❦ TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF PT. 2

is your girlfriend single?

characters: atsumu, suna, bokuto

warnings: mentions of sex in suna's, timeskip!

note/s: i do not feel like writing a new piece rn so here's a lil repost from my old account

(ushijima, iwaizumi, sakusa)

atsumu: 

the setter was doing a livestream, he was bored and you were doing a grocery run, so he decided to tweet the hashtag #AskTsumu five minutes before going on live. 

once he started filming, he first greeted his viewers and thanked them for their support towards the previous games against the adlers. 

“right. let’s get started on the questions.” he says, placing the phone down and clasping his hands together. 

“‘is it true that you have a twin?’ no, i don’t. next question.” atsumu smirked as he scrolled past the comments only to see his twin’s angry spamming on how he should’ve eaten the blonde in the womb. 

“just kidding, yes. unfortunately, i have a twin brother, he’s currently opening up a restaurant in tokyo so go visit if you can.” atsumu endorsed. “‘wow, thanks. you’re actually useful for once.’ i take it back! don’t visit his restaurant, his food is shit. worst food ever, -10/10.” he joked, knowing that his fans and viewers would realize that it was sarcastic. 

“alright, time to check twitter for your questions.” he said as he took his laptop and pressed on the hashtag. 

“wow, okay. there’s a lot, i’ll try to answer as much as possible.” atsumu began answering the questions, it was mostly about his training routine, his hobbies and his relationship with his team. 

“how long have you and your girlfriend been together?” he smirked at the question before tilting his head to the side and shortly reminisced about your relationship. 

“we’ve been dating for.. four years now and i couldn’t be any luckier.” as if on cue, the door to your apartment opened and you trudged in with groceries. “wait a minute.” he said to the camera before running to where you were and helping you carry the groceries then dragging you to the camera’s view. 

“‘tsumu, i look terrible!” you say, trying to get away from the view but atsumu held your waist as he perched you to his lap. “nah, you don’t. ‘yer the prettiest.” he said before leaning forward, chin on top of your shoulder as he read more questions. 

“‘is that (y/n)?! she’s so pretty!’ ‘course she is. glad you seem to think so as well.” atsumu smirked. 

his live suddenly became a couple q&a. not that either of you were complaining. 

“atsumu, is your girlfriend single?” he reads before he could comprehend the message. he only realizes once you stifled your laugh. 

atsumu huffed before his big hand cupped your cheek to face him and he placed his lips onto yours for a few seconds. just enough to get the point through. 

“no, next question.” he winked, you slid off his lap as he laughed at the comment section which was now in an uproar. you knew you had to apologize to the team’s publicist as soon as possible.

suna:

suna was lounging on the couch as atsumu and komori interacted with their fans in their livestream. 

he was in the background, scrolling away on his phone as the setter and the libero chatted animatedly in front of the screen. 

“oi, suna! you should go and join us.” atsumu called out, looking behind him, the middle blocker gave a passive wave of the hand, eyes still on the phone. 

“‘ya guys see how mean he is? he doesn’t care about anyone unless they’re (y/n).” atsumu says before his eyes widen. “i should not have said that, huh?” the glare suna sent atsumu’s way made the setter cower in his seat. 

“always knew your loud mouth will get me into trouble.” suna sighed and left it at that.

“show us a pic...” motoya read out loud, suna’s head snapped up and before he could stop the two, atsumu has already pulled out his phone and began going through photos of you and the team. 

“this is suna’s girlfriend, sorry ladies and gents, mr. suna rintarou is off the market.” motoya laughed as he pointed to the picture on the phone screen. “anyway, this is (y/n). she’s really pretty and she has the entire volleyball team to go after you if you dare send her hate.” 

suna smirked and continued to scroll down his phone. 

“is suna’s girlfriend single?” motoya read outloud, atsumu stood up with the phone and placed it in front of suna’s face, effectively placing him in a hotseat. 

“so, sunarin.” atsumu starts. “is your girlfriend single?”

suna looked at atsumu with an unimpressed expression before facing the camera, looking straight at it.

“no, we had sex last night.” atsumu almost let go of the phone at how nonchalantly suna answered. 

