died, meaning the last person to arrive was Remus, who Sirius wanted to live, experience the life he was never allowed. Sirius wanted Remus to fall in love, to have a family, to move on, he couldn’t be here, he just couldn’t. Sirius refused, refused to go see and greet the newcomers with James, refused to answer the calls, just refused, afraid of who he might see, someone who didn’t deserve the card that life had dealt him.

“Sirius, please, it’s been a full day, you can’t keep ignoring us.” James said, his voice muffled only slightly through the door.

“No James, I won’t listen to what anyone says, I don’t want to see anyone.”

“Why must you be so stubborn?”

“You know why.”

“You know, despite all the losses, we did it, Harry did it, we won.” James informed, Sirius not responding. He had known, it was all the spirits talked about, how Harry Potter had succeeded, and Voldemort had been brought down, the wizarding world was safe. He remembered those nights, where he would talk to Remus, so proud of his godson and how far he had come, how much farther he would go.

August 9th, 1995, 12 Grimmauld Place,

Sirius sat in his room, looking around, memories he had wished to forget in his mind, playing, over and over again, never leaving. It hurt, the memories of when his mother would kick him out, when his brother had turned away, everything bad that ever happened to Sirius had occurred in this home, except losing his best friend, no, he wasn’t even there for that.

“You know,” a voice came from behind him, Sirius coming to meet Remus’ brown eyes, the ones he would get lost in, “I never did get to see your home, James was the only one.” He finished, coming to sit beside Sirius, not much room between them.

“I never wanted him to, he just came over on his own accord. That and I didn’t want my mother to ever meet you, she isn’t worth your time and you don’t deserve the insults she would give.” Sirius explained, leaning against Remus, missing the warmth he would get. Without missing a beat, Remus wrapped his arm around Sirius, the two were close, it looked like a romance movie, where one was comforting their lover, after a tiring day or so.

“Do you ever regret what happened between us? The arguments, hell, even the relationship?” Remus asked quietly, almost like he was afraid of the question, and in association, the possible answer.

“Only slightly, the arguments most definitely, but the relationship itself, the only thing I grew to regret about that was how it ended, the fact that it ended.” Black answered, Remus relaxing his body some. “What about you?”

“Never, I will never regret having been with you ever, only the way I had acted towards you.” He replied quickly, sounding almost offended that Sirius had questioned him.

“You were a kid Remus, we both were, we weren’t ready for anything serious, and it hurt the relationship.”

“I suppose, what about now?”

“What about now?”

“Well, we are both grown, having lived our lives, gone through things, apart from each other for so long,” Sirius can’t remember when he zoned out, only staring at Remus going over his features s the wolf talked about life, how they both should be grown, “and even if the world looked at us strange we could handle it right?” Remus had noticed now, seeing as Sirius hadn’t been reacting. “Hello? Sirius, were you listening?”

“You know, it's really hard to sit here, be this close to you, and not kiss you.” He blurted out, causing Remus’ face to grow a shade of pink, not really knowing how to respond other than to look at Sirius, slowly noticing the small space between them, a subconscious thing truly. So used to being close to the other, not thinking, but at the same time, he wouldn’t oppose the guy.

“What’s stopping you?” And that caught the great Sirius Black off guard, not prepared for the confidence in Remus’ voice.

“The fact that if I kissed you, I don’t think I’d be able to stop.” He replied, his face slowly inching closer to Remus’, the space becoming smaller, barely there at this point, the other’s breath becoming ragged.

“In all honesty, I don’t think I would want you to.”

That was all Sirius needed before connecting their lips, the feeling both oh so familiar, and completely new and different, maybe it was because of the scar that had faded on his lips, maybe it was the facial hair, or maybe, it was because Sirius simply couldn’t believe that it was real. They fit like puzzle pieces, neither trying to break apart, rather they were trying to get closer, until the need for air became too important and great, and they were forced to stop.

“So” Remus said, breathless, “Your mother would be furious right now.” He joked, Sirius only wrapping his arms around the other’s neck.

“Good.” Sirius replied, before Remus connected them again, before grabbing his wand and closing the door, pulling Sirius with him to the head of the bed, neither parting the entire time.

May 4th, 1998, the afterlife,

Sirius still hadn’t left, hadn’t allowed anyone inside, he did nothing. It was becoming worrying, but no one could do anything.

“Pads, there is someone here to see you.” James said, doing his daily visit, trying to coax Sirius out of the house, to join the others again.

“Not now James.”