“can you get the camera out of my face now?” suna asked, both of his teammates nodded. atsumu grumbled about how he was making the live as pg as possible but the middle blocker had to ruin it. 

once atsumu sat down, he made sure that the camera does not catch sight of the smug middle blocker before he states to the camera.

“we’re not entertaining any more questions about suna and (y/n).”

bokuto:

most of the fans knew that bokuto was a volleyball idiot. his actions and reflexes are quick yet when it comes to anything that wasn’t related to volleyball, he’d rather pass on the question. 

“ah, yeah. i’ve tried the hybrid on our spikers yet no one managed to receive it! bokkun was pouty the whole practice we had to call (y/n) to get him out of his slump.” atsumu recalled, earning a roll of eyes from sakusa and a lot of praise from hinata. 

“i was caught off guard!” bokuto tried to defend himself, earning a passive wave of the hand with a matching smirk from the setter. “sure, sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, bokkun.” 

the live audience cooed at the team’s banter, finding it both endearing and entertaining. 

“i see. any more questions from the audience?” the host asked, the mic that was vacant was occupied by a fan who then asked what their drive for volleyball was.

it was the segment for general questions. then it would be time for personal questions per team member. 

the owl-spiker was excited but a bit nervous, he didn’t know what to expect but the smile on his face didn’t show any bit of unease. 

after a few minutes, the host turned to bokuto and gestured for him to sit in front, replacing hinata who had just finished answering his fans’ questions. 

“ah, bokuto-san! are you ready to answer?” the host asked for formalities, everyone knew that bokuto didn’t really have a choice. bokuto nods twice, a beaming smile on his face as he faced the audience. 

“alright! first question.” the host gestured for the first fan to occupy the microphone. 

“are your emo modes unintentional...” the questions went on, the spiker answered the next questions with ease, the past feeling of anxiousness dissipating as he noticed the line getting shorter. 

“hi, big fan! so my question for you is… is your girlfriend single?” the fan asked, causing a few gasps from the crowd. bokuto couldn’t see it, but the team was silently giggling at the question, anticipating whether bokuto would comprehend the question before he would answer. 

“what?” bokuto asked, wanting to hear the question again. he awkwardly laughed before he spoke once more. “of course she’s not! she’s my baby.” 

bokuto pouts before speaking again. “she’s my other half, my soulmate, my baby, my honeybear, my-” “alright, bokkun. we get it!” atsumu said, exasperated. 

“(y/n) is the love of my life and my girlfriend and it will stay that way until we see each other at the altar.” bokuto finalized, unknowingly smiling at the thought. 

the host cleared their throat, taking the stage away and wrapping the interview up. 

you were waiting backstage, watching with a warm face as bokuto talked about you. the backstage staff who was with you gave you knowing glances as the interview ended and bokuto was walking straight towards you. 

your boyfriend wrapped his arms tightly around you in greeting. “you know, that question could’ve been answered with a yes or no, kou.” you say as you pull away from the hug. 

“i needed to let them know that you’re mine!” bokuto stated childishly before pecking your forehead. 

yeah, you were his and didn’t plan on being anyone else’s. 

Simon and the undescribable urge to just suddenly fucking rub his face on you. It doesn't matter where. In public or at home he's going to suddenly force himself a little lower and scratch his face on your neck or shoulder etc.

Ticklish? He doesn't care, he'll just move down to your arm. Don't you know his mask makes his skin itchy?

waking up with a tiny flower that eddie had found and carefully tucked behind your ear while you were napping.

You hold mr crawling’s face in your hands, caressing his cheeks as you watched him chirp and purr as he melted into your touch as he puts his hand atop of yours, keeping you where he needed you most.

‘I will kill for you I hope you know that.’ You said all of a sudden and mr crawling stopped to look at you with an adorable frown on his lips.

‘Kill for me?’ Crawling asked in his unique way.

‘Yes. You keep safe.’ You replied in an attempt to communicate in the only way he could understand. ‘Must have you safe.’ You add and mr crawling smiled widely as he patted your hands in excitement while letting out a laugh.

‘You keep safe.’ Mr crawling then said as he moved to cuddle himself up to your chest, listening to your heartbeat. ‘Keep this safe.’ He adds as he nuzzles his head against your chest and you couldn’t help but bundle him in your arms and kiss his head multiple times, breathing in your own shampoo and conditioner lingering in his hair.

‘We keep safe.’ You muttered to him as you run your hand up and down his back, feeling him tighten his grip on your waist as he made himself comfortable atop of you for a man of his tall stature. ‘Keep safe.’ Mr crawling murmurs softly against you as a calm befell you both as you enjoyed each others company, safe under some layers of soft blankets and soft kisses planted on the others skin in praise and appreciation for one another; Such simple pleasures are the ones you treasure the most.

truly nothing more eddie munson loves than just feeling the weight of you on him.

loves it at night, especially, before bed when you’ll hike your leg up, sling it over his waist. lying on your stomach, one leg kicked out in front of you, the other across him so he can rub your hip.

“helps me fall asleep.” you told him once, lashes fluttering closed.

his hand would rub up and down, over the swell of your hip, down your lower back and over your thigh. sometimes he’d get lazy- caught up in his tv show or starting to nod off himself. you’d wiggle, a sharp pop of your hip up, always followed by a whiny huff that had him grinning lazily.

“sorry, baby.” eddie muttered, pulling your leg closer over his torso, rubbing your hip again.

when you’d finally go to sleep, body slack and heavy over his, he’d feel you settle, start to pull away only for him to pull you closer. arm over his chest, snoring lightly in his ear. sometimes you’d roll, half your body slotted over his, and he’d have to fight the urge not to wrap his arms around you and pull you more into him. he knew you’d wake up, whine and wiggle away, batting his hands away sleepily and muttering you were “too hot” to cuddle. so he’d let his hand rest on you instead, feeling safe and content with the weight of you over him.

eddie doesnt let anyone touch his hair. ever.

it reminds him of his late mother, who had the same gorgeous untamed curls. She used to comb his hair when he was little, being ever so gentle and taking her time brushing out the knots.

his father made him feel less-than for just about everything about him, including his gorgeous mane. Called him awful names and always told him to ‘cut that fairy shit’ when it grew too long.

so, ever since she passed, and his father went to jail, hes been growing it.

unfortunately, she never taught him how to take care of it, she’d always just do it herself. So, he doesnt put product in it, he doesnt cut it, he doesnt even brush it. And, stubborn as his mama, he doesnt let anyone else touch it either.

then you come along, happy and sweet, always loving to everyone. he falls in love with you so fast he hardly even notices. you certainly dont either.

one hot summer day you’re both in his room, you on his bed, him pacing, frantically explaining some sort of nerdy campaign idea. you dont know, you havent been listening for a while, too distracted by the way he keeps wiping sweat from the back of his neck. you cut him off rudely, he doesnt mind

“hey eddie?”

“sweetheart?”

“whens the last time you got a haircut?”

he freezes, silent, which is very out of character, dude never shuts up.

“uhh. like a few years ago. why?”

its your turn to be quiet, suddenly all coy. he finds you absolutely adorable as you stare at his floor, trying to find a way to ask him without startling him. as if he were some wild animal, which, he basically is.

“just.. immm noticinggg its kinda matted in the back…”

you try to sound the least accusing as you can. he doesnt seem offended but you can tell hes thinking.

“well, yeah, i. i guess i just havent touched it since. well my mom used to do it for me”

you feel like an ass, touching on something you shouldnt have, making him all quiet and sad. you backtrack.

“jesus, eddie, im sorry i didnt mean to-“

“its okay angel, i know”

he sits next to you. you give him a nervous smile, still sweet, hesitantly reaching for his curls. you can tell he’s hesitant too, but he nods, granting you permission. you take a single strand between your fingers, twirling it.

“Its so pretty, eds. ..would you let me? take care of it, i mean?”

hes scared. but youre so sweet and youre asking so nicely. a part of him is scared if he lets you, he loses another part of his mom. but the other part is staring into your eyes and seeing nothing but genuine affection.

“i.. i guess you could.. try.”

his heart pounds in his chest. You absolutely beam, thanking him immediately and bouncing around the room, looking for a brush. he laughs, shaking his head. you watch as he rummages through his closet, before handing you a light pink brush. you think about teasing him for it but he already looks vulnerable. you smile sweetly instead, taking it from him.