“Oh come on Sirius, you got upset with me for phishing everyone away, and now you are doing it.” A new voice rang through, shocking Sirius to his core, Remus Lupin. Without Sirius answering, his ears now ringing, James had said something about leaving, wishing his other marauder good luck, as Remus had opened the door, Sirius looking at him.

“Hey, long time no see huh?”

“You can’t be here, you shouldn’t be here.” At that, Remus came over to him, looking at his eyes, noting how light they were, more than when he was alive.

“But I am,” He replied, cupping Sirius’ face, wiping the tears that strayed from his eyes, this looked like a reverse image of that night.

June 25th, 1978, the shrieking shack,

“Remus, will you just listen to me! For once in your life just stop and listen.” Sirius exclaimed, Remus sitting down on the very worn down bed of the shrieking shack, a place where they both started coming to more.

Remus shook his head, causing Sirius to sigh, wondering what was going through the boy’s mind.

“No Sirius, you listen, you always have the final say and I am tired of it. You have to be in control all of the time, and I can’t deal with it!” Remus shot back, causing Sirius to look at him not prepared.

“You don’t mean that, that is not true, when have I ever been in control? Everything I have done I’ve done because I was told to, even with you, you tell me that nothing matters when I ask what is wrong. I can’t keep doing this Remus, it hurts me too much to just watch you destroy yourself. I love you, I really truly love you, but I can’t keep pretending as if I can’t hear your cries at night.” Sirius defended himself, moving to Remus, gently bringing his hands up to cup the other’s face, Remus looking anywhere except Sirius, his eyes darting around. “Moony, hey, Remus please look at me.”

“I can’t” He replied, Sirius barely being able to hear him, his voice was quiet, almost like he was afraid to get any louder. The tears had come, Sirius being quick to wipe them away.

“One day, when we are both finally ready, we will find each other, and live the fairytale ending that we deserve, that you deserve. I love you Moony.” Sirius swore, kissing Remus on the head, right where a new scar had begun to form, before leaving for one last time, his heart heavy.

May 4th, 1998, the afterlife,

“I’m real, Sirius, I’m here.” Remus said gently, causing Sirius to zone back in. “You know, you’re as beautiful as the day I lost you, the day you disappeared in that veil.” he said, Sirius only leaning forward, connecting their foreheads, noses bumping together slightly.

“Remember how you asked me if I regretted anything, about us, that night in the shrieking shack, I regret that.” Sirius whispered.

“Why?” He whispered back, Sirius smiling, thankful he wasn’t breaking the silence.

“Because letting you go was the hardest thing I ever had to do.” Sirius whispered, Remus only shaking his head.

“Well, at least you never have to do that again, I’m sorry for taking so long.” He apologized, Sirius smiling. He had expected the werewolf to somehow find a way to apologize, it was in his nature, a thing Sirius had hated, not wanting Remus to ever apologize for living.

“You were worth the wait.”

“I love you Sirius Orion Black.”

“I love you too Remus John Lupin.”

“Your door was unlocked the entire time, and I just stood out in the cold for nothing!” James was heard exclaiming from the door, ruining the moment.

“Really Prongs! I can’t be gay for one second?” Sirius yelled back, James holding his hand up in defense.

“Sorry, my bad, you go, be gay, I’ll find Lily.” James said, turning towards the door and closing it behind him.

“James, you owe me five galleons since Remus said ‘I love you’ first.” Lily said, causing James to groan in annoyance.

“It will never be quiet huh?” Remus asked, SIrius only nodding.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way, love.” He said, kissing the boy. Sirius knew, the one regret he had, was never saying a proper goodbye to Remus, but, he would never have to ever again, only having to say a million hellos.

Memories / Wolfstar

The pain from losing his best friend hurt, Remus barely coped, when he started remembering, it wasn’t a happy memory though, it was the mistake he made before.

(Also posted on my AO3 account, message if you want the link to it since I will probs post more there.)

It was late, and it was cold, yet he didn’t seem any closer to going inside, afraid of what he might have to face. Remus had barely a single conversation with Sirius before he was gone once more, unfairly taken again, only this time, he wouldn’t have the ability to come back.

“Remus, deary, you need to come inside, he won’t be happy if you join him now.” Molly said gently, coming outside with him. That's right, Sirius’ home had closed to him, he was at the burrow, the new meeting place of the order, the group of people who got Sirius Black killed, no it wasn’t their fault, it was Voldemort’s, and his fault alone, as well as Bellatrix.

“No thanks Molly, I need to head back to my home, I will see you tomorrow.” Remus replied, his voice shaking slightly, the pain more obvious.

With that he apparated away, but not to his home, but the shrieking shack, a place that held his worst memories, and yet he was drawn to it. Memories of his last day flooded his mind, a particular moment he had wished to forget.