“sit” you point with the brush. he does as you say, running his hands up and down his thighs in a self soothing motion.

“its okay eds, you dont have to be nervous.. ill be gentle i promise” he gives you an unconvincing smile. you return with a guilty one, downturned. you kneel in front of him, in between his knees, brushing his bangs with your fingers.

“we can stop whenever you want, okay?” his cheeks are bright red as he nods timidly

you move to sit behind him, and run your hands through his curls gently, admiring it. you take a part, hold it at the root, and brush gently.

“that feel okay? tell me if it hurts” ever so sweet.

“mm-hm” you can feel his nervousness. “you- you remind me of her, y’know”

youre pretty taken aback, but honoured nonetheless. you keep brushing through the mattes in his hair as you talk.

“Yeah? Wanna tell be about her?” youre not sure if its the right thing to say, but you figure he probably hasnt told anyone about her. you can practically feel his energy shift.

“she was sweet. loving and kind to everyone, like you.” you both smile. “and she was pretty. beautiful. i really miss her.” you stop, rub his back a little.

“i can only imagine.. im sorry eddie.” he turns to face you, smiling.

“s’alright sweetheart. thanks for letting me talk about her” he hugs you. you hug him back, tight.

“hows the ole hair going?” He asks when he pulls back, a joking tone to lighten the mood.

“good!!! ive gotten the mattes outta this chunk here, it looks good. your hair is really beautiful, eds” youre ecstatic and it travels to him.

“thank you. my mom had the same hair.” he smiles, turning back around to let you continue.

“i bet she was really gorgeous.” youre extra-extra gentle. He keeps talking and you keep working. He tells you about how she smelled, the softness of her voice, his favourite memories with her. he tells you about the last time he saw her. he tells you all the things hes been holding inside, everything he never got to tell anyone, never trusted anyone enough. and when hes done, his hair is untangled and soft.

you smile proudly, running your hands through his hair, marveling at your work.

“its done” he whips around, looking at you with wide excited eyes

“really??” you nod, smiling wide. he runs over to the bathroom to see for himself. You stand behind him, peeking over his shoulder in the mirror. Hes surprised, looks like he might even cry. you wrap your arms around him, leaning your head against his arm.

“do you like it? Its a little poofy, but you can wash it out and it’ll look be-“ he cuts you off by turning around and hugging you. he hugs you tight, lifting you up.

“thank you.” you can tell he really means it.

Spencer Reid who always loses chess to you. At first the team really does think he's letting you win, until they notice him getting a little frustrated because he can never win. You're not even particularly good at chess, Spencer just somehow always loses. It makes no sense to him or the rest of the team. He does find it rather endearing though, the fact that you're the only person who can actually keep up with him in any aspect.

friends-to-lovers with eddie

cw: reader has body image issues

"scoot over."

"sorry, i'm too cozy," you grin smugly at eddie, wrapped up in fluffy blankets with your head perched against both of his only two pillows.

"it's my bed!"

"yeah, and it's real comfy, thanks. did you get the snacks?" you bat your lashes up at him.

"you are impossible," he rolls his eyes, feigning annoyance, even though he eats it right up.

"but yes, you know i got 'em." he says, setting down the bowl of buttery popcorn on his nightstand before pulling the scrunchie from your wrist that hangs off the bed.

he wears a cropped black sabbath tee with sweats- the ones he always catches you staring at him in, so of course he smirks when your doe-eyed gaze inevitably lands on his happy trail...and follows up his strong inked biceps...to his pretty ringed hands that tie his hair back..

"want me to grab your phone? a picture'll last longer." he winks, pulling back the covers and bulldozing his way in next to you.

"very funny," you scoff, hiding your heated cheeks against soft worn cotton.

he gets you both settled and cozy, spooning you while you prop up your laptop making sure it's in a good spot for the both of you to see.

"still don't get why we can't just watch this on the tv. this screen is tiny in comparison!"

"oh hush, just trust me. it's a cozy experience, okay? all we need now is for it to start raining outside. then it'll be complete." you smile back at him.

"whatever you say, sweetheart."

and he would make it rain for you if he could.

you press play and shuffle your hands back under the covers, giddy in your contentment.

curious music begins playing as your selection of coraline starts up into the opening credits.

eddie smiles, happy in your joy, he reaches for the popcorn bowl and offers to feed you some "open up, get it while it's still hot." he pops a small handful into your mouth.

"thanks, eds. it's good."

"yeah?" he asks, not waiting for confirmation as he starts munching on it himself.

"let me know when you get thirsty." fuck, she has me whipped, he thinks to himself.

"okay," your voice mellows as your head falls heavier against the shared pillows. "are you comfy?" you ask him.

"yeah, sweetheart, i am." his voice is low.

"'kay," you let out a long sigh, molding closer to his body.

his hand rests carefully against your hip while he rests his chin atop your head, peering at the screen.

domestic bliss even though you're 'just best friends.' yeah, right.

"you like it so far?" you ask him thirty minutes in.

"yeah- it's quirky and creepy, i dig it."

"good. i thought you might."

he looks down and smiles, although you can't see it.

his hand that rested on your hip cautiously moves to your stomach, and before he does what he hopes you'll let him, he asks you "this okay, sweet girl?"

"mm-hmm." you respond, even though you don't know what he plans on doing.

tingles light throughout your body as he lets out a deep breath against your neck. that pretty ringed hand your were gawking at earlier gently presses and then grabs at your soft tummy.

you gasp but let yourself feel the emotions it causes. he's not judging, not criticizing- just feeling another part of you. a part you'd been so against anyone else ever seeing out of fear.

it also feels good to let someone hold you there. an area you'd been self conscious about for ages, only for eddie to swoop in and love on. it felt even more delicious knowing how much he enjoyed it as well.

"you're so pretty, you know that?" he whispers against your ear, sending another burst of tingles to sweep through you.

"i love your pretty body. your tummy-" he reaffirms, rubbing back and forth across the skin before pulling you closer into him, "your pretty face, pretty thighs, pretty arms..pretty much everything i could want."

you don't respond verbally, except for a small groan as you attempt to hide your face in the pillows.

"don't you go hidin' on me," he teases, "you're perfect. most perfect girl f' me, and i wouldn't change a fuckin' thing, baby."

he taps a finger under your chin, signaling for you to look at him. and as soon as you do, his curls are curtaining your face as you feel the soft press of his plush lips against your own.

"eds," is all you can whisper between kisses as he continues his lovin' on you.

bliss bliss bliss.

the forgotten movie plays until the end, long after you'd turned to face you body towards him, burying your head into his chest, and let out a few long-held tears.

the background starts to fill with the sound of the rain as it begins prickling against the roof, when you raise your head to look up at eddie; lovesick eyes shine back down at you.

"hi," he smiles, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

"i think you're perfect, eddie. thank you for giving me room to grow, and making me feel safe enough to be me," you stroke at his palm.

"you're always safe with me, beautiful. i want you just as you are." he reassures.

"for now, get some rest, okay, sweet girl?"

"okay," you hum, nestling back against him as the rain and his hold on you soothe you to sleep.

Weapon u3u.

can you write one for Eddie where reader is usually all sunshine and rainbows, but her facade begins to crack and he realizes just how bad her depression is so he comfort her and just helps her do the little things like basic hygiene?

i was supposed to write for my eddie series today but i couldn't let this go and it reminded me of much i love writing requests <3 i hope you like this bb 🫂

warnings: fem!reader, reader struggles with depressed but no details, hurt/comfort, eddie being the bf we all deserve

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

when eddie first met you, he was at the lowest point of his life. trapped inside the four dark walls of his mind with seemingly no way out and eventually he stopped looking for an escape. he accepted his fate and got comfortable in his somber solitude. too exhausted to keep on searching for the door’s knob that could get him out.

it wasn’t until you came in that he noticed there were cracks in the walls. he only saw them because your light broke through in a cervice and beamed inside, illuminating the familiar gloom in which he existed.

it was harsh at first. too much light had put him at such unease since he had grown used to the darkness but you were gentle and you were patient. you didn’t barge in, demanding for him to come out and let you burn his eyes with shine. you waited for him to tear the walls he built down by himself, one by one, brick by brick until the both of you were standing on the same side. having your moment underneath the warm sun, except his sunshine was different than yours.