June 25th ,1978, the shrieking shack,

“Remus, will you just listen to me! For once in your life just stop and listen to me.” Sirius Black was heard exclaiming, the boy in front of him just sitting on the beaten down bed. Remus just shook his head, not wanting to hear the words that needed to be said, not wanting to admit that it was finally over. The best thing in his life, now over, in a few years it will be nothing but a painful memory.

“No Sirius, you listen, you always have the final say and I am tired of it. You have to be in control all of the time, and I can’t deal with it.” He shot back, the other just stood there, shock being the only readable emotion on his face.

“I can’t keep doing this Remus, it hurts me too much to just watch you destroy yourself, I love you, I really really love you, but I can’t keep acting as if I can’t hear your cries at night.” Sirius decided, going up to the boy, whose head was now hung low. Gently, as if not to startle him, Sirius brought his hands up, cupping Remus’ face, the other’s eyes looking anywhere except his fellow marauder. “Remus, please look at me.”

“I can’t.” He replied, his voice barely there, the tears he had been holding back finally getting loose, only for Sirius to wipe them away.

“One day, when we are both finally ready, we will find each other, and live the fairytale ending you deserve. I love you.” Sirius whispered back, planting a kiss against the boy’s head, before leaving the werewolf alone.

June 13th, 1996, the shrieking shack,

“I was ready, and you were too, yet still, you left.” Remus found himself whispering, not towards anything in particular, seeing as the one who he desperately wanted to hear him, never would ever again. Remus couldn’t handle it, and felt himself falling, crumpling on the ground.

June 27th, 1978,

It hurt, more than Remus would ever let on. Over and over, he just thought about what Sirius had said to him, knowing in his heart that it was built on nothing but the truth. He still shared a room with the guy, hell, sometimes he found himself wishing that Sirius would slip into his bed late at night again, when he thought Remus was asleep, only for the boy to turn over and pull Sirius into his embrace, needing the contact just as much.

“Remus, you're in your mind again, what did you want to talk about?” the aforementioned boy asked, causing Remus to shake his head lightly.

“Yeah, right, sorry. Look, I can't keep acting like everything is okay. And I know it’s messed up that I just pushed you away, but I can’t see it ending well if you actually become a part of whatever life I will have after Hogwarts.” He explained.

“Why do you do this Remus? I ask to be part of your life and all you can do is push me away. What is so impossible about us being together that you have to end it before anything gets started?”

“Don’t you see, I’m a werewolf Sirius, the hate you would get and the unfairness of it all, I can’t force the person I love to go through that.”

“So sad, a few unimportant people get butt hurt. Why can’t we have a family huh? Because you’re a werewolf and I’m gay?”

“That's just it Sirius! Why do you think I’m trying to get rid of you? When I look at you all I see is everything I can’t have. It hurts too much.”

“What? Explain what you can’t have with me right now.”

“This, happiness, a family.” Remus exclaimed, his voice now raised slightly. Sirius only shook his head before leaving for one of the last times. “You, Sirius, I can’t have you.”

June 14th, 1996, in front of 12 Grimmauld Place,

Remus didn’t know why he came here, why his mind told him to. That was before a noise came from behind him, that noise belonging to Harry, James and Lily’s son, the two just stood in silence, as the final remnants of what the marauders once were.

“My mum wanted you and Sirius to raise me, so did dad.” The green-eyed boy said, causing Remus to look at him.

“Sirius would’ve been the most chaotic father alive to you.” Remus jokes, Harry nodding in agreement.

“He loved you, he told me, how no matter how long, one day you would be together again, in the way that it was meant to be.”

Remus could practically hear how his heart plummeted, unaware that Sirius ever told anyone about the life he and Remus shared for such a short amount of time.

“I love him too, with every bit of my heart.” He admitted, meeting Harry’s eyes, only to be greeted with the same eyes that Lily had, the first person he ever told, the one person he would confide in about his forbidden feelings towards Sirius. It broke him, but not in a way that would cause you to lock everything out, no, this was a different kind of break, one that was freeing in a sense, and Remus found himself smiling for the first time since Sirius Black had gone through that veil.

Unbeknownst to the pair, a black dog was watching them from afar, hearing everything that they said. “I love you too Moony.” He said, before turning, seeing the man that died long ago. “Regulus.”

“Come on Sirius, Potter says you kept him waiting long enough, Evans can barely deal with it anymore.” His brother said, Sirius nodded, standing, and bid farewell to the marauder one last time.

“Take care of him Moony, it's up to you now.”