his sunshine was a person.

that’s why he called you ray.

also because he felt like 'sunny' was too on the nose, even for him.

for eight months into your relationship, you’ve seen each other almost everyday. no how hectic and different your schedules get, you always made time for each other. at least for a five minute phone call at the end of the night.

two days in a row, you haven’t picked up the phone and eddie was going crazy but he didn’t want to pressure you, didn’t want to be overbearing. he wanted to give you space, be a cool boyfriend, not too 'overly clingy' as his friends once called him. he tried to be patient. truly did, but by the third day he couldn’t take your radio silence anymore so he showed up to your place.

loud knocks at the door woke you up from your half-sleep, half-closing-my-eyes-to-make-the-world-go-away state that you’ve been in for the last three days.

removing the blanket off your body felt like a chore and the bones of your spine cracked one by one as you sat up on the couch. your bed long abandoned in your room, it became too uncomfortable to sleep in with all the crumbs in it.

sighing, you brought yourself up to your feet and made your way to the door, not even bothering to ask who’s behind it before opening it.

if it’s a serial killer.. well, at least they were nice enough to knock before murdering you.

you wished it was a serial killer when you saw who’s behind the door.

“hi eds.” you fake a smile, trying to make it look as genuine as possible, hoping the dread of him seeing you like this is hidden behind your teeth.

“what’s wrong? where have you been?” he asks, his eyes scanning you up and down, taking in the state of you.

“nothing i’m fine, i’m sorry i haven’t been answering your calls. i’ve been..” fake cough, “sick.” his hands fly to your face, touching your cheeks and forehead to check your temperature and it feels normal. “i’m better now!” you lie again but he doesn’t buy it.

frowning, “let me in.” he says.

you look besides you at the disarray of your apartment hidden behind the door, shame creeps into you at how you’ve let the place get like this. “the place is a mess and i don’t want you to get sick t..” you don’t get to finish your sentence behind he waltz in, “eddie!”

“jesus christ..” he utters as he takes in the state of the living room. the stacks of pillows and blankets on the couch, the empty packets of snacks on the floor, all of the mugs and cups from your kitchen lined up on the coffee table with dried god knows what liquid inside them but nothing catches his attention like your curtains.

they’re shut.

you never shut your curtains.

he vividly remembers you telling him that you love having your curtains and windows open, that you love the breeze that comes in and the natural light.

“i told you, it’s a mess.” you say sheepishly, crossing your arms over your chest after you shut the door.

eddie’s eyes fall upon you in your pajama pants and the tshirt you stole from his closet a few weeks ago, “baby..” his voice is soft, he tries to mirror the way you used to be with him when he was the one with the shut curtains. he knows what it’s like to be in your state but this is his first time being in your shoes, “how long has this been going on?”

giving up on keeping the façade up in front of him, you sit down on the couch where you were laying minutes ago. “always.” your eyes don’t meet his, instead you focus on playing with your fingernails, “i’m usually good at keeping things at bay, shoving it down and pretending all is good and happy and life is all rainbows and sparkles but i’ve been kind of all over the place lately.” you gesture to the mess in the living room with your head.

eddie takes careful steps towards you, sitting on his knees by your legs, his hands find yours and he holds them tenderly rubbing his thumb on your knuckles. “why didn’t you talk to me?”

“i didn’t want to disappoint you.” you say, your voice low. “i know you think of me as your light and i was scared that if you saw me like this, you’d retrogress and you’ve been doing so good eds, i couldn’t burden you with this.” his heart shatters at your words. always selfless, always giving. even at your worst, you thought of him first. “it’s stupid anyway, i’ll get my shit together. i always do, i just need some time.”

“was i a burden to you?” eddie asks and your eyes finally meet his, widened and in disbelief.

“what? no eddie never.” you tell him truthfully.

“then what makes you think you’d be a burden to me?”

you frown, you see his point but still. “i just thought.. you have so much on your plate already.”

“and so did you when you came into my life.”

“it’s different!”

“how is it different?” he says with no judgment in his voice. he just wants to know where your mind is at.

biting your lip, you answer, “i wanted to be there for you. i wanted to help in anyway you’d let me. i wanted to do that then.”

“and i want to do it now.” he says delicately. “i want to be here for you.” he brings your hands to his lips and plants soft kisses on each one of them. “i want you to let me be here with you.”

“baby.. i love you.” his honeyed eyes peer into yours with undeniable sincerity and you mumble, ‘i love you too.’ before he continues, “i’m not gonna force you to get better this second or hold you and scream ‘life is good just take a look around!’ in your face. i’m not gonna make you a therapy appointment first thing in the morning and i’m not gonna force pills down your throat like some kind of a crazy maniac doctor.” he chuckles, trying to lighten the mood and his heart flutters when he sees a glimpse of a smile on your face.

“but i’m not gonna let you go through this by yourself.” he shake his head, “so don’t waste your energy trying to get rid of me because i’m one stubborn hell of a bitch and it’s not gonna happen.” you pull your hand from his grasp to wipe a tear, you don’t even know why you’re crying but these days you don’t seem to know a lot of things. “come here.” he pulls you down into his lap and wraps his arms around you, holding you tight and secure in his embrace.

you let yourself sob on his shoulder for a few seconds, “i stink.”

“you smell better than i do after a day at the autoshop.” he jokes and you laugh through your cries, wetting his shirt, both the one he’s wearing and the one you’re wearing. “i want you to ask me for help. i want to help you however you’d let me. i want to be here.” he says, kissing your shoulder, “you’re not a burden. you’re my baby, you’re my sunlight.”

“even now?” your voice is tired, almost as tired as your soul.

“especially now.” he says, no hesitation in his tone. “will you let me be here for you, ray?” you nod, resting your head against his chest. his heartbeats calm your precarious mind, putting an end to the constant flow of vitriolic thoughts. “i love you.”

you stayed like that for what feels like hours. eddie holding and running a soothing hand up and down your body while you breathed him in, taking in his presence and his words.

“eds?” you whisper his nickname and he immediately grants you his undivided attention.

“umm?”

“do you mind helping me shower?”

a smile is drawn on his face, this is progress, he thinks as he says, “not at all. come on.”

he helps you up and walks with you to the bathroom then he pulls his shirt and jeans off his body, staying in just his boxers before helping you strip your own clothes off.

you feel comfortable standing naked in front of him, he makes you feel safe enough to be vulnerable.

he turns the tap on and makes sure the water is more warm than cold before instructing you to stand underneath it.

the water feels good on your skin, you missed having it engulfing you like this.

he sees you reaching for the soap and your washcloth, “hey hey, let me.” taking them off your hands, he makes a foam and start washing your body for you. all the way from your shoulders and underneath your arms and boobs, down your back before he squats down to wash your legs, you blush as he carefully cleans between your thighs, his eyes squinted and his tongue is peeking out in concentration. he looks adorable.

“all done. now turn around for me please.” he says as he gets the shampoo and pours some into his hand before gently shampooing your hair, detangling it and rubbing your scalp with his fingers.

“feels good?”

you moan as a response and he giggles, “close your eyes, lean back.” you do as he asks, “yeah just like that.” he keeps massaging your head for much longer than necessary but you don’t mind it, it feels nice to be taken care of like that.

finally, he washes your face and once the water starts to get chilly, he pulls you out of the shower and into your bathrobe, “i love you eds.” you tell him, standing at the sink in front of the mirror while he puts toothpaste on your toothbrush.

he smiles, “open up.” you open and let him brush your teeth for you, “i love you too, now spit.”

“this is the first time you tell me to spit.” you joke as you’re foaming at the mouth, literally.

he laughs and slaps your butt on his way out of the bathroom, “come on ray, let’s get you dressed and get some real food, i’m starving.”

you take a second to stare at yourself in the mirror. you’re starting to recognize yourself a little more. still not to the point where you can comfortably say this is who i am and i like who i am but...

“umm ray, i think there's a decapitated cockroach in one of the cups…” eddie yells from your living room, you can hear him picking up the trash and tidying up the space. “nevermind! it’s just boba!”

... you know that one day, guided by the cracks of sunlight beaming from your silly boy, you’ll get there and he’ll be right there with you.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

